Reviews

This movie is a depressing, enabling justification of the selfish behavior of Violet and weakness of Tom.

Everything you need to know about Violet's selfishness and Tom's weakness is summed up in Violet's statement, "Academia is my life" - not Tom, her (ostensible) love. Not her future children. It's academia that's her life.

THAT'S why, when there are dozens of cities with good universities and good restaurant scenes, Violet was willing to let her future husband suffer for years. She wanted to do donut experiments at a public school with a hot boss.

And as soon as Tom left, she hopped into the sack with an older man she had been lusting after. After Winton kissed Violet, she didn't say, "What are you doing? I don't love you! I have a man I love."

She stated, "I'm WITH Tom." "With" Tom? That showed you that she loved Tom, but wasn't IN love him. At that point, he was an accoutrement to her lifestyle.

Everyone knows that if you get into an emotional affair with someone at work, you leave that situation, even if it's your dream job. You don't put yourself in front of that type of temptation day after day, knowing that you're likely to have an affair and destroy the person you love...

...unless your job is more important than your significant other, and you see your coworker as a possible replacement. Violets stayed, working close to Winton (who she had feelings for) while she was actively making Tom suffer.

And when she talked to her sister about wanting a husband and children and "all that," but that academia was what she needed, that was another sign that academia was her love and a husband and children were only necessary to ADD to her lifestyle. She could have taught and done donut experiments almost anywhere else - and would have wanted to had she actually loved Tom.

And at this point, she STILL tells her sister she doesn't know if Tom is the right "cookie" she wants to take a bite out of. She knows working with hunky Winton on donut experiments is what she wants, but is not sure that a life and children with Tom is that appealing.

Tom was a giving guy when he agreed to leave the job he loved to move to Michigan with Violet. He wasn't weak, because he didn't know there would be no meaningful work for him there.

Once he knew he would be making sandwiches if he stayed there, he was at least man enough to leave when Violet told him, "It's OK for me to be selfish" and then confesses to him that she wants to stay in Michigan for years on end, having fun, knowing Tom's going to suffer.

And as soon as Tom left, she jumped in the sack with the man she had been lusting after. Yeah, she missed Tom. She was really broken up about losing him.

How does this movie make these two people out to be a sympathetic loving couple? Violet didn't make a mistake - she actively mocked Tom for years with her selfish behavior and told him to his face she wanted him to be a cuckold for many more years.

The movie perpetuates the stereotype of the weak, Jewish mama's boy after Tom came to the conclusion HE was wrong and went back to Violet to drive a taco truck after she actively made him suffer for years when she didn't have to - while being interested in her older-man boss.

This movie was NOT an exploration of people's common weaknesses and how difficult love is. It was absolutely a statement that selfishness and "having it all" for yourself is acceptable - with a cutesy ending that made all the pain Violet caused Tom acceptable.

The ending absolves Violet of all wrongdoing and tries to make her seem like a conflicted person who finally is wonderful because she hires a wacky jazz band for their wedding.

Violet was never conflicted - she knew exactly what she was doing to Tom for years and did it anyway. The film ended condoning Violet's self-absorption and Tom's cuckold weakness.

This is NOT a fun rom-com that couples should watch as a date-night escape.