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The Craft (1996)
Witchcraft For Angsty Teen Girls
I actually attended to a Catholic high school school in the 2010s. This is nothing like it, just an average American high school with a very loose uniform code, which is really disappointing. Rebel girls in Catholic schools face a lot more problems with authority than the ones in regular high schools. I can imagine so many scenarios in this film that could have worked so much better if they knew what it was really like to be a troubled teenage girl in a strict Catholic school; taking revenge on strict teachers, suspicious nuns, a Christian-themed assembly where something goes on fire, ghosts, the level of police-like surveillance on school grounds, public prayer, or going into detention for the smallest things...
The concept of the plot itself taps into something primordial, something unique to girls. The rage, the desire for power and freedom to change fate, the desire to connect to the natural and spiritual world, the idea that witchcraft and magic is an inborn right, but that without guidance or wisdom it can turn into the very evil that inspires fear and hate and jealousy.
Loved the music, the aesthetic, the intensity of the plot etc. Literally the only problem I have is the missed opportunity to develop the whole preppy Catholic school idea, which could have been a great influence to take the movie to the next level.
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994)
Clickbait, I guess
I love Mary Shelley's story, but this isn't her story. Far too many creative liberties have been taken, and not very good ones. The pacing is awful, things happen very quickly, there is no atmosphere. Victor's domestic life is portrayed as frivolous and full of partying, when in the story it was more peaceful and rustic.
Furthermore, Victor was meant to be a gentle, romantic soul with fantastic ideals, but here he truly is portrayed as mad, irrational, and blinded by ambition. The only time in Mary Shelley's book where Victor raised his voice or appeared angry was more than halfway into the story - and only at the Creature - but in this film he's yelling and arguing quite frequently and completely ignores the advice of his superiors. Victor's relationship with his father is non-existent, when it should have been key. Meanwhile, the Creature, though an abomination, was pure as a child at heart, but his creator's and mankind's rejection of him was what turned him evil. This latter part Robert De Niro captured brilliantly, I really felt for him, and he was able to inspire both deep empathy as well as fear. His eyes were very emotive, which gave his character real soul. Honestly, De Niro's performance reminded me why I loved the story so much, it made me really emotional and heartbroken for the Creature. It was true to Mary Shelley's vision, at least.
Robert De Niro was arguably the best actor in it, so my positive rating is for him (as well as Helena Bonham Carter to some extent), but also for costume and set design which was excellent.
The music was misplaced, generic classical strings without much personality or atmosphere.
Camera direction was awkward and amateurish and the sudden zoom-ins were comical at times.
Accents were varied and mixed between English and American.
Kenneth Branagh should have either directed or acted, not both at the same time, because although it's obvious he cares, he wasn't fully focused in either role, making everything he did seem rushed and anxious.
This film made me feel robbed. It was very unlike Mary Shelley's story, so it's very dishonest to title it that way, even though De Niro's performance is worth seeing. 4/10.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
The Matrix Resurrections isn't real, it can't hurt you...
WARNING: Detailed review ahead - skip to the end for a TLDR version.
"It's as if everything we did was for nothing." - Neo, The Matrix Resurrections
There is a well-known philosophical concept that people have been discussing probably ever since atoms first began to be taught as the building blocks of physical reality. The question is something like this: If someone you were very close to, someone you loved and knew intimately (or even yourself) were to die and you could bring them back, rebuild them exactly as they were, each and every nerve, atom by atom - would it be the same person? If yes, why? If not, who are they? Before atoms, people used to make horror films about how resurrecting the dead, even a loved one, even animals, will make them come back all wrong.
The Matrix Resurrections takes this concept quite literally, and answers it quite clearly - no one is who they used to be, all they have are memories and flashbacks, deja-vus and words that have been said before. The film is a perversion of The Matrix, a zombie more than a Second Coming.
I won't be spoiling anything by recalling the events of previous films, such as Neo's Messianic sacrifice at the end of Matrix 3. So how is it that he's back in the Matrix, in the present day, and aged by twenty years? I won't spoil that for you, if you plan on seeing this film, but it wouldn't change anything anyway. All that matters is that Neo is back because the plot requires him to be back, but he's not quite Neo, and he's not quite back.
His name is Tom (also known as Thomas Anderson), and he's a world-famous video game developer now, known for the Matrix Trilogy, a VR game series that Tom struggles to believe didn't actually happen to him in real life. He lives alone in a stylish, futuristic apartment, and regularly visits a cafe called Simulatte. In this version of the Matrix, everyone knows him, and if they don't know him, they definitely know his games. Think Bethesda's Todd Howard, the man behind Skyrim, Oblivion and Fallout series. But bigger.
But even with his memories wiped, Tom is haunted by the same feeling that he had since the first film. That something isn't right with the world, with his life. Unlike before, now his feelings are being kept in check by a therapist, whom he calls "the analyst", who keeps trying to bring Tom "back to reality" and ensure that the Matrix and Neo remain as fictional ideas in Tom's head - reality and illusion are switched in Tom's head. The Matrix is a fictional video game, nothing more...
The premise sounds promising. We learn as much in the trailer.
Meanwhile, a cast of new "unplugged" characters come in to form a group whose first priority is to free Neo, to remind him of who he is, and what is/was real. It results in a kind of tug-of-war between these "liberators" and The Analyst, who employs all kinds of manipulative tactics to ensure Neo remains "plugged in", even prescribing him blue pills, and trying to convince Tom/Neo that he's a mentally unstable person (Tom/Neo: "Am I crazy?" The Analyst: "We don't use that word around here").
But Neo is not the only one plugged into the Matrix. Trinity is out there too, now going by the name of Tiffany. Tiffany is married to a guy named Chad, and has two or three kids. Coincidentally, she regularly visits the same cafe as Tom/Neo, Simulatte. Eventually, the two start talking, and sparks fly. Tiffany confesses she's unhappy with her life, feeling like she's been "programmed by society" to want things that didn't really fulfill her, and that the character Trinity in Tom's video game bears striking similarity to her. Being with Tiffany ends up being the most important reason behind Neo's awakening, and also his every motivation thereafter.
Everything else in the film made no sense whatsoever, or was too stupid, too contrived or completely irrelevant. This new character, Bugs, was at first intriguing because she seemed to have a special connection to Neo, Trinity and Morpheus - almost as if she was Neo and Trinity's child, having qualities of both, and at times deliberately talking and behaving like Trinity. But nothing much about her gets explained, and the actress tends to talk quickly in a strange English accent so many times I couldn't make out what she was saying, and it usually happened whenever she was explaining something contrived or providing some kind of backstory. And don't get me started on the Morpheus replacement, I have no idea what that even is because it was muttered once and never again, but my guess is that he's meant to be a re-upload of Morpheus' memories or consciousness, only he is nothing like Morpheus, and is a sentient AI. The Morpheus we know was chiefly defined first by his unshakable belief in Neo as the (reincarnation) of the Savior and second by his incredible leadership abilities. He exuded a classic wise mentor role that we would associate with the likes of Yoda or Gandalf (but one who also knows gun fu). In this film, he was a comic relief with a flamboyant dressing style and a glass of Martini. I mean, what?
And remember the classic cold green-blue tint from the previous films? That subtle colouring which indicated when one was inside The Matrix? Now The System looks "beautiful", and the Matrix is more associated with shiny gold, with many scenes featuring plenty of bright sunshine. Instead of feeling horrified, characters are content when they are able to perceive the Matrix code - their prison - around them...
There are so many questions, plotholes and abandoned concepts as well, but many of which are haphazardly explained to Neo in dialogue (like why some machines are actually helping humans now, what happened to Morpheus, what happened to Zion, why the Matrix still exists etc etc).
The most disappointing aspect, however, was not the plot, or the characters, or the special effects... It was the fight scenes. It's been chaos throughout. The only highlight was a bunch of possessed people leaping out of skyscraper windows like a bunch of kamikaze planes yeeting themselves at Neo and Trinity, but that was verging on comedy.
The Matrix films are known for pushing boundaries, but the only thing that was pushed here was my patience. Halfway through the film I was contemplating on walking out from boredom, and that's relatively rare for me when it comes to films - especially being a fan of the Matrix Trilogy (and Animatrix, and Making Of/Behind the Scenes etc).
But there WAS one genuine aspect where Lana Wachowski did push limits.
Bold self-awareness for what this film really is.
The Matrix Resurrections is distinguished from other nostalgia remakes/reboots/sequels plaguing our screens in recent years by directly addressing that. My jaw actually dropped when Smith, after inviting Tom to his office, ordered him to start working on the "fourth Matrix game" because of a major contract with Warner Brothers, and if the game isn't made in time, there will be serious economic consequences. There were several scenes which had a peculiar quality as if portraying real-life experiences of Wachowski. There are scenes and dialogues of a team of young video game developers talking about what The Matrix is supposed to represent/be a metaphor of, what it should be etc, a conversation about how sequels should be the same as prequels, with minor differences, how the wheel shouldn't be re-invented etc. Meanwhile Tom, who is the mastermind of The Matrix series, sits quietly, in a complete daze, giving no input whatsoever to this Fourth Matrix game... It indicates that this may be what happened in real life. This isn't Lana Wachowski's film, it's made by a group of people who have no capacity for deep philosophical or existentialist thought or any understanding or connection to the first film.
Tldr; This film explains nothing and changes nothing. Instead I suggest you watch The Animatrix if you haven't already - a beautifully crafted series which explains everything about The Matrix lore and provides a lot of food for thought. The Matrix Resurrections isn't a Wachowski film - it's a conspiracy by Warner Brothers.
Splice (2009)
Trash Film - I Love It
This movie had soooooo much potential, so many amazing concepts, but the tone was all over the place; the editing is literally comedic and worst I've ever seen, the dialogue is awkward af. Still, I really enjoyed watching it, it's really weird and messed up and funny and cute and cool - in short, my kind of weird. This could be such a good horror/drama, but somehow it's more like a messed up comedy about two dumb scientists (if that's even possible) who become "adoptive parents" to a humanoid hybrid they secretly spliced with active "junk DNA" who grows rapidly. Even the name they give her is dumb, Dren, which is Nerd reversed (apparently the company the scientists work for?).
On a more serious note, the aesthetics, design, cinematography etc. Are on point, I loved the vibe, especially the claustrophobic lab feeling in the first half of the film. The opening credits are actually my favourite of any movie I've ever seen, very unique, triggers subconscious memories of being in utero. The beginning was extremely promising, until the spliced creature starts wearing human clothes and looking like a mutated toddler - it goes downhill from there. CGI is a bit clunky, but adds to the experience as far as comedy is concerned, and looks cool (sometimes). The motivations and psychology of Dren stay as a total mystery; she wants to kill people/animals just as much as she wants to connect to them and love them, which finally results in a kind of violent parasitic impulse with sexual undertones, which was actually kind of interesting. Otherwise it's a completely chaotic and unpredictable entity.
I HATED the female scientist, she was extremely irrational, emotionally stunted and not right in the head. It was unbelievable. The man I was a bit more sympathetic towards, but that might just be Adrien Brody doing so well with such a bizarre role. Though the two characters were meant to be a couple, they acted more like siblings or friends (with benefits). There was way more connection between Brody's character and Dren, both the romantic and sexual elements. I have to emphasize how weird it was though, especially considering the scientist witnessed the birth and formation of Dren and tried to kill her several times, so I mean. You know. But it's implied his character has a telepathic connection to Dren and is far more intune with her than the female scientist.
The soundtrack was very forgettable, generic instrumentals. It could have used some deep drone/humming or something. This kind of film is just begging for an unusual soundtrack, to match the sound effects and the strange noises Dren makes.
I want to make a compilation video of all the funny/awkward scenes in the film because it's literally 90% of its content. I can't tell you how many times I yelled "WHAT THE F**CK", it's at least every few minutes. If you love bizarre awkward stuff, you'll like this. If you're looking for something genuinely disturbing with some psychological depth or if you're an actual scientist yourself, I think it will disappoint you or even enrage you. None of the questions are answered and no mysteries are solved and I bet nothing is scientifically accurate or logical. Just a sci-fi film about a psychologically traumatized woman with mommy issues and an overworked indecisive emotionally confused man who play Go- I mean Frankenstein.
TLDR; Ridiculous, poorly edited & written film, but pretty damn entertaining. I'll give it a generous 6/10 for purely subjective reasons (as almost all of my ratings are). Objectively? It would be a harsh 3/10.
Life of Brian (1979)
Not to be THAT person but...
I was disappointed at how many jokes in this film have been made at the expense of disabled people, with lisps and mental disabilities being the butt of the joke. Over and over again and drawn out. It's something a mean bully would do. I'm not sure what kind of person would think to make fun of a disability, regardless of whether the character is a Roman governor or a lowly servant (who were pretending the whole time anyway). Rape is also made fun of, which is really what propels the story forward and Brian's need to fight the Romans (which is fine on its own, but not the way the revelation is presented). I feel like at times the film was too eager to express its own political stance, which was unnecessary, and detracted from the film's inherent absurdity and juvenile humor. Aside from all of that, it was brilliant. It didn't age as well as you would expect though, which is the main problem with it, as I have described.
Anastasia (1997)
Beautiful Film
I'm at a loss for words at the beauty and the heart of this film. While at times overly-dramatic in music numbers (I'm not a fan of musicals) and a little simplistic, it's nevertheless really heartwarming and the artwork is obviously breathtaking and merges beautifully with the soundtrack. I actually teared up a couple of times, and I loved Rasputin (voiced by Christopher Lloyd) and his albino bat sidekick Bartok, who was only ever genuinely concerned about his master's well-being and stress management and essentially wasn't even evil. The whole idea of Rasputin basically being a zombie who would occasionally drop a limb or two (or all of them) was both grotesque and hilarious and definitely an original concept I haven't seen elsewhere. Rasputin himself was like a mix of Hades (Disney's "Hercules") and Scar (from 90s "The Lion King"), though exactly why he wanted to destroy the Romanov's wasn't made clear, apart from there being some kind of betrayal he took really hard , obviously. I'm not exactly satisfied with the fluffy ending, since I'd think Anastasia's greater priority should be to help Russians back home who were clearly shown to be miserable and poor under Communism and actually hoped that Anastasia was still alive. Then again, this is a fairytale so I guess marrying your sweetheart (who was actually prepared to step away from her life even if it hurt) is more important than your responsibility as a monarch.
In any case, I feel like this could definitely be a perfect movie to watch during Christmas-time, as it evokes a really nostalgic and authentic fairytale feeling. I would also recommend it to anyone who enjoys the steampunk aesthetic, because this film has a lot of that kind of vibe. I loved it. 8/10.
Lost in Translation (2003)
A very real, human film. It could happen to you.
Let's take a moment to appreciate how real this movie is, no Hollywood westernized gimmicks that I could perceive. This movie is very human. I forgot I was watching a film, and instead had an experience that I was totally involved in, which rarely happens. This is also a movie with a high rewatchability rate. It is perfectly shot, and the style of storytelling hides in the details. It's not pretentious, as a lot of movies of this caliber and style are, nor does it dumb things down. It was very warm, in fact. Finally, it reminded me why I've always wanted to go to Japan. The thing is, you don't have to go to Tokyo to feel lost in translation with people. But you do have to feel lost in order to be found. I would say that Tokyo, besides being a real place & setting in this film, can be used as a metaphor just as effectively. But really what I enjoyed the most is the connection between Charlotte and Bob. At first there's a mutual understanding. There's definitely friendship. Then there's an odd father-daughter relationship, which finally moves onto romantic attraction. But the whole time the two characters are somehow on the same page, on the same level. They have more in common with each other's existential state, which can be seen as the most profound kind of connection two people can share at any time. Unfortunately, it's not the kind of connection than can go anywhere, realistically. They can't be together in the normal understanding, and they never initiate their relationship or cross any boundaries. I don't know, man. This movie is like Zen Buddhism. It's satisfyingly simple and minimalist, yet it contains the deepest truths about the human condition. WITHOUT being pretentious. It's the kind of experience you feel. We may watch films with our eyes, listen to them with our ears, but Lost In Translation speaks to another kind of sensory perception, if you can call it that. It is very ambient and sensuous. You feel as if you're there. I think it's great. There were some genuine laughs and there were a lot of scenes that I feel like weren't acted at all, there's a strong authentic feel to every scene that is extremely rare to come by in movies these days. It was like a breath of fresh air. Loved it.