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Fallout (2024)
Happily surprised
I love the Fallout game series, but with Bethesda's handling of it, and their recent disaster being Starfield, I didn't expect this to be good. Obviously they didn't make the series, but being the IP holder and ones who have influenced the new stories, which I'd say have been lacklustre, their involvement at all gave a bad smell to this series. Accompanied by really corny Hollywood marketing, I expected this to be a mainline show directed at normies, and not actual fans of the games. I'm happy to say that's not the case
While Fallout has some corny parts, and typical Hollywood moments, it's never offensive enough to deter. The writing doesn't take itself as seriously as Cyberpunk: Edgerunners or Arcane, being my two favourite game adaptations, but Fallout has always had its goofy side, being a satirical narrative about post-war politics, so it didn't really hurt my viewing experience as it may have done with others.
If you're a fan of the games, I can say that it is directly appealing to the newer generation of games, from Fallout 3 and onwards, and even New Vegas for the ones who lean out of the Bethesda camp. Fallout 1 had some references, but the first two games really take a back seat and more so exist as a benchmark of story accuracy and making sure the timelines are good. I've yet to see any references or tie-ins to those games, while aesthetically it pulls from Fallout 4, and it also shares a number of the same locations from Fallout 4. Towards the end we see some tie-in to Fallout: New Vegas which gets me excited.
Story wise we follow multiple characters, that all have converging narratives. The story isn't anything particularly amazing, feeling more like a bunch of side stories tied together. In a way it feels akin to a game story, which I'm all for. The details flesh out the world and the lore a bit more, and in a way that I personally like.
The main selling point is the set design, with characters, clothes, power armour, locations, all looking high quality. Every episode is such a treat visually, and it makes you want to go back and play the games just to experience the world of Fallout again. This in-of-itself makes the show worth watching. When the music kicks in, and the vibe is just right, it makes me smile, and that in itself is enough for me to recommend the show.
Fallout is the best live action game adaptation I've seen, and I'm so glad that it didn't fall into the same trappings as The Witcher did.
Kimetsu no Yaiba Kizuna no Kiseki, Soshite Hashira Geiko e (2024)
First half is filler
Second half is probably the start of the next season coming out. Honestly don't bother going to see this movie - just watch it online, or wait for next season. The first portion is a small recap of the first few seasons, and then it covers last seasons ending, and then has a small part after wrapping it up - which seems to be new content. Honestly went on for too long, and that is largely to all the recap. It's not like it's bad per-say, but it didn't feel like a movie - it felt like a bunch of anime episodes stringed together. Waste of a movie ticket to be honest. Probably the least memorable movie-going experience I've ever had.
Wayward Pines (2015)
Wayward Pines suffers from long air time
According to the author of the book, they condensed a lot of the story in the first season, and didn't expect a second season. The first season was an amazing mystery story, not one that I haven't seen done before, with series like From and Shinsekai Yori coming to mind. However it was solid and creepy. Then we go into the 2000 year time skip futuristic angle. At first I assumed this was an elaborate scheme by the people running Wayward Pines, to trick the protagonist. However it was the truth, and honestly it felt really cheap compared to the mystery we had before. Then instead of creating anymore mystery, season 2 is basically fully opened up, with barely any mystery or intrigue. It's a mindless slog of seeing kids run the town, and what that looks like, which is honestly way less entertaining. We have a complete cast shift as well, killing off every character that had any weight to the original series. If they managed to wrap up season 1, and kept it short, I'd give it an 8 or higher... But the second season is so brutally boring compared to the first, and feels like "The 100" level of stretching a story out.
Alien (1979)
Great movie that's been overhyped.
H. R. Giger carries this series visually. From the ship designs, to the monsters, everything done by him is amazing. It's a true work of art. Ridley Scott also is great at creating films that feel ahead of their time. However this is by no means a perfect 10/10 film like everyone's making it out to be.
The characters in this are mostly forgettable. Ridley just like his newer Alien movies purposefully throws a wrench into fear and logic in order to progress the plot. People tear into Prometheus and Covenant for this, but come on, a group of unarmed astronauts go explore an alien ship and purposefully examine alien eggs up close, as well as bring an alien on board, and not take any proper medical examinations to see if the man who got a face hugger on him had anything wrong with him? Hesitating to kill a creature because someone shouts not to? Climbing into a vent to kill a creature that was taller than a man, that could pull someone up into the ceiling? Not using a flamethrower but instead charging a monster because someone happened to be behind it, not moving in fear? Not checking the planet surface with a robot or any futuristic equipment that could analyse it in anyway to make sure it was safe?
I could go on, but a lot of the reasons people hate his newer work also apply to this movie. We've also got a really slow start to this before anything happens - a huge build up. I don't really mind that much, but I feel like we could have had way more scenes featuring the alien, but the start is too slow and the ending is too fast, that this isn't the case. Also I don't see the horror of this movie or why people see it as overly scary. Maybe for its time it was?
However, this movie is still great despite all this, and unlike people who hate the newer movies and love the older, I'm going to be fair in saying that while this is better, it is by no means a 10/10 while the newer movies are a 1/10 like everyone is trying to put across. It is marginally better, due to characters not being as stupid, but not that much better because it shares a lot of the same issues while not being as cinematically entertaining. Covenant is breathtaking visually, and has a true mastery to every shot, but isn't as good as this movies simple memorable premise and good actors. That's the trade-off that I've examined watching this series in chronological order.
TL;DR: good acting, simple premise/story, isn't bogged down by complexity, amazing visuals for its time, good atmosphere, created a classic series. Characters still aren't super careful or intelligent or memorable, outside of maybe two characters. It's not overly scary/horrific, at least nowadays.
Prometheus (2012)
A large setup for a sequel that doesn't stand out on its own.
This whole movie is a set up for Alien: Covenant. While it gives some insight into the first Alien movie and its visuals, and a potential explanation for the birth of the xenomorph, it doesn't really hold on its own. The movie feels very eery and atmospheric, but then loses this for silly scenes: man gets close to alien life form he knows nothing about; they take off their helmets because the air is apparently good, with no concern for other potential contaminants; crew stays behind to help ship captain for flawed reasoning; pretty much every scene with the "daughter" of Mr. Wayland, and no further elaboration on her character; the main heroine being able to walk after a major surgery; bleeping signal of Alien life form with no further lead up, as well as characters scaring themselves back towards the room they wanted to avoid in the first place.
However what Prometheus does make up for, is its amazing cinematography, visuals, CGI, and monster/ship designs. During my binge watching Alien movies these all seem to be staples of Ridley's movies. It also creates a super interesting backstory to the Alien franchise, and I think that with Covenant it succeeds on expanding its lore. Some might of liked when Alien was originally more mysterious, but it's not like the first movie didn't hint a lot of what this movie showed off.
I want to mention and or bring light to other reviewers and their nitpicks. The first Alien movie is seen as a 10/10 by most, and is praised over and over... And yet I see this movie and Covenant teared apart for things present in that original movie. Them not surveying the planet or sending out robots to test it; them going through a storm; going after rogue signals/potential of life over their current mission; curiosity or hesitation or stupidity getting people killed; allowing a sick person on board (I know Alien had a reason for this, but it's not like people weren't going to broke code if the Android didn't do it first)... Essentially all the tropes that Prometheus and Covenant have are present in the first movie. People also talk about how the new movies aren't as horrifying/scary, but I honestly haven't found a single Alien movie to be scary so far, so I don't see what others are seeing. So I just don't really buy into a lot of these nitpicks, and think people are trying their hardest to hate this more than it deserves.
Overall it's a very entertaining piece of sci-fi, and I'd argue that if this was in any other series, people would be much more accepting of it. We've gotten terrible Alien movies before, and I'd argue Prometheus isn't bad compared to those ones (Alien vs. Predator comes to mind).
AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)
Terribly corny. Bad CGI/story telling.
The character who manages to decipher the secrets of the pyramids with ease is ridiculous. It takes years to decipher a language, and he's just so happens to understand alien hieroglyphics and art, as well as how the puzzles work in a matter of hours. The whole premise/plot is over the top sci-fi, that it takes away any sense of realism or believability. It's so far outside the realm of horror or thriller, and leans heavily into absurd Hollywood action. It's campy in the worse ways. The CGI is overblown and terrible. For people hating on Covenant for having unmemorable characters, or for how it played out the origins of the aliens, this is by far way worse. I mean a pyramid and an ancient civilization that spans 100s of thousands of years, who worked together with the predators to create aliens to fight, so that the predators would have strong prey... Just stupid storytelling. Don't get me started on the main heroine becoming buddies with the predator - stupid. I can't believe they got this script and went with it.
The main things I actually enjoyed was the practical effects/puppets that weren't CGI, and the set pieces. It's entertaining to a degree, but it loses a lot of weight when it turns into mindless action for the last half of the movie.
After I had just watched The Thing, it amazes me how backwards this movie feels in cinematic production, acting, props, monster design, etc. Like how is a movie from the 1980s look overall better than this?
Worse movie in the series I've watched so far.
Alien: Covenant (2017)
Not as bad as everyone's saying.
Yes, the characters make dumb decisions, however that feels so minor compared to the artistic direction and visual treat this movie is. If you want good action, CGI, amazing visuals/cinematic, artistic creativity, and great colour grading, Alien: Covenant is top notch in all these aspects. The story itself isn't terrible, and while predictable at stages, I still enjoyed it enough to be entertained.
The characters here are scrutinised way too much. First of all the characters who got sick being taken back to the ship - that's just human nature to try save them. It's also human nature that when in an absolute state of terror and panic to shoot wildly, make dumb decisions, and ignore environmental hazards. This basically explains away most deaths. The white xenomorph getting shot and not dying as easily as the black - could be explained away with it being an evolution to the xenomorphs, a more powerful one at that. We simply lack the information to really draw conclusions about that. Ridley giving more explanations to how the aliens came to be, is not bad when you consider how many alien movies we're at now. I'm surprised he didn't do it earlier. Probably the dumbest decision was not wearing a space suit on a foreign planet - which I'll say is very dumb. I just find it hard overall to dismiss the entire movie off of this though. There are many movies where characters aren't smart and are overly curious, and many horror movies take advantage of this - it's basically a trope within itself. While this does take away from the experience, I think it's overplayed in these reviews.
Now I'd say this movie functions better as an action movie than a horror, which if you were getting into it for the horror aspects, then I can completely justifiable understand your frustration. However this isn't the first in the series to lean more into action over horror.
For me I was entertained from start to end, and taken back by the amazing visual presentation. For me that was enough to give this a decent score, and I only really started to overanalyse when reading others reviews. Which did taint my view of the movie, but seeing as I had already sat down and enjoyed it, it's hard for me to say it's terrible or even bad.
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Good zombies; terribly dumb characters. The original was better.
Compared to the original Dawn of the Dead, this movie relies heavily on characters being dumb. The girl going after her dog; the man at the end staying to defend; characters turning on others early into an apocalypse for no reason; guy revving a chainsaw while in a moving vehicle; going to help a girl who went to go save her dog; seeing a veiny infected person and not drawing any conclusions until she turns; thief getting close to his pregnant wife while he knows she's going to change, as well as killing another person to defend a zombie... I could go on.
Also instead of the long exposition the first movie had where it explains the mechanics of the zombies, it instead barely relays this information for the survivors to figure it out themselves. This is not necessarily bad, but it does make conclusions they draw to be weird, like how the black main actor says that they're going to the shopping mall because it's what they did before they died... That conclusion was only drawn in the first movie after it was understood how the zombies worked. Even stuff like the "no more room in hell" line was completely forced and lackluster compared to the original delivery. The characters here are also completely unlikeable, compared to the original where they were all developed on enough to care about them.
Even the complexities to the shopping mall layout, and how they traverse it, defend it, etc. Is not even really developed here, while the first one it felt like a whole strategic Rainbow Six Siege planned mission, and understanding of the layout.
The saving grace is good action, sped up starting sequence, and incredible zombie designs/makeup, other than that I'd say the story is much worse than the original. It's not a terrible movie, and if you didn't watch the original I'd imagine not thinking anything of it, but I'd even go as far to say the horror aspects and gore way played down by comparison here, despite this movie having that early 2000s "edginess" to it.
Overall not the worse movie I've seen, not even close, and it was at least an enjoyable watch despite all my criticisms. However I wouldn't put it anywhere near the top of the zombie movies I've watched, with Train to Busan, World War Z, the original Dawn of the Dead, 28 Days Later, Shaun of the Dead, early Walking Dead, all being much better than this.
Monstrous (2022)
Short Review - Poor Execution
Great visuals, shots, composition, and overall cinematic value. Actor Christina Ricci serves her role well. However, the concept for the movie has been done before, making the reveal feel very cheap. The child actor is just bland. The visual effects and monster look super budget by comparison to the overall camera direction. Side actors barely add anything to the script. Dialogue comes across as cheesy, especially between mother and child. The best part of the movie was the shift between fake and real with the mother picking up a smart phone. It was super well done, however it doesn't really make up for an otherwise mediocre experience. Not a terrible movie, but nothing amazing either.
Cold Creek Manor (2003)
Extremely predictable and slow
Every time something happened, you knew why or how it happened. All mystery and intrigue is out the window, and instead of a twist or something to catch you off guard, you're left with nothing.
The ending in which they managed to take down the antagonist, is very silly as well, with every opportunity to kill them, he waits. The rope is quite obviously seen as well, making it feel like a cheap death. In a lot of moments character rationale goes out the window. The main character finds his wife pushed down a hole, and instead of looking around and trying to find help, he tries to rescue her, making both of them vulnerable. The main character also talks with the antagonist on the walkie talkie before he shows up, and somehow didn't pick up on it being a man's voice instead of the female cop. The horse being dead in the pool is for some reason blamed on the dad, because he hit something with his car. Funnily enough the horse is in a stable, meaning he would of had to take the horse out, and then run it over, and put it in the middle of the pool - and yet the wife doesn't assume it's the antagonist, even after they conveniently find several snakes in the house all at once.
After I finished it I found the film to be okay, and rated it a 6, but after thinking about it, there was never a point where I was engrossed or lead astray, making this a slow, boring, and predictable film. While the direction of shots and sounds create an atmospheric horror-like ambience, I even find this to be cheap, as doors and windows are conveniently left open all the time during the night - which when you think about what's happening, is quite ridiculous.
Overall this movie offers nothing outside of being an average experience at best.
Imawa no Kuni no Arisu (2020)
Terrible pacing, good visuals, good actors, engaging premise, too anime-like to work great in live-action.
Alice in Borderland suffers from the usual manga adaptation problems, with dialogue and action coming across too similar to that of an anime, than something you'd expect from a live-action. The dialogue and characters are sometimes cheesy, with villainous laughing, huge monologues, archetypal character writing, unrealistic interactions, and the constant flashback backstories, oftentimes explaining little but offering the bare-minimum to be serviceable. In an anime a lot of the overly dramatic dialogue comes across different, and suspension of disbelief is easier, given its visual display lending to an unrealistic show to begin with. In Alice in Borderland however, it tends to come across overly silly at some points, and not in a comical way, as the show takes itself very seriously. This cringe factor would make it hard to watch this with anyone over the age of 20, despite the copious amounts of blood and gore, which obviously is not targeted at a younger audience. This makes the show sit in a very niche space to be enjoyed, and unless you're an anime fan, or a fan of Asian dramas, this might be too much for your personal enjoyment.
Outside of that, the show has a lot to like. All the different survival games are very interesting, and sometimes make you the viewer think about how you might approach the problem. The visuals are stunning, with seamless CGI and practical effects, to the point where only one characters makeup had my head turning. If you are a fan of Squid Game, Kaiji, Darwin's Game, or even Tomodachi Game or Classroom of the Elite, I think this would be right up your alley.
The biggest problem is how long the scenes are. I think it was dragged out way too much, to the point where I could even see each game turned into a 24 minute anime episode, instead of a 50-80 minute episode, sometimes even two 50+ minute episodes for one game. The pacing feels horrendous, and it was to the point where I sat there itching to do something else for a lot of dialogue scenes. Sometimes they manage to put 2-3 games into one episode, which feels great, but these games are usually not that interesting enough for an episode to begin with. Scenes where they have massive monologues, that ultimately could be condensed down to a few lines of encouragement, sometimes take over 10 minutes. Constant pauses and still shots of characters faces, it gets rather boring. I think the worse part is when a lot of scenes don't really serve the greater narrative, or any of the main characters. Scenarios that were basically solved get dragged out with unnecessary side characters filling the frame with their opinions. Deaths that were meant to be emotional or inspirational, are instead sighs of relief, as you cannot be bothered having this character fill up air time anymore.
However despite my disdain for the pacing, I think that as a show, it's entertaining. I also think the choice in actors was great, and I've definitely found some new actors to watch out for regarding film in general. The story itself is engaging, and if multiple seasons is too much for you, I think reading the manga might be the best option here, as it would address pretty much all my grievances. I'd give season 1 a 6/10, and season 2 a 7/10, mainly because I found season 2s games to be more entertaining and logical, as well as the action to be more intense and dramatic, with more memorable characters, and giving more air-time to characters I previously liked in season 1, like 'Chishiya'. With a average of 6.5/10 as my final rating, rounding up to 7 for IMDB.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
One of the dumbest movies I've ever watched
Bunch of zoomers go to gentrify a Texas town. They then proceed to get hunted down by Leatherface, after taking his home from his mama. The following scenes play out: zoomers start TikTok streaming Leatherface, saying famous lines like "you're gonna get cancelled bro", as he stands there with a chainsaw in hand, wearing the face of his mother. A sheriff who knew Leatherface talks about how "he's back", as if he's some curse. Then instead of insuring the safety of two young girls, she goes Rambo to go kill him, but instead just lets him walk past to... Create more tension? Several close kills happen as the sheriff fires at him, proceeds to get cut right down the middle, somehow still conscious and alive then distracts him again, and then he for some reason goes into hiding, leaving the girl to have a 1 on 1 talk with the sheriff, where the sheriff says, "he will haunt you", and the young girl decides to then go Rambo. The young girls sister somehow dislodges a metal rod from her leg, and escapes a car; her sister at the same time gets dunked in the water by a 8 foot behemoth of a man, and Leatherface somehow loses her, then the car girl jumps on Leatherface's back to distract again... It's getting tiring at this point... The girl is about to die, the other girl distracts with a gun shot to save car girl, car girl then gets the chainsaw and slices him up the chin. They both escape in a self-driving car, and as it self-drives away they somehow manage to crack jokes and drive into the sunset, right before Leatherface drags one girl out of the car and slices her head off, with the other self-driving away, screaming.
New age zoomer culture meets a classic. I don't know how anyone can sit down with a script and say to themselves, "TikTok, zoomers, gentrification, racist southerners, self-driving cars, and a serial killer", yeah this sounds great. It felt like a parody, like the "Scary Movie" series, but sadly not funny, nor even tried to be.
I can't wait for the sequel to have Leatherface become LGBTQIA+ and cancel the girl for using a gun, preaching that guns are bad and America has a gun problem.
El hoyo (2019)
Open-ended, anti-capitalist, but not necessarily pro-communist
The interpretation of the film could be said that it is an allegory for a capitalistic society, one that does not benefit those below, but greatly benefits those above. Showing the "contestants" both sides of this situation. At one point the film suggest a communist ideal through one of the female leads, but as you realise that there are more than 200 floors, you realise that there is not enough food for everyone. The main character therefore thinks that there is 250 due to counting the seconds it goes down, but this backfires as they realise that it doesn't stop on floors where nobody is alive. There are 333 in fact, with 2 people on each floor, that's 666 people, symbolism for the devil. We live in Satan's world, and the fight for equality comes with its own struggles, those struggles we can see depicted in this film, but also in the communistic societies that attempted it. In reality there is no easy solution to world hunger or many the problems that plague society, and through the "hero" of this story we realise that while there may be a glimmer of hope, it is only until we descend into hell that we may find it.
Despite some inconsistencies within the film, I think that the premise and execution is creative and thought-provoking.
The Umbrella Academy (2019)
Mediocre but still entertaining
I don't know whether to give this a 6 or a 7, and as of writing this I haven't had the time to fully digest what I've watched, but as to remain fresh on how I feel and what I'm thinking I'll write this now.
The Umbrella Academy takes a huge detour in many ways from the comics. Characters races changed, characters are added to fuel a LGBTQ+ narrative, and many elements of the characters powers are also changed. While I am not fully against changing elements of a series to make it more digestible - famous example being 'The Shining' - I do think that making characters unrecognisable to be flawed in nature. In the modern years I find it hard to see why we need to change the race or sexuality of characters, especially when it completely alienates those who were fans of the original works. We are working towards making race not a factor and yet producers are obsessed with removing white characters from film. Weirdly enough this is the same thing that people would get mad at old producers for, but with making other races white. Those characters might as well not be "those characters" if you are to change a massive part of how we perceive them. I mean The Rumour doesn't even have purple hair, let alone being made dark skin.
Outside of politics, is the show good? I mean it's entertaining, I'll give it that, but I wouldn't say it's good. My enjoyment ranged from an 8 to a 5 and I feel like this show appropriately deserves a 6 for taking what could of been an amazing show and ham-fisting it with mediocrity.
What do I mean by this? Well Luther is a complete meat head. Klaus is unapologetically a stereotype that goes from druggy that we care about to full on 1960s-guru-cult leader... Which wasn't in the comics. Vanya is extremely flippant, and yes I know she goes off her medication, but I still think her whole charade is a bit ridiculous and isn't built up well. Ben is emotional dormant until he isn't. The main issue with a lot of the cast is that it feels like they're written to be jokes/comically bad characters, despite the circumstances never fitting that. Oh the worlds gonna end? Let's say screw it and not care! Even though priority wise that makes 0 sense (this happens constantly throughout the whole show). Diego suddenly becomes a conspiracy nut? After a year in 1960s? Oh yeah sure, makes perfect sense! Number 5 farts and fights himself due to paradoxical-induced paranoia... Like if it's going to be a comedy, at least make it written like one, because to me none of this was funny, and to be honest I was constantly annoyed.
What does the show do well? I mean it's entertaining, and most of the time when the scripts not getting in the way the actors do an amazing job. The plots at least somewhat interesting, but you kinda have to look past the characters being unapologetically stupid. The worlds gonna end due to some random guy that has a relationship with the one character in the family that they assume doesn't have powers even though she was born the same way... Also she was told to believe she was ordinary by Alison, while she was in a big metal-sound-proof vault... And no one could piece together how the whole world ended in a few days... Not even Number 5, one of the smartest and oldest members, who btw only just pieced together "how would dad know about the end of the world before it happened" after thinking for a long time in his room. I don't even want to start thinking about the time travel plot holes. I mean one thing I could easily think about is how Number 5 meets his younger (older looking) self and then Luther tells him about how the world ends and yet that doesn't change older Number 5, or doesn't change the events that lead up until season 2.
Then you have a lady who was shot in the head, blown up, and yet look impressively intact. A hit man who was told to kill his own brother and then leaves the premises without trying to kill Alison who made him do it... Instead he goes home and 'Jimmy Neutron' brain blast realises he's been used. The Committee had no body guards when 5 went to go kill them. I am 1 episode away from finishing the show but I assume there is still no explanation for Hazel teleporting with his girlfriend. How did their dad know all of them and request a letter to all of them in 1963? I am sure only 5, Diego, and Luther came into contact with him prior.
I am sure I could keep digging deeper to ruin this show more for myself. I actually enjoyed most of season 1, but it just seems to get progressively more and more stupid. Turns out I'm able to stomach stupid more than I thought.
Black Summer (2019)
Often times feels nonsensical
The amount of doors not closed, the kids running a killer school, randomly killing a guy at a party - turning everyone, everyone seemingly knowing how to use guns... It just often times feels unreal, nonsensical. Paired with unnecessarily long-winded scenes and you have yourself a slow mediocre show.
Sadly the acting is great in places, the cinematography - long one-shot scenes - is great, and outside of the nonsensical parts it is shot in a way that feels very real. Sadly the positives don't fully out way the negatives.
Bird Box (2018)
Concept is good
While the concept is good, the execution wasn't as great as it needed to be.
"Bird Box" would of benefited from more of a darker/scarier tone. The people who got converted to the darkness juxtaposed with the acting of some of the cast... It didn't have the same horror aspects or seriousness that a film like "A Quiet Place" had. Both films share the unknown threat that slowly gets revealed throughout the film, and both films monsters are based on senses. Bird Box in comparison felt lacking. The cast of characters, the possessed people, it made it more Hollywood than it needed to be. A unknown threat within itself is scary, people possessed by it are not. I wish the film stuck to the psychological state of people in a scenario like this, created more problems based on human nature, and put more emphasis on the river ride.
I feel like the movie would of benefitted from being a series, or maybe having an extra 30 minutes screen time to flesh itself out more. "Jungle", another film that features a river ride, made itself a lot more terrifying and dangerous, and made the impact and lead up to the rapids section much more ominous. Bird Box would of benefitted greatly from a build up like this.
I also have a few pet peeves. Mainly the dynamic between the female lead and the kids. Calling the kids Boy and Girl, despite the circumstances, despite the female leads relationships/feelings towards having kids, is just nonsensical and silly. Also the guys drawings of the monsters, a threat you can't or don't ever see, and spreading them out on a table... Why? The lady handing over her baby before jumping out the window? Small things like this really put a stain on an otherwise good story. Also having a character defining background wasn't necessary, at least to the length they did it. Showing the art, her getting a scan... All this is screen time that could of been used to build up the situation itself, which was far more important than the female lead in my opinion.
Overall a good concept with rough execution.
The Big Lebowski (1998)
A movie for stoners
And I'm not a stoner.
I personally just don't vibe with this movie. I wouldn't say it was utter trash, it had a level of wit to it, but a lot of the jokes just slid right off me. I don't hate it completely, and I understand it's targeted at a very certain audience and that happens to not be me. The film is quotable, it has a memorable soundtrack, and redeeming cinematic quality, but it just feels dull. I genuinely feel like I have to be high to enjoy this.
The story was purposefully disjointed and all over the place, the characters were purposefully boring/unlikable, the dynamics and situations were purposefully stupid... and while all of that may make sense for a comedy, when you aren't laughing all the off-putting elements just become, well, off-putting.
Contagion (2011)
Scarily similar to COVID-19
I can see why this was a point of contention at the time of the outbreak, as it seems to be almost a predictive movie. Obviously we can see that there were many cases of Coronavirus before 2019, different strands, so obviously I wouldn't be too conspiracy theorist on this one, but it's interesting nonetheless.
As a movie? It was quite boring. Maybe if I had watched it before COVID-19 it may have been more interesting, but in reality once you've lived through a pandemic this movie is a lot less exciting. I didn't care much for the characters either. Overall not that interesting, don't think I'd ever bother to watch again.
Jack Reacher (2012)
Fun forgettable action
Nothing particularly stands out about 'Jack Reacher', but it is enjoyable.
Overall Jack Reacher is a forgettable movie; generic action. From the random intentional fist fight with the enemy, to the one eye dramatised villain - it comes across as a bit silly. The well-placed rocks that shield Jack from enemy fire, the memory trick he does, him knowing the exact second his birthday was going to hit... It's overblown, but the story is still well served, enough to make it a film I don't hate.
Dark Shadows (2012)
I'm part Werewolf, okay?
The fantastical worlds of Tim Burton are always fascinating, but this one lacks any depth. The story is simple, a revenge love story, but with the lack of care in eloquently delivering such a simple tale, instead it convolutes itself with ridiculous over-the-top Hollywood mayhem.
The story starts off dramatic but quaint. It draws in intrigue but doesn't overwhelm the audience. The late-1700s aesthetic is rich, and taking that into a more modernised late 1900s makes for an interesting juxtaposition and a humorous one at that. This area despite being fun is boiled down and made more of a gag than a running or underlining theme in the film, which I think is a shame.
The problem doesn't lie with the plot, the setting, or the start of the film, but sadly in the finale. A finale in a film like this was always going to be a spectacle, it is something you expect, but the over-the-top modern approach really ruins it. This film doesn't necessarily strike me as a kids film with the overt sexual nonsense that displays constantly throughout. Despite this it has a clear targeting towards kids towards the end as it turns into a Scooby-Doo esque charade. I don't necessarily dislike kids media and find myself rather amused by 'Adventure Time' and other shows like it, but the key difference here is that this movie mistakes drivel for kids entertainment. Kids entertainment can be witty, random, spontaneous and flexible, but as soon as you try please an adult with the "cool factor" of a female werewolf proclaiming she is a werewolf in some Hollywood dramaticism - you are disconnected from your target audience. At least with cartoons this silly writing could pass, as we see with shows like 'Rick and Morty' and 'Bojack Horsemen' be wide success among a adult dominated audience, but in live action it comes across as disjointed, uncanny, wrong.
I may come across as rather dramatic and central focused in this review, but I think scenes like this paint a picture for the level of quality that Tim Burton tried to achieve with this film. I am tired of senseless sexualisation and long-spanning camera shots of mass produced one-liners, and this film is filled to the brim with both.
The saving grace is that Johnny Depp is a great actor.
Luke Cage (2016)
Slow, boring, Hollywood.
I couldn't even get through the first season of "Luke Cage" without getting bored. It's slow, overdramatised, and typical cheesy Hollywood.
Scenes dragged out just for the "cool" effect. It's not sharp, snappy, or as dynamically evolving as 'The Punisher' or even 'Daredevil', two really popular Marvel series set in the same universe. While it is more grounded than the ridiculousness that was 'Iron Fist', it doesn't have the same pace as Iron Fist. Iron Fist may have been a let down for most as an over-the-top narrative piece, with a lot of weak connections and characters that would change like a flip of a dime, but it was at least entertaining. I can't say the same for Luke Cage.
While it started off quite good, the ridiculous police conspiracy and the silly 'Fast and the Furious' Hollywood villain acts pulled me out of any reality that it tried to create. The problem with a lot of Marvel Netflix shows is that half the time I don't know whether I am watching a kids movie or a r18 movie. This senseless need to please the wider audience often takes away from any seriousness that is created; zany one-liners and long-drawn-out-dramatic camera scenes mixed in with a lot of overblown action scenes of people flying around like rag dolls... Next.
Iron Fist (2017)
Just really dumb
This show takes itself way too seriously. The premise itself is absurd and would of made for a good one-off, but instead hurts itself with over-the-top nonsensical pot devices alongside a tone that expects you to spit in the face of disbelief.
Danny Rand is a boy who went missing in a plane crash. Luckily he ended up in New York 15 years later knowing fluent Chinese and a mastery of Kung Fu. The best part is he owns 51% shares to a corporation known as Rand, a corporation worth billions. This premise is amusing. On the teachings of Buddha, a man who had everything and only found meaning through having nothing, Danny Rand finds himself with billions of dollars but no care for materialistic life and the value of his business, but instead wants answers and the company of his childhood friends.
This is stupid, but stupidly funny. It's like watching an Adam Sandler film: you know it's going to dumb, but it's funny nonetheless. Sadly it has to tie in this whole plot of this evil corporation that has infiltrated his business called "The Hand", a sworn enemy of the Iron Fist. Something about Marvels constant addition of Asian cultures throws me off. I don't know whether it's the way they do it, or just seeing ancient Japanese/Chinese warriors in a place like New York. Either way it's jarring and the strong Asian accents or even lack of accent on a lot of the Asian cast speaking English threw me off. This juxtaposed next to the convoluted plot that takes like 12 hours to conclude, only to extend past the wrap up of season 1 and flip character progression on its head, it's rather frustrating.
The choreography was awful, and at times I found myself watching a character swing at mid air with no real intended connection of his fist to the enemy. I don't know whether this is Kung Fu, but to me it just looked like poor execution, and often times the characters doing it would get their asses kicked. The acting felt off. Asian characters felt like they were stereotyping Asians - they lacked the bombastic nature found in Asian culture, and instead only fitted into the stoic mystifying nature. There are scenes where there is quite literally a drunken style meme, but it is made serious. Worst of all the plot twist of the show made the first half feel utterly confusing. Usually shows that set up a twist like this have a level of foreshadowing to it, but it just felt like characters changed in a instant. Davos by the end was just annoying. Instead of just getting mad and going back to Heaven, he decides to contact Danny's cousin with the intention of killing him... Which makes 0 sense.
Overall while the show delivered as an entertaining action, the disconnected revelations, the ending of season 1, and the overall ridiculous nature of this shows plot just left a poor taste in my mouth. Great start, it should of just been a one-off comedy like Shazam or Dead Pool. As much as I suspended my disbelief, I could never take this show seriously. Next to the The Punisher, a massive Marvel hit series that had amazing actors and a more grounded to reality setting, with a plot that felt complicated but made sense logically, it is disappointing that this show didn't get the same love.
Seuwiteuhom (2020)
Fun but utterly garbage
I would rate this lower, but it was at least a fun show to watch. Sweet Home is a Netflix series based on the famous Webtoon 'Sweet Home'. Now I haven't finished reading the Webtoon, but from what I have read it is much better than this. From the same creator as 'Bastard', one of my favourite Web series, it's hard to see his work being vandalised with this "bastardised" live adaptation.
Now it isn't all bad, the show is at least fun and creative. The start of the show was good for the most part, but already from the start the monsters looked a bit silly, and the acting was oddly overdone. Then we start to see a bit of divergence in storytelling compared to its source material; while not always a bad thing, with The Shining being one of my favourite movies - which diverged so much from the book, this is another good example of "if it isn't broke, don't fix it". The show introduces monsters with barely any explanation of their backstories or the reason they are the way they are. This is annoying as the manhwa clearly illustrates each character and monster and their purpose and reasoning for existing. This gets you invested and explains the weirdness of what's going on. While they do this with some monsters, some of the weirder ones like the charger from "Left4Dead 2" who always says "protein" or the Usain Bolt zombie having 0 explanation coke across as the dumbest designs in the whole show, despite being the most intensely interesting ones in the book.
It doesn't help not explaining things, but it gets worse with how disjointed scenes are. I genuinely felt like I was accidentally skipping episodes with how shitty the overall pacing, where you have one character being chased down being spliced next to him being safe. It leaves me more confused than I need to be. What's worse is that they also fill in the rushed pacing with blank stares and drawn out scenes that in the manhwa existed for a page usually. There are some key moments in the book that were handled so well because of the tension created, but in the Netflix adaptation scenes would be spliced with non-essential scenes that would completely break up the flow and tension.
The overall feeling of emptiness, tension, sadness, horror that was created by the book is completely ruined by the over-dramatic acting and the poorly slapped on "Imagine Dragons Warriors" song that wouldn't stop playing. With scenes dragged out, dumb looking monsters, disjointed script writing, and what felt like a completely different story being screwed onto the ending, I can't see why you'd want to waste your time with this. It's fun, but in the mindless-bed-ridden-mood kinda way.