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Zotita
Reviews
1UP (2022)
So bad it's sad and unwatchable
I'm sad for everyone who participated in the making of this movie. I hope it doesn't strongly impact their careers (although for some of them it's clear they will not have a long career).
This movie is boring, clumsy and every part of it makes the other part look bad. I'm not sure if it's the writing, the directing, the acting or something else. I wouldn't be able to point fingers or pinpoint what went wrong, but the result is a bland disaster. What's worse is that it's kind of supposed to be a comedy and there is simply no rhythm there. Probably the jokes aren't quite there either (that scene with the dean at the beginning kind of shows you all you need to stop watching).
It's not even watchable for the amount of cringe you could get.
Why was this movie even made? Makes you wonder: did someone get scammed into doing it? Was it an unavoidable commitment for some reason? Was it just some resume padding for someone? "Hey, I did a movie with XYZ and it came out on streaming services for everyone to watch!" I mean, it's great to put your stuff out there and move on to different and better things but this is the equivalent of what people call in games "shovelware".
If you do decide to watch it...well...you've been warned. Godspeed to you.
PS: I agree with other commenters that this horrible, horrible movie does a huge disservice to inclusion.
The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window (2022)
Bingo!
It's dumb (I mean it as a compliment). I really enjoyed it. I still quietly laugh whenever I remember silly jokes from this show.
I'll probably re watch it again sometime, wearing a robe, having a glass of red wine so full it'll spill on my couch and a casserole all ready to be dropped.
Archive 81 (2022)
I feel cheated
Not so much about a film restorer investigating a mystery. It's more like a tv show about a bland character called Melody who is supposed to be working on her dissertation but instead is doing cheesy home recordings and judging everyone like the Karen she is.
I got bored after 3 episodes.
I did enjoy the first half of the first episode.
This Is a Robbery: The World's Biggest Art Heist (2021)
Snyder-cut it and re release it please
This documentary had a killer title, but it was such a drag to watch.
It feels badly put together. The music is really distracting and too loud. It's hard to focus on the interviews.
It's an ADHD nightmare. I couldn't really focus on anything because it kept jumping from one thing to another without really putting the pieces together or closing any topic.
The King (2019)
Yes, fictional... but also bland
Timothy Chalamet and Robert Pattinson are great actors, but this movie wastes their talent. Their characters and the plot feel inconsistent.
It's a very average movie and it's hard to get much from it. Perhaps it's good for just passing time.
I did enjoy seeing Joel Edgerton in his role. I wish his character had been a bit more elaborate.
I don't recommend it but it's so light that it doesn't hurt to watch it. Unless you're a historian, apparently.
Oh... I did love the music. It felt traditional and fresh at the same time. Sort of New Age.
Richard Jewell (2019)
I've seen better TV ads
A boring 'movie' with no substance.
Mr. Eastwood should retire, already.
Console Wars (2020)
A boring beef between some dudes
This is a mediocre and badly paced documentary that somehow manages to turn an exciting topic into a total borefest.
It's like watching a reality show for boomers.
I'd recommend instead watching any video from the LGR and the Gaming Historian Youtube channels.
Cursed (2020)
Mediocre but watchable
The show feels sort of bland and generic, but I still somehow watched all 10 episodes.
I'd say the dialog writing is the worst part of the show. It's all like "how many men can you spare?", "I will not die for nothing", "he died for honor", "we should rebel against the tyrant", "we cleansed their souls"... nothing of much substance and poetry.
It feels like a low cost, horrible rip-off of TLOTR, GOT, The Witcher, The Dark Crystal, but it never shines on its own and never manages to convey something interesting or new... yet, I still watched the whole thing.
Why? Lockdown, I guess. Or maybe I just didn't want to watch something engaging. If that is what you're looking for, this is your show.