Change Your Image
Papa_Legpa
Reviews
Bloodlust! (1961)
Why didn't they just say "no" ?
This movie had me screaming at the screen. It was so frustrating.
There is almost nothing holding the 4 athletic kids in this "hunting game." Why do they agree to do it? They don't even say "no"!! THEY DON'T EVEN SAY "NO"!!! All they say is "you're crazy!" , "you'll never get away with this!", etc. Anything but..."no."
All they have to do is punch him. Just punch him. Hey, there's 4 of you! How about 1 punches? 2 grab him? Or 3 jump on him at once, while one grabs the gun out of his hand? How about...anything to defend themselves? How about at least saying "no"? Why are they so submissive?
"Now we're going to play a hunting game. I'm going to hunt you and kill you." "OK"
There were points in the movie when he didn't even have a weapon on them at all. At one point ALL FOUR OF THEM ARE HOLDING RIFLES, and they still do what he says.
The best part is the end. After these 4 clueless kids (actually, the girls do a good job of being clever and defending themselves) don't do anything to save themselves, one of the hunter's guards kills him.
Grabbing his damsel in distress, the young protagonist says something along the lines of "we're safe now. It's all over." My...hero?? He didn't even do anything!!
Now I'm dying to see the MST3K of this. Didn't know there was one.
Jordan
The Jerk, Too (1984)
Comedy minus the comedy
I can't believe this movie exists.
Me and my friends ran into it on TV and watched the whole thing.
This movie really does address problems of the first "Jerk". For example, the first Jerk didn't have enough silly crosseyed faces. Thankfully "the Jerk Too" makes up for this in plentiful amounts. Also the original "Jerk" had too many jokes. Luckily, "the Jerk Too" knows when to draw the line. The jokes fly by at about one every 20 minutes, whew, just enough time to catch your breath in between laughing so hard! At the crosseyed faces!
Why is this movie so dark? I don't mean grim or gothic. I mean they seemed to only have key lights and left out the fill lights. Every scene has pitch black backgrounds, where you can only see the actors in the foreground. Ever notice how movies with a lot of pitch black makes you want to go to sleep? Or at their best, make you feel like they are hiding something, something mysterious or scary. This is how the Jerk makes you feel -- sleepy and afraid.
The music is bizarre. The first half of the movie is a horrible 70s comedy soundtrack...wacky light hearted music that comes and goes whenever it feels like it. It usually covers up the long montages of city scapes that take up a lot of time in script-deprived films like this. BUT THEN the music starts turning more into an 80s sound...pumping bass and fake heavily reverbed drums. Very odd.
The most fascinating scene was the classic Hobos vs. Bum dramatic monologue towards the end of the movie. Sure, there aren't ANY jokes in this very long scene, SURE, it doesn't help further the plot, it has nothing to do with the main character, and it brings up issues that were otherwise completely absent from the rest of the film. But on it's own, without the context of the bad movie, it's a pretty interesting scenario. I just can't figure out what it's doing in this movie.
Basically when a bunch of hobos are together and planning a way to rescue the jerk, one hobo declares opposition to the plan. "Why should I help him, nobody helps us!" The lead hobo then goes on a VERY lengthy speech about the difference between a hobo and a bum. It is VERY repetitive and adds NOTHING NOTHING NOOOOOTHING to the film. IT'S SO WEIRD.
So to sum up : No jokes, no lights, a lot of "Hobo #3" character development in one scene.
Nukie (1987)
An ugly disturbing kids movie full of pain, suffering, and torture.
I completely agree with the other person who reviewed this movie. The reason I saw it was the same thing -- the box looked like it could be really funny and maybe have a few good absurd weird things in it. It turned out to be one of the most unpleasant maddening movies I have ever seen. I strongly reccommend that no parent ever show to this to their child. I can't imagine a normal child taking any joy out of this movie, because there IS no joy in this movie. The whole movie is about suffering. Nukie almost dies several times, and his brother is being tortured by scientists while he begs and cries in pain. This is suppossed to be a fun kids movie but there is nothing light-hearted about it. It is so intense and painful, only showcasing the miseries and trauma of life. Even more disturbing is it's strange political subtext. At one point in the movie, an African child and Nukie are in desperate need of aid. They are lost and tired and looking for America (this is where Nukie's brother is being "imprisoned.") The African child cries out "AMERICA! SAVE US!" Could this be a commentary on how America treats other nations, or "aliens"? What about the name, "NUKIE"? "Nuke"?
Only see this movie if you and friends are looking for absurd, kind of funny, yet painful puzzles to try and figure out (which is what I do)
Neighbors (1981)
Confusing and fascinating puzzle of a movie
I read all of the reviews here. Very interesting.
This is one of the most confusing movies I have ever seen. I could not stop punching the couch in frustration throughout the entire thing. I have never seen a movie that is so SUBTLY insane in my life. There is all this weird symbolism but you'd be damned to figure out what any of it means. Why is Jon Belushi's wife a Native American? Dan Ackyroyds character is a Nazi? You have no idea why anything is happening in this movie. There's no motivation or context or anything. It completely warps your brain.
My friend has seen this movie over 30 times and he still can't figure it out.
I would go on but a few people described it perfectly. The film wants to be sold as a wacky comedy (look at the box) but its just a huge mess. Only watch it if you are incredibly fascinated about what could have possibly gone so terribly wrong.
Blazing Stewardesses (1975)
Wretched, perplexing, wrinkly
Me and my friends rented this movie hoping for a mindless fun movie with maybe some cute women to look at. We were horribly horribly wrong. It wasn't until maybe half way through it that we realized what the problem was exactly. Clues : One of the women had the body of a 20 year old but the face of an 80 year old. Boring incredibly long masked horse rider scenes that seem unrelated to the actual movie (maybe we weren't paying enough attention to the plot but you shouldn't HAVE to in a movie like this!) The biggest clue of all was the appearance of the Ritz Brothers. I have not seen any of the Ritz Brother's early work. I had never heard of them before this movie. The Ritz Brothers make several cameo appearances in some of the most disgusting, painful, grotesque "comedy" routines ever put on film. Frankly I'm shocked the other reviewers here thought they were funny. The Ritz Brothers are two very old (VERY) men who just want to entertain the nice people! In the first scene we get to see one of the Ritz brothers bony wrinkly legs, thighs and all. We get to watch them eat a giant sandwich for a long time. The pinnacle of their grotesqueness is when the old Ritz Brother gets scrambled eggs all over his face. PICTURE IT. Eggs dripping down a whimpering old man's face. Does this make you laugh, or vomit? Rent Blazing Stewardess to find out.
Also rent Blazing Stewardesses if you want to see a big fat drunk guy have sex with a blow up doll in a scene that goes on for way too long.