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Reviews
The Sum of All Fears (2002)
Bad, bad, BAD!
I can think of a few adjectives to describe this movie, clichéed and predictable particularly come to mind. The movie starts out normally enough, with a decent setup for the climax. Nothing spectacular, but nothing bad either. However, as it moved into the heavy action the plot became rather trite.
Cliché #1: The young upstart with great potential but no experience (Ben Affleck as Jack Ryan) who is right about everything, but the old guard (James Cromwell as President Fowler and his advisors) refuses to listen to him. Cliché #2: The car that won't start. As Jack Ryan is rushing to get to a site where he can get further information, he swerves to avoid a fire truck and crashes. After a quick message session on his palm pilot, he tries to restart the truck and it fails. It was this moment that spoiled the movie for me. "The car that won't start" has been used so many times it's sickening. I expected better. Cliché #3: The crisis is resolved with less than 30 seconds until total disaster. I'll avoid detail there so I don't spoil the ending -- not that there's much to spoil -- but we've all seen this scenario plenty of times before.
The special effects were good, as was the acting, but I wouldn't expect an Oscar for any of it. The plot was decent, but I got more and more frustrated as I watched, because it was a constant state of escalation. It was a movie in which you feel the need to scream at the screen, yelling "NO, NO, NO!" This movie is worth watching, however be sure to rent, not buy.
5 out of 10
Highway (2002)
Mediocrity
Coming in to this movie there are some things that you'd expect, and then there's what you really get. The Plot Outline says: "A story about two friends who travel cross country to attend a vigil for Kurt Cobain." Cobain's death actually is just a backdrop for the movie. The character of Jack is mostly interested in escaping the henchmen of a man whose wife he had sex with, and the character of Pilot is looking for the girl who is the only person he has connected with through his apparent sexual confusion.
According to Imdb this movie is rated R for "Rated R for strong sexuality, drug content, violence and language." The sexuality isn't really all that strong, and I can only recall one brief scene of nudity. The drug content is pervasive use of marijuana and some alcohol. For the most part everybody just acts stupidly. There is a fair amount of violence, but nobody dies. The language is like the violence - it's in there but nothing to get in a snit over. The acting was fair and the plot was mediocre. The movie wasn't a waste of time, but I wouldn't put any effort into seeing it again.
5 out of 10
Jeepers Creepers (2001)
A new addition to a clichéd genre.
I saw the review on the main page for this movie claiming that Jeepers Creepers had a great script, and that the movie was full of surprises. I couldn't disagree more.
As I was watching the film I knew that I had to review it here because it was so bad. In fact I had so many complaints that I grabbed a notebook and pencil. Regrettably, I think I still missed numerous flaws in the movie, but this will have to do. In order to review this as well as possible, I'm going to have to give away some SPOILERS, but I won't tell you everything (as though you couldn't guess it anyway.)
The lead-in to the movie is a brother and sister on a road trip home. I'm thankful for their relationship as it is, because at least we avoided the "evil monster killing the couple after they have sex" bit. Unfortunately, we weren't able to escape the "faceless driver in a speedy vehicle" that has been done numerous times over. And, of course, the truck appears to be a dilapidated rust-bucket, but it can still go faster than anything else on the road. After being rammed by it a few times, Trish (Gina Phillips) and Darry (Justin Long) see the truck shortly afterwards on the side of the road, the yet faceless drive shoving a body-shaped object down a pipe. Rather than report the suspicious behavior, they have to go inspect the scene after being totally run off the road by "The Creeper."
This is where the clichés start to overwhelm the viewer. Firstly, there is the overly-curious brother who just has to get a closer look at everything, and that includes him having his sister hold his legs while he crawls down the pipe a bit. Naturally he falls in (of course!) but not before his sister tells him that he's acting like a person in a Scary Movie, doing something stupid. Speaking for myself, I'm tired of actors in scary movies commenting to each other how their behavior is just like people in scary movies. Scream and Scary Movie parodied it enough, let it be!
Darry sees some things down in the cellar of the Church he's under, and they're naturally so disturbing that he's shocked into silence for the next few scenes. Although his terror is over the top, let me just say "thank God" that I didn't have to listen to anymore sappy dialogue during that time. Darry and his dear sis Trish finally come to a Diner where the local yokels stare at them as the new curiosity of the moment. Trish pleads with the waitress to call the police, but instead of saying "we think there has been a murder" which would get her to the phone right away she has to be mysterious and unrevealing saying "please" more than once and merely alluding to some distress.
Enter the requisite sage. While waiting for the waitress to call the cops, the payphone next to Darry and Trish starts ringing. They have to stare blankly at it for 5 or 6 rings and be asked "are you going to get that" by a patron before picking it up, because otherwise we the audience might not feel their sense of discontent and apprehension. Just answer the damn phone!! On the other end is the sage. In keeping with tradition we don't see her face, but it is a woman and she's a minority as suggested by the American Indian Dream Catcher. She's also probably a bit overweight - later confirmed when we actually see her - but in order to maintain whatever suspense he can get, director Victor Salva leaves her somewhat anonymous for this scene. Although she is the Woman With The Answers, her character again holds to cinematic tradition by speaking in a manner that reveals NOTHING to the audience or the characters: simply put she talks as though everyone knows what's going on.
The action by this point isn't really action. It's moments of suspenseful pauses and pointless dialogue and it doesn't get much better later in the movie. There is also the ceaseless yelling which seems to be unavoidable in today's movies - if someone isn't screaming or whispering they're probably not saying anything important, right? The next cliché I'll mention is the Car That Won't Start. It pops up at least twice in this movie, augmented by a poor transmission that always seems to jam up when it's needed the most. How un-surprising.
I've got a few more points to cover, but I'll spare you them all and cut to "The Creeper." I don't think you'll be surprised to learn that it's not human. Given that premise, you're forced as a viewer to accept whatever model of monster the writer gives you, and this one happens to be something that is biologically impossible by any earthly standards. In order to breathe, the Creeper eats human lungs. Nothing in nature works that way (at least on a level as complex as human physiology) so now the monster has to either be magical or unworldly. To me, that strips whatever credibility the movie had left. Leave the aliens to Star Wars, and the magic to Lord of the Rings. Please.
There's so much more that I want to tear into, but I fear that this review has become long enough. I'll leave you with my rating: 2 out of 10, and I was considering dropping it to 1 of 10.
Jurassic Park III (2001)
As good as the original
Although many sequels fall short of excitement of the movies that spawned them, Jurassic Park III is as thrilling as the original.
At first glance the Kirbys (Téa Leoni and William Macy) seem to play the requisite Stupid Couple whose adventurous spirit is responsible for the plight of the entire plane, which is stranded on Isla Sorna - the second dinosaur island. It turns out that they are really no longer married, but desperate to find their son Eric and the man he was with, Ben Hildebrand, Mrs. Kirby's new love interest. In the opening scene Ben and Eric are taking an illegal parasailing tour of the island, when the pilots of the boat disappear in the fog. Ben and Eric, of course, get stranded on the island and require rescuing.
JP3 brings back some of the cast from the original movie, and I was glad to see returning performances from Sam Neill (Alan Grant) and Laura Dern, (Ellie Degler) although "Ellie's" role is little more than a bit part. The sardonically humorous Jeff Goldblum (as Ian Malcolm) is missing, as is Richard Attenborough (as the park's conceptionist John Hammond) but they were included in JP2.
These performances combine to tell the tale of a family and its guides who must constantly evade a large, unexpected predator as well as a persistent pack of raptors which seem unusually bent on catching the party. The third group of dinosaur enemies comes from the air, as for the first time the reptiles take wing in Jurassic Park.
Overall this isn't a film that I'd expect to sweep the Oscars, but it is worth viewing a few times. I rated it 8 of 10.
Pootie Tang (2001)
Waste of my time
I saw "Pootie Tang" for free on my University's movie channel, and even though it was free I STILL want a refund. I was seriously considering shutting the stupid thing off less than halfway through it, but then I decided to suffer long enough to be able to write a deserving, scathing review.
First of all, I'm not a Chris Rock fan. When I was younger I thought he was funny, but later on I realized that he really isn't. Seriously, none of his movies have been all that humorous.
Secondly, I can't for the life of me figure out what genre this movie is in. Is it a drama? Not really, it's too satirical for that. So is it a Satire? No, it tries to be too serious for that. Is it a plain comedy? Well, if that's the case it is a rather disappointing one.
Pootie Tang is the title character. But beyond that, I don't know what he is. This film starts with him doing an interview about a movie that he's putting out. And for the most part, the Real Movie is "the clip" shown in the interview. That leaves you all but totally unable to figure out what's really going on. Is Pootie a crime fighter, or is that just in the interview movie? Does he really have a "magic belt" or is that just in the interview movie? Regardless, he IS still a moron that doesn't make any sense at all. One of the running attempts at humor is that Pootie speaks so much meaningless jive that nobody can comprehend him, although the actors seem to be able to somehow get his meaning. Trust me, it's not funny.
The characters other than Pootie are also totally unbelieveable. The gangster who can't stand to not be dirty. As in literally dirty; covered in mud. Riiiiiggghhht... And Pootie's father who constantly whips his son or anyone else with his belt to get them to do whatever it is that he wants. (He later bestows the belt to Pootie.) But the lashings never leave a mark, and when Pootie is a boy he never cries after he's been hit - it just got his attention. Sure. Ask a friend to whip you with a leather belt sometime - even just lightly. Go ahead, I dare you. Or the sheriff who threatens to shoot people if they don't marry his daughter. Or any other poorly written character stuck in a badly written plot: they're all bad.
There's no music score to speak of, no special effects to amaze you, no storyline to impress you, and no morals to teach you anything. It's like a porno without the nudity. I feel dumber for having watched it. Save yourself the time, and save yourself the money - avoid this movie.
Starship Troopers (1997)
Really good Sci-Fi flick
I rated this one 9 of 10 stars.
For starters, I really liked the soundtrack to this movie. The orchestration is great, and does an excellent job of setting the mood. You see this most notably during the big dropship scene precluding the first human invasion.
The premise isn't overly realistic - a "bug planet" inhabited by ornery insects has used biological plasma blasts to launch asteriods at earth, killing millions. But this is Sci-Fi, and if Star Trek can have Klingons, and Star Wars can have Jawas, then Starship Troopers can have bugs.
The second reason I really like this movie is that it, along with "Aliens" are heavy influences on a favorite video game of mine, "Starcraft." I highly recommend both movies, and the game as well.
The lead roles are those of Johnny Rico (Casper Van Dien,) Carmen Ibanez (Denise Richards,) and Carl Jenkins (Neil Patrick Harris,) along with supporting roles; Dizzy Flores (Dina Meyer,) and Ace Levy (Jake Busey.) Rico, Carmen, and Carl are friends from Buenos Aires who all join up with different branches of the military. Rico enlists with the Mobile Infantry who are analagous to the US Marines - ground troopers who are the first in and the last out. Carmen works towards becoming a pilot in the Federation Fleet, while Carl who has innate psychic ability joins the "Games and Theory" division, which is Military Intelligence.
The main focus is on Rico and his enrollment in the "Roughnecks," along with Ace and Dizzy (who is also from Buenos Aires.) The ensuing battles are bloody, the explosions are big, and the bug-guts are messy. The overall special effects were done wonderfully, and it lent a sense of devastating realism to the movie without making it too flashy and gory.
If you like any of the other Man vs. Alien movies (Aliens, Predator, Terminator, etc...) you should give "Starship Troopers" a look.
Set It Off (1996)
Surprisingly good
My first impression was "Gangsta flick with chicks." And, to some extent, that's what I got. But there was a lot more, and I was deeply impressed with the realism, with one exception. The exception comes near the end and I won't give it away, but it involves police officers taking shots at a suspect with a bus full of people in the background.
One of the recurring themes of this film is how innocence and good intentions can turn into a nightmarish reality.
A bank teller is confronted by a robber that she knows from childhood. She can hardly believe what is happening, and she doesn't react in the manner in which all bank tellers are trained. A hostage dies, and she loses her job. A slow reaction leads to a death, accusations, and the loss employment.
A bright young man gets a haircut that is identical to a robbery suspect's. The police surround him. He has a champagne bottle in his coat that he doesn't want to break and tries to pull it out. They think it is a gun. An innocent mistake leads to a death.
A loving mother can no longer afford a babysitter. She has to bring her child to work, and he gets into some cleaning supplies. A mother's good intention turns into a hospital trip and a custody battle.
There were other instances where one mistake led to dire consequences, but I found them all believable, and none of them gave me the impression of being mere vehicles to advance the plot.
I enjoyed some of the other representations of Life as it is. One being the inclusion of a lesbian (Latifa) in the cast without making a big deal out of it. Although exhibiting some stereotypical lesbian traits (denim overalls for example,) she wasn't overly "butch." And homosexuality wasn't used as a plot device to include nudity either. Speaking of which, the sex in the movie was pretty well done. When there was love, the sex was passionate. When Stony was doing it for money, she looked ready to burst into tears. For the most part, the sex came without nudity: disappointing in some ways, but adding credibility to the movie in others.
I did have a few problems with this movie. One is a failing that I see in many movies. When a character's friend or family member is killed, he or she expresses initial shock and pain, but later on exhibits no outward mental stress. There is also the "I would have done it differently" factor. I felt this a few times, the first being the opening scene where Frankie (Fox) is being held up. Or when Cleo (Latifa) is stealing get away cars and tossing the previous owner's CDs out the window. Both of these are cases in which one needs to move fast and do what is needed to move on. You don't have time to stare blankly at your old friend. You don't have time to select the proper driving ambience. But these flaws didn't take too much from the general feeling.
I rated it 8 of 10.
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
One of the best ever
I have a rather small film collection, but "The Shawshank Redemption" is one of the movies that is a part of it. This film is done beautifully, from the soundtrack to the acting. I'm no film critic, so I'll leave the in-depth reviews to those who are more capable, but I will say that if you haven't seen this film, make the trip to the video store.
I give it a 10.