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Reviews
I Saw What You Did (1965)
I SAW, AND THEN REGRETTED IT
The ever ghoulish crawford overacts her eyebrows off in this silly and banal "horror" flick. And playing herself--a sex craving, manipulative, fishwife--didn't make her performance any less strained. Wearing three wigs piled on top of each other and neck ornaments the size of boulders, she growls into her married neighbor's ear in an attempt to be 'seductive.' It's both grotesque and annoying to watch the very aged crawford prance around as the 'other female.' Then she paws at and pushes around one of the prank caller teenagers when she catches that teenager peering through said neighbor's house window, thinking the teenager is trying to replace her as a lover. Pathetic. I also feel sorry for that young actress who had to endure crawford's physical abuse and lacerating shrieks during filming. Eventually, she blackmails her murderous lover. Thankfully, though, we're relieved of her presence half way through the movie.....too bad that relief doesn't come sooner. The best part of the movie is watching crawford cave to the floor when the twitching, certifiable, and no longer married neighbor gives her the same business he gave his wife. After which the movie dissolves into a boring account of expected activity. And the ending is utterly preposterous, with the two prankster girls giggling on the front lawn in front of the one teenager's father and a police officer about the probability they will not be allowed to use the phone for a long time. This ridiculousness happens after the girls had been stalked and terrorized by the murderer. It makes clear Castle didn't know if he was making a horror movie, a cautionary tale, or a comedy.
Also, as horror movies go, this movie lacks mood and suspense. The pace is slow, and there isn't any riveting drama that bridges the area between the murders and the eventual stalking of the teenager. The scariest thing is creepy crawford, once again, "acting" a part for which she's thirty-five years too old.
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)
Oh, the fashion!
I'm one of those gals who's addicted to style. So I confess........I watched this movie for the fashion, which is positively stunning. Russell's and Monroe's clothing and jewelry are sublimely chic high fashion. The vibrant colors, rich textures, lovely lines, and gleaming stones and metals are mesmerizing. JR and MM are so striking, the costumes and jewels illuminate the two beauties rather than overpower them. I know Monroe's pink dress in the DAAGBF number has received most of the attention over the years, but my absolute favorite is Monroe's gorgeous orange beaded gown with scarf.
The plot is simple, and not terrifically riveting. However, Monroe skillfully plays her 'ditzy' role with charm and irony. And, no one can deny Monroe's poise and elegant movements. Russell also wonderfully plays her part as the smart, wisecracking, and more grounded friend. She also has an enchanting singing voice, as does MM, but I do find Russell's dancing rather clunky and graceless. That aside, the movie is an enjoyable escape with lively musical numbers and dazzling fashion.
Berserk (1967)
Far more funny than scary
In this hammy movie, old Crawford is bit*h slapping her employees and a photog away from her circus high-wire act who hanged himself in a 'not so accidental' freak accident. We're supposed to believe the newly hired young high-wire guy has the hots for old Crawford. Upon seeing the two together coupled with the riotously funny dialogue, I'm not sure which is bigger---the laugh or the skin crawl. The murders are preposterous, and the only scream worthy event in the movie is Crawford's terrible acting (not to mention her wardrobe). In one of the scenes, Crawford is wearing a green sequined flapper looking thing. The dress made her look like an alligator. The melodramatic ending is unintentionally hilarious, as is Crawford's stone faced performance. Crawford tries too hard to be convincing, and only comes across as wooden and brash. The dialogue is laugh out loud funny, and Crawford's delivery is snarky, barky, and loaded with malarkey. A horror flick doesn't necessarily have to be realistic to be good, just scary. But not only are the murders absurd, they would be impossible to carry out. And, the movie is padded with too many circus scenes. However, the movie is entertaining because of its high camp factor.