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behavedave66
Reviews
The Holiday (2006)
As challenging as a 1 piece jigsaw
2 girls having men problems swap houses on either side of the Atlantic. They each meet men who are nice, unlike their previous scoundrels of boyfriends. They fall in love. They live happily.
It might just be me but that really doesn't seem worthy of a film. And it's not a short film either- oh no! 2 hours plus to basically give you nothing more than you'd get from the blurb on the back of the DVD. Basically the only plot conundrum is whether Amanda leaves to go back home or stays with her new man. Quite frankly who cares. This film needs a car chase.
Don't watch if: expecting drama, action, tension, suspense, excitement. Watch if: trying to win favour with the other half by watching a girlie film. Or if every other film in history has been deleted.
A History of Violence (2005)
If only they looked out for their own
A number of the scenes in A History of Violence discuss a concept of looking out for one's own.
Firstly Jake, the son, is threatened in the locker room after making the vital catch to win the baseball game. Jake is completely submissive in order to avoid a fight with the school bully, whose nose has been put out of joint by this. Surely at this point, Jake's team mates should have been at his shoulder defending their match-winning hero from an aggressive bad loser? The theme continues with the local Police Officer, Sam, who repeatedly assures Tom that "we look after our own here"- a sentiment that maybe he has never been used to in the past- but one which his son Jake clearly understands.
When Fogarty arrives at Tom's house, Tom tells his wife and son to go inside; "I'll take them" he claims. The result is that despite seeing off one hired thug, he is left on the floor at the mercy of an armed Fogarty. It is only the actions of his son, who has ignored his father's please to leave him and instead picks up a shotgun and shoots Fogarty, which saves Tom's life.
As the film unwinds we learnt the family secret that is behind Tom's shady past. In his former life as Joey, Tom had a violent past and terrible track record, which had reflected badly on Joey's brother Richie (in gangland mob boss terms) and prevented him from being given as much power and success as he wanted. At this point, surely (given my understanding of gansters' traditional sense of family, taken from Godfather, The Krays and Eastenders...) Richie should have stood side by side with his brother and "looked out for his own". But again, he didn't and instead tried to have him killed. Disgusting.
The final scene when Tom returns home to a family dinner reinforces this idea of close knit family security. So ultimately, family comes first and don't stand by while your mates get bullied.
9 Songs (2004)
Sex, drugs and rock and roll
Right, I'll attempt to explain the plot... Do try and keep up, it can get tricky.
9 Songs tells the story of a relationship through the couple's shared experiences of gigs and sex. They go to a gig, the come home and have sex. Pretty explicit sex. They go to another gig, they come home and have sex. They go a lap-dancing bar. She comes home and masturbates. Another gig. Oral sex. Hold on a minute, isn't that penis ERECT? Oh my god he just ejaculated everywhere. Did the BBFC actually bother watching this film? Another gig. More sex- Crikey, they are actually doing it. Another gig. She leaves him to go back to America so he goes to Antarctica. (that old cliché...) I'm not going to tell you to avoid this film, but in truth it isn't great. The most complex element of the film is that he's fallen in love with her but she's refuses to let her guard down and the relationship dies.
Essentially this is porn interspersed with gig footage. I saw it on sale in HMV for £20 and the only recommendation I will give is that that is FAR, FAR too expensive as it can be found much cheaper at the click of a mouse. If you want porn, there's much better stuff everywhere on the net and if you want a full-on rocking music film, this probably isn't it as some of the bands don't actually sound that good live.
Best watched when: you and your girlfriend have got the house to yourself and some chocolate body paint.
Don't watch when: entertaining parents, children or The Pope.
Dr. Giggles (1992)
Subtle as a clown fight
It truly pains me to give this such a low score out of ten, but please bear in mind that this does not tell the whole story here...
Dr Giggles is a B movie slasher pic which takes every opportunity to deliver a gruesome death by involuntary medical procedure, accompanied by a feeble hospital related pun.
Being honest, this film deserves no more than 3 out of ten on a good day, but THAT IS NO REASON NOT TO SEE IT!!! It's just one of those films that you have to be in the right mood and with the right people: so maybe it's not a "Christmas Day after the Queen's speech" type film, but at 2am after 9 pints and a pickled egg, Dr Giggles truly comes into its own.
Dr Giggles is a bit like eating at KFC really. Not very original and surprisingly poor quality, yet it leaves you feel dirty and ashamed for enjoying it so much.
Stay (2005)
Should I 'Stay' or should I stab my eyes out with a spoon?
I really did think this film was pointless. The storyline is presented in a visually intriguing way, with repeated themes in the background, people, images etc. However narratively Stay builds itself up into a frenzy of confusion which won't leave you with any significant answers at the end.
I guess that's the point of the film, in that it questions the sanity of the main protagonists. Whoopie-do, some shrink's gone a bit bananas. If you want uncomfortable mental health issues unfolding in front of your eyes, why not watch Vanessa Feltz on Celebrity Big Brother? Or Memento.