Reviews

DAWN OF THE DEAD (2004) *1/2 D: Zack Snyder. Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames.

This is a massive "no, no" and should have been called a different name. It was a complete re-imagining of the first masterpiece, and a bit underdone as a remake. Even as a modern day action/horror piece, the violence was plentiful but not as effective. A hint to is why such a bland choice, it lacks the conviction, character building, and suspence that made the iced up original so pulse quickening.

Couldn't put it in any better words myself. It just sucks! Lots of one liners, and lacks charm.

The original film had moments like "Like a charm, like a f***ing charm", "We've got this man, we've got this by the a**", "I see you, chocolate man", "You never aim a gun at anyone mister!... Scary isn't it, isn't it!" And etc, etc....

The mall was a mystery in the original... In the remake, they quieltly walk through the door.

The still born zombie was not effective, just trite.

More like watching a video game than watching a horror movie. The characters were stupified, and lacked a touch of CHARACTER, they were props... Please, change the title to another before it's DVD release. Call it AFTERNOON OF THE DEAD, or DEAD AFTER BREAKFAST, or something so similar to every zombie rip off. I'm about ready to make my own if this keeps up! RUBINSTEIN, HOW COULD YOU!!!!

*** (4*'s) We all know the story. Here is a review.

THE QUICKENING: Best scene in this cut is the opening. The rest of the this film transitions very poorly. Some dialogue is silenced, but we still see their lips moving. The movie is entertaining, still, but doesn't make much sense. Connery's scenes are misplaced, he is almost forgotten, at times. Katana kills David Blake just moments after meeting him in this one. The ending is the most incompetant for the most part. Connor is wearing a prison jacket, then suddenly switches to a trench coat, holding a broad sword after just having a samurai sword. The closing scene is bad also.

RENEGADE VERSION: An excellent, totally revamped sci-fi cut of this often misconcepted sequel. This time, they are not aliens from Zeist. They are from the past, more like a different dimension. Character development is re-attached, plot holes are filled in, and we get a chance to see a blue sky at one point.

Overall opinions: Lambert's acting is at it's best. He seems to be really into his character in this movie. Ironside is a great villain. He chews the scenery, hams it up with comic book dialogue, and demonstrates some memorable killings (the subway holocaust, and the cabbie killing). Watch both versions, you'll find them interesting in comparison.

GRANDMA'S SECRET RECIPE *** D: Jeff Hayes. (Comedy-Horror)

An excellent re-incarnation of the old 80's slasher genre. Grandma murders her family, and finds some inventive ways to get rid of the bodies. Great splatter scenes, and acts of cannibalism to wet gore fans appetites. If you loved Sleepaway Camp and worshipped Hannibal, you will be convinced that killer grannies do exist once you've reached the shocking conclusion.

GRANDMA'S SECRET RECIPE- It's only a dead body!!!!

Slay ya soon! "Burp!" ---Reviewed by: Michael Medina

THE CROW: CITY OF ANGELS (1995) *** (Out of 4)

A faithful installment and one of the most stylish in the series, with a brighter colored city. A crow once again brings back a tortured soul to avenge his son's brutal death, and doing so by violently killing off the villians. Good special effects, and a well decorated hero cannot hide the dry performances. Perez's humor is not funny. Iggy Pop is a standout. Covers new ground that the first one avoided, lots of explicit sex, killing, and a much more dull leading bad guy (Brooks). ABOVE AVERAGE.

TOXIC ZOMBIES (1980) *** (out of 4*'s) Director: Chuck McCrann. Charles Austin (Chuck McCrann), Beverly Shapiro, Alysson Alynn, John Amplas.

Government sprays reefer crops with a herbicide, intoxicates the hippy marijuana farmers and turns them into zombies. They prowl through the forest and kill off campers!

Funny, low budget yarn. Stars John "Martin" Amplas in a minor role. Inspired by an actual event. Shot in Pennsylvania in 1979. Released in theatres as BLOODEATERS.

SUMMER CAMP NIGHTMARE (1987) **1/2 (out of 4*'s) DIRECTOR: Bert L. Dragin. Chuck Connors, Charles Stratton, Adam Carl, Melissa Brennan.

Good story, about wild punks overthrowing the Summer Camp staff and taking over and starting their own revolution.

More of a violent drama. Despite the misleading title, this is not a horror movie. Well acted, good character development, and does have some exciting moments.

AKA: THE BUTTERFLY REVOLUTION.

EVIL SPAWN (1987) *1/2 (Out of 4*'s) Director: Kenneth J. Hall. Bobbie Bresee, Drew Godderis, John Terrence, Donna Shock, John Carradine.

An underground woman scientist offers a has-been actress a drug that promises to restore her youth. After second guessing the idea and finally taking it, she gets sick and turns into a beast at night and begins killing whoever is nearby!

Shamelessly makes you feel sorry for the lead character. The acting is shy and somewhat overdone. The neat special effects look much better on the back of the video box than they do during the movie.

Not oscar material, but all movies like these are great for parties!

ALIEN PREDATOR (1987) **1/2 (out of 4*'s) Director: Deran Sarafian. Dennis Christopher, Lynn Holly Johnson, Martin Hewitt.

Alien microbes taken from the moon are tampered with on a skylab which suddenly re-enters earth's atmosphere and crash lands in Duarte, Spain spreading an alien virus amongst humans and animals living in the nearby area. Three americans tour through the area just in time to catch all of the terror.

I can understand why people would have a problem. You have to have a real edge for campy films in order to enjoy this. I liked it! I do however wanted to see more of the aliens and what they were like. They only appear twice at the end!!!

Shot in Spain in 1984. Also known as THE FALLING, MUTANT 2 (U.K.), COSMOS MORTAL (Spain), ALIEN PREDATORS (U.S. Video Box Art Title)

THE RIPPER (1985) Director Christopher Lewis. Wade Tower, Mona Van Pernis, Tom Savini.

College professor is posessed by the evil within Jack the Ripper's Ring that he purchases at a pawn shop. Hence, a brutal spree of Jack the Ripper style murders spread all over town whenever he has a dream!

Well written, and well told story, delivers the goods as far as gore goes. But the acting is way too cheeseball, making it look like an infomercial, or better yet, a public access version of Jack the Ripper. It was nice to have Tom save the day during the last ten minutes.

Filmed in Tulsa Oklahoma, shot on Super VHS, and released direct to video. ** (out of 4*'s)

SILENT MADNESS (1984) ** (out of 4*'s) Director: Simon Nuchtern. Belinda Montgomery, Viveca Lindfors, Sydney Lassick.

Mental patient is accidently released from the hospital and instantly goes on a violent killing spree. Sound familiar? The patients doctor tracks him down to a sorority, his old home!

Familiar on all levels. Shown in 3-D in the theatres. For fans of the genre. NOTE: this film is extremely rare!

Overlong, over-acted, just a bit too tense even for a movie in it's genre. I do not consider this a horror film. It just lacks the macabre look and doesn't carry itself like one. NO SPOILERS: Sydney (Campbell) and her old friends, survivors of the first installment, are in college where a copycat killer succeeds at ripping off everyone she knows. The finale was the real downer. It dragged on way too long and the bad guys were not interesting. Followed by a sequel and countless imitations. ** (out of 4*'s)

This has got to be of the best zombie movies to date. And I hope they never remake this one! And if they shall ever do so, have Mr. Savini direct it!

The outrageous plot has four people setting up a quasi home in a shopping mall, as the world falls apart on the outside!

The american theatrical release is the best version I've seen. Argento's ZOMBI:DAWN OF THE DEAD cut is nice. Shorter in length, with more head shots, zombie deaths, better sound effects and more of the attractive Goblin score. (Beware of HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD). I might also add that the Italian cut is more of an action movie, than a horror movie!

A must see for every horror fan! OUTSTANDING!!! ;oD

The confusing vibe I get from this film bothers me. Too many mixed messages, one of them being "Don't under estimate a woman!" Or something like that... Which gives the film a real feminist man hater approach... in my opinion! Many scenes that were meant to be funny and shocking came out embarrassing. Alyson Hannigan fans might find this interesting. The characters behave very strange, though it does get exciting when it desperately has to show a nude female in the opening shot!!!! Trite! Many elements puzzled me, starting with Hannigan's little number with the French woman on the bus bench. Scene's that were thought to be good scenes turned out to be nothing. Characters that you start to like and feel sorry for suddenly become the characters you are suppose to hate, and some characters disappear for great ammounts of time and suddenly re-appear. In my over all opinion, it just wasn't about anything (new) atleast... I give it *1/2 out of 4.