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Abigail (2024)
The screenplay broke the movie
I thought the first hour was entertaining, musically enhanced, and even had some delightful humor. The array of characters and how they flirted and interacted with one another made for some quality moments. But most importantly the cinematography was crisp and memorable.
Now for the criticism: the bloody moments and f bombs were to excess. I'm all for a slasher movie, but this film was in a league of its own. Seeing bodies explode eventually lost all appeal. The story went from a kidnapping gone wrong to a murder mystery to a survival thriller, but all the violence and gore took my attention away. You'd also see abrupt scene changes which completely changed the film's orbit.
Giancarlo Esposito didn't have an interesting role to play. He was part of the reason I wanted to give this movie a try. For any fans of vampire flicks, it could be up your alley. In my mind, this was something to watch in order to pass the time.
Angel Baby (2023)
I was utterly confused
The acting is pretty top notch and there are a couple of jump scares. However the story makes zero sense, there's a lot of red herrings along the way, and as the viewer we are left in the dark when the credits rolled.
It's pretty obvious that Chloe and Justin are siblings, as evidenced by the fact that the young girl had blonde hair and that as an adult Chloe was close to Justin without being overtly sexual. But all of that aside, I didn't understand why Justin and Chloe were hell bent on having Val live in their childhood house. Wouldn't the siblings want to escape their traumatic childhood memories?
Also the music box and the "Angel Baby" book that kept popping up were meaningless. And it's clear the house is haunted, but what is this ghost's (of the murdered father's) intention other than creeping up on people when they sleep? It seems like as the movie went on, the haunted story diminished and the movie pivoted into a slasher tale.
The whole business with the sheriff, bartender, and the Good Samaritan neighbor didn't add to the story. This movie wasn't worth the time, it seemed rushed.
Unfrosted (2024)
I didn't even crack a smile
I wasn't concerned with the historical accuracy of this. I was more focused on the entertainment factor. Truth be told, this film felt like a series of cartoonish commercials. I gave up after 30 minutes, even though Kellogg's pop tarts and cereals are staple foods in my pantry.
They got so many A-list comedians for this project, and they all were so over the top and rambunctious. Jerry Seinfeld cannot act, he essentially reprised his sitcom character. But unlike the Seinfeld sitcom, there was no story or humor. So many vulgar jokes and schtick are thrown at the audience and none of it worked for me.
I expected this to flop. In fact, Richard Roeper of the Chicago Sun Times deemed this movie one of the worst of this decade.
The Idea of You (2024)
This is a basic background movie
Anne Hathaway has been my favorite actress for years. I've been drawn to her since her role as Princess Mia in Princess Diaries. Usually Anne is known for serious and heroic roles, which accompany her naturally strong wit and beauty.
However in this movie, her character was dumbed down and paired with a lame brained pop singer of a boy band who mumbles all his lines. I have to also mention that the songs are so outrageously auto-tuned and the footage of their performances resembles a bar mitzvah montage.
I didn't feel anything for this 40 year old woman and 24 year old man's relationship. Most of their dialogue felt like it was a mother figure speaking with a misguided and immature young adult. Some cringeworthy stuff overall and didn't generate any laughs or smiles.
It's not a terrible movie, it has some steamy bedroom scenes that slightly propel the story forward. But this isn't a film that I would encourage people to watch.
Making Time (2020)
It's a hokey movie, but had enough spirit
Making Time is an independent film shot in the span of two days. That's pretty obvious given the cheap special effects, strained line reading, and clumsy editing. It's really not a deep or intense story. I almost turned this off at the 10 minute mark, but trudged along as I appreciate a good sci experience.
I probably would not recommend this movie to hardcore time travel movie fanatics, but there were some elements of surprise and laughter during this. The performances were inconsistent and the dialogue is sloppy and over the top, but I'll admit that there's real heart and determination from this main character. I found myself cheering for Nick's dream to come true.
The Greatest Hits (2024)
The creative spark stopped after one hour
I thought the movie would have had a bit more adventure, as time travel was the main plot device. Over time the script became dull and a lot of the music was a distractor as opposed to tying in with the story. The writers needed to smooth out the rough edges on the script and simplify the story a bit. For example, the therapist, Harriet's best friend, and David's sister were useless characters who had nothing to contribute. I did appreciate the chemistry between David and Harriet, and that both characters suffered an immeasurable amount of grief.
If you're a record collector or someone who is a sucker for romantic movies that tug at your heart strings, you might like this. From my perspective, the fun moments were infrequent and forced. Think of the movie as a Powerpoint presentation that moves so quickly, that you don't have time to take in the details.
I'll Follow You Down (2013)
An inconsequential mess
Giving it one extra star because the first few minutes were sweet, when we saw the father and son relationship. It all went downhill from there. The 30 minutes I watched were filled with bland dialogue, melodramatic family moments, and poor casting choices. This was supposed to be a science fiction mystery movie, but quickly became a Hallmark Channel feature.
I think this would have been stronger if you showed the point-of-view of the father as he abandons his family and embarks on his mission to time travel.
HJ Osment was a benevolent and shining star in The Sixth Sense, and I haven't seen him deliver a good performance in any recent movie.
10x10 (2018)
Pay no mind to this horrific movie
Imagine two cocky high school drama students putting on a play. Then also imagine that the script has no meaning and that every character decision is counterintuitive. That's the equation for this mess of a film. I simply didn't understand the storyline or direction on this- it turned into background noise after an hour.
I also have to ask - how is this woman locked in a room for days at a time and never uses the restroom or consumes even an ounce of liquid? She looks perfectly healthy and shows no signs of lethargy at all, which is totally bogus. In fact,
Kathy had every chance to overpower this kidnapper and failed time and time again.
Every 21 Seconds (2018)
A victorious movie
After seeing the 2-hour running time, I thought it would be another melodramatic or preachy human interest story. This really deserved a full theatrical treatment, it was that impactful.
I loved everything about it because we see the contrast between past and present. A hard working and devoted husband and father of two has his life torn away due to a demented guy punching him at a bar. We see how victim Brian Sweeney rehabilitates his mental and physical states to become the person he was prior to the attack. Brian's outbursts and forgetfulness cause a lot of emotion turmoil for his wife and kids.
A round of applause for everyone who worked on this film.
How to Date Billy Walsh (2024)
This just didn't come together
If the Harry Potter franchise and a Nickelodeon pie-in-the-face bathroom joke-filled movie had a child, this would be it. The movie suffers because of unflattering sex jokes and constant breakage of the fourth wall. It may have been a satire, but the script was very disorderly.
I laughed only once, and ironically it was from a character who got seconds worth of screen time (the restaurant waiter). I did enjoy Charithra Chandran's performance, but she couldn't salvage the overall viewing experience.
It felt like every character was stuck in their own fairy tale universe. Plus the film tried the "influencer" type angle, complete with slow motion scenes and text message bubbles. The ending was mildly cute, but it was too little too late.
Suncoast (2024)
A generic story, but the movie teaches us a lesson
I wasn't enthusiastic with the entire story, yet this still was a very good movie. Nico Parker is a gifted and beautiful young actress, and her scenes with Woody Harrelson were endearing.
The crux of this film involves Doris' mission to be independent and lead a normal life. This plan is sidelined as Doris is forced to spend overnights at the Suncoast hospice facility, where her cancer-stricken brother is on his deathbed. She has to decide whether to enjoy her teen years (i.e. Going to prom or clubbing with her preppy friend group) or spend time with her mother and brother. Seeing Doris assert her independence during this family tragedy was what made this movie worthwhile.
There were some fluff high school class/party scenes throughout the movie that didn't resonate with me. I also think having more focus on Paul's personal struggle was necessary. But I ultimately smiled right before the final credits rolled.
Night Shift (2023)
It's imperfect, but I ended up enjoying it
This filled its purpose as a slasher horror film and Phoebe Tonkin is quite electrifying on screen- I'm ready to watch more of her works. This film really blows a lot of the Blumhouse Production movies out of the water.
Certainly the film is a slow burn, off beat, and was filmed on a low budget, but the payoff is huge once the twist is revealed. The end scene also tied everything together.
I was prepared to nit-pick character decisions or some of the dark comedy scenes (for instance the oddball married couple who wanted a room for recreational activities), but I sat back and accepted the movie for what it was. It was an adventurous independent movie that could be enjoyed by casual and diehard horror fans alike.
Sometimes I Think About Dying (2023)
There wasn't any structure to this
I can understand that it is a character study, but this has the feel of an indie film and most of it is filled with awkward pauses and feeble attempts at humor. The first 25 minutes were an elongated introduction, but even so I failed to recognize what the story was. I ended up turning this off at the one hour mark. As for the character who plays Robert, the love interest, he's not compelling enough to help bring a positive light to this film's murky atmosphere.
The music was actually pretty upbeat considering how depressing the main character's life is. Other than that there's not much to praise.
Ricky Stanicky (2024)
This was a golden buddy comedy
Never in a million years did I think John Cena was a strong comic actor- he knocked it out of the park. It's a goofy, impractical, and raunchy story filled with slapstick, but I fell in love with this movie and was laughing consistently. Aside from the humor, it's a strong script with good performances and just enough heart.
The energy level of the main friend foursome is unmatched and seeing roast master Jeff Ross portray a stand-up comedian mohel was delightful. Certainly a lot of the punchlines were obvious, but there were still a plenty of surprises along this journey.
It's 20 minutes too long and the laughs fizzled out during that time period, but otherwise I have no major issues.
Sight: Extended (2023)
This was riveting
In a Black Mirror-type format, we see a story about how people wear virtual reality contact lenses (think Apple Vision Pro but less bulky). The main character is gifted an app that helps him combat agoraphobia, clean up his apartment and physical image, and socialize with a high school crush. I was mesmerized for the first hour, but the excitement plateaued and I was slightly lost at the end.
How or why this technology was introduced is not clear, but I can say that this is the best science fiction movie I've seen in a decade. The main actor performs the anxious and diabolical elements of this character to a T.
Love on Repeat (2019)
Good thematically speaking, though an obvious plot
This involves a Groundhog Day scenario that takes place inside an office. The characters aren't constructed very well and the bulk of the movie was campy and filled with sub optimal music. For some reason I ended up enjoying the last ten minutes, even though i knew precisely what would happen.
I liked seeing Andrew Lawrence, who perhaps is best known for voicing TJ on Disney's Recess. He was really the star of this movie, despite not having discernible chemistry with Jen Lilley's character.
It's a tired plot and doesn't deliver on laughs, but there was a sincere message in how someone should lead their life.
Buried (2010)
A harrowing thriller
For years I've considered Ryan Reynolds overrated and superficial. My opinion of him has suddenly changed - he is captivating as truck driver Paul Conroy in this survival movie.
The movie isn't scientifically accurate, but all of that can be put aside because we are focused on Paul's difficulty in getting search and rescue. While this movie is serious and macabre, there are brilliant moments when Paul cracks some jokes and tells people off. I was invested in this story right until the final credits rolled.
Many of us have our own idea on how to survive this ordeal and we do see that Paul wasn't conserving oxygen optimally, but I didn't let that ruin the fun.
Bad Sister (2015)
Ned's Declassified Catholic School Survival Guide
Probably could have been an anthological short story, but this served its purpose as entertainment. It ended up being a predictable and there weren't any surprises for the viewer. There needed to be more shocking thrills, but overall it was enjoyable.
I think the actors put a lot of chutzpah into this project and there were some casual scenes with romance and humor to keep the movie flowing seamlessly. Devon Werkheiser is highly talented as a musician and actor, and was able to work effortlessly off his cast mates here. Alyshia Ochse was great as a two-faced character: seductive yet deceitful.
The Wrong Teacher (2018)
A very ragged script
I've mentioned in other reviews how movies with student/teacher intimate relationships are uninteresting and overdone. This one is no exception and the story is predictable, right down to the main character not alerting law enforcement when she finds out damning information about this student.
I really love how the doors to this school are wide opened at night time and that there's no security guard or cameras to catch any mischievous behavior. And this vice principal must be the biggest idiot to just let his suspicions about this teacher slide.
I don't mind a movie that can make me laugh, despite how poorly constructed the dialogue is. In that sense, bravo Lifetime.
My Daughter's Ransom (2019)
Kind of like a dumpster fire
I file this movie under a specific category: it's implausible and dumb, but I had to see how things unfolded. To call this an action thriller would be inaccurate- it's really a comedy drama with a dash of suspense. There were times the actors' facial expressions and decision making were so laughable. And the ending scene with the family hugging a mere feet from the captor's corpse was out of place.
Nit picking a made-for-TV movie is pointless, but in the seconds that the kidnapper turns off his headset, that would have been the perfect time for this mom (played by Olivia Wilde's lookalike Scottie Thompson) to alert authorities that her daughter was taken. And sadly we never figure out how this idiot kidnapper gets sound devices placed in the main couple's house to begin with. For the course of a year no device was ever found and he was able to get in and out of the house unscathed. Talk about luck.
So despite the inconceivable story and lack of twists and turns, it was tempting to watch.
Beyond the Gates (2016)
This was unredeemable
I overestimated this film - it ended up being incredibly flat and confusing. There was some gore to be sure, but it was done in such a cartoonish manner that I couldn't possibly be scared.
I liked the 1980s psychedelic feel to having a VHS game and having Barbara Crampton as the game's narrator was a nice touch, but I concur with other reviewers here. There's no logic as to how this game is played and a lot of the character traits were meaningless (Margot's sleepwalking and Gordon's alcoholism for instance).
The cinematography was mostly crisp, but the acting was borderline and there was no plot progression. It just ended up being a bunch of choppy scenes and the movie simply didn't grab a hold of me.
Do Not Reply (2019)
It's an elementary level horror flick
The filmmaker takes an intriguing idea and basically turns it into a fetishization of a sick man luring teenage women online, and turning them into blonde cheerleaders. Think of it as a cult, as they each are required to use the name Sadie and abide by a strict set of rules and customs.
There was a similar Lifetime TV movie named Kept Woman that I saw awhile back which was truly watchable and exciting. In that movie we saw how the perpetrator was able to put on a facade on everyone. Incorporating the outside perspective (such as seeing how Brad is able to keep these women hidden or seeing how Chelsea's family is dealing with her being gone) would have helped keep things fresh.
The pacing was my biggest problem here - I never felt a rush of thrills or any reason to keep watching. The first 20 minutes were make or break for me- I almost turned it off.
The Edge of Seventeen (2016)
It's unbalanced, but still entertaining
Let's start with the obvious: Hailee Steinfeld is a phenomenal actress. She's able to suck the life out of the other characters by use of melodrama, anger, manipulation, and jealousy. The character is meant to be unlikable, it adds dimension and sets us up for a 180 degree transformation during the last ten minutes.
This film centers around grief, as Nadine lost her father four years prior to a sudden heart attack. From Nadine's perspective, her mother and brother distance themselves from the trauma. To add insult to injury, Nadine's brother starts dating her best friend.
It is evident that Nadine seeks a father-like companion, which is where her teacher (portrayed by Woody Harrelson) comes into play. Harrelson was sharp with his humor, but I felt his role was underdone.
This had strong acting, an average script, poor transitions, and a rushed ending. Still though, I was moderately entertained.
Find Me (2018)
This was pretty touching
For an independent film with a small principal cast, I was amazed to have enjoyed this. Like Joe, I've felt immense pressure to help loved ones or to survive in hectic office environments.
The scenery of the national parks and the character development were unparalleled. We see pure emotion but also.light hearted moments. This also had me reminisce about times I went camping and hiking, which were moments where I tried to figure out my life path and understand the world around me.
The soundtrack was hit or miss and the writing could have been a bit stronger, but I was on board with the movie's concept the entire time.
An Invisible Sign (2010)
There's something special about this movie
In short, this movie is incredibly strange. But as someone who enjoys math and numbers, it sort of resonated with me and I can recommend it. This had moments of warmth, sincerity, humor, and raw emotions. It's a dramatic film with small elements of romance.
Jessica Alba immerses herself in a different kind of persona. Instead of being the sexy girl next door, she portrays an obsessive compulsive, unqualified and socially inept math teacher named Mona Gray who is dealing with her father's illness and mother's contempt. All the while she forms an unlikely bond with a science teacher, played by Mark Ruffalo's doppelgänger Chris Messina. Also Mona has a star pupil named Lisa, who takes a shining to her. I loved seeing Mona's motherly tenderness in that regard.
While I enjoyed the picture, there's some segments that were unnecessary. JK Simmons, while a fine actor, didn't have a lot to contribute. And the whole business with the wax numbers around his neck was trite. I think the movie needed to focus more on Mona's parents and Mona's impact on her class.
Critically this got poor reviews, and I can understand why. But on a strictly personal level, i saw an unusual freshness and felt it had some imagination and depth.