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johnlorz
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Goliath (2016)
Can someone provide a GoFundMe link?
I'd like to contribute to the lightbulb fund because it's like staring into a cave while mimes draw circles with black paint. I'd live to see some faces once on a while just to know who the actors are.
24 Hours to Live (2017)
So much better than KATE.
This deserves a sequel because of the story and the actors. It left enough unanswered questions that I would absolutely enjoy watching what happens next. It's a great plot and has interesting story-telling around both Hawke and Qing. Great moviemaking!
Kate (2021)
Just like "24 Hours to Live" but not as good.
First of all, these betrayed-by-my-team plots are less satisfying (and unsurprising) than just having the bad guys *almost* beat the good guy/woman (in this case.) If you're surprised after 4 minutes into this that V (Woody) betrays her, then you haven't watched many spy shows...like Bourne.
But 24 Hours to Live at least had some fascinating back-and-forth between Hawke as a bad guy assassin and how the plot developed/resolved around his opponent Qing Xu.
This movie wasn't subtle at all about how Kate just killed everyone up to and including Harrelson. But if you compare 24 Hours to Live and Kate you'll basically see the same carnage in the final 20 minutes.
It was just too predictable to be very interesting, IMHO. But I highly recommend 24 Hours to Live and also that the studio make a sequel...which they won't, I'm sure.
Clickbait (2021)
The big reveal.
Kermit the Frog did it!
Might as well have, since they picked a random, non-essential, practically unknown perpetrator without motive, opportunity or ... well ... any reason at all to have dunnit.
Grabbing a character completely out of the blue to become the focus in the last episode makes the whole plot kind of silly. I asked myself, "Why not have it be the Terminator or the gas station attendant from Narcos?"
It would have been just as meaningful as the invisible criminal they exposed at the end. And I would have cared more for the family than who they puked up as a "surprise!"
Pathetic.
Greenland (2020)
30 minutes was all I could take
Unbelievably bad writing from start to finish. I glad I didn't buy it. As soon as the first fragment hit the ground the roads would have been impassable. If the gvt was organized enough to alert key people to evacuate then the kid's insulin wouldn't have been a problem!
Crappy, unbelievable writing and directing made it impossible to enjoy these peoples' deaths.
The Boys: Good for the Soul (2019)
"The truth is: nobody knows."
"Nobody knows if there's a god."
Just like, "Nobody knows if there are leprechauns."
Those are EXACTLY the same claims. You aren't going to make peace between religious imbeciles until all religion is treated like the mental-illness that it is.
Or are you prepared to have integrity in your ridiculous religious beliefs and claim to be "leprechaun agnostic," too?
Queen of the South (2016)
I'm torn. The episode writing is pretty good...
...but the main plot thread is stupid.
All the garbage with Camila and Epifano is nonsense. It isn't reasonable at all that she would be so naive to be dependant on him while they're both backstabbing each other.
I mean, both would be incredibly stupid in a business that is fraught with guns and betrayals to keep pretending they're in some alliance and for Camila to just doodle along like she's got it all handled when every episode proves her to be a moron and easily trapped by him.
If he was so opposed to her moving to Texas she'd have gotten a bullet rather than him toy with her.
That's not a plot; it's an insane asylum.
Alien: Covenant (2017)
Stupid script second only to a brain-dead, moronic, worthless plot
John Logan and Dante Harper are probably the worst writers ever born. I hope they were paid in large bags of feces for their work because anything more than that proves the studio execs who decided to fund this pile of crap are imbeciles.
GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY AND THE 122 MINUTES OF MY LIFE YOU STOLE, YOU EMPTY-HEADED THIEVES!
The Last Days on Mars (2013)
"Seasoned" astronauts behave like tens in "Scary Movie"
How does a Hollywood studio decide to invest millions in a puerile script and melodramatic actors?
I've got a script about slugs that chase me while I'm mowing.lawn. Who at Universal wants to pay me a million dollars for it? It's at least as good as this trash.
Prometheus (2012)
The movie's pretty good but the incessant religious trash is distracting and nauseating
There isn't any need for Shaw to keep her idiotic obsession with crosses and dumbass faith. "I choose to believe" is the Christian's admission of stupidity.
Space flicks should avoid including anything religious except to ridicule the believers and their stupidity.
Unidentified: Inside America's UFO Investigation (2019)
Garbage
The idea that UFOs hide from us and are only seen by an alien flub is like believing there is a god who hides from us because it demands we have faith without proof.
While it would be ridiculous to think that life on Earth is the only life in the universe it's brain-dead ridiculous to believe in a the Star Trek "Prime Directive" when it comes to aliens.
We don't have aliens visiting us because there is no conceivable reason for them to hide their existence. The only plausible reason that they don't visit is because we are a tiny speck of dust and they don't have the tech to get here.
Grow up you ignorant rotor-heads !
Upgrade (2018)
I was surprised by this piece of trash...
...that ANYONE liked it!
The writing was atrocious! Just one "spoiler" in this stinker of a waste of time: as the hero is running from a cop who is more interested in chasing him than the guys who murdered his wife and left him a quadriplegic, his implant "Stem" - who has murdered and bested assassins with guns implanted in their arms - says to the hero "You're going to have to drive and get away from her (the cop.)"
That is just stupid, lazy, moronic, idiotic writing.
I hate lazy, crappy shows and Hollywood should be driven out of business for releasing that kind of garbage!
Babylon Berlin (2017)
Spoiler: terrible writing
I can't believe how lazy the suicide of Koenig was. Are you freaking kidding me? Bruch gets his gun back immediately before interrogating Koenig and then Koenig kills himself with it? It's that kind of nauseating, lazy, stupid writing that makes these empty-dramas so annoying. Give us a plot that doesn't include stupid, lazy tricks.
Annihilation (2018)
Torturously schizophrenic
The "team" enters the shimmer, loses several days without any further explanation - EVER! - gets attacked by an orca-sized gator with shark teeth and then cheerily takes a boat ride (????), finds a guy who has been dissected in a swimming pool and then has his dissected body plastered to the walls of the pool (?????).
Watching Annihilation is like sitting in your flower garden, dropping acid and then watching the snails, squirrels and flowers morph into various species.
The only difference is that acid only lasts 10 hours or so; Annihilation will destroy your brain forever.
Enjoy!
Jack Ryan (2018)
Not Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan
I was excited to see how this character would be developed but I got the distinct feeling that the writers were only vaguely familiar with the Jack Ryan of the great Clancy novels.
I shook my head in disbelief when he assaulted the Turkish criminal/pimp who was helping them find Hanin. Clancy's Ryan wouldn't jeopardize finding Hanin so he could kick the crap out of the pimp. He might go back after the primary mission was achieved and free the prostitutes but it was stupid to have him do it before Hanin was found. The guide could have shot them both in the head and just walked off.
In the Second season the car ambush was just a crappy redo of the heart-pounding ambush in Clear and Present Danger. It was goofy, poorly done and so close to the move that it was insulting.
Phony derivative drama is just disappointing when there is so much great potential in this character.