Change Your Image
mtnv79
Reviews
Remember the Titans (2000)
I'm as mad as I've ever been.
Normally even if I don't like a film i'll explain the plot and trash it eloquently, but not with this heaping-pile of diseased walrus dung.
This film is what happens a bad hallmark card vomits and mixes with Disney. When this abomination was complete it let off a stench so foul and heinous it actually started global warming. This should have been one of those garbage straight to video Disney films with unknown actors. That would have been to easy they had to go get the great Denzel Washington, veteran of films like Glory, Philadelphia, Training Day, etc, and drag him down. Worse even then Denzel, they dare to sully the glorious name of Football. How dare these vermin try to castrate America's true National Pastime. I wish I could line up one of those stuffed shirt, studio, prancing, pre-madonna's that green lighted this, and go flying into them helmet first. If anyone's ever played football, or just enjoys the game, they'll realize this film has nothing to do with football. The higher ups involved had better hope there is no God or surely there judgment will be great, prehaps they'll even be forced to watch this film.
If you come upon some individual whether it be a friend or neighbor, co-worker or boss, relative or stranger, big or small, black or white, and in the course of your discussions this film comes up and by some reason they should bring up this film and mention something the least bit positive about it berate them immediately and forcefully, show absolutely no mercy as they deserve none. Remember at this point we may not even be dealing with actual humans that have souls. Let them know they are lowering the bar on humanity, tell them they should not be allowed to procreate and your opinion of them has changed to a degree that it might never be saved. If they start to argue remain calm and go straight to the evidence. Show them the film, I know this opens up an ethical dilemma as to paying money to see it but that's another discussion, and point out the garbage frame by frame and line by line if necessary. If they see the light and error of their ways openly embrace them and tell them everyday will now be better then the last. If however they still like the filth tell them to leave and never bother you again, so that you and your family might live in peace separated from such dastardly swine.
Wag the Dog (1997)
This movie is an absolute DISGRACE!
This is another one of those movies that people insist is clever and politically astute, and isn't. The number of big stars in the film doesn't make it any better, and quite frankly i'm ashamed of them for being in it - I say this as a tremendous Robert DeNiro fan. This is the type of film that only Hollywood elite's find clever. The types that think everyone between L.A. and New York are a bunch of rubes picking lice off one another.
A brief outline of the plot. The president is caught in a sex scandal!!! - this film was released in 1997 mind you. One of his spin doctors(Robert DeNiro) seeks to save face. He enlists the help of a eccentric film director(Dustin Hoffman) to produce a fake war. They pick an obscure country that most Americans have probably never heard of, Albania. The presidents popularity surges, the phony war helps bury the scandal and gets him elected - before us rubes find out. I don't want to get political, well the film tries to so maybe I will.
Let me start out with one of the tremendous flaws of this film. It views Clinton's air-strikes of Iraq as a cover for his sex scandal. I need to introduce a big problem with this and how overly concerned with political correctness Clinton was. He also could have ordered the C.I.A to take out osamba bin-laden, yet cowered to political pressure of the possibility of looking bad for attacking people. If he had the same types of people would have levied the same criticism on him, not realizing how important it would have been.
If you want to say this is revisionist history fine hindsight is 20-20, but I hated this film when it was released. I felt it was insulting and inaccurate then for other reasons. News coverage over the past ten years is rampant. CNN reports on deployments of U.S. military everywhere when ever they move, wrongly in my opinion. The concept of a fake war that the American people will believe just because it's on TV is ridiculous. The only time the U.S. uses immediate force without debate, negotiations, U.N votes, Congressional votes, etc, is when it's doing so covertly. Think about the large anti-war build up and protests for the current, or second Iraq war. The makers of this film have to much faith in government and not enough in the common man. This very republic was founded on a revolutionary concept elective representation. I just have a little more faith in us lice picking the world is flat rubes.
Aside from the political and back to the film. To its credit it has two fairly memorable performances Dustin Hoffman and Woody Harrelson. It's a highly watchable film with good dialog and bits of comedy scattered throughout, but you can see all the stars in much better films. I really think this film is vastly overrated I hope some people will look back and realize that it is. I like most of the actors and recommend them highly, in other films. If you're interested films that are politically astute and deal with real situations instead of pseudo ones, I recommend All The President's Men(a good Hoffman film), The Candidate(slightly dated but still better than this), or Hotel Rawanda(a great film).
Slam (1998)
No accounting for taste?
I'm shocked to hear all the glowing commentary about this film. It's unfortunate that i'm limited to a thousand words to describe how bad it truly is. The basic plot is a character named Raymond Joshua, a rapping drug dealer played by Saul Williams, gets arrested for drug possession, then bailed out by a fellow prisoner - SERIOUSLY - then must decide whether to go back to prison. For starters the quality of the film is poor, a good twenty minutes could be cut out removing these slow motion flashbacks that are just time killers. Yes it was low budget, but many other small films don't look this ridiculous. In particular the chase seen in which Joshua picks an arbitrary point to climb up a white picket fence, despite being chased by overweight 50 something detectives that randomly burst into song, literally.
The biggest problem with the movie is the unrealistic character of Joshua, amongst other problems. He is not a typical drug dealer or rapper despite whatever the poor black men have no chance message this film is going for. When asked if was guilty of the possession of the marijuana Joshua responds "I mean I don't know", yet throughout the film he breaks into poems/raps that clearly display his tremendous vocabulary, you aren't just born knowing these words. It's clear that he was well educated, yet not very educated in basic laws, or the principals of using your education to get a legal job.
While in prison, Joshua breaks up a inmate riot by yelling a poem. The poem is pretty entertaining, it goes on to blame whitey for everything and his inspiring words stop everyone from stabbing each other. He then meets a female poetry teacher who happens to see the riot stopping poem, a foolish plot device an indie film fan would never forgive in another situation, but hey THIS IS REAL. In the one poetry class Joshua goes to, which is the last one due to budget cuts of course, his instructor goes on a whiny diatribe about how good the people in the prison are. This despite the previous poem by an inmate being titled "I shot three mother" you can guess the next word "and I don't know why".
A very interesting and entertaining character named Hopha, a prisoner who goes around in a lab coat for some reason, then bails Joshua out. Joshua then goes and hooks up with the poetry instructor, and has a week to decide whether accept his guilt, or flee or something. The films climax is him performing a poem to a small club that goes wild afterward. Once again the bad editing is at work here as he rattles off 20 seconds of poem, then starts over, I'm fairly sure it wasn't meant to be that way they just didn't feel like doing another take. Then a member of the audience yells an expletive that clearly should have been deleted because it makes the whole scene look ridiculous.
I really worry about people being inspired by this film or wanting it shown in public schools, the latter a possible sign of the apocalypse. It seems a lot of commentary's from outside the U.S. like the film, I really hope this isn't the only vision of America you have. Film is not reality, the best it can do is present a situation that might have some truth in it, something this film does very little of. If you want a better film about prison injustice try Brubaker, it cuts to the heart of matters more and is of much better quality. I could go on about other errors in the film. A first time offender getting ten years for a small amount of weed. The screaming character Jimmy Huang who is billed high on the credits for yelling briefly, to his credit his scene is worth watching. The abundance of over and underacting. The intentional, yet not clever, cameo of Marion Berry. I could go on for hours but lets just say my rating for this film is ONE ONE ONE. . .ONE ONE ONE.