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Reviews
Resident Evil: Infinite Darkness (2021)
A series about nothing
Soo... it's lazy, nonsensical and lame.
Pacing is horrible and things just happen without any rime or reason. There's basically no story, no character motivation whatsoever and the terrible voice acting just makes things worse. At least it's short, so that's something.
1 Mister X out of 5.
Joker (2019)
We're living in the "Idiocracy" movie universe
Jaquin Phoenix is amazing as always and New York looks pretty good, but everything else....
The plot is very contrived and pretty much a mess. Aiming more for shock value than smart, interesting or even a coherent story. It's another bad depiction of mental illness, with nothing interesting to say.
If you weren't paying attention, don't worry. You'll get a recap of the whole movie at the end by Jaquin Phoenix.
This movie is just a copy and an imitation of better movies mashed together and slapped with the "Joker" name and "Warner Brothers" logo. For people who have not seen "Taxi Driver", "The King of Comedy" and other better movies.
Its called "Joker" just because if it wasn't nobody would see/like this and nobody would care. The script was probably done before deciding that this is a "Joker" movie. By only changing the name and the makeup you could call it anythin. You could call it "Chaplin" or "Mr. Bean" or "Dracula" or whoever because it doesn't matter....
Todd Philips probably wanted to remake "Taxi Driver" but Warner Brothers only gave mone for a "DC" movie so.....
(This sentence was censored by your friendly neighborhood IMDb) Are you happy now?
Not worth a watch
Candyman (1992)
Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Ca....
It's not what you'd expect from an 90s horror film. And it's much more than that. It's a detective mystery / psychological thriller that also deals with racism, poverty and betrayal in an interesting way.
Movie starts pretty slow and has some hokey and "not-so-great acting" moments, but is suspenseful and intriguing right from the start.
The suspense and the horrific scenes feel really artistic. They always have purpose and a meaning to them. The only downsides are the constant jump scares that break the immersion and paste of the film.
Virginia Madsen is terrific as Helen and narration by Tony Todd gives this movie a creepy, but also beautiful and chilling tone. The score is amazing and never feels out-of-place.
Giving the killer a rich and interesting back story really puts weight to his actions. It makes everything feel somehow poetic and meaningful.
It's not only a good horror movie, it's a great film that reinvigorated the horror genre and feels fresh even by todays standards.
It's a "must see classic", that's definitely worth a watch
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Sequels are hard, aren't they
Was really excited to see this after seeing the first one and really wanted to like this... But sadly it's deminishing returns with retred elements from the first movie and relying too much on you having seen the previous one (a movie should stand on its own, that's why we have movies, tv shows and mini-series). The puppetry is amazing and practical effects are good, but the action is so lacklustre and definitely doesn't hold up. Too bad the movie is mostly dumb slapstick comedy and action.
The western feeling or touch that was present in previous movie is gone and all you have is a "slapstick sitcom adventure" that feels like jumping in a middle of a filler tv show episode.
The movie has dementia. Everything is show 2 times ie. Vader altering the deal, Darth Vader killing his co-workers for doing their job, hyperdrive going out of commission in crucial moments and Han (Harrison Ford) being suprised by that (3 times).
You won't miss out on much, by not seeing this. Maybe only the performance by Frank Oz as Yoda (witch is really ingading and fun to watch)
Titans (2018)
Alien 4 homage/rip-off in S2 E6?
The characters are likable, story isn't always good (maybe too many flashbacks), but the cinematography is so hilariously bad that makes this almost unwatchable and/or makes it impossible to take this seriously when all the "dramatic" moments are happening.
Overall it's just whatever and not worth a watch
The New Mutants (2020)
Here's some ideas mashed together in movie form
So first off i really liked some parts of it, and the ideas are good (some of them clearly not), but this is just a mess and a bad example of film making. I'm not even sure that you can call it a "movie". It's a bunch of clips, bits and ideas that aren't really connected to each other nor focused.
Director and writer of the film (Josh Boon) had an idea of a movie he wanted to make, that "FOX" did not approve of. Rather than hiring someone else, "FOX" got some writers, producer, directors and executives (with their own singular visions, different ideas and directions for the movie) to oversee/make re-writes/change parts of it/just coming up with something and making someone film it. This is a "Frankenstein's Monster" of a movie and that's probably why it had so many delays.
It's technically/objectively a "bad movie", that has all the parts that (could) define a "bad movie"
Unconnected scenes, motivations that don't make sense, contradict themselves and don't mach the characters,
bad dialogue, that is written by a child,
Unfinished SGI etc.
It's designed by committee and has no idea what it's supposed to be.......
But i really enjoyed 2/5 of this movie so give it 30-35min, and if you are not feeling it by then - you can skip this.
Ultimately Not Worth a Watch
Jessica Jones (2015)
Is the 1st season really that good?
The action is bad, but the plot is intriguing and the characters are likable..... at first.
After a few episodes you start seeing dummed down sub plots, childish dialogue, weird character motivations and simple laziness in nearly every aspect. Its a bad representation of drug addiction and mental health. It is extremely misinformed, heavy handed and predictable in every (bad) way. The cast is good with David Tennant's performance being the reason to watch some episodes of the 1st season and the score is pretty great too.
Ultimately it's a waste of time and brain cells.
Not worth a watch
Star Wars (1977)
C3PO (Anthony Daniels) is such a cutie and Han (Harrison Ford) doges a bullet
An epic space opera about queens, knights, love and wizards in space with great aesthetic and retro-futuristic style, that combines fantasy, sci-fi and wester elements in a self awere homage to "Flash Gordon".
Needless to say it is an instant classic, with an amazing score, great world building and only the horrible CGI taking it out of it's timelessness. It would've been great to see the "non-special-edition" of it and maybe if the movie would've touched more on the philosophical side of the war, artificial intelligence and religion, but it's more about the love and comradery between the characters. It's a slow start and the 3rd act feels a bit dragged out, but nothing is perfect.
Overall it's a great movie that is definitely worth a watch.
The Big Lebowski (1998)
Worth a watch
For some it will become their favourite movie, for others something deep and existential or just be a lot of quotes and likable characters with no ultimate goal nor point to it.
For me it's an interesting slice of life film with magical realism and satire. Going really broadly on themes of art, religion and overall point of existence. Overarching theme of trying to survive, just live life without hurting others, enjoying what you have and counter points to that. It has a (intentionally?) scattered and poorly paced plot, interesting characters who really bounce off each other and a lot of conversations.
Love it or hate it, you kinda have to see it
Juno (2007)
The "Not Another Indie Movie" brought you byHollywood
Being a regular dummed down comedy with mostly caricatures that is trying to shoehorn an non existing romance plot into a zero-plot-movie, while also trying to wrap it into a horrific indie drama to make everyone eat it up and feel like they watched something smart.
It would make more sense that Juno (Ellen Page) would end up with her best friend Leah (Olivia Thirlby),than Paulie (Michael Cera) witch shows how much it tries to appeal to the masses.
The score is good, but totally out of place. It's being showed into scenes what feels like completely by random and is probably made for a different movie or to distract the viewer from the fact that this 2h plot is being cut to 90min to milk this cow and get more screenings.
It's a difficult watch with teen pregnancy, abandonment and creepy questionable undertones that plays happy music and makes jokes at the same time.
The Punisher (2017)
This isn't really a superhero show
There is not that much action as you would expect. Its a kind of tragic story about mental health, dealing with trauma and loss of identity. It makes you feel sympathetic even for the "villains" and see their side of it. It keeps you wanting everyone to just survive and get a happy ending.
The biggest problem with the show is the design choices and Amber Rose Revah....
The cast is amazing with the exception of Amber Rose Revah as Dinah Madani. Every episode sets a tone, but every time she's on screen it brakes the immersion, starts dragging and becomes almost like watching a bad school play. It gets better in the 2nd season and wouldn't matter that much if she wasn't one of the main characters with a lot of focus in her. Especially when you see how incredible Jon Bernthal is. His performance as Frank Castle is magnetic to watch and i could just listen to him monologue.
It's not intentionally dragged out (or at least doesn't feel like it) and when you get to the action it's bloody, gruesome and everything you would expect from The Punisher.
Either you are a fan or not, it's definitely worth a watch.
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
Fast & Furious - Just Add Water
Fury Road is a 2 hour action scene/trailer for a movie. It is visually interesting, but with nothing to say. The set pieces and stunts are great and all,but i feel like there is more interesting lore to explore here or at least have some character development.
There are no real stakes because you don't care about the people in this movie or what happens to them. All the characters have almost no defining characteristics, emotions or goals. Everyone talks like a child, spitting quotes or in some cases just grunt their way through the movie.
It feels like they were trying to get a PG rating, because all the "gruesome deaths" happen off-screen or cut away so fast that you'll miss it in a blink (with one exception of course)
Overall it is a good action movie, with emphasis on the action.
If you enjoy "brainless action flicks" - here's 2 hours of just that.
Upgrade (2018)
It's fine
Going in I was expecting a grim and dark psychological sci-fi thriller, but ened up geting a formulaic fun romp with some interesting ideas and fun action.
It's probably the most generic revenge story ever told with cool ideas that are not fully relized.(If you have ever seen a movie, you know how this will go)
Yes it has some twists and turns, but its pretty obious what they are and that a movie like this will have them....
It wont make you think of something deep or change sci-fi and/or action movies, but you will probably enjoy the brisk action and the comedic chops
Overall its just okay and watchable to pass the time.
Love, Death & Robots: Zima Blue (2019)
It's under 10min
Rewatchable, not only because of the unique and aesthetically pleasing art style, but also the broad philosophical nature of the narrative.
It makes you think about desires, existence and overall humanity every time you watch it.
And If not, it's still a great watch.
Daredevil (2015)
The whatever show
Kind of okay Netflix show that gets progressively worse.
A lot of faffing about between some good and not so good action.
The only memorable part of 39 episodes is the hallway fight in season 1, episode 2.
Most cliché, cringe inducing and just bad dialogue that even the best of actors can not sell.
The first season is okay if you are a fan of marvel or completely imune to cringe. Otherwise a waste of time.
Ps.
You can watch the hallway fight on YouTube
Punisher: War Zone (2008)
Definitely worth a watch
Lexi Alexander has done an amazing thing by making you feel like you are "watching a comic book" adressing the silly side of all of it's characters.
A satirical look at violence without dumb jokes or brainless comedy
Its artistic, stylish and every shot has purpose.
Movies weak point is the "fast pace action" that feels like it has been cut by a madman trying to cause seizures in the audience
Hot Fuzz (2007)
Don't expect "Shawn of the Dead"
Fun buddy cop comedy with some twists and turns, action and bromance.
Too long for what it is,but has that Edgar Wright charm.
It does have some great moments but they are too few and far between.
Turn off your brain and enjoy probably the best version of this "Hollywood action flick"
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)
Worth a watch
Beautiful and really depressing film with action, romance and not-so-subtle social commentary.
Constantine (2005)
It's called "The Matrix" not "Neo"
An interesting premise brought down by wooden acting.
-It feels like Keanu Reeves is playing a different character in a different movie.
Getting some exposition from Neo is really jarring and takes you right out of the movie.
It is mostly about the atmosphere and visual storytelling than a comlex or even understandable plot.
Not worth a watch
The Boys (2019)
Kids Show for Adults or Another Walking Dead
-Once again a plot for a miniseries being dragged out by the master of squizing all the juice out bit by bit.
-The cast is great and are the only reason, that the most straight forward and predictable plot is wort a watch. But only for a season.
-This series feels lacking and really basic. For people to watch and not think about it. Showing blood and sex doesn't make the plot more complex or mature.
-If you are looking for something with more substance i would suggest that you check out the source material)
Justice League Dark (2017)
The First Animated film made by AI?
The most bland, uninspiring animation and absence of plot makes me suspicious that this was made by a robot.
You will have more fun staring at a blank wall