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dangermatt
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Justice League Dark: Apokolips War (2020)
Wishes it was the DCAMU's ENDGAME but it's more like Marvel's "Ultimatum"
So this is the end of the DCAMU's series of interconnected movies that started with FLASHPOINT PARDOX back in 2013. This is supposed to be the culmination of the 15 movies and auxiliary shorts released by DC Animation over the past 7 years. It's crystal clear that the makers of this film were trying to ape the success of Marvel's AVENGERS: ENDGAME. However after watching this slaughter fest, I felt more like I'd watched an animated version of the Ultimate Marvel Universe mini "Ultimatum".
Directly following the events of DEATH & OF REIGN OF SUPERMAN and BATMAN: HUSH, Superman starts the movie off by making the mindbogglingly horrible decision to have the entire JLA invade Apokolips to destroy Darkseid once and for all. Before you can do your best Ackbar "It's a trap!" impersonation, the strike force is intercepted by crossbreeds of parademons and Doomsdays. The JLA gets slaughtered and Darkseid then proceeds to conquer Earth. This opening sequence sets the tone for the rest of the film, Constantine is the only competent hero in the whole movie and the rest of the established DC heroes are idiots for falling into one of the most obvious traps in history.
The plot holes continue piling up with the bodies as the movie cuts to two years later. Darkseid has conquered Earth and is now slowly destroying it with giant drills. Despite being injected with liquid Kryptonite, Superman is still alive (though depowered) and is gathering together the last remaining heroes for yet another try at defeating Darkseid. What follows is your standard last desperate suicide mission to get to the boss's lair before time runs out scenario. I would say this is made interesting by the numerous deaths of DC mainstay characters that follows but really they happen so frequently it just left me numb to it all. One character's death left me a bit confused cause you would only know her by sight if you had presumably watched all of the Batman related movies in the series. Just like Marvel's "Ultimatum", the deaths seem to serve no other function except to shock us.
This movie really makes one appreciate the running time allotted to ENDGAME as it gave time to really feel for the characters. This film tries to tell the same story in half the time and as a result, with the exception of Constantine, none of the characters really move beyond their stock profiles. Everyone is reduced to the bare minimum of character development in order to service the plot. Many characters in fact get no lines of dialogue at all, unless you count screams as they are eaten by Paradooms that is. Darkseid in particular is nothing more than a standard kill'em all one note bad guy. His initial conquering of Earth and it's heroes comes across as happening not because he's some sort of tactical genius, but that the heroes are complete idiots. The one fight in the movie that is of interest is Lois Lane punching it out with Harley Quinn in prison, just cause it's the one part of the movie that seems to be fun.
Then of course comes the film's climax which manages to feel both rushed and bloated at the same time. SPOILER WARNING: more than a dozen DC characters die, Superman goes through three different power ups, buildings explode all over while two characters die and are resurrected at the same time! Then finally Apokolips is destroyed with Darkseid punching it out with Trigon of all people. But if you are thinking the day is saved, boy are you wrong. With their ranks decimated and the Earth seemingly still headed for destruction, Constantine convinces the Flash that he should just mess up time again and wipe out the whole DCAMU! The movie ends with a fade to white as a literal reboot sweeps it all away.
JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK: APOKOLIPS WAR does at least perfectly sum up this series of DC animated films in one regard. It's a perfect summation of all the terrible ideas this series has gone with as it misguidedly tried to make the DCU heroes like the ones from Marvel. This is the same problem that befell the New 52 comics line that the movies took their clear inspiration from. Most ridiculously the film seems desperate to validate the use of reboots as a plot device, one that DC has become addicted to since they first used it back in the celebrated "Crisis on Infinite Earths" max series in 1985. Unlike ENDGAME, which took the stance that rebooting is the easy way out, APOKOLIPS WAR tries to justify the practice by leaving the characters in a world so destroyed and dark that the reboot is literally framed as a light of hope. But in reality all it does is remind us that the 15 films and 7 years it took to get here were in the end........pointless.
Star Wars SC 38 Reimagined (2019)
The original lightsaber duel how it should have been!
During the filming of the original Star Wars movie they attempted to create the lightsaber effect on camera with rotating blades covered in mylar tape. This crud experiment in creating the effect on camera greatly hampered the filming of the Obi-Wan/Darth Vader duel. The motors in the handles would stop moving causing the blades to disappear every time they struck each other. Adding to this was the inexperience of Vader suit actor David Prowse in swordplay and Alec Guinness' age. All these factors combined to make the least effective duel of the series and creator George Lucas going back to the drawing board on how to make lightsaber combat on screen for the next film.
Now more than 40 years later the duel has been reimagined with all the fire and fury one would expect from a rematch between the two combatants who last clashed in REVENGE OF THE SITH. Vader now attacks first with the same savagery we saw in his merciless slaughter of the rebels during the final moments of ROGUE ONE. Obi-Wan now utilizes a faster, more H.E.M.A based defense against Vader's savagery. The two now also use their Force powers, but in a subdued manner remaining consistent to the original trilogy. Props must also be given to the choreographer who has Vader switch between fighting one handed and two handed, staying consistent to his style in EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.
While the effect is not totally perfect, some shots of Alec Guinness' visage show that they are CGI'd to the stunt actor's face through the hood of his robe. This is still a remarkable achievement. Using what would probably be the equivalent of the catering budget on the recent Disney Star Wars films. This short has done a better job of recapturing the excitement of the original films than all of the Disney sequel films combined.
I wonder what George thinks of this short?
Birth of the Dragon (2016)
Who was the movie made for? It throws Bruce Lee so far under the bus, he's run over twice!
Who the heck was this made for? Bruce Lee fans? Well they will walk away pissed beyond belief that Bruce is not only portrayed as an arrogant, selfish, and all around a-hole. But he's also a supporting character playing second fiddle to a twerpy white guy! Adding even further insult to injury the film uses wire work in it's fight scenes, something Bruce vehemently hated and insisted on not using in the films he had creative control over.
Was it made for Wong Jack Man fans? Maybe though I wonder how many would be offended that Wong is so fictionalized into a saint that he might as well be called Wong Fei Hung. Wong was not a Shaolin Monk living in voluntary exile for nearly killing a man in a duel. Also he didn't go back to China cause he continued to teach martial arts at the Fort Mason Center in San Francisco till he retired in 2005.
Is it for Kung Fu movie fans? Well if that's the case then they have to put up with the silly melodrama and the twerpy white boy lead actor just to get to the two action scenes at the end. Those two are okay but they are the antithesis of the way Bruce himself wanted fight scenes to be done. Full of wire fu and CGI tricks. I guess we should be grateful they didn't use shaky cam too.
This film throws Bruce even farther under the bus than a previous film featuring him, IP MAN: THE FINAL FIGHT (2013) did. It throws him so far under the bus he gets run over twice! Not surprising at all that the Lee family didn't endorse this film.
Oh and btw when are Hollywood filmmakers gonna get the location of Lee's Bay Area school right? IT WAS IN OAKLAND YOU IDIOTS!
Watch DRAGON: THE BRUCE LEE STORY instead. It's got it's far share of fiction but atleast they got the character of Lee correct.
Dance to Win (1989)
Funniest bad fight scene in a movie ever!
This epically bad cliched ridden film answers that age old question: What do you get when you do Romeo & Juliet with the two groups as a street gang and a dance academy???
Besides that, and the chance to see future HIGHLANDER star Adrian Paul bust a move, the one thing that truly makes this movie epically bad is the "fight" scene that comes about half way through. The street gang (who are supposed to be the heroes of the film btw) decide the have a throw down with their rivals, an Asian street gang full of offensive stereotypes. The two groups meet and if you thought this would turn into a full on brawl, well then FOOLED YOU!
Instead the "fight" turns into a dance off with both groups showing off the best moves Paula Abdul could get them to do. But then one random white guy in the Asian gang breaks ranks and starts actually fighting with real marital arts moves! The whole thing then descends into glorious chaos as the groups break into one on one dance offs and an Asian girl whips out a pair of nunchukes to fight a guy doing Capoeria! Ah but when all hope seems lost for our street gang heroes, they are rescued by........THE ZOOT SUIT SQUAD! Seriously a third group comes in and start dancing in Zoot Suits. complete with wide brim hats! Amazingly these guys turn the tide and soon the Asian gang is sent packing. That one white guy in the Asian gang is triple teamed and then headbutted to death I assume.
This whole beyond silly sequence is set to "Song of the City" Performed by Curtis Womack. Watch this cheesetacular sequence..........IF YOU DARE!!!!!
Bloodmoon (1997)
BLOODMOON vs. KUNG FU JUNGLE
Did anyone else notice how similar these two films are? They both involve a crippled kung fu stylist who has gone nuts and is tracking down fighting masters and beating them in duels to the death. The police in both have to call upon a martial artist with a troubled history in order to catch the killer. Both feature fights with different styles of martial arts on display, including a sword duel. It's surprising to realize BLOODMOON beat Donnie Yen to the punch (pun intended) by nearly 20 years.