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Reviews
Star Trek: Picard (2020)
Not A Cringe Fanboy Review
OK, if you've found yourself looking at the reviews for the final season of Picard, then you're either a cringe fanboy looking for confirmation bias that it's terrible and crap and waaah, or you're a genuinely curious audience member without any biases looking for reflections on the show before/after viewing.
This review is by someone in the latter category.
So if you're tired of seeing one and two star reviews from entitled, sweaty man-babies, congrats: you've found one that's from an actually (somewhat) normal audience member.
REVIEW: it's actually pretty enjoyable.
There's plenty of warm and fuzzy's I got seeing these characters which I have shared moments with throughout my life as older gentleman embarking on a new adventure.
It's definitively influenced by the new wave of Star Trek started by JJ Abrams and Chris Pine (which I've never had a problem with, in fact, I think it makes for more exciting television/film). Anamorphic lenses and all.
I know that the old Star Trek formula is almost completely devoid of any panache or pizzazz and is solely focused on thought exercises and moral quandaries, and there is certainly a place for that in history, but new wave Star Trek seems to be focusing more on personal conflicts, and personal drama, rather than academics, which to me is perfectly serviceable.
TECHNICAL:
The look of the show is incredibly Moody, which, for me as a filmmaker is positively sumptuous, and is far superior to the flatly lit, overly saturated cardboard colors of yesteryear. The lens choice is lovely, the color grade is truly satisfying, and the editing is smooth. Also the music is really well done! Not always a given for TV.
The performances are somewhat stiff, but in an endearing way, clearly indicative of hokey-but-genuine early 90s television which has a nostalgic power for me personally. The characters seem to be themselves, which (again) is not always a given with legacy sequels. The adventure itself is for the time being somewhat simple, but there is a mystery box mechanism at play, which I am genuinely intrigued to see pan out.
I would personally recommend this show to anyone who's generally compelled by science fiction/space/adventure material.
If you've made it this far, congratulations.
Ummm... engage.
At Midnight (2023)
Super Duper Cute
Okay guys. When you choose this movie to watch, and other movies like it, you have to understand what kind of ride you're going on. You don't get in line for the goliath at Six Flags if you want a calm nice relaxing afternoon theme park ride. In the same way you don't put on "at midnight" if you're looking for awards caliber, cinema changing content. So you have to calibrate yourself to what you're choosing to watch. All that said, it was a super cute, intentionally cheesy, funny, romantic comedy that kept me and my fiancée, laughing and smiling and giving each other cheesy giggles from beginning to end. So If you don't have a giant, self-important, film-snob stick up your a**, I think you'll Enjoy this movie a lot.
Samaritan (2022)
Surprisingly Well-Done And Fun
I went into this movie with no expectations whatsoever other than to have fun. I never saw a trailer, only Instagram clips, nor did I have a full grasp of the story going into it. This allowed me to be open to whatever came my way, and I was pleasantly surprised!
A truly decent script, awesome performances, a great aesthetic, and a pretty good story/moral make for a truly fun and satisfying watch. I enjoyed it from start to finish, even though at times the logic got a bit muddled. Sly hasn't missed a step, and it was truly a joy seeing this new kid playing Sam absolutely kill it! Kid has a bright future. Shoutout to Pilou Asbæk as the villain, I always love when that guy pops up in films.
If you're on the fence about watching this little action flick, do it! You won't regret it!
The Last Witch Hunter (2015)
No idea what everyone is complaining about
A perfectly fine, fun, intriguing, moody and modern adventure featuring the mythos of Magic and Wicca. I actually preferred Vin Diesel in this over many of his other roles, he seems to be having more fun here than in other films.
I personally loved the camera work and aesthetic, I'm a huge mood geek when it comes to cinema. Granted, I wish the scale was a bit bigger, and the adventure a bit brighter, but that doesn't wholesale take away from the enjoyable film that it is.
I really wish there was a sequel, I'm certain they would have expanded the story and scope.
Obviously this film isn't going to win any Oscars or other awards, and it's not the most brilliantly intellectual film I've ever watched, but if that's what you were expecting here, then I'm afraid your cinematic compass is beyond screwed.
If you're on the fence about watching this, but are hampered by all the negativity, just ignore it and enjoy the show. For heaven sake's, it's fun, and what's wrong with a Film just being fun??
Halo (2022)
Enjoyable, but noticeably flawed. Split down the middle.
Credentials: halo fan since franchise began, read the books, played the games, watched the (usually awful) films and mini-series.
The Universe: of halo is quite large, sprawling even, the show is clearly making an attempt at condensing that universe to make it fit a TV show narrative. Fine. Unfortunately for us all I think the affect is that the universe ends up feeling small, which I think is a detriment.
The look: As an actor and director, it pains me to see the look that they've given the show. It's jarringly made for TV, plastic, no personality or feel, without any artistry or finesse in the cinematography. One could argue the same was true for the game, no big deal right? Wrong. If you transfer mediums, you must translate as well. Utilize the beauty of cinematography, don't neglect it. The show looks flat and clear and uninteresting, bland and lifeless and boring, the only thing that captures the eye is Master Chief... and people getting limbs blown off.
The writing: again, halo is a video game. The writing was never exactly masterful, so the fact that the shows dialogue is mediocre at best makes it digestible. Seems legit right? Wrong. Why wouldn't you craft more intelligent dialogue? Not even more brainy, I mean dialogue that's actually compelling. Seems like it was written by someone in the 10th grade: sloppy, disconnected, and at times silly. It gets the message across, but dammit if they couldn't have found it within them to hire someone with talent, or at the very least just stop trying to dumb down the writers material.
The design: some of it is fantastic, some of it is just silly. The designs from the game are identical, great. But EVERYTHING ELSE looks embarrassingly fake and unrealistic. "But reviewer!" You might say, "how do we know what's realistic in 500 years?!" To which I reply: "the human eye is one of the most advanced achievements in evolution, it can tell when something is fakey-fakey and when something is real. With regard to the artform, the eye must be shown something so lifelike, we can unconsciously set aside the fact that it isn't real and accept it for what it's supposed to be."
The cast: is the one thing this show is getting almost full marks on. Everyone is acting their hearts out and bringing life to the characters. If they weren't great, I wouldn't be watching the show.
AND GUESS WHAT YALL, DIVERSITY IS A GOOD THING. PEOPLE COMPLAINING ABOUT BKW DIVERSE THE SHOW IS AND HOW THERES SO MANY WOMEN. WELL GUESS WHAT. THIS WORLD IS FILLED WITH BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE OF ALL COLORS, CREEDS, SEXUALITIES, IDENTITIES ETC. TV AND FILM NO LONGER REVOLVE AROUND WHITE PEOPLE. IF YOUR FRAGILE LITTLE EGO CANT HANDLE SEEING PEOPLE OTHER RACES, ETHNICITIES AND GENDERS, THEN TURN OFF YOUR TV AND CRY.
Music: almost non-existent. All but complete Failure. The intro was a dead giveaway, just use the halo theme. But no, couldn't spend whatever amount they had to to license the whole track. Just an opening riff. Lame.
CGI: full marks, zero complaints.
Technical elements: OKAY THIS ONE I HAVE FULL BEEF WITH. THE FRAME RATE DROPS FRAMES IN SEQUENCES AND IT IS EMBARRASSINGLY SLOPPY. WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE?!?! WHY IS THEIR PIXELATION ON THESE EPISODE FILES?!?! INDUSTRY STANDARD IS 4K, USUALLY SHOT WITH 4K-8K, YOUR FLAGSHIP SHOW YOU SPENT MILLIONS OF DOLLARS ON SHOULD NOT BE BATTLING FILE COMPRESSION FOR QUALITY ON YOUR PREMIUM STREAMING SERVICE. EMBARRASSING. YOU HAVE BEEN AWARDED ZERO POINTS.
Well, that's all for now. Toodles!