Change Your Image
vlydianoctum
Reviews
Modern Family (2009)
Amusing and inoffensive (mostly), but that's about it
A show which makes me smile, but rarely makes me laugh out loud. The plots and jokes are fairly predictable. I'm also not a fan of Big Bang Theory or How I Met Your Mother for the same reasons. Those are also very popular comedies, so if you like those shows, you might like this one as well. I do appreciate the lack of soundtrack, and the characters are likeable. Although Phil seems a bit too much like Michael Scott from the later seasons of the office, and Julie Bowen just seems to be rehashing her character from Boston Legal. If you have already binged Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Parks and Recreation, and The New Girl, this might be worth a shot, but I'd definitely recommend those first if you're looking for wholesome comedies.
Hideous Houses (2012)
I hate these people
15 minutes in and I'm really hating these people. They seem to have absolutely no concern for the people whose houses they're working on. The budget is insanely small, which I get - the show is new, and if they don't have money, they don't have money, plus it doesn't seem like the homeowners are having to pay anything, and wouldn't be able to afford it if they did. But why only four days to do a whole reno? That timeline is insane, even for a small house. Hell, it can take over a week for other shows to fix up a garage to make it liveable. I don't know if it's because of this timeline that the hosts are stressed or what, but that's no excuse to just throw out impoverished people's stuff against their will and to completely talk over them while they're trying to speak. It feels like the showrunners don't care about the people living in the home at all except as a source of labor. Even the premise is to find "ugly houses", not "people in need of help".
Baking Impossible (2021)
Pointless
I'm sitting here "watching" the season finale, and realizing that I've only had this show on for background noise since about episode three. The idea is an interesting concept, but the marriage here between baking and engineering never works. The contestants don't make edible creations - they make motorized things made of food. There is a very clear distinction, as the cake that the judges eat are never a vital part of the machine. You could theoretically eat a bridge made of ramen and sausage casing, but who would want to? I thought I'd see things like a music box cake, where the only things inedible were the mechanisms. This is not that show - you're more likely to find that sort of thing on GBBO. As it stands, I'd rather watch two different shows about engineering and baking.
Futurama: The Prince and the Product (2023)
Hilariously dark
Was this episode written by someone who was very high? Probably. Nonetheless the entire episode, as disjointed as it was, was connected in theme. It seemed almost like Futurama's answer to the Treehouse of Horror episodes, and I found it thoroughly enjoyable, with some of the funniest jokes of the season so far. I do wonder if the entire episode was some sort of in-joke - perhaps Hulu demanded some sort of product placement? The tone of the show has somewhat shifted from previous seasons, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, as long as it finds its own footing. I have felt that most of the episodes of this reboot have been a bit lackluster, and it's good to see the writers starting to get their groove back. It gives me great hopes for future episodes.
The Village (2004)
One of the worst movies I have ever seen
This actually was the worst movie I had ever seen, until I saw the Wicker Man remake not long after. The twist was... okay, though it wpuld have been much better in a short story. Everything else about it was completely unnecessary. And seeing a disabled person kill another disabled person was just hard to stomach... especially since they were the only interesting characters in the movie. Other than the twist itself (which you knew there had to be, because Shyamalan) the rest of the movie was strangely odd and predictable at the same time. As in all of Shyamalan's movies, the cinematography was beautiful but meaningless. Not to mention what has to be his direction to all of the amazing actors in his films: Pretend you are a high schooler who isn't great at acting but think you are. I honestly don't know why I keep giving him a shot.
Morning Show Mysteries: Mortal Mishaps (2018)
It's a Hallmark murder mystery
So far, this show is.exactly as terrible as I thought it would be. I love it! Cyanide - excuse me, "cyanocide" comes in a canister and takes a huge amount to poison a cake. The characters immediately begin spouting obvious exposition. There is a crazy backstory about a man screwing over his boss/girlfriend and I can't wait until he ultimately shows up dead. I would recommend this to anyone for feels Murder, She Wrote is too scary. The EMTs.do a "preliminary tox screen" and declare a poison victim dead at the scene? In a packed restaurant? Marvelous. Holly Robinson Peete's acting is passable, Rick Fox's falls somewhere between basketball player and real actor, but Karen Robinson delights in a delivery just as awkward as her role on the also-bad Echoes. Definitely recommend for lovers of so-bad-its-good.
One genuine note: While HRP doesn't do the best delivery, the reveal is one of the more realistic I've seen in the genre. Sure there's a why-I-did-it speech, but there is an actual dialogue with sensible emotions. Also, as silly as it is, the actual mystery makes sense. It maybe wasn't the most unpredictable, but that can be hard to balance with dropping clues and not leaving plot holes. I find the latter two more important.
Something Borrowed (2011)
Painful
I don't know if I have the author of the original book or the screenwriter to blame, but one of them is a terrible person. The whole premise seems like it was written just to try to justify someone's actions and alleviate their own sense of guilt.