Reviews

Your typical teen-aged horror flick follows the same formula:

1. A murder occurs at some location many years ago.

2. Next, we move to the present time where a bunch of oversexed teenagers whose sex drives are inversely proportional to their intelligence, decide to party at that same location.

3. One by one, the teenagers meets a violent death.

4. The situation gets really horrifying, so horrifying, in fact, that the remaining teenagers decide that perhaps it might be a good idea to re-frame from the sex and the booze and try to survive the horrifying ordeal.

5. Because nobody has thought of simply jumping into his/her/the parent's car and simply vacating the premises as fast as possible, the casualty count of beheaded teenagers, continues to increase, until...

6. A lone surviver, usually a female, emerges, alive, but totally out of her mind.

KILLER INSTINCT pretty much follows this same formula, but with a few twists and turns that actually make this movie one of the better horror flicks.

For starters, the insane asylum was not haunted nor was there any "Jason"-like predators who allegedly return to the scene of the crime on the anniversary of whatever took place. The asylum was closed down but not abandoned. And the mysterious malicious person who remained hidden, closed the windows and locked all the doors before the body count takes place. When it became apparent that something was wrong, the teenagers actually decided that the sex and the booze would have to wait. First thing on the agenda was to get the hell out of that asylum, easier said than done.

the movie did not end with a lone survivor. It ended with a shocking proposal.

CASA VIANELLO is a funny family sitcom about a real life family. The title is named after the man of the house, Raimondo Vianello, who plays the slightly henpecked husband of Sandra Mondaini, a frisky and independent housewife.

The show is wildly popular in Italy because it is about real people getting mixed up in very real situations (and not-so-real situations)that are often outrageous.

Sandra, who in real life is a professional clown with a registered painted face and who has starred and costarred in countless TV programs, many of which are classified as "telespettacoli" (another name for "variety" like THE Hollywood PALACE, THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW, etc, a concept that, though long fell out of favor with American audiences, is still very much alive and well with Italian audiences).

On one episode, some friends of the family had returned from some vacation abroad and came home with some popular cigarettes that they wanted to share with the family and some guests who also stopped by.

What nobody knew was that somebody's handbag had been mixed up with another handbag and that the cigarettes that the friend had passed around were laced with either marijuana or hashish.

So as the party smoked their funny cigarettes, with some very funny results. They all got higher than kites and stated laughing hysterically.

On another episode, Raimondo, though some internet dating, managed to convince his internet date that he was a very suave lover.

When his date showed up, he found out too late that is wife had changed her plans and had decided to have her friends over.

To prevent the wife and the girl from crossing paths, he locked his wife and friends in the kitchen and proceeded with his romantic overtures with the date, forgetting that the kitchen also had a door to the balcony, which also connected to the living room with another plane glass door, allowing the wife and friends to watch the whole thing from outside.

Combining some Italian humor with a little bit of slapstick and some tongue-in-cheek humor, this show remains popular on the Italian Mediaset networks.

The Ugliest Girl in Town predates Tootsie by more than a couple years.

I remember this hilarious sit-com, about Timothy Blair, a "nobody" who accidentally becomes a very hot actress. Offers come in and "she" is a hit. However, his dream is to become a successful ACTOR.

Finally, an offer comes in and his dream appears to finally come true. He can be finally free of his alter-ego, "Timmie". So he plots to have her "killed" in a helicopter mishap.

He puts his plan into action. Dressed as "Timmie", he falls to "her" death, swims to a secluded spot were his girlfriend is waiting with a change of clothes and a new life as an actor.

But there is one catch! He later discovers that the reason he is hired is because he looks so much like "Timmie". But with "Timmie" assumed dead, his big break dies as well.

So he is forced to dress up as "Timmie" and emerge with an alibi.

And like it or not, "Timmie" is here to stay.

With so much many gender-bending comedies out on DVD, like TOOTSIE and TO WONG FU, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, LOVE JULIE NEWMAR along with so many other movies that have become hits, how nice it would be if this series would likewise come out on DVD, or at least in syndication.

This series was a total stroke of genius. How anybody could turn a movie box office smash whose merits were that it was bloody, gross, immoral and at times sacrilegious, water down what it was that made the movie such a hit, turn it into a family friendly sitcom without losing that edge and walk away with a hit series that outlasted the war that the series was based on, is truly a feat that would have even the wise old King Solomon impressed.

The series was at its best in the years preceding the departure of McLean Stevenson. The show never really ran out of ideas and the writers never had to dig down at the bottom, like the writers of, say, HAPPY DAYS had to do.

MASH went through various phases as its characters developed as certain members were replaced.

Still, the series was at its best when McLean Stevenson played the befuddled CO, LtCol Hnry Blake, who was manipulated relentlessly by Hawkeye and Trapper John. Any time Henry Blake had a memo to dictate to "Radar" O'Reilly, "Radar" would quote the memo as the CO was trying to find the words to say. Yet in spite of his cunning ability to outwit his CO, "Radar" still maintained his naive and child-like nature, even sleeping with his teddy bear at night.

Klinger was forever trying to get his coveted Section Eight, showing up every time with a new scheme and a new dress. Jamie Farr's portrayal of the transvestite Klinger was so hilarious that Farr will be forever live in our hearts, wearing a dress! Barry Linnville's Frank Burns was such a jerk that we couldn't help but to applaud Hawkeye and Trapper John for their cruel yet often deserving pranks on Frank Burns.

Wayne Rogers' Trapper John was the perfect accomplice for Hawkeye's many schemes. The two shared the same cunningness and the same love for their moonshine.

In the next phase, Harry Morgan came as Col. Potter, a by-the-book army colonel who was no nonsense, yet he had a heart and he truly cared for his troops.

Next, replacing Trapper John. came Mike Farrell's B.J.Hunnicutt, who though close to Hawkeye, provided a counterbalance.

The next phase came when Radar O'Reilly left and Corporal Klinger got promoted. On came a new rank and off came the dresses and evening gowns. This was a sad day for me. Klinger just wasn't the same without his wild schemes or his dresses.

As the series evolved, Hawkeye evolved into a kinder and gentler person without completely giving up his anti-military attitude.

Still, through thick and thin, the series stood strong. It remained popular and, in fact, the series, after taking a dip in the storyline, actually got better and won more fans. So the cast and crew had to pull the plug on the series, which was done in February 1983. The series went down with a bang. "Goodbye MASH" parties popped up and many bars and night clubs had their own "Goodbye MASH" parties, thus closing a chapter of TV history that will be hard to replace or duplicate.

If time allows only enough time to watch only one episode of MASH, this episode would have to be the one to see. It is the all time best.

A movie crew shows up at the 4077 to film a propaganda movie titles "Yankee Doodle Doctor" about the brave young volunteers who are serving in harm's way for the free world. In other words, it is way over the top.

Hawkeye, adding that he volunteered while under the porch trying to puncture his ear drum, was less than impressed and decided that the film must go! So, enlisting the help of his side kick and partner in crime, Trapper John and roping in Corporal "Radar" O'Reilly, the three merely substitute the propaganda film with a version of their own.

Their film version is absolutely hilarious, done in the tradition of the Marx Brothers. With Hawkeye, as Groucho, Trapper John as Harpo and "Radar" O'Reilly as the patient, the film is worth its price in laughter, which is of course worth more than gold.

This episode is a "must see" for both MASH fans and those with only a passing interest.

"The Adventures of the Young Indiana Jones" have every bit as much of the fun and excitement as the Indiana Jones movies.

Unless I am mistaken, I do believe that this episode, when aired on TV, began and ended with a segment featuring a very old Indiana Jones. On the DVD, this segment is missing.

In the final scene, the very old Indiana Jones is looking at an exhibit on the October Revolt, commenting that the exhibit was incorrect.

A museum employee, assuming that the old Indiana Jones is just an old fool who doesn't know what he's talking about, asked him what made him so sure that the picture was taken in July, vice October.

He replied "See that blurred smudge? That was me!"

I loved the movie. It was one of those movies I could watch again and again. The performance rocked. The actors were great and the story was non-stop fun. However, as a bio-epic, well, the movie just wasn't cricket (as one reviewer from ROLLING STONE described the movie in 1978).

For starters, the Baptist preacher did not make any indirect blasts from the pulpit at Buddy Holly nor were his parents ashamed of their wayward rock and roll rebel boy, as depicted in the movie. In fact, the pastor considered Buddy to be a talented musician and was not as hard core anti-rock and roll as many Baptist preachers tended to be.

Buddy Holly's mother was musically inclined and even contributed her song writing skills to Buddy Holly's music. (She wrote "Buddy's Song" which was featured on the Fletwood Mac album KILN HOUSE).

There were mountains in Lubbock, but no sign of Norman Petty.

While the part where that mad DJ was playing that Buddy Holly record non-stop on a radio station in Buffalo, New York, didn't really happen, that part was based on an event that allegedly did take place in that city.

In 1955, a DJ announced that he would play "Rock Around the Clock" by Bill Haley and his Comets, non-stop if listeners would beep their horns. So teenagers drove down to Lafeyette Square and started beeping their horns. This caused a traffic jam and more drivers stuck in the jam, also started beeping their horns and this publicity stunt caused a traffic jam that extended miles out in every direction until the police and fire department finally got to break down the door to the radio station.

As a bio-epic, the movie falls very short of its mark. But as a rock and roll movie, this movie delivers. It was so much fun to watch that immediately afterwords, I raced over to the record store and bought the soundtrack.

This episode begins with the Sterling family on vacation in Egypt. At the Great Pyramid, the Sterlings meet a young man who offers the family a special tour inside the pyramid for special low price.

The tour is very interesting and the Sterlings are quite pleased until that guide informs them that the price was only for entering the pyramid. Now they must pay another fee to exit out. A confrontation takes place, and the Sterlings find themselves alone in a maze of tunnels and no flash light. So they try to feel their way out, only to fall into what appears to be a well into a torrential river that sweeps the family out into what appears to be some kind of lake or sea.

When they manage to swim to the surface, they find that they are far from the shore. But they see what appears to be a light house and they swim towards the light.

Once on dry land, they meet the Kommander Kroll, a zone trooper who informs the family that they are in a forbidden zone and are promptly arrested for a number of violations. The only way out is to overtake the zone trooper and take off in his vehicle, using the zone trooper's special key. It is at this point that the Sterlings realize that they are now on another world. The big question is how to get back, if it is even possible. As if that wasn't enough, the Sterlings now have the wrath of Kommander Kroll, who is now out for vengeance (not to mention his special key and his vehicle).

It is perfectly all right to rant and rave at this finale. A lot of people have and they have good reasons for their displeasure. However, I think this ending is brilliant! To compare Sam Tyler's "Luke Skywalker" to Marty McFly's "Clint Eastwood" (from BACK TO THE FUTURE-part 3) is an insult in light of the ridiculous way the BACK TO THE FUTURE trilogy was concluded.

This season finale was made on short notice since ABC announced that the series would not be carried into a second season. So it was necessary to wrap all the loose ends together and close out the show.

Ending the series with Sam waking up in his pod, numbered "2-B" by the voice that turned out to be the voice of Windy, who at the start of the series called Sam "2-B" named after the flat he was living in, was brilliant.

Sam Hunt would've been a "senior citizen in space" but in 2035, who is to say that there weren't other "senior citizens" who had gone into outer space prior? The mission to Mars, giving "Life on Mars" an entirely new meaning was pure genius.

With some minute details to the landing craft, such as some art decorations on the bulkhead that were purely "1970s" and with some equipment that was inspired by the sci-fi classic, SPACE 1999, which was made in the early 1970s, this gives enough leeway for yet another season since this could all be a dream by Sam Tyler who was either hit by a car in 2008 and landed in 1973, or it could the dream of a Sam Tyler who really lived in 1973 but only imagined that he was really from 2008. Who knows?

Had I not seen the British version, I would've given this episode a 10. Initially, I was disappointed by the similarities between this version and the UK version because it seemed to copy the British story, with the names being the same, only the location is different.

However, there are some differences between the UK and the US version of this episode. The US version is a meaner than the UK version. The cops at the 125 are clearly more stressed out as they have to deal with a higher crime rate than their British counterparts, and both have to deal with mountains of paperwork.

The music proves that you can sometimes fix something, even if it ain't broke! The 2008 scene begins with GROUND ZERO playing on the car stereo though Sam's iPod. But the rest of the story, taking place in 1973, also provides a musical journey down memory lane with such selections as "Signs" by the Five Man Electrical Band (which charted in May 1971 and peaked at Number 3), "Little Willy" by Sweet (which charted in January 1973 and peaked at Number 3), "Baba O'Riley" by the WHO (from the 1971 LP, "Who's Next") and closes out with "Out of Time" by the Rolling Stones (from their 1967 LP "Flowers").