Reviews

Let me start off with one thing. The "science" part is absolute nonsense. In each and every aspect throughout the flick. The fiction part is kind of bearable, although there's so much garbage in it, it's laughable at times. Like multidimensional aliens traveling at 1% of speed of light, but instantly sending modded photons to Earth and operating with data, measured in bytes. And as that is not hilarious enough, let's do our currently popular earthling thing and mock up conspiracies, do some virtue signaling, but bring cryonics as plausible scientific method. Well, I'll be damned.

Won't even open up on the nixie tube countdown "effect", that takes 60% of one's vision as it's ridiculous. Both visually and as a concept. Also ridiculous is the digital noise used to symbolize alien communication. And the cherry on top - the VR thing. Jesus! Who even needed this in the plot in the first place? Consumer VR's been physically around for 30+ years now; the concept for few more decades. Did we just find it's few centuries futuristic?

And there's an elephant in the room I need to address. Why was Clarence's son even featured as a character if his only purpose was to tell the viewer something no one cares about. That, he, literally another random halfbrained lazy unemployed brat, is also mohoxesual. Like yeah, okay mate, whatever, doesn't make you any less useless on global scale innit? Probably they should start with your spoiled generation, for all I care.

And yet, weirdly enough, it didn't annoy me as much as I expected another lousy book adaptation would do. Still, there's this hanging question. Why did not they just blow entire population's heads remotely via them sophons, instead of going through all the hassle? Would have had a clean and perfectly eco-friendly planet to enjoy upon arrival.

Who doesn't want another Money Heist spin-off, right? Especially if Netflix does not try to push their racial-sexual brainwash for once. Seems legit, right? Well yeah, it seemed legit for 3 episodes and then it all turned into a mish-mash of absurd, hollow side quests for the sake of filling up screen time, as instead of taking entire season, the heist actually ended halfway through it. And with that, the show turned into forced visual analysis of troubled characters in situations that would happen to no one in real life. Not ever. So instead of watching a properly planned and executed heist, where there is suspense and viewer is fed details on need to know basis, we have these long explanatory narratives, that go all through a Mission Impossible robbery plot by a team of twenty-something first-time amateurs who act like seasoned robbers -- space gear, pinpoint precision, flawless execution. Nothing in this was plausible, but that's minor once you realize the heist was just a mere prologue to all kinds of weird personal drama no one wanted, nor cared about. A drama sucked out of one's thumb for the sake of having script to fill remaining episodes. It would seem the show was written by a chick lit trained AI - that's how disconnected from reality each and every character and how ridiculous everything that happens on screen is.

I really hate book adaptations. These are hard to make right. And sci-fi book adaptations are the worst to portray. Have not read the books, so I'm pretty unbiased here and only base my opinion on what's on screen.

I'm kind of tired of this popular trend that takes on isolated groups and illustrates crowd dynamics and control. In a dystopian kind of world. Fun fact: every world is dystopian, if you look at it under certain angle. Fun fact: there is no such thing as democracy and power to the people. Fun fact: you will deny latter just because you can't bear the thought. Fun fact: people in charge don't care about you, they are there to make sure it all works smoothly. Fun fact: that does not necessarily make them villains. Fun fact: there's always worse. Fun fact: people are best controlled with fear. That's all this flick is about. Along some uninteresting personal filler stories. It's all seemingly connected but so vaguely and so superficial. Yet it is not as unbearable, as I expected.

Ever since the first episode I suspected they poison ones that go out but I was leaning towards gas agent. But tape? That makes no sense in real world. It only makes sense if you need to hook it up to distant plot feature. And honestly, I couldn't even comprehend the hologram. Because, again, it's nothing more than a twist for the sake of having a twist, as it serves no real purpose whatsoever. Neither could I comprehend the purpose of that "truth" badge. And some other things. It's all just super naive and, unfortunately, to certain extent, shallow.

Contrary to what one may think for well over an hour, this flick soon proves it is neither crime, nor science fiction. Instead, it's a manifesto. And a pretty peculiar one.

Chubby, repulsive bl4ck girl is sent from the future to kill wh1te suprem4cists, because... actually it doesn't really matter. /insert random reason, pulled out of one's 4ss, it wouldn't change a thing. That's the whole plot.

The movie literally legalizes the idea that mass murdering of people who don't conform to someone's point of view, essentially if they are wh1te, is not just okay but a form of civil duty. Hell, even our protagonist got g4slighted in the final moments.

As usual, just a Netflix thing.

The FFM screenwriter team presents yet another movie that would make zer0 sense in the real world. Starring angry, confused woman on a killing spree, who teaches 12 year old girl how to kill people for no reason at all, this way compensating leaving her to foster family long ago or whatever. The girl visually looks like a kid with subp4r IQ but figures out of thin air this is her actual mother and quickly starts acting like spo1led little br4t. Our w0man of power possesses an arsenal Ze1ensky would once more r1m B1den for and kills dozens of trained men all over the map, Cuba included. In this little international hit and run bonanza, she is assisted by another min0rity representative, who is actually an FBI agent but does not hesitate to pull the trigger just because, so it's all just a Rambo sequel with slightly fluffy fe male protagonist. And after all the B L M stuff, quotas and all, the bl4ck man dies in the middle of the movie, like in the good ole times. Splendid. Essentially, this is a movie about the power of one tr4umat1zed psych0tic woman, which extends her anger beyond applicable laws. But then again, what would you expect from Netflix.

Laughed at the trailer and thought I'll never watch this, but the lack of sci-fi is as bad, I forced myself to do so. Opening "space" animation is so cheaply and unrealistically done, it's probably AI generated. Right after, one is greeted by three actors that look so artificial and out of place, they complement the AI vibe. And to make it even less plausible, a short narrative is displayed, claiming eons before mankind was created, there is this interracial family on a distant planet, that speaks English and acts so bizarely with each other, one starts to question their general intelligence. And that is not unsubstantiated further on in the movie, as daughter's lines kind of hint she sees certain challenges, but there is no wonder, considering Adam Driver is the father. Anyway, back to the family scene, there is nothing one could qualify as sense of attachment or any kind of heartfelt emotions in pictured family. Instead, it becomes apparent in this day and age, when space travel is like taking the bus and there are pulse rifles, cryo technology and insta-cure medkits, there is no cure to certain illnesses and one needs to splash tons of money just to keep their kid alive for a little longer. Uh-huh, it would seem USA existed way before human race.

Fast forward through another hilarious animation. Ship computer talks gibberish to itself while everyone is asleep, for no reason at all. Cool. Disaster strikes *unexpectedly*, our yet nameless protagonist puts on his space suit and oh, boy, oh, boy, I've never seen a helmet this crooked in a space movie. So crooked, they had to turn its top light less than a minute later, just to fool the viewer it is not made by some illegal immigrant or child sweathouse down Asia. Rest is as fast-forwardable, as it gets and the whole movie is so bad on so many levels, one decides to have a look at writer/director team and finding out these come as a pack, resorts to thinking this screen nonsense is just another product of inclusion quota. 45 million well spent, rainbow people rejoice. Bravo.