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Snow Beast (2011)
7/10
Not effects heavy, which is a good thing
12 August 2012
I had never heard of this movie and was a bit hesitant about watching it, thinking that this would be just another movie loaded down with lame digital special effects. I decided I'd record it on my DVR while I was at work and watch it the next day. I've actually never been this glad to be wrong about a movie. I was happy to see a monster movie that used good, old fashioned real effects instead of relying only on digital effects. Of course, the effects don't really make up for the predictability of the film. It was just a little too easy to figure out which characters would survive until the end and which ones would end up dead. Overall, not a totally awful movie, but not one I'd pay money to see.
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School Can be Hell
29 October 2011
Warning: Spoilers
This film was well worth what I paid to watch it, which was nothing. It started out promising, but very soon, became something that looked like a cheesy student film. The characters showed barely any emotion in their dialogue and their reactions seemed rather bland. The ghost children were confusing. One minute,the ghosts are telling the students that they're going to die and the next minute, they're trying to warn the students to get out. The characters spend most of the film getting on each other's nerves. There is such little character development that it becomes hard to want any of the students to survive. Classic horror movie clichés, such as having sex and wandering off alone equals death, run rampant throughout the film. The cast names in the credits verify this movie's low budget, as most of the cast and crew have the same name. The very last scene, after the credits, makes no sense at all. This movie's only saving grace was the visual effects of the ghosts. They were very nicely done for such an obviously low budget film. Take my advice, avoid this movie if at all possible.
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Pot Zombies (2005 Video)
1/10
$10,000? Really?
28 April 2011
Okay, first off, the only reason I gave this movie one star is because you can't give less than that. I could hear my brain cells dying in the first five minutes. The acting was CRAP! The dialogue was CRAP! If crap were on the bottom step, this movie would need a ladder to reach it. I have yet to fathom how this movie cost $10,000 to make. Maybe it was all the pot that was supposedly fake. I guess the only way I would really enjoy this movie is if I was high. I get that this movie is probably supposed to be a comedy, but just because it's making fun of horror movies doesn't mean it should be completely stupid. If you're thinking of buying or renting this movie, save your money. I was lucky enough to watch it uncut on television for free. So, while I didn't lose any money, there's a chunk of my life I'll never get back.
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Beyond Sherwood Forest (2009 TV Movie)
1/10
Who thought this movie was a good idea?
27 February 2010
Warning: Spoilers
I watched this movie for about thirty minutes and had to change the channel. Calling this movie Robin Hood with a dragon is being nice. I have seen bad movies, but this is one of the worst. Perhaps the best part of this movie was the fact that Maid Marion was a strong, independent woman instead of being a helpless damsel in distress. I did not understand the point of putting a shape-shifting dragon in the movie. Robin Hood was a good enough story without the monster. I also did not understand why they made Robin Hood a lousy archer. The whole point is that Robin Hood is supposed to be the world's best archer. Perhaps this movie would be a good cure for insomnia, but I'm not willing to watch it long enough to find out. Too bad "1" is the lowest rating you can give a movie in these reviews, because this movies deserves a much lower review than that. Do not waste your time with this movie. If you can't find anything better on television, read a book.
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Primeval (2007)
4/10
Rip-off
9 July 2008
Warning: Spoilers
When I read the synopsis for this movie, I was expecting to see a movie centering on a killer crocodile. I was rather disappointed when the movie turned out to be more along the lines of an action movie with a giant crocodile thrown in for the heck of it instead of the creature feature horror movie it was advertised as. The plot kept going away from the crocodile and going to the civil war that was taking place. Relatively speaking, the crocodile got very little actual screen time. Until Steven was being chased through the bush towards the end of the film, the audience never got a good look at the crocodile. This was an okay movie, but I'm glad I saw it for free on television instead of shelling out money to rent or buy it.
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The Tooth Fairy (2006 Video)
4/10
Trying to copy "Darkness Falls"?
30 May 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Where to begin. This movie started out as something that seemed like a rip-off of "Darkness Falls". An old , disfigured woman living in the woods, giving kids presents for their teeth. Sound familiar? Then it changes. In "Darkness Falls", the tooth fairy only killed you if you saw her. The tooth fairy in this movie killed you no matter what. Why did they need the rocker, his hippie girlfriend or the Bubbas and their sister? I think the movie would've been fine without them. It seems like the producers sat around and decided that they needed to put extra people in the movie just so the tooth fairy would have people to kill. Although, it's nice to see a pretty blonde girl not being portrayed as a bubble-head for a change. Okay to rent, but I wouldn't suggest buying it.
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10/10
Buy this movie
29 May 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Great movie. Not your typical horror flick. The beginning didn't make a whole lot of sense. It showed a girl being hanged from a banister. It didn't seem to connect to the movie much. The only connection to the rest of the movie was a black card that she dropped. It's the same card that Sid, Harris, and Kira find while they're drinking in the graveyard. The woman showing up in the bedroom freaked me out. When we find out the "Velma" is the reason the souls weren't put to rest, it makes you wanna just slap the &@$% out of her. There is a lesson to be learned here, though: Don't dance on graves. If you like horror movies, and you must, or else you wouldn't be reading this right now, then buy or rent "The Gravedancers". You won't regret it.
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