Reviews

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is such an absurd idea that you just can't help but love. Seriously, try to say the title without smiling. I dare you!

This film whips up a crazy what if scenario that sounds like something a pre-teen boy would dream up in his head while he's bored in history class learning about The Civil War. After a traumatic event during his childhood, Abe Lincoln decides to take upon the duty of slaying vampires who are living among everyday people. It turns out that the vampires were the ones who started slavery in the United States, prompting Abe to get into the world of politics to bring an end to the vampire's reign of terror in the south.

Absurd? Yes. Badass? You bet!

I knew I was in for a good time going into this movie. Afterwards, I was satisfied. It was everything I could have wanted out of a movie about Abraham Lincoln killing vampires. It has a quick pace, it's got plenty of fast paced action, and some clever twists on historical events. It's pure fun entertainment, the type of B-movie cheesiness that just appeals to the inner pre-teen mindset that rests within us all. You're guaranteed to have fun with this movie, unless if you're some stuck up history snob that can't take a joke. It's also fairly well made for a movie of it's type. If you ask me, there's no better way to honor a great historical figure than turning them into a badass hunter of things that go bump in the night. For that, I give it a 7/10.

There isn't much else I can say, other than just give it a watch and have a bloody good time!

Gamera vs Gyaos is one of the best films from the Gamera series and is just a great monster film in general. I mean, it has a giant flying turtle who breathes fire vs a giant vampire bat who can shoot lasers, what's not to love?

Storyline:

A volcanic eruption causes a giant bat creature named Gyaos to emerge from a mountain. Right away, Gyaos begins causing mayhem. He starts eating people, and he also can fire lasers that can slice through anything like paper. When Gyaos attempts to eat a little boy, Gamera flies down to stop Gyaos' reign of terror. Gyaos fires his laser at Gamera's arm, causing it to spew out green blood. Gamera then goes into the ocean to recover from his injuries. This gives Gyaos time to destroy a city. But Gamera comes back to battle with Gyaos again. They end up in the water, where Gamera bites down on Gyaos' foot, tearing it off and causing purple blood to spill out. Gyaos then goes back into his cave to regenerate his foot. The scientists then create a plan to lure Gyaos with a vat of blood so they could then give Gamera some time to attack him. This then leads to the 3rd and final battle between Gamera and Gyaos.

All in all, this is quite an entertaining monster film. It's not up to the level of quality of the Godzilla movies, but it's still enjoyable. It never really drags and gets boring. There is quite a bit of monster action here, consisting of 3 different battles between the two monsters, and each gets even better than the last. There is also a surprising amount of blood and gore for what would be considered a more kid friendly film. Gamera gets quite vicious at times, especially when we see him bite into Gyaos' neck and tear off some of his flesh. There's plenty of blood spills here, but it's all either green or purple in order to make it less realistic. The special effects are also pretty decent in this film. The rubber suits do look a little cheap, and their eyes also look like they are illuminated using LED lights, however the monster suits are decent all things considered. I also think that the monster featured in this movie, Gyaos, is one of the coolest kaiju from the Gamera series. Gyaos would become known as Gamera's arch nemesis, and he would appear in several other Gamera films including the trilogy from the 90's. I also think it's cool how Gamera is essentially fighting a vampire, with Gyaos being a bat that is shown to crave human blood and fear sunlight. It adds more horror elements to the film. It is also rumored that Daiei studios got the idea for Gyaos after Toho had used a giant version of the Frankenstein monster in the epicly titled "Frankenstein Conquers The World", so Daiei decided to add in their own horror themed monster with a vampire bat to pay homage to Dracula. Overall, I find this film to be very entertaining, and it is also a pretty solid kaiju monster film. I give it a 6/10. It's nothing amazing, but it is a great 60's monster flick that's worth a watch.

King Kong vs Godzilla is a product of it's time and really shows it's age, but it packs a lot of cheesy entertainment value that makes it worth your while.

Storyline:

The greedy owner of a pharmaceutical company sends a crew of bumbling fools to a mysterious island in search of the giant gorilla, King Kong. After fighting with a giant octopus and getting drunk on berry juice, Kong gets captured by the crew and taken to Japan to be used as a mascot for the company. Meanwhile, Godzilla has broken out of an iceberg and begun another rampage. Kong breaks loose and heads over to the mountains to square off with Godzilla. After getting hit by Godzilla's fire breath, Kong just walks away scratching his head. After realizing that Kong might be the only one who can defeat Godzilla, the military decides to give Kong an airlift using giant balloons tied to helicopters. The military drops Kong off at Godzilla's location on Mount Fuji, and the two duke it out in the most goofy and epic battle in cinematic history.

With a silly plot, unconvincing effects, and corny dialogue, it's no secret that this is an outdated film. However, it makes for a highly entertaining viewing experience and is guaranteed to curb your appetite for some goofy fun. Pitting two icons like Godzilla and King Kong against each other is a true work of genius, and Toho deserves a round of applause for making it happen so many years ago. Sure, you can say that this movie is obsolete since it's been remade, but if you ask me, all the big budget modern day CGI in the world can't top the appeal of a classic Japanese monster movie. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that this is one of the prime examples of the cheesy fun that can be found in a Japanese monster movie.

This film has a very fast pace, and you won't be left bored with the human storyline. The human characters are quite funny, and the dub has a bunch of corny dialogue that's bound to make you laugh due to the sheer amount of corniness. This movie also doesn't skimp on scenes featuring the two titular monsters. There's a bunch of stand out funny moments that make the film all the more memorable. Moments like Kong shoving a tree down Godzilla's throat, Godzilla clapping like a happy little kid after lighting Kong on fire, and Kong fighting an octopus that looks like it's covered in saran wrap all add to the entertainment value. On top of that, Godzilla has a really cool lizard-like design, and Kong has a memorably crappy design that looks like a part store gorilla costume that was run over by a car several times before filming. Oh, and there's also the fact that Kong gets superpowers from electricity due to this movie originally starting out as a Frankenstein movie (Feel free to look that up, it's an interesting read).

This is one of my guilty pleasures. It's full of mindless fun, and it's got a lot of rewatch value. It's a must watch for any movie buff just due to the sheer awesomeness of it's concept. I give it a 7/10, and that's probably more than what it truly deserves, but the amount of goofy entertainment packed into this gem of monster cinema makes it more than worth your time. I guarantee that it'll get a few laughs out of you, and who doesn't love a good laugh?