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Encanto (2021)
A worse script than Frozen
You might enjoy this film for the colours and the music, but the script is so badly written and paced I found it hard to engage with the story. Maybe this was down to directing decisions. Act One lasts over 50 minutes when it should last between 10 and 15. Crucial scenes that should occur in the first act are introduced just before the end of Act Two. Archetypes are subverted, which borders on refreshing, but ultimately fail. There is a Cain and Abel story in here which is touched upon for about two minutes, but capitulated quickly. I didn't care what happened in Act Three, because I didn't care about any of the characters in this frustrating mess of a film.
Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)
Equal Quantities of Excellence and Terrible
I loved parts of this movie as much as I've loved MCU movies (almost). Other parts are so flawed and silly though, that it brings my overall enjoyment down to a six. That said, it's definitely the best 'DCEU' movie. Just a few moments of forced wokeness amounting up to about three separate sentences/sentiments that could easily have been left out.
Z for Zachariah (2015)
A Powerful, Understated Gem
I watched this film about 4 years ago. The three actors in the movie all give excellent performances, but I'd have to select Chiwetel Ejiofor as my standout performer. I loved the pacing, the tone and the soundtrack. Some have said it was slow and boring, and I can obviously see their point, but if you were lucky enough, as I was to get immersed in this film from the beginning, the pace of the film really enhances your enjoyment. It allows you to appreciate in the subtlety. You are allowed to feel the depth of the situation in which they find themselves.
Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Survivors (1989)
An Impactful, yet Disappointing Episode
I feel like the problems I have in this episode are down to bad directing. The actors seem to be putting in 2 dimensional performances in places. You can tell that the series is in a transition from the flawed first two series and into a place where it discovers what it is about half way through season 3. Worf is quite wooden, though he does have one of the best lines: 'Good tea. Nice house'. Kevin Uxbridge Delivers one of the most impactful lines this season when he informs Picard that he didn't just kill the attackers, but exterminated their entire race. Picard's response is confusing that they have no punishment that fits the crime. It's genocide. The punishment is probably imprisonment. I think what he means is, they have no means to punish an omnipotent being.
Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
0% Misandry. 0% Woke. 100% Fun.
Please go watch this movie if you're fed up with the destruction of modern cinema due to the infestation of Hollywood by 'woke culture'. There is plenty of diversity, but the refreshing thing is that it's entirely organic. There are even white men in positions of power, and none of them are evil, or dumb (apart from Robotnik, of course). No women talk down to men. All the roles are written to serve the story, not someone's political agenda. You'll smile the whole way through and have a few laughs along the way. An excellent, nostalgic climax to the movie with a couple of enticing end credits scenes. Take your kids, take your girlfriend, take your mates!
Mary Queen of Scots (2018)
What a terrible film
More historically inaccurate than Braveheart. That is some achievement. Woke liberties taken throughout. Awful. Absolutely awful.
Tomb Raider (2018)
An Almost Realistic Lara Croft
I loved how they didn't bring external politics into this film and instead had an intelligent, brave woman as the protagonist who is limited by her physique when it comes to combat against men. It's getting tiring watching small women kick men's arses. It takes you out of the film. If you're going to have a female role model, make the character believably formidable and give the actress a chance to inspire people (and by people, I don't just mean little girls. Female role models should be able to inspire all demographics, including men). As for the film, I found it a little plodding and aimless at times, but Vikander did her very best, albeit in a miscast role (imho), but I liked that she wasn't a Superhuman Mary Sue pseudo-male and that the plot and action was 90-95% believable.
Zombie Nation (2004)
Holly is my Drama Tutor at university
There are much worse films than this one. The acting is not bad unlike many basement budget films out there. That being said, some of the actors seem to have trouble getting into the feel of the scene. You can see attempts at cinematography from the director (although what he was going for maybe isn't appropriate to what is needed) but it's let down by poor sets and locations. The editing isn't the best. I think it may have benefited from using the poor sets as a 'thing', much in the way Dogville does. This would have allowed us to view the police as a force out of phase with real life. Whatever you have, you should utilise it. Change some unmotivated acting into a tonal shift and use it as comedy. Bottom line: it's not a good film, but you very rarely use offal in Michelin rated restaurants. You gets what you pay for. As for my tutor, Szilvi (who plays Holly) she is the greatest. In real life she is completely mental (in the best way possible) and I would rate her as my favourite teacher (among some really great teachers). A wonderful person.
X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)
An incredible spectacle. Hard to knock
This was an incredible film. Multi-faceted, multi-layered, but in no way difficult to follow. The future scenes were the best action scenes I think I've ever seen and they weren't blurred like the bloody Transformers films. You could see what was happening. The acting was very earnest and sincere. I actually felt like these characters meant a lot to each other and what they were doing was real. James MacAvoy (someone please tell Leonardo DiCaprisun to watch James MacAvoy act so he can see how it's really done) was excellent in the tortured role. Michael Fassbender was so fantastically intimidating. For the first time, I actually enjoyed Jennifer Lawrence in a film (and I really enjoyed watching her in this role). I loved seeing Bishop finally. I can't see that complete cardboard cut-out of an actor, Aaron Taylor- Johnson, doing as good a performance of Quicksilver as the young lad here. Toad was believable thankfully. Hugh Jackman did his usual great portrayal of Wolverine. Ellen Page- we really need to see more of Ellen Page. She's a brilliant actress. The 'Sirs' McKellen and Stewart were just fantastic to watch. Halle Berry was enjoyable. I found it difficult watching Colossus get his arse kicked, but the Sentinels were just a magnificent foe. Hard to put any other antagonists above them. they reminded me of the T-1000 from Terminator 2. They were just an completely irresistible force.
So, in conclusion, plus sides: The Sentinels Trask Both Magnetos Mystique Both Professor Xs Bishop The portal woman (loved her and I loved the way it made me think of the game 'Portal') The action scenes The storyline (which I really thought was so well thought out) The future scenes Quicksilver Not sure if it was Pyro or The Human Torch, but he was good anyway Even the Iceman was good. The humour was good. I laughed a few times. The film basically kept me smiling throughout (apart from when it was shocking me with revelations and some of the things that happen to my favourite characters)
8/10
A very high '8/10'
8.9/10
One thing I've noticed in myself as I've reflected on the film is just how tortured Wolverine is. This is the first time I've actually seen the character as such a damaged individual. There is a scene between Prof X and Wolverine, which I originally thought was a little lame (not too lame, but just quite sensitive). But then, when I thought back to the whole film all the way to the end, I actually feel very sorry for the guy. He's like a human guinea pig. Because his body heals, he feel duty- bound, obligated to allow himself to be use for all kinds of destructive procedures. One thing that doesn't regenerate are his emotions. It's almost as though he's saying "You can't hurt me. I can take it. I can take anything." But he can't. Not in his mind. If you're reading this review and you haven't watched the film- watch it at your first opportunity.
Godzilla (2014)
Directed by a 3 yr old
Gareth Edwards? Who's that? Is what you'll be hearing in two or three years time, hopefully. It's hard to do, but Godzilla is a summer blockbuster that is even worse, and even more of a disappointment than Man of Steel. The direction throughout was that of a man who'd seen other films and 'tried to do THAT'. He failed. As soon as I saw Juliette Binoche put on the radiation suit, I thought to myself 'so this is where the father and son will be getting their motivation for the movie'. Fast forward 15 years and this *was* exactly where Walter White got his motivation... until he was far too prematurely written out of the script. They got rid of the only good thing about the film! But they didn't even give him a memorable death. They just fizzled him out. No pathos. No emotion. All we got was a very indifferent: "Dad's gone" on an emotionless voice-mail sign off. And now we come to the worst element in the film: Aaron Taylor-Johnson. Aaron Taylor-Johnson who, for some strange reason I'm sure only known to himself, decided to do an acting impersonation of another none-entity actor: 'Milo Ventimiglia'. Compare their acting style. You'll see I'm right. I didn't know that Aaron Taylor-Johnson couldn't act before this film... but now I do. Previously, I'd just seen him turn up for Kick-Ass and do some acting in front of a camera... I think. Here though- and I have no idea why he chose Milo Ventimiglia as his acting inspiration- he manages to go through the whole film without once troubling his emotion chip. He was awful. One tone the whole way through, regardless of the situation. You see your dad- no emotion. You see a gigantic monster- no emotion. Your wife is in peril- NO EMOTION! Speaking of his wife, Elizabeth Olsen was good (for the limited time she was on the screen). The kid was completely superfluous to the script. Bryan Cranston, as brilliant and talented as he is, seemed to come straight from the set of Breaking Bad carrying on his portrayal of Walter White. He's a magnetic screen presence though and as soon as the camera went away from him, you just wanted it to get back as soon as possible (especially when it cut away to scenes of the bulked up Milo Taylor- Johnson). But even he- EVEN HE- was a disappointment. He was just Walter White. Again. Determined, driven and not averse to breaking the rules. The monsters were good (I suppose): The Cloverfields were all right. The Godzilla was okay. It was incredibly frustrating though when we find out that thermonuclear blasts don't kill the life-forms (pretty early on in the film), and yet the soldiers carry on firing guns at them. Why? I mean- why? As for the film, there were more clichés than a Stephanie Meyer novel, which I found incredibly exasperating. We could see what was coming way before the director did, it seemed. Subway train comes off tracks; splits open at the end; dangles precariously; screaming passengers slide out; Milo Ventimiglia stops himself from falling; but what's this? There's also a lost child he's been protecting somewhere in the carriage? Oh no, there he is- he's sliding down and--- yep, Milo has caught him. Phew! About a minute before this though, one of the Cloverfields turned up causing the carriage full of fleeing citizens to go absolutely nuts. All apart from Aaron Taylor-Miglia. He looks at the gigantic behemoth and, well, just sort of looks at it. "And cut. Thanks for the great acting... how much did we pay him, again?" I found it frustrating that as soon as the action started with the monsters, the director cut away to something mundane. No! Don't cut away! We want to see some action! The multi-skydive scene was Reign of Fire accompanied by the eerie, insistent choir song from 2001: A Space Odyssey. So, to sum up: Juliette Binoche- obvious outcome. Bryan Cranston- not enough (but too much Walter White already). Milo Ventimiglia- "paging Milo Ventimiglia!" Elizabeth Olsen- not enough. Kid- please return to dressing room. You're not needed. David Strathairn- why did they do that big reveal at the beginning? It's only David Strathairn. Ken Watanabe- Believable. Ken Watanabe's assistant- 'not' believable. Then, at the end, why do they cry about Godzilla? Yes, he killed the Cloverfields, but he still probably crushed hundreds, if not thousands of innocent people. And who's to say he won't be back when he gets a rumble in his tummy? And if I hear the words 'It is man's arrogance...' one more time, I swear I'm going to resort to violence. In conclusion- I was so, so let down. This could've been so much more. But it wasn't. It was just rubbish.
Jobs (2013)
Exasperatingly exasperating rubbish
Ashton Kutcher is awful. I mean, really bad. We saw Daniel Day Lewis doing the Abraham Lincoln lumbering walk in 'Lincoln'. I think Ashton Kutcher saw that film before embarking on his portrayal of Steve Jobs. Maybe it was the last part of the puzzle for him. "Yes! The walk! I am now Steve Jobs!" But I don't want to get laden down by the walk. We only see that from time to time thankfully. The film is not very dynamic. In fact, it could be defined by it's stasis. The most action packed part of the film is when he shaves off his beard. Ooh! Big scene! There is one part where they are on their way to show their first computer to some bunch of experts in a lecture room, and whilst in the car, the passenger says, "Hey, slow down. I wanna get there in one piece." We can see that they are going no more than 20mph in a very sedentary manner. Driving like a pensioner. I'm not going to write more than this. The film is just way too horrible and you shouldn't waste your time watching it, or reading these reviews on it. Ashton Kutcher is just a terrible actor. Oh. My. God!
The Art of War (2000)
All kinds of low that wants to be high.
If you like your films filled solely with exposition, cliché, choreographed fight scenes, bad dialogue and like to willingly suspend your disbelief to unreasonable proportions: then this is the film for you. My god, you're going to LOVE this film. It has exposition, cliché, choreographed fight scenes up the yin-yang, bad dialogue and what's more, you have to willingly suspend your disbelief to unreasonable proportions like a mother-lover. Did you know this film was actually released in cinemas? No lie. It wasn't a straight to video, self-funded-by-some-idiot-who-had-more- money-than-sense-but-just-wanted-to-produce-a-movie venture, you know. With convict Wesley Snipes in the lead role that ISN'T Blade, the scientology follower, Anne Archer and Sean Bean's brother Michael Biehn in any role after 1990, you just know you're in for a treat. Donald Sutherland just wants to say his lines and get paid, as does everyone else. This film is just rubbish. Really rubbish. Not sure why I didn't give it 1/10. Maybe it's because the editing was good. I don't know. It just didn't feel like a 'Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2', 'Tank Girl', or 'Nights in Rodanthe' bad to me. This was a 'This Means War' bad. Annoying as hell, but you just can't justify to yourself giving it a '1'. Apart from that it was great. Just remember to shove hot needles into your eyeballs and knitting needles through your eardrums after you press play so you don't feel the adverse effects of the film like I did. Blindness and deafness are small prices to pay.
The Cabin in the Woods (2011)
Close to Perfect.
This is one of those films- one of those gems- you don't want to watch too many times for fear of ruining it for next time, like The Shawshank Redemption, or Pulp Fiction. An original opening, with it's understated office worker setting, title appearance and introduction to the protagonists. Every character seems to be a perfect fit. Excellent casting- Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford especially. Flawless acting. Superb, witty dialogue. A brilliant storyline with refreshing twists. I couldn't stop smiling from about half-way through. A few minutes later, I was holding my girlfriend's hand- not because I was scared- just because I was so excited to see what was coming next. When we reached the denouement, I just didn't want it to be a let down -Please don't ruin the film- It didn't. It was nothing I would've thought of and easily one of the best endings to ANY film- let alone a horror film. We've all seen the 'cabin in the woods' films before, but this one leaves them all behind, even the greats, such as The Evil Dead and... well, Evil Dead 2. This is 'The Evil Dead' meets 'Tucker & Dale vs. Evil'. The monsters seem to be revitalised in this film. Like new. Nothing clichéd. I'm tempted to put in spoilers, but I don't think I need to. If you've seen the film, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't seen the film- watch it! It's full of jumps, frights, surprises, twists, laughter... and a little bit of Japan. Hilarious. You root for the kids and you root for the office guys. You even root for the monsters (and Mordecai- the Gas Station Guy). This film is nothing like what you might be expecting, or even dreading, This is not the Evil Dead remake. This is a piece of art that should be appreciated for the genius it is. It's No.12 in my all-time list.
The Last Stand (2013)
6.4 on IMDb? You should be ashamed of yourselves
This film was abysmal. The acting was terrible. The script was awful. The action was at times as believable as a Tom & Jerry cartoon. Nothing made sense. A car that didn't need to refuel. A helicopter that couldn't follow a road. Cars exploding next to people, but the person not only lives but gets angry and goes on the attack. FBI that have no tactical support. Bad guys that are both super-villains, but also mind-numbingly inept. A sheriff that can't tell the citizens to go find somewhere safe when there is an evil army coming their way. Johnny Knoxville (and all that that entails). A man who dies in a policewoman's arms outside a medical centre and they don't even take him inside for a blood transfusion and a defibrillator. I mean, you die, but there's still a chance for you. You'd be like, 'don't mourn me! take me inside and let the doctors have a go at me, please!' This isn't the worst film I've seen lately, but it's down there. Flight, The Host, Bullet to the Head, Red Dawn, Pain & Gain, Wanderlust... all infuriatingly awful films in their own right. Let me just finish by saying- I hated this film and it should never have been made. Long gone are the days when an Arnie film was a must-see joyride. This film made me want to cry. Thank goodness I didn't pay to watch it.
Prometheus (2012)
A Very Good Film. Imaginative. A Few Minor, Niggling Flaws.
After reading a few reviews, it seems I have seen a few things in this film, others haven't. Maybe i'm giving it credit where none is due.
The four things which gave me reason for annoyance are: 1 - Why did the two women at the end run away from the rolling alien spaceship? Why didn't they just run to the side? Job done. Simple. 2 - If you are going to pay a lot of money for a good actor, don't give her a crap death. Charlize Theron: squished. Rubbish. 3 - Give your film a proper ending, if only for the poor audience. Flying off into space looking for answers is not an ending; it's an ellipsis... 4 - Weapons of Mass Destruction? All you do by mentioning the dreaded W.M.D. is make the audience think of Team America: World Police and Hans 'Bricks'. This is why Green Zone didn't work as a movie. Yes, the aliens W.M.D.s in this film, but why not refer to them as biological warfare or genetically constructed or genetically modified weapons? "Hey, Hans Bricks- you're bustin' my balls, guy."
The only bad performance was the grumpy Sean Harris's character. Maybe this is the fault of bad direction or bad acting. I don't know.
Michael Fassbender was faultless. Brilliant. You never knew at any point what his motivations were or who his allegiances were with... if any.
I loved the 'Space Jockey' aliens right from the very start of the film. They were intimidating and much more powerful than the humans. A nemesis is only worthy if it is far more powerful than the protagonists. Big tick! And I'm happy we didn't get to know why they did what they did. There is always room for enigma in these films. No need to answer all questions. Give us something to think about.
The alien at the very end, I am guessing, is not a progenitor of the Xenomorphs as we saw in the 'Alien' films, but a different form of genetic/biological weapon as created by the Space Jockeys.
I thought the technology was very believable and at times so creative, it left me smiling at what i was watching.
Maybe they could have used an old actor instead of Guy Pearce, as the only time we saw him young, was in promotion videos for the film. Maybe he will come back in the next films? Maybe as Weyland Progeny, or maybe as a robot?
I love that the Alien universe is being explored in this imaginative and different way. I look forward to any further episodes. I just wish they had come along before Aliens vs Predator: Requiem gave a kidney punch to the whole operation. Totally inconsistent - acid for blood only when it suited the film-maker and so on...
Go watch and enjoy!
The World's Fastest Indian (2005)
Feel good despite that accent
A surprisingly good film, though I wish Anthony Hopkins would either stay away from doing accents altogether, or learn to do them properly. He sounded more like a Dorset farmer than a New Zealand Farmer. That said, it was a heart warmingly original film that showed humanity at it's best, which is something that can only be portrayed in fact-based dramas. The peripheral characters were allowed to be virtuous, despite being shown sometimes as obnoxious or obstinate. The triteness of some characters i found to be acceptable as they saved time on being a brief overview of the culture shock. I didn't particularly like the style of acting of Anthony Hopkins as it seemed he was doing a Robert Duvall impersonation, which i think Robert Duvall would have done better (referring to the laughs he does after most sentences to show his happy-go-lucky nature).