xphile63's Reviews

Meet the Feebles (1989)

2 December 2001

"Meet the Feebles" is a satire about the private lives of celebrities--it uses the "puppet" approach to demonstrate the view that we all have of celebrities as loveable, upstanding citizens while behind the scenes they're just as amoral as the rest of us (if not moreso!)

Be warned--this movie is amazingly politically incorrect. (It makes fun of people with AIDS, just for example.) It's also really gory and disgusting (cute little fuzzy things are tossed out of someone's dressing room into a hallway, flattened by a runaway barrel, and the remaining roadkill is eaten by a rat.) But like I said, there are elements of "Meet the Feebles" which are more intelligent than you might expect. Many parts of this movie will tear you in two directions, you won't know whether to laugh or cry. While it may come across at first as just another stupid and exploitatively violent movie, if you look close you'll see that "Meet the Feebles" was conceived with intelligence, and maybe even some level of compassion for its amoral cast.

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That '70s Show (1998–2006)

Probably the Most Realistic Teen Show on Television

22 August 2001

What's great about this show is that it can be enjoyed by people of all ages--adults can enjoy a flashback to their own youth and kids can identify with the lovable and endearing characters.

When you take into account its so-called competition ("Dawson's Creek" anyone?) "That 70s Show" is a surprisingly honest and funny portrayal of small-town adolescence and coming-of-age. Definitely worth your time.

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I Spit on Your Grave (1978)

Very Shocking, But Not Really Scary

24 July 2001

While this may be good for pure shock value, it really was not a very well-made film. The characterization and acting were both very poor and took away from the film's atmosphere. The rape sequence was grueling and relentlessly cruel, which is not necessarily a bad thing considering that seemed to be what the director was going for.

Also, there's something fairly important about the plot that is never explained: after Matthew spared her life, why didn't Jennifer call the police and have the men arrested? That was obviously her original plan, as she went straight for the phone when she first arrived back at the cabin. What changed her mind?

"I Spit on Your Grave" is worth watching if you want to be shocked or revolted, and also just so you can tell people you've seen it. If you're in the market for a truly disturbing or psychologically bothersome film, however, you won't find it here.

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Reefer Madness (1936)

5/10

A Hilarious Cult Classic

21 July 2001

Warning: Spoilers

Originally released in 1936 as an independent propaganda film, Reefer Madness (aka Tell Your Children) is in a more modern light extremely funny. Its over-the-top and completely unrealistic portrayal of the potentially life threatening consequences of even limited marijuana use are enough to send the viewer into hysterics.

*Spoiler Alert*

Of the four or five wholesome and innocent all-American teens who are exposed to the evil wrath of marijuana, one gets shot and two more end up accidentally killing people. There's also lots of premarital sex, which at the time of this film's original release was a huge no-no. Not to be missed.

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Moulin Rouge! (2001)

10/10

Spectacular! Spectacular!

19 July 2001

Okay, so the plot could have been a little stronger. But in light of everything else that was good about this movie, the plot seems kind of irrelevant, don't you think?

The really beautiful thing about Moulin Rouge is that it comes across as less of a movie and more of a very elaborate stage show. The visuals and the music were what really made it great, especially the vibrant use of color and the hilarious popular music parodies (including Madonna's "Like a Virgin" among others). The deliberately over-the-top performances added to the effect.

The beginning of this movie is incredibly corny, I'll admit, but not by accident. Instead, it *revels* in its corniness, and that makes it excusable.

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Baby Blood (1990)

9/10

An Interesting Spin on the Vampire Sub-Genre

19 July 2001

Warning: Spoilers

*Minor Spoilers Ahead*

What I liked the most about this movie was just the basic concept: A pregnant woman killing people and drinking their blood, as per the telepathic instructions of her unborn baby. How could you go wrong?

Although the version I saw ("The Evil Within") was heavily sliced and diced before its American release, the gore actually wasn't half bad. The uncut version is much more graphic, but all the dialogue is in French (with no subtitles) and plus it has to be special ordered. The easy-to-find edited version is well worth your time, but I'm sure the French import is much better.

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Pretty in Pink (1986)

What's With the Ending?

19 July 2001

Okay, I understand that John Hughes apparently changed the ending to this film at the last minute because he didn't want to send the message that rich people and poor people don't belong together or something. Now, I'm not saying that the supposed point of the movie as it stands isn't a good one--that social and financial differences should not come between two people in love. The problem here was simply that the whole film up to the very end was designed with Duckie in mind as Andie's final choice, and that influenced the plot and characters greatly.

For the current ending to work, the director would have needed to alter both the male leads a bit, adding a stronger character to Blane and making Duckie a little less endearing and a little more annoying (and perhaps putting a little more effort into finding him a substitute love interest...that thing with the blonde at the prom just came off as kind of annoying). I don't know about anyone else, but I was too busy feeling sorry for Duckie to really enjoy the relationship between Andie and Blane, although it might have had some potential otherwise.

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Gladiator (2000)

Over-Hyped Hollywood Idiocy

13 July 2001

Everything about Gladiator was completely *wrong*. Everything--every single thing about this movie--was handled in the wrong way. An excellent example is the gore and violence in this film--while the director made sure to include huge amounts of blood and guts in the fight scenes for no discernable reason, he weasled out in the one scene where such a graphic display might have made an emotional impact on the viewer (the murder of Maximus' wife and son). Why? Because it would have added a tiny smidgen of controversy to the film, and everyone knows that controversial films *never* get Oscars.

And speaking of which, the number of Oscar nominations this film received is a joke, exceeded only by the number of Oscars it actually won. I'm not saying that Joaquin Phoenix and Russel Crowe aren't good actors it's just that they were given so little to work with that their lack of conviction was inevitable. I was especially surprised with Russel Crowe's victory over Geoffrey Rush, who I thought had given an exceptional performance in Quills.

Well, at least Best Director went to Steven Soderbergh. Seeing that evil scowl on Ridley Scott's face when they presented the award almost made the whole rest of the evening worth it.

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Stepmom (1998)

2/10

The Cheesiest Movie Alive

11 July 2001

Warning: Spoilers

*Minor spoilers ahead*

Julia Roberts strikes again! Basically, this film is a big ol' sticky wad of total melodrama about a bunch of snobby, spoiled rich people throwing tantrums whenever they don't get their own way. It's supposed to teach the audience something about growing up and bonding with stepparents and coping with divorce and terminal illness and a whole slew of other things, but in the end it's just stupid, contrived and stereotypical. All three of the female characters (Jackie, Isobel and Anna) are self-absorbed, rude and manipulative and the younger child (I forget his name) is supposed to be all cute and handsome and charismatic and blah-de-blah but instead he quickly becomes annoying. Anyway, the plot basically goes round and round in circles for the first forty-five minutes and then the writers realized that it wasn't going anywhere and decided to deal the Tearjerking Terminal Illness(tm) card just to wrap it up. So they have Susan Sarandon's character get cancer, resulting in a half-million Heartwrenching Goodbye Sequences(tm) which ultimately bring the family closer together. I have a lot of respect for many of the actors in this film, but in all honesty, the film itself was way too cheesy for me to stomach (no pun intended). If you're a big fan of any of the actors, it's probably worth it, though.

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