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Reviews
Corner Gas (2004)
You think there's not a lot going on...
But look closer baby, you're so wrong. This show is everything a sitcom should be. The entire cast is at the top of their game. Possibly the only people doing better than the actors are the writers. It's smart and true. I can watch it over and over again.
Corner Gas Animated (2018)
A Wonderful Reboot!
I had reservations about revisiting one of my favourite casts of characters. Corner Gas-the original series-is one of the best series to come out of Canada and I was afraid that an animated attempt four years later would be nothing but a chase grab. I was afraid they would ruin it. Corner Gas Animated lives up to the standard of writing that we have come to expect from Butt and his team. It's a lot of fun and I am grateful to have them back! Janet Wright is missed, but Emma LeRoy is well-played by Wright's friend, Corrine Koslo, and it still feels like family.
About Alex (2014)
The Lesser Chill
I would like to start by saying that the dialogue was—for the most part—well written, the characters were good, and the actors were really good. It sounds like a good movie right? Well, it would have been if it hadn't all been done before. I mean REALLY ALL BEEN DONE BEFORE.
The Big Chill was the aftermath of a suicide in a group of college friends. The same thing here except he didn't succeed. Both characters are even named Alex! Several of the characters are carbon copies of Big Chill characters. One of the characters in About Alex is SO similar to a character in The Big Chill that they even dressed him the same right down to the horn rimmed glasses and THEN went out and found the actor that most resembled the original—Jeff Goldblum —cast member!! It was laughable! I've never experienced anything like this before. Some of the conversations were direct lifts as well regarding music of eras past. One cast member even refers to movies from the eighties. Unbelievable! The only way to logically explain it is that someone (the writer? the director?) wanted to remake The Big Chill but couldn't get the rights. So the changed as much as they had to for legal reasons. The movie closes with a flashback of the group meeting for the first time. Lawrence Kasdan also fined this scene but cut it from his film. I found myself enjoying that because I had always wanted to see that scene in The Big Chill. By the time I reached the end, the two were almost interchangeable. Oh, one more thing, the group shot at the end of About Alex i the same as the group shot on the cover of the video box for The Big Chill. Unreal.
The Adventures of Tintin (2011)
Boring and Predictable.
The animation in Tin Tin is exceptional. Very impressive; however, that does not a movie make. My uncle is a really, really snappy dresser but one of the most boring public speakers that I've ever heard even though he looks good. The same thing applies here. There is very little plot and almost no dialogue. The whole movie is a chase scene. Did you see Casino Royale? It opened with that fantastic chase scene between Bond and the Haitian? It was riveting! They were up and down construction equipment, flying through and over walls, it was breathtaking. Tin Tin is that scene for a whole movie and while that might seem like a compliment, it is not. Twenty minutes into the movie you find yourself saying, "Enough already...okay...I get it..." It got very old, very quickly. I found my mind wandering and looking at the animation of the ocean and the boats and other things that were well done. Boring, boring, boring. Kids will probably like it but that doesn't make it a good movie. Go watch a Pixar movie again.
Psycho (1998)
Because, that's why...
I get a lot of flack for my opinion of this film. Not only do I think that it is a good film, I think that it is an important one. As a film buff, since I was a child I have always wondered, "What if (insert title here) was filmed today?" I'd bet that we all have. This film needed to be made, to answer that question. Not only does it answer a lot of questions about film making but it took a lot of balls to make it. Having sad that, it doesn't need to be done again. All of the performances are top notch but it is hard to see that because of the nature of the film. The cinematography is great. The music is great (it always was! Lol). This film should be respected and seen the way it was meant to be seen. We understand that because of the smart sense of humour of Mr Van Sant. In the original film we see Mr Hitchcock outside Marion's office. In this film we see him still but lecturing, directing Mr Van Sant. Brilliant. This film is an exception and I respect the film makers for making it. I give it an 8 out of 10 but a 10 out of 10 for guts.
Mulligans (2008)
Oh Boy...
I have a lot of mixed feelings about this movie. First off, there aren't enough gay movies around (I live in Toronto and if I can't get them here...) and I'm always excited about seeing them and promoting them; however, this is a terrible movie with a couple of highlights. Dan Payne is one of them. He is very good and while there are parts of the script that he gets mired down in, he manages to out act anybody else in this fiasco.
The script is awful. The ideas are sound but the dialogue is choppy and laughable. Thea Gill might be the worst actress I've seen in a long time. Her melodramatics are only emphasised by the bad script and the soap opera music score. Every time someone says or does anything that might be slightly hinting at homosexuality we are bombarded by a heavy-handed strum of the guitar and don't forget the obligatory music video/montage sequence. Sheesh.
The ideas are thoughtful and well intended but I don't want to like this movie in a desperate grasp for movies that identify our culture. I think that we need more than this. This movie is trying to be high culture but its coming off as an ABC Sunday Night Movie. Maybe we've hit a point where we are getting good and bad movies. Straight people get shitty movies; I guess we do too.
The Wolfman (2010)
Could Have Been...
This film is a would have, could have, should have been. This has always been a wonderful story among the Gothic romances (the three standouts being Dracula, Frankenstein, and Wolfman) but definitely the most difficult one to interpret. The Gothic romantic horrors are difficult as they are overblown and melodramatic. Writing these can come off as laughable soap opera all too easily. They are love stories first and foremost with antiheroes in the forefront. Our romantic lead turns into a wolf and eats people (hardly a winning quality on Lavalife) yet we are to root for him and the tragedy that has befallen him. In this film we do. The script is weak to be sure but it is strong enough and held up by a stellar cast (although I think that Anthony Hopkins only plays Hannibal Lechter anymore) that we do want the Wolfman to overcome and win. Visually, the movie is spectacular. It is beautiful to watch. So what's wrong? It's boring. This movie is flawed. In spite of all that I have said it fails to grip you. There is no tension. It is overlong and tedious. At it's best, it is visually stimulating but at it's worst, it is celluloid Nyquil. Too bad. Could have been great.
The Next Best Thing (2000)
Un fortunately, 1 is the lowest that I can rate a film on IMDb...
There are many films that I have rated 1 out of 10 that do not deserve the shame of being equated with this film. I am a very ardent Madonna fan; however, this is easily the worst film that I have ever seen. The script and the performances were so bad in spots that I felt nauseous with embarrassment. I couldn't look at the screen. My eyes went south and I was left with Madonna's voice sounding through the screen slipping nightmarishly in and out of a British accent. The plot was poor to begin with but the film was so badly put together that large time lapses left you confused and disoriented. Friends-jump-lovers-jump-enemies-jump-court-jump-friends-huh? what? Do yourself a favour- never, ever, ever watch this film. Unless you've always wondered, just how bad a movie can be. For all of those films that I've rated with one star (Xanadu, JAWS:The Revenge, etc...), I'm sorry; you are much better than this film.
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004)
Pleasant Surprise!
My own personal favourite sub-genre of film is "Animals Eating People". I don't know if that is an actual sub-genre but that is what I call it. The best of it's kind being JAWS (of course) and others if it's ilk being Piranha, Alligator, Lake Placid, The Edge, and Anaconda.
I enjoyed Anaconda but surprisingly, this film, which is a sequel in title only really, is a much better film. There are tighter suspense sequences, reasonable acting, and good visual effects. I tend to be fonder of anamatronic effects over CGI but these are pretty good. The original Anaconda had pretty good anamatronic snakes but just because of the nature of the animal, they looked a bit hokey. They might have been scary if you were scared of snakes but otherwise they looked like big Muppet snakes who cracked up into big smiles every time they attacked.
The CGI here lends itself to visually ridiculous touches like big fangs on snakes that don't naturally have big teeth but if you can watch this movie at all, you will suspend your disbelief. Good fun, good thrills, no Oscars. Enjoy.
Shutter Island (2010)
Rarely Have So Many Toiled For So Little...
My subject line is taken from a review of Exorcist II: The Heretic but I have not come across a film to which it applied so aptly until now. I went to see this movie with expectations aplenty. An excellent cast and a tried and true director. The cinematography was good, the performances were good; therefore, I put all of the fault in the director. NOTHING HAPPENED. It was tedious and boring. I figured out the ending in the first five minutes which was ridiculously contrived and about as new and refreshing as the plot of a Friday the 13th movie. I expressed my feelings to my dad who told me that the book was exactly the same. Maybe Scorcese was true to the book which makes me wonder why they made it into a movie at all?! 40 minutes into the film I was trying to find enough light in the theatre to reflect in my watch so that I could see how long I had been sitting there- that's never a good sign. Avoid this one at all costs unless you are desperate to cure your insomnia.
Halloween II (2009)
Watching this is more painful than dying at Myers' hand
I am a man who has watched and owned a lot of bad movies. JAWS 4, Friday the 13th Part 8, Pirhana II, etc... My point is that a movie has to be pretty bad for me not to enjoy it. My friend and I have a gauge to ranking how good a movie is: How far into a movie are you before you look at the counter to see how far into it you are. I looked at the clock at 6 minutes. This movie is truly awful. I TURNED IT OFF at 17 minutes!! I almost never turn off anything. Don't watch this movie. If anyone in Hollywood is listening, "Take this franchise away from Rob Zombie!!" I think that we've learnt something here. If you are named after a dead person, you will direct like one. I have to stop thinking about this film; I'm feeling nauseous.
Licence to Kill (1989)
Definitely The Worst Bond Film
I'm seeing a lot of reviews here for this film as a great Bond film by people who are admittedly not Bond fans. People who are saying that it is devoid of double entendres, gadgets, world domination plot lines, etc... In fact, all of the things that make a Bond film a Bond film. That means that it is a terrible Bond film. They are missing the point entirely. It's like reviewing a musical with no songs and calling it refreshing. Wake up! As for Timothy Dalton as Bond... Mr Dalton is a very good actor; however, he is completely lacking the charisma needed to play Bond. One could argue that it is a good action film but really, it could be any action film and that is exactly what's wrong with it. I don't buy Dalton as Bond- he could be anyone. There are no 'Bondesque' qualities to the story line. This could be any drug dealer, Die Hard, Dirty Harry, etc... The ONLY thing that hints at Bond is the surprisingly excellent score by Michael Kamen. Kamen has always produced excellent scores and he, quite smartly, kept the 007 themes in high profile throughout the film. Good actors, good production values just not a Bond film.
Ed Gein: The Butcher of Plainfield (2007)
boring........zzzzz.......zzzzz......zzzzz.....
The story of Ed Gein is a disturbing and terrifying story. Ed was truly a messed up character and his legacy went on to inspire such 'greats' as The Tooth Fairy, Norman Bates, and Leatherface. How is it then that such a fascinating man has inspired such a boring melodramatic piece of drivel?? Ed Gein made belts out of nipples, bowls out of skulls, lamps out of skin, danced around under the moon in suits of human skin. None of this made it into the movie because they needed to give us a fictitious story of a ridiculously awful deputy and his rather homely, sex-starved girlfriend. This movie seemed to go out of its way to falsify history. What baffles me is that most movies stray from the path of truth to exaggerate history; this one seems to do it to minimize it. I just don't get it.
The Boys in the Band (1970)
Gays Of Our Lives?
There seems to be a common theme in reviews of this film. Are the characters true to life or not? Are they cliché or not? Well, they're both. Let's not forget: clichés are clichés for a reason! My problem with this film is not whether or not I will be tripping over Michaels at the local gay bar or should I live in fear that I may bump into a Harold (because having just watched the film, I have to tell you I'd rather eat dirt than have to sit five minutes with that insufferable turd) in the 'gaybourhood' but rather that the whole thing seemed forced. The actors did a splendid job with what they were given but the dialogue is overly melodramatic. The direction is heavy-handed. These things companied with the maudlin 'telephone game' that is the second half of the film force the whole project to collapse under its own weight. I appreciate that the film stood for something in it's day and it doesn't fall into the two worst pitfalls of gay cinema (see my review of Poster Boy) although that's mostly due to the era; however, the film borderlines on the ludicrous in the last half. The beginning- not so bad.
Poster Boy (2004)
Bright beacon in a sea of bad gay films
Too often in gay cinema, Films loose their way in two ways. Plots and characters get lost in a desperate and schlocky attempt to prove just how gay a film can be. A serious attempt at film making is often lost in a need to be gay and throws in unnecessary and explicit love scenes and nudity for no other reason than to remind the viewer that the characters are indeed homosexual. The other way (the worse of the two in my opinion) is that there seems to be this rule that many film makers have that you can not make a serious film about gay men without one of them dying of AIDS. I applaud Poster Boy for not falling into either of these traps. The lead male characters are unquestionably homosexual without being explicit yet without losing their sexuality and none of the gay men die of aids nor are they HIV positive. There is a character who is HIV positive whom we are told dies of AIDS but it is not pivotal to the plot and it is a straight woman. The film does not belittle the disease but it is not the agenda of the film. This film is about the relationship between a father and son and the worlds they live in. It is tightly directed with good character development on both sides. The acting is very good especially by Michael Lerner in a very different role for him. Karen Allen is always a joy to watch. The main characters are played by relatively unknowns which I think works well for the characters. Well done by all involved
Jaws (1975)
The Best Movie Ever Made
It is redundant to write something outlining the fact that JAWS is a brilliant film. There is nothing that can be said at this point that hasn't already been said. People have written about the rubber shark. Everyone knows that the shark's name is Bruce. Everyone knows that it was named after Spielberg's lawyer. Everyone knows that the shark didn't work all the time. Everyone knows that Dreyfuss and Shaw didn't get along. The list goes on... Still, for some reason, this movie inspires people, myself included, to write, write, and write. More importantly, it inspires us to read, read, and read. We need to know that we're not all crazy for loving this movie. We need to know that we can sit there and heave a collective sigh of relief, of comfort, when we watch it. We need to know that there are others like us who love this movie on every level. It touches us. We are Chief Brody when we're scared. We get excited in a very geeky way over things we love like Hooper. We all have moments of bravado like Quint and we're happy to know that he gets scared too. Most of all- we love sharks. We can't help it.
This movie is brilliant. There is not a single thing that you could do to it that would make it better. They haven't created an award with a broad enough scope that would be appropriate for this movie to win. It's an action movie, a horror movie, a buddy movie, a drama; it is everything. It is why we go to movies.
If you have not seen this movie then stop what you are doing. I don't care if you are delivering a baby- it can wait. You can not go any further in your life without seeing JAWS. If you've seen it before- finish delivering the baby... then go watch it again.
Don't Look Now (1973)
An hour and 45 minutes that I will never have back!
I have watched a lot of truly horrible films in my time but this one is truly ranked among the worst. I have loved truly horrible films that were entertaining in spite of themselves (JAWS The Revenge, Anaconda, and anything hosted by Elvira) but this movie is not one of them. This film made me angry and that is not entirely its fault. It is the fault of those in the movie-going public who let on that this is a film to see! Almost 2hrs of watching Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie do nothing of consequence. When things did happen, they had nothing to do with each other- random events. None of them led anywhere!! They had sex- so(it is truly amazing what passed for 'in shape' back then)? Donald almost gets hurt on a scaffold- so? He thinks he sees her in Venice when she's supposed to be in England- so? Does he call her? No! He goes right to missing persons?? Finally in the last seven minutes of the film he is killed by a dwarf in the same raincoat that his daughter was wearing when she died- so? Wouldn't you assume that she didn't have the one and only red raincoat in the world? My cousin has one! I'm not sure- does that mean that I should introduce her to Donald Sutherland or not? Either response would make as much sense as this film.
Jurassic Park III (2001)
The Best Of The Three
While enjoying the previous two films at varying degrees, I was surprised to find that I enjoyed this one more than the others. This film is taught, reasonably acted and written, and most importantly well paced. The first seemed to peak to me at the introduction of the T-Rex and then nothing really measured up after that. The second was fine as long as we were on the island but then we went to San Diego and well... This film stayed on track, built quickly and the action was non-stop. The story was believable (assuming that we have all suspended our disbelieve to accept the terms of the entire trilogy) and the cameo of Laura Dern was nice. The giant bird cage was very well handled and made the movie different enough from anything that we have seen in the other two. I also think that this opens things up for part IV and the potential of introducing underwater dinosaurs (think JAWS meets Loch Ness). Definitely the best of the three.