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Cheap Seats: Without Ron Parker (2004)
Excellent comedy, horrible sports
The Sklar brothers are enormously, uproariously funny and usually show it unequivocally several times an episode. Their spelling-bee-bell montage is hysterical, I've recounted it several times to people who blink at me, uncomprehending of the humor. I discovered the show in a dinghy hotel room on a dull business trip; laughing that hard saved my sanity. It's testament to their acumen and humor when people as funny as Jon Benjamin or Ed Helms will work with them. Those guys crack me up.
They have a good thing going, but there are a few big obstacles. ESPN Classic isn't exactly a ratings draw, so they won't get a lot of new viewers unless people stumble across it. It's too irreverent for a Disney network... The source material, too, can be so dull that they can't primp it enough to keep me interested. Steve Garvey made me a bit ill. I also think the genre of running-commentary-over-video is of limited appeal, which is too bad -- I love it. MST3K never really took off, although it stands its ground as a comedy great. Beavis and Butthead, while also enormously funny, had a lot of marketing weight and, let's face it, a bunch of schtick that struck a chord at the time it was out. Far be it from me to question Mike Judge's genius.
This has a sweet spot for viewership that's thirties, educated, geeky sports fans. For those of us in the demo, it's (probably short-lived) heaven. It may have a broader appeal, but I certainly don't hear people talking. I'm interested to see what Randy & Jason do with it, but I think they'll do their best work after it. There is certainly room for the slapdash comedy repartee they get going in mainstream television comedy.
Cabin Fever (2002)
Excellent horror flick -- woefully underrated
Spoilers contained within.
I'm aghast at the comments here, I adore this movie. I think there were a bunch of folks who went in with expectations that went unfulfilled. Perhaps viewers don't like their expectations being messed with -- I certainly do. A film that looks shallow at first glance but has good depth is always welcome. I can't believe that other viewers didn't see the thought that went into this well-made film that I did.
It being way to early to tell, I won't gush over Eli Roth's genius or anything, but he is a student of horror. His script is a horror script and not intended to be particulary scholarly or thought-provoking. It's uncomplicated and serves to move the plot along, it's not the focal point. It also guides the viewer into perceiving who the characters are and establishes the necessary fatal character flaws that get everyone killed. The plot, as well, is horror-uncomplicated: after the setup, everybody run from the menace, we're all going to die.
It's Roth's juxtaposition of menaces that makes this movie fabulous. The virus is scary enough, but what about the rampaging hillbillies or incompetent police? How about a drifter's mad dog growling at the perimeter as they fix the broken truck? Tainted water passed around by characters, blissfully unaware? Even an over-the-top horror tribute to the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre which turns out to be nothing but a fireside ghost story. It is in the combination of threats and the innocent characters' confusion that the real horror begins to shine through, and the audiences fear starts growing.
Then there's the gore -- truly horrifying gore in shocking clarity. Scenes are often established with enough preamble to encourage the viewer to anticipate the blood; when it comes, it roars past your expectations and sends you into tense discomfort. Best makeup effects of 2003, truly awful to behold. [An aside: one viewer I recommended it to vomited after the shower scene. Granted, he was a bit hung over, but it serves as example: this film is not for the weak of stomach.]
The love interest between the main character and his longtime friend at first glance seems banal, overdone. But the cinematic shots that set it up and the nearly-consummated romance undone by blood help increase the romance's potency. The stupendous review montage at the end of the film sends the beautiful blonde offscreen in horror glory. Without the jaded impression the viewer gets of the initial romance, the shock at the end has nowhere near the force.
In what I see as a tribute to Blair Witch Project, the characters all begin to turn on one another, which helps prompt audience anxiety. There are several particularly effective scenes as their friendship decays into survival instinct. As the turmoil increases and the frienship decays, there are several cathartic moments where individuals realize the shaky base of their relationship in the first place.
And, of course, there's "PANCAKES.... PANCAKES". Good old Dennis, I laughed and laughed. Truly great horror films are interspersed with grim humor. Cabin Fever is exceptionally funny in parts. Without this, the ride never lets up for the viewer and a constantly, ever-increasing fear factor becomes numbing. This film makes sure to pull the viewer up for "air" with laughter, before plunging you back into the bucket of gore for more fear.
At some length, let me sum up by saying this is worth a look if you like horror. Do not be swayed by the nearly universal antipathy here, many of these bad reviews may stem from offended sensibilities. Oh, and there's a coda at the end of the credits.
2 G's & a Key (2000)
so overacted, so melodramatic
I'll give it this: I didn't stop watching, and it's not corporate, which is kind of cool. But my internal critic cut it to pieces -- I suppose I see too many movies. Wooden script, the slang just sort of clanks out of their mouths without any kind of flow. Editing, mentioned before, is hit and miss; sometimes it evokes a good ghetto feel, but mostly its irritating -- jerky, quirky angles and really dull lingering facial closeups. The actors were marginal, though Letisha had her moments.
I'm not sure why the audience supposed to care about Curtis, he's a total screwup and the actor is entirely expressionless and not particularly funny or endearing. The directing doesn't help make you love him or hate him, even; I just wanted him to shut up and get shot already. I didn't care about his impotent vengeance when that rolled around. The completely predictable ending isn't credible at all. I'm not sure why we're supposed to believe that some erstwhile successful dealers he deposes are stupid enough to fall for his petty scams. "Oh, you just got out of jail and are on probation? Here's thousands of dollars worth of cocaine, go run it around the corner for me. Now don't steal from me, etc."
A good sex scene in the beginning gave me hope, but it was let down in the end. Handling of a rape scene was slightly eyebrow-raising, if only mildly interesting. There are better movies in this genre that don't insult your intelligence by trying for some kind of authentic ghetto realism while more resembling a film-school offering. 4/10, an F.
Storm Catcher (1999)
Things blow up nicely, but yech
Yet another military "thriller" featuring bizarre conspiracies, incomprehensible dialog and the generic bad guy with the faceless hordes of masked killers, but this one features lots of crying.
More of Dolph Lundgren's confident, braggadocio; it also features his famous American accent imitation -- which he does pretty well, in all seriousness. There are cool booms and blowups and lots of silenced machine guns, as well as ruthless killing to establish the unequivocally evil nature of the antagonists. All the super villain's minions have full facial masks, prompting a strong, yet unfulfilled, desire for Jack to don one himself when infiltrating the hideout. I also think there was a spot for an air-vent-crawling scene in here which went unexploited.
Completely transparent characters are featured (the true villain is easy to pick out soon after he or she walks on the screen). Kylie Bax plays Jessica, the "come to bed hun" wife, and apparently also has lumbar vertebrae made of solid steel. Little Nicole's tear ducts are pumping the entire movie, except in flashbacks. I hate to think what kind of method-acting preparation she had to go through to prepare for the fount of tears she was to gush during the shooting. All deleted scenes with her crying should, nay MUST, make it into the director's cut.
A dramatic scene featuring all of these points is the central scene of the movie. This is a tour-de-force of Hicox' directing skill; I'm fairly sure that critics and film schools will later all be discussing the seminal, genre-defying "I Need a Doctor!" scene. This features several angles of slow motion Jack dragging Jessica's limp body into the emergency room, led by a running, screaming, lachrymose Nicole. The echoey sound editing mimics the changes in speeds and angles, repeating Dolph's vowel-mashed "I need a doctor! Where's a doctor?!" for about five minutes while entering a doctorless emergency room through a series of three or four swinging double doors. No, it's not a dream, either. I'll leave the excitement of the hospital scenes that follow to the reader/viewer, as my words would ruin the surprise.
My response to the gut-wrenching "I Need a Doctor" scene: how could any producer allow the director to encourage the editor to waste this much time on film spinning his wheels?
It was fun in a gruesome way, but I don't want to watch it again.