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Reviews
The Watcher in the Woods (1980)
Scary enough for kids.....but boring for adults
When I was in grade 3, I remember having a movie day in the school gymnasium. The movies they were going to show, were "The Wiz", and "The Watcher in the Woods". I still remember having to get my parents to sign a permission slip to allow me to watch "The Watcher in the Woods", and for good reason! This film gave me nightmares when I was a child. Here we are, 25 years later, and out of nostalgia, I rented this film. Unfortunately, it is not as scary as I remembered.
This film, based on a novel, tells the story of an American family, moving into an English manor. Not soon after moving in, the daughters realize that there are strange things happening in the woods surrounding the house.
Again, this film was very scary for me when I was a child, and I could still see that happening with children these days. I would not recommend this film for young viewers. The special effects do not live up to today's standards, and the script is lacking something. Also, not to give anything away, but the ending leaves something much to be desired. No, that's an understatement, the ending plainly sucked!
I am kind of disappointed. After all the memories I had of this movie, it is just another cheap film in Disney's live action repertoire.
4/10
Eragon (2006)
Decent fantasy film.
I feel sorry for this film and any other film in this genre. After the huge success of "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy, it is very hard not to compare. After it is all said and done, "Eragon" is not a bad stab at a fantasy film, it just lacks the magic of other films of the genre.
Eragon is a young farm boy. After finding a strange stone, which turns out to be a dragon egg, Eragon finds out that his fate in life is to be a dragon rider. With the help of Brom (played by Jeremy Irons), young Eragon sets on his journey.
Let me first say that the special effects in this film are fantastic. The dragon, Saphira, looks stunning. I wish more could be said for the story. After watching this film, I found too many similarities to the story of the original Star Wars. I know this is based on a book, but I have never read it, so I can not compare the story in the book to that of this screenplay.
The cast is decent enough. We have Jeremy Irons, who is always a great actor, and John Malkovich, who unfortunately did not get enough screen time. Hopefully, if they make a sequel, his character will have more screen time. We also have Robert Carlyle, another great actor, whom I did not even recognize in the film at first. Carlyle does a great job as the evil wizard Durza.
All in all, the film is not as bad as many people here state. I actually enjoyed the film, but the story is not very original. I heard there are other books in the series, hopefully, if they get turned into films, that the story is better. Unfortunately this film did not make me want to go out and read the books, as other films have.
If you are a fan of the fantasy genre, definitely take a look. It's not as bad as people say, but it could have definitely been better.
6/10
Dazed and Confused (1993)
Great period piece comedy!
"Dazed and Confused" is a great period piece set in the 1970's. The story revolves around Randall "Pink" Floyd and his friends. On the last day of school in 1976, they set out to party and, unknown to them, a journey of self discovery.
A great comedy, with laugh out loud antics! Although I went to high school from 89-93, I can still relate to this film. A lot of the antics in this movie, as well as the characters, remind me of my days growing up.
A great cast of relative unknown actors (at the time) are in this film. We have a young Ben Affleck, Milla Jovovich, and Matthew McConaughey.
Also we have an awesome soundtrack of 70's music from the likes of Black Sabbath, Ted Nugent, Kiss, Black Oak Arkansas, War and many, many more! I highly recommend this film to any fan of comedies. Great fun, and great nostalgia! I'm sure everyone can relate to this film! Should not be missed! 9/10
Starship Troopers (1997)
A no holds barred sci-fi action!
"Starship Troopers" is an all out, non-stop action packed fun popcorn flick! It tells the story of an elite band of troopers, fighting an evil bug race that is threatening the very existence of the human race.
This film is total non-stop action from the opening scene, right to the last frame. A hell of a good time for action and sci-fi fans alike. Brainless fun, in the vein of a B film, but it does it's job and entertains.
Very violent film, not for the squeamish. I highly recommend this film to all fans of action movies.
8/10.
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)
Very funny in parts.....but highly over-rated!
Well, I finally caved and decided to see what all the fuss was about with this "Borat" film. It definitely is hilarious, and had me laughing out loud at certain parts, but I think it is highly over-rated.
Please be advised, this film does show racist views towards all people, especially Jewish people, but hopefully people realize that this is just a black comedy.
I give Sacha Cohen credit! The guy had the balls to make a film like this! I know most of it was supposedly unscripted, and if that is true, kudos to the man! You would never see me trying any of that! Especially at a rodeo full of good ole southern folk! The man pulls out all the stops, and sometimes he scored the laughs with me, and other times I was thinking of what the hell he was doing!
I don't want to give anything away, but I definitely recommend everyone that is not easily offended, sees this film. Definitely worth at least a one-time viewing. But, this is not the type of comedy film I would be watching over and over again. For that, I have my copy of Delirious.
6/10
Heavy Metal: Louder Than Life (2006)
Great informative film on the greatest music of all time
Well, it's been a great few years for us metal heads. First, we have the excellent theatrical documentary "Metal:A Headbanger's Journey", and now, we have "Heavy Metal: Louder Than Life". Both are great documentaries on the longest lasting form of popular music, but I will have to say that I enjoyed this documentary more than I did "Metal".
Whereas "Metal" was more of a fan's view of heavy metal music, "Heavy Metal" focuses much more on the artists and musicians that spawned it. On this documentary, we have interviews with Geezer Butler, KK Downing, Ronnie James Dio, Rob Halford, Dave Mustaine, Scott Ian, Glenn Tipton, and of course Dee Snider. However, I was pleasantly surprised to see Alex Skolnick (Testament) and Bobby Blitz Ellsworth (Overkill). Both from two of metal's most under-rated bands! Hell, they even threw in a few interviews with James Hetfield and Kirk Hammett! In addition to these great new interviews, we see many old performances and video clips all the way from Led Zeppelin, Motorhead, to Ratt, Motley Crue, to Korn and Slipknot.
I think another major plus this film has over "Metal", is the fact that it only really touches on death and black metal with a few clips of Napalm Death and Venom. Other than Venom and the band Death, this form of music never really spoke to me, and I was happy that it did not spend too much time on this. Likewise, it also just hinted on the "nu-metal". Again, this is a plus to me, as I've never been a fan of Slipknot or Korn. Metal should never have mixed itself with hip hop! Both are completely different styles of music, and sorry, they really do not compliment themselves! As with "Metal", this film touches all the same core subjects. The arguments of the first true metal band, sex, and of course, Satanism.
One major complaint about this film, and that is the lack of the European metal scene. What about bands like Stratovarious? Hammerfall? Edguy? Rhapsody? Nightwish? Helloween? Also...what about American classic bands like Savatage? Manowar? Kamelot? Or how about Anvil, Sword, Razor or Annihilator from Canada? The lack of the power metal genre is a big disappointment, because no matter what anyone will tell you, this is where the next big band will come from, and is a very important part of metal's history. Metal is much bigger in Europe, and that is where the next band will come from.
In closing, "Heavy Metal: Louder Than Life" is a must for any fan that is truly passionate about the music. Definitely a must buy. The second DVD even has a complete uncut interview with Dee Snider. Even though I was never a huge fan of Twisted Sister, hardly anyone can argue with his passion and love for metal. A very entertaining interview as usual!
9/10....only minus being the lack of the power metal genre, and too much Korn for my taste!
The Return (2005)
Terrible film....
"The Return" starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, tells the story of a young woman troubled by startling visions. On a business trip to her home town, she decides to try to find the cause of her nightmares.
I really don't know where to start, yet the words are just not coming out of me at this moment. This film is absolutely terrible. No words can put together how much I loathed this film. It had a very predictable plot, I knew how this film was going to end within the first half hour. No scares, and the few tries, were typical of Hollywood horror films of today.
I really can not think of anything more to say about this film. I am absolutely dumbfounded that this was put to film. Avoid at all costs! 1/10
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
Under rated horror classic.....
Halloween III: Season of the Witch, although carrying the same moniker as it's predecessors, has absolutely nothing to do with Michael Myers, the serial killer. For this reason, it seems there are many people that feel this is reason enough to bash this film. I am 100% certain, that if this film did not carry the Halloween title, it would definitely have scored higher that a 3.5 on this website. This is not the worst horror movie, I wouldn't even consider this film a horror. This film is a thriller, plain and simple. The only reason people categorize it as a horror, is due to the name. This is yet another classic movie in the vein of all other classic John Carpenter films.
The story centers around a lunatic in a novelty factory, who is planning on using Halloween masks, to kill millions of American children on Halloween night. When a man is mysteriously killed in a hospital in California, clutching a Halloween mask, Dr. Challis helps the man's daughter investigate his mysterious death.
This film is a first rate thriller, and along with the original Halloween, is one of my favorite "horror" thriller films. Sure, it doesn't have the typical psycho killer that was so popular in horror films of the 80's, or any of the mass blood and guts. However, the story is original, unlike most of the other horror films of the 80's, and this to me is it's appeal. I'm sure if it was Michael Myer's slashing young children on Halloween night, this film would have scored higher here in ratings. I for one, found this a refreshing change in the series.
Sure, maybe I'm biased. I love anything that John Carpenter puts his hands on. I love his musical scores, and his stories. They are all very original. This film is not as bad as people would tend you to believe. Check it out if you are a fan of horror or thrillers, just don't expect the typical slasher film, or you will be disappointed.
25 years ago, at the age of 7, this film scared the living hell out of me. Since seeing this film, I never wore a latex Halloween mask again. 25 years later, I still won't.
A fun, massively under-rated thriller.
7 out of 10.
Casino Royale (2006)
Daniel Craig is the John McClaine of Bond!!
To tell everyone here the truth, I was never really a fan of the James Bond franchise. To me, they were basically just science fiction films set in modern times. An unbelievable secret agent, who has more lives than Fritz the Cat, and even more invincible than Rambo. But with Casino Royale, and the addition of Daniel Craig, I am very happy to jump on the Bond bandwagon. This film absolutely blew my mind!
In Casino Royale, we follow the story of James Bond, who has just received his double-0 promotion. For his first mission, Bond is sent to Casino Royale in Montenegro, to win a high stakes poker tournament. If he doesn't win, the money will help fund various terrorist organizations around the world.
As with Batman Begins, the series received a much needed retelling for the modern age. Gone are 99% of the unbelievable gadgets that Bond has relied on over the last 40 years. Now, in Craig, we have a tough, macho guy, who uses his fists as well as he uses his gun. A guy who isn't afraid to bleed. That's right everyone! Not since John McClane has a lead actor bled so much! It's very refreshing to see James Bond portrayed as a human. Not only is he great in the action department, but Craig has all, if not more, charisma and sex appeal than all of his predecessors. They have definitely made the right choice in the Bond for a new generation.
The story is great, and the action is non-stop, and most importantly....believable! Gone are all the crazy outrageous stunts from the previous Bond flicks. An added plus in my books! Plus, we do get to see a gorgeous collection of Bond girls, most notably Eva Green.
If you are a Bond fan, you will definitely not be disappointed. Those of you, who were like me and were never real "fans" of the series, definitely must check it out! I am definitely sure you will not be disappointed! The action film of the year. 10/10
School for Scoundrels (2006)
Billy Bob Does It Again!
In a world full of really moronic teeny bopper movies, thank the heavens we have Billy Bob Thorton. Here in "School For Scoundrels", he is as hilarious as ever!
Roger is a loser living in New York City. He has a terrible job, gets no respect from his co-workers, and has never dated a woman. Secretly, he has a crush on his neighbor Amanda, but is so shy, he can't get up the nerve to ask her out. When his friend recommends him to Dr. P (played fabulously by Billy Bob in his trademark type role), his life seems to be finally turning around. However, Dr. P has a secret agenda up his sleeve.
Billy Bob does a great job in this film, as well as all the other mostly unknown actors. The story was funny and fun. It's nice to see comedy films geared towards the "older" crowd. Had a few twists and turns I didn't see coming. Very enjoyable film! Overall, I give this film an 8/10.
If you enjoy a good comedy that's not all about fart jokes or satire (as all "comedies" seem to be these days), check it out! I'm sure you will enjoy it!
The Marine (2006)
Corny, but still a fun time!
WWE champion John Cena makes his acting debut in WWE Films' "The Marine". No matter what all the other critics say, this film is not all that bad! I grew up during the 80's watching and loving such action flicks as Commando, Cobra, Tango & Cash, Action Jackson, and The Marine is no worse than any of those cheesy 80's films we all know and love. I believe that is the appeal of this film to me!
John Cena plays a marine by the name of John Triton. After disobeying a direct command during active duty in the Middle East, he is discharged and returns home to his wife in South Carolina. Bored with his new found freedom from the service, little does he know that some unwanted action is waiting for him.
Like I mentioned before, this is a fun action flick in the vein of the old 80's action movies. A very predictable plot, but a lot of fun! Who says that every film has to be like The Lord Of The Rings, or The Godfather to be enjoyed by people on a boring Sunday afternoon. The Marine does what it was meant to, it entertains the audience with unrealistic action and explosions.
John Cena can not act outside of the squared circle. In my humble opinion, he is not even a great wrestler, so I expected his wooden acting skills. Still, in this type of movie, who cares? Van Damme can't act either, but his early films were fun like this.
Overall, I give this film a 5/10. Great for a boring rainy afternoon, and a definite must for all 80's action fans.