Change Your Image
guycullen-29116
Reviews
How to Become a Mob Boss (2023)
Accuracy is the key
An entertaining but ultimately poorly researched piece with many glaring potholes and an idealistic view on all things mob related.
It states Al Capone died in prison when he actually died in his Florida mansion from the advanced stages of syphilis.
It also bangs on about Whitey Bulger evading capture for so long but fails to mention that he was savagely beaten to death in prison, both for his stool pigeon antics and rumours of sexual deviancy.
I thought the visuals were entertaining and the pace kept you interested. Not bad for a tongue in cheek piece but not definitive by any stretch of the imagination.
Hypnotic (2023)
Bad, bad, bad
If a three year old tried to explain the film Inception to a booze addled 80's B film director, who had a genie in a bottle that could grant wishes of money, but nothing else... it would go something like this.
The opening scenes showed so much promise. I always like a good mind bender of a plot with the main protagonist being taken outside of what we know to be reality (see Black Mirror, Electric Dreams and The Twilight Zone et al) but when your one from Queen of the South starts talking about 'Hypnotics' like she's explaining how to make an omelette, alarms bells started to ring.
From there it went downhill faster than the proverbial off a shovel.
I read another review that suggested Nichols Cage clearly wasn't available for this movie. Bruce Willis must have a full diary too as this brand of mindless pap appears to be his go-to in recent times.
It would appear that films are becoming like songs in this modern age... all the good ones have already been written.
Skyscraper (2018)
Formulaic Americana
Every American cliche you can think of and more. As soon as the 'best friend' turns up you know he's going to betray the main character.
You know the 'Security System' will be compromised. You know the 'state of the art' building's flaws (pardon the pun) will be exposed by a nefarious group of scoundrels who are dead set on killing as many ordinary people as possible in their quest for...
I'm only 35 minutes in and giving serious thought to cleaning the oven or watching the grass grow in the garden. Maybe even listening to the fishing on the radio.
As it's my day off and the urge to do absolutely nothing is overwhelming, I'll probably watch a bit more just to see if the good guy saves the day and his family. Proper cliffhanger (again, apologies) this one. There's no telling which way it's going to go 🤷
Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (2021)
What else did you expect???
I can't understand other reviews slating this film. It is easily the equal of the first incarnation and equally as entertaining. The rooms were just as challenging and the narrative was just as intriguing as the first movie.
I read one review that pleaded for there not to be a third movie. How vacuous and shallow? Now as the two main protagonists are on a plane under the control of the overarching agency that controls the whole shebang, I really want to know where it goes from here.
This is an amazing franchise that has the legs to go forward for several films to come. And to the elitist naysayers, your lack of imagination is only surpassed by your unfounded conceit and hubris.
Last King of the Cross (2023)
Shallow and cliched
It's not often I'm compelled to write reviews but this is baffling me. I am failing to see what other reviewers have found so appealing in this series.
I don't feel an affinity with any of the characters and to be honest, the two brothers who are central to the narrative get on my nerves. I'm on episode 6 and if either of them got slotted it would be no great loss.
Tim Roth appears to think he can go through his post Tarantino acting career playing the same unconvincing character in every production (see Tin Star and Lie to Me). He seems to think that 'can't be a****d chic' is in some way suave and intriguing but in reality it's just bland and tiresome.
I really couldn't care who ends up running the drug trade, if the bent coppers get caught or if Godzilla wades through Kings Cross and eats the Hell's Angels. They're all one dimensional, badly written, ill thought out caricatures of so many drab and dreary, plastic gangsters from so many straight to DVD, bargain bin flops.
Quite honestly I'm annoyed I've invested the time to reach episode 6. I can only hope and pray that a fleet of alien craft descend to take control of earth's resources and enslave the.... Wait, that's Independence Day. A cliche with watchability.
Anyway, just felt I had to enunciate my complete and utter distain for this facile and uninspired journey into drudgery and despair.
Feel free to retort...
Stay Close (2021)
Breathtakingly banal.
I think Mr Coben has reached his limit with this one with what appears to be a cliche ridden, unfeasible, unbelievable slew of middle class pap.
Massive disappointment as the Stranger was really rather decent.
Rise of the Footsoldier: Origins (2021)
Guilty Pleasure
I know I shouldn't, but I love these films. These three actors have squeezed every last drop out of the three casualties of the 'Range Rover Murders' and good luck to them.
The fella that plays Tony Tucker can't be far off drawing his pension and Craig Fairbrass (playing Pat Tate who died at 37) isn't far behind, but it just works.
I know, in real life, they were despicable human beings but it's engrossing viewing, like a train crash. Scorsese it isn't. Compulsive viewing it is.
Jacob's Ladder (2019)
Not as bad as you'd think
If you completely disregard the original film, this isn't a bad effort. It's just unfortunate that the producers chose to align the film with a classic. Given a different title I think this would have garnered better reviews and a more positive, overall reception.
Just my humble opinion, but I liked it.
Away (2020)
What else would it be???
I can't understand reviews that slate this production. What else would it be about than social interaction? Other than a few gaping misinterpretations regarding the lack of gravity, this series completely encompassed the social dynamic of such a mission. The acting was exceptional, believable and all encompassing and I am gutted there will not be a second series.
The Journey (2016)
A Beautiful Proposition
Sad, sad people who cannot see this film for what it is. Yes it's speculative but it is a proposal of what might have led to a life changing truce for so many who lived in the shadow of paramilitary rule. In complete contradiction to both men's pasts and beliefs they came together to end the years of bloodshed in the streets Ireland and forge a future for all.
Both parts were played admirably, lending humility and humour to an historically emotionally charged issue and a resolution that ended a stalemate that cost the lives of so many.
To the cynics I would say however the peace agreement was reached, I would like to think it went something like the events of this film.
Tin Star (2017)
Close, but no cigar
I endured the first season, couldn't be arsed with the second season and only watched the third to see my home town on the screen.
The script could have been so much better given the brilliant cast.
My major bugbear is why actors who are not from Liverpool cannot give an accurate account of the Scouse accent. The intonation is all over the place and so fake it's cringeworthy. There are a plethora of decent Scouse actors out there, so why are we forced to listen to these accents that fall horrendously short of the mark. Even Harry Enfield did a better job.
It's also 'nice' how the Chief Constable has a southern Counties accent, as if we in Liverpool's fair city are incapable of producing a copper competent enough to run our own plod.
The Third Day (2020)
Excellent 😳
I can't believe people are slagging this one off. It's intense and compelling and the fact that the main characters make bizarre, unlikely choices is part its appeal. It hints that the main protagonists are either not in their right frame of mind or are existing and moving through realms outside of the temporal world.
The acting is superb and the essence of mystery the whole package delivers is riveting.
Many reviewers on here have suggested it has a Wicker Man vibe which is true but this seems to go deeper into the human psyche and is less inevitable in its direction.
I wish I'd have waited to binge watch all episodes on a rainy Sunday afternoon with a big mug of tea and no interruptions
This is definitely one I'll keep to watch again
Rise of the Footsoldier 4: Marbella (2019)
A work of pure fiction
If the Marvel franchise made a film about the eponymous Pate Tate, this would be it. As mildly entertaining as it was there is not a single morsel based in fact.
They portrayed Tony Tucker, a sociopathic, mindless nutter as a giggling buffoon and Craig Rolfe as his sidekick/punchline.
With themes stolen from 'The Business' the film's only saving grace is Craig Fairbrass's brutal portrayal of a truly evil and narcissistic individual who had no regard for anyone or anything.
In conclusion it's worth a watch but it's more a comedy than a serious biographical endeavour
Await Further Instructions (2018)
Subtle message
People appear to have missed the point of this one. It has an underlying theme of human conditioning and conformity. The fact that the family surname (uttered by the mother on the phone) is Milgram, the surname of the chap who carried out fake electronic experiments in the 50s (to reveal society's blind obedience to those in perceived authority) and that all the instructions come from the TV is, to me, a clear message as to how much we are influenced by what we are fed by media companies direct into our own homes, and how readily we believe what we are told.
I thought the film, on the whole, was a good effort for a low budget project. If you're fond of 'Tales of the Unexpected', 'Black Mirror' and 'Inside Number 9' you won't be disappointed.