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bhardesty
Reviews
Slaughtered Vomit Dolls (2006)
Tylenol should sponsor this "film"
I still have the headache that this puke-fest induced. So many others have already commented on SVD very accurately. SVD lacks focus and continuity, editing is seizure inducing and the audio will have you looking for the Tylenol 3 bottle in about 10 minutes.
If you watched the movie, you might be a gore fan, puke fan, titty fan, a grungy hooker with bulimia fan...anyway, the point is, we like this sort of thing. We look for over-the-top subjects. We look to be shocked. That really doesn't happen with this ditty.
I think, and as others here have said, it would work much better at about 20 minutes in length. The show takes too long to end. Backward audio and pot-banging sounds just assault your skull. Really, this movie is just awful...and I like gore and the odd and the over-the-top, but this just blows.
The Bonesetter (2003)
I'm forgiving but not stupid...
This "MOVIE" adds nothing to the genre, looks horrible,is bland, slow and boring. It's not scary at all. The acting is terrible. The "effects" and makeup are blah. I give any filmmaker credit for doing the work and getting their stuff out for people to see. I've never made a movie but damn, man this is really no good. Don't waist any time or money on this. I wish my review was more enlightening and in-depth but I don't have much to work with here.
I think I got this from a Brentwood collection for like a couple of bucks, and I'm still angry that I spent money on it. I am even struggling to write more about the movie. I am at a loss.
Frankenstein's Great Aunt Tillie (1984)
Not worth the plastic it's printed on!!!!!!!!1
I swear I thought someone put acid in my drink when this little nugget got rolling. I'm even a little ashamed that I'm taking the time to write about this flick. I haven't looked for this title as an individual product and I got this through a Brentwood collection for like $4.00. If it is available as a stand alone DVD, they should be paying the customer to take this crap away. I think this DVD would fail as a coaster. Stay away from this Great Aunt. She sucks big time.
Oh yeah, this movie is terrible...and not in a good way.
Actually I don't think anyone in this gem knew what the thing was about. I don't think they cared. There isn't one thing in this DVD (since I can't call it a "film" anymore without throwing up in my mouth)that provides it any redemption. Don't even watch it for giggles, you won't giggle at all.
Unspeakable (2000)
Sick, could use a bit more cash thrown at it , but gooooood
I literally stumbled upon this little indie gem when I slipped on the case in the video store. I hadn't heard a thing about this movie and bought it b/c it was cheap and from Troma. What a discovery! If you like twisted, you got it. Let's imagine a home health worker enjoying the watery bowel movement of a mutilated and paralyzed patient, while performing cunnilingus on her. Perhaps you would enjoy a bit of incest. Throw in a pimp named "Hell" and some guy named "Tard" with a splash of forced oral sex in front of a little kid and you have a really sweet Troma pot pie.
With a bit more cash and a better effects crew, this movie would smoke a lot of movies out there. Actually, I think it does already. The story is actually smart and the production cost - to - final product ratio is great.
Give this one a look.
A little about the acting: The lead guy: Looks like he needs some Exlax. Poor acting and he has an annoying look (face). He kinda reminds me of Gomer Pyle. The home health aid: ROOOOOCKS! Sick and twisted redneck. The mutilated wife: Thank god she doesn't speak after the first five minutes! The pimp named "Hell": Awwww Yeahhh!
Just watch it...if you're sick like me.