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GeoffreyR
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Oliver Twist (2005)
Diary of a wimpy kid
I love Charles Dickens and I really wanted to like this movie. After all, there are plenty of things to like. Ben Kingsley is awesome as Fagin, Bill Sykes is threatening without overplaying it, Harry Eden is a great Artful Dodger and the story has its touching moments.
But in order for Oliver Twist to be great, you need a great Oliver Twist. I'm sure Barney Clark is a very nice young man. He's definitely trying to make the best out of it, and he definitely has potential as an actor. But his portrayal of Oliver doesn't cut it for me. He is just way too depressing. He spends about the first hour of the movie crying, begging and/or fainting. We don't get to know his motivations, his desires or his goals. He's just there to take a boatload of misery, but I just don't care what happens to him. Character development comes from within, and this just wasn't the case for Oliver.
I like the 1968 musical a lot better, because Mark Lester plays a much more endearing and pro- active Oliver. To me, this version seemed more like "Diary of a wimpy kid" (literally). I know this 2005-version is a lot of people's favorite, but I found it too melodramatic and over-the-top depressing. Too bad, because the potential was there.
A Christmas Carol (1984)
An awesomely inspiring movie
Charles Dickens told a timeless tale that touches the viewer on so many levels, and this version is so wonderfully faithful to it. George C. Scott is just perfect for the part of Scrooge and all the supporting actors do such a marvelous job. This adaptation never feels preachy or "sugary sweet", in fact: we witness a great story about the consequences of our actions.
The inspiring thing about this movie is: there's a little bit of Scrooge in every one of us. Scrooge isn't an evil man. He has just put his feelings so far away because it's the easy way. And isn't that how it goes for a lot of people? How many of us just walk down the street without even saying a word to anyone they encounter? How many of us live the same day every day because god forbid something exciting would happen to them? It's much easier to be like Scrooge and not to care about anything in the whole world. But as soon as you start caring, really caring, you can make wonderful things happen. Then you suddenly have the power to brighten up someone's day, to spread merry feelings to the people around you and to create some happy memories for yourself at the same time.
That's what this movie is about to me, and that's why I love it so much. If even a miserable man as Ebenezer Scrooge can be changed, imagine the possibilities for each and everyone of us :).
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (2008)
Through the eyes of a child...
As I write this, it's ten minutes after shutting off the DVD. I'm still a bit shaky from this movie experience, but I'll just try to recapture it as good as I can. I'm afraid I'll have to include some spoilers, so if you haven't seen the movie yet, I recommend you see it as soon as possible before reading on.
The true theme in this movie are these two young boys who are unable to grasp the vast evil they are experiencing. The movie doesn't even start that dark at all. It's just children playing, having faith that the world can't ever harm them. And as Bruno befriends this Jewish boy Shmuel, they both can't grasp the seriousness of the situation. The key scene in this movie is where Bruno puts on prison clothes to help Shmuel find his father. If only they would have known, Bruno could have saved his friend.
This is World War II through the eyes of children. They really resemble our own thoughts when they think people can't possibly harm other people like that. They have unlimited faith in the grown ups who are supposed to keep them safe, and even if bad things happen to them, they think it just belongs that way.
When the end credits came, I just sat there... tears in my eyes. The boy in the striped pyjamas did something to me that no other movie has ever done before: it made me ashamed to be a grown-up.
Plan 9 from Outer Space (1957)
Amateurish... but fun!
Technically, Plan 9 is completely amateurish of course. The props are bad, the acting is cheesy, the effects are cheap and the whole plot is as thin as the wires used to keep the flying saucers in the air.
And still, this movie is very fun to watch. The story feels like an episode of a really campy sci-fi show and requires absolute no brains to follow. As a horror movie it completely failed, but you can still see it as a horror spoof and have an entertaining night. And if a movie is able to entertain you, how can it ever be considered the worst movie ever?
In truth, Plan 9 has some sort of sincerity over it. It feels like a school play and it's a tribute to all those people who ever shot home-made flicks with their friends. Ed Wood is really just a 10-year-old running around with his camera and having tremendously fun in the process. It's like a school play, in which the cast and crew really don't have that much experience but still a lot of enthusiasm for making movies.
In short: as bad as it is, it still puts a smile on your face. That's what lifts this movie to a higher Plan :).
Hancock (2008)
What a waste!
If you have a movie that stars both Will Smith and Charlize Theron, you really can't go wrong, can you? Well... you can, obviously, and this movie proves it. The only criteria for a blockbuster movie is that it needs to be entertaining. And you know what, for 45 minutes or so, it is. Will Smith is playing his role on auto-pilot but the effects are good and the story about Hancock's change of image is amusing enough. If only the movie would have been this long, I could have give it a 6 or 7.
But in the second half, when they try to give Charlize Theron's character some romantic depth, the movie sinks faster than the Titanic. That woman won her Oscar by playing a psychopathic monster, what do you expect?! And on top of that, the story completely derails as twist after twist unfolds. The ending leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth. My god, if you have a superhero movie, have the decency to put at least ONE epic fight in it! This movie sucks, it's such a waste of time and the actors' talent! My advice: rent it, watch the first 45 minutes for a few giggles and then shut it off!
Gigli (2003)
What this movie is about...
Okay, so this movie is about a guy with an unpronounceable name who puts another guy in a laundry machine because he has some money that belongs to yet another guy. And then this guy who is in the laundry machine gets scared and he goes like "no I don't have the money" and the guy says "yes you do have the money" and the other guy says "no I don't have the money" and the guy says "How do you want your laundry program?" and the other guy says "Ok, I do have the money." And then the first guy gets the money and gives it to some kind of mafia guy and he acts like a pussy because he's sorry that he didn't get the whole money. So the mafia guy tells the other guy to kidnap a retarded guy who eats sunflower seeds and wants to be in Baywatch but he doesn't look like the guy with the red swimming shorts. And then the guy takes the retarded guy for a drive and then he talks in a flashlight and goes "uh-oh, the Baywatch is closed" and then they drive to the guy's apartment. And then the retarded guy says "I want to go home", but the guy says "you can't go home" and the retarded guy says "I want to go home" and the guy says "you can't go home". And then the doorbell rings and there's a guy - no wait, a girl who wants to use the phone. And the guy says "you can't use the phone" and the girl says "but I need to use the phone" and the guy says "you can't use the phone" and the girl says "I need to use the phone" and then the guy says "ok". So the girl uses the phone and the guy gets all horny and asks "do I know you?" The end.
Okay, this wasn't really the end, but the other 120 minutes were so stupid that I couldn't watch anymore. In fact, it's even more stupider than my synopsis above. Stay away from it!
See No Evil (2006)
Hollow and empty...
Yeah, I do know the genre and I am aware of the fact that B-movies aren't the best movies in the world, but there are only two words to describe this one: hollow and empty.
The main problem is that it's virtually impossible to care about the characters. Most of the characters in this movie are just meat, to be finished off in a very gory way. They're your typical inmates: foul-mouthed and self-centered. I for myself couldn't care less who would survive or not. Kane's character was a completely uninteresting killer. I mean, come on: even in a B-movie you should be able to put some sense to his actions. The main message he had was "growl, I'm gonna kill you cause I'm ugly and my childhood sucked!" He's really just a random bad guy.
The only thing that kept this movie going for me was the gore. The death scenes were kind of okay with the right amount of painful experiences for our "heroes". One of them gets a particularly funny death (no, I'm not gonna spoil that one). But in a horror movie, I do expect some tension and some scares too. And that's what See No Evil lacks.
Conclusion: if you expect a decent horror flick, don't watch this movie. And even if you like B-films because you're amused by bad acting and illogical plots, don't watch this one either. See No Evil is not scary, not funny, not interesting and not worth your time. It's nothing.
Minotaur (2006)
For your lazy Saturday night
Ah, Minotaur... saw this movie in my TV-guide on a lazy Saturday night. The review that came with it wasn't that good, but I had nothing better to do. So I just gave it a go.
Surprisingly, the story kept me entertained for the whole 90 minutes. Tony Todd was a real treat and you could see the actors were really trying to make something out of it. Sure, it's a B-movie and sure, it's going straight to DVD. But if you just watch it without too many expectations and without caring too much about plot holes, you'll have an entertaining night.
Special effects weren't that good, but the ancient atmosphere and camera work made up for that. Unfortunately, the Minotaur himself was too robotic for my taste. That took a little bit of the magic away.
Conclusion: Minotaur is a very approachable myth/monster movie that you can just pick up in the video store, or watch whenever it comes on TV. It's a fun way to spend a lazy Saturday night :).
Evan Almighty (2007)
A worthy sequel!
I didn't really know what to expect from this movie. I had some good laughs with Bruce Almighty, which was a pretty extravagant movie. However, the character Evan Baxter didn't really appeal to me in Bruce. And really: sequels are usually a lot worse than the original concepts.
However, I enjoyed this movie thoroughly, and that's mainly because of the much lighter approach. Bruce had a lot of embarrassing jokes (the 'monkey in the ass' gag being the worst), but Steve Carrell is just entertaining without being offensive. His reactions to everything that's happening are really funny and the whole biblical thing being converted to modern times ('Ark building for dummies!') makes me smile too. But there's still enough space for the more serious plot of the man standing up for what he believes is true, which carries the movie to a higher level than Bruce.
Are there some downsides too? Yes, there are. The family-acting could be a lot better and Morgan Freeman should have gotten more screen time, but overall I just had a good evening and that's what it's all about. Evan Almighty is a worthy sequel, and God has nothing to be ashamed of :).
P.S.: don't walk away immediately when the movie is finished. The dancing-video in the subtitles is hilarious!
Family Plan (1997)
Pretty good family movie!
Alright, I'm going to give this a 10 out of 10, just to counter some of the ridiculous reviews that this movie got on IMDb. It looks like some people saw this movie with the wrong expectations, really. If you expect something like Naked Gun or Airplane (which are great Nielsen-movies too, by the way), sure, you'll be disappointed. Cause the joke-density isn't nearly as high, all jokes are PG-rated and thus less appealing to the more mature audience and Nielsen's character sometimes even seems to know what he's talking about rather than acting like a complete clown.
But that's because Family Plan is a whole different movie! It's a family movie, not one of those slapstick that we all know Nielsen from! And sure, I know movies in this genre aren't popular with the 'serieus film critics', but I enjoyed it! I really did! The whole cast is showing a lot of enthusiasm and Trevor Morgan and Zachary Browne are doing a great job at portraying two mischievous kids who still have their hearts in the right place.
Family Plan is really a movie that you can just watch with a smile on your face the whole time, rather than being buried under an avalanche of jokes. I like the fact that it never goes slapstick and that there's enough space for the touching story of two boys looking for a home. So what that the story isn't that original, and that it's not Nielsen's best work. I enjoyed it from the beginning to the end, and that's what you should judge a movie on!