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1985. Marty Mc Fly arrives at the " Home " of one Dr. Brown. Whilst fiddling the front door he misses key information on missing nuclear material. He is lucky enough to find the left over remnants of a canned meal. As burnt as the toast he moves immediately to make some noise about it. Sadly his amplifier provides nothing but bad vibes. The ringing in his ears is not from a sound concussion but actually the now buried home phone. It's the Doc calling and Marty asks what's up? Doc needs Marty to bring his video camera (Not Beta) to twin pines mall at 1:15 am the following night. After checking his watch the Doc warns Marty rocking out might cause issues , nothing to blowup about Marty just nods , suddenly new ringing echoes from every corner of the ..house. It Doc's clocks announcing it's 8am. Which is perfect they are all 25 mins. Slow. I'm late for school.

After catching a truck and Jeep he boards his way to the high school. His girlfriend is there and attempts to steer him clear of the principal Strickland. No one knows a high school like a principal. After handing kids the required paperwork , Strickland mentions Doc Brown and a cookoo clock have at least one thing in common and suggests distance. Marty doesn't take to well to it. Strickland lays on the downplay by suggesting that he pull his band out of the band auditions for the school dance that afternoon. After all no Mc Fly ever amounted to anything in the history of hill valley. That Marty says will change. Of course , later that afternoon , A teacher who looks suspiciously like Huey Lewis , tells the fellas that even if they tricked Joan Jett's baseman to play with them they are still " Just too loud ". Next.

While hanging out with his girl conversations stretch from audition tapes to Toyota 4x4s. Jennifer is going to the lake with Marty but is upset his mother does not know. Marty trys to explain how uncool mom is and gets close to sealing the deal on some lip action. Until of course some busybody trying to save a clock that was hit by lightning before cars were invented interrupts. Marty shoos her away with a quarter getting a flyer he doesn't want and turning back for the tomfoolery just in time for her dad to pull up and honk. The Flyer serves as the notepad for a number and a future connection. Marty after a moment , surrenders to police custody and begins the long haul home. He arrives just in time to see his weekend plans wrecked. Inside he finds the usual exchange between his father George and his arrogant co worker Biff complaining about how his cars blind spot caused him to miss the middle turn lane and that the wreck caused him to spill beer all over his shirt. Later at dinner , Marty is given a pep talk , cake his uncle Joey won't get in prison, And a message from Jennifer Parker , well she called. Mom is not pleased and gets on Marty's case. Eventually , this leads to the 10000th re telling of how mom and dad met , it was stupid , grandpa hit him with the car. No one still knows why Dad was in the middle of the road anyway.

At 1230 am Marty awakens to his phone ringing. He Denies falling asleep after a good yawn. Out past curfew and central hill valley he rolls up on Brown's truck and Twin Pines mall , named after a 1950s tree farmer who sold it off years back. He had this crazy idea about breeding pine trees. Einstein the dog who missed all the previous canned meals greets Marty and the back hatch of the truck opens allowing a delorean to roll out and brown to smack his head and fall out. Elated to see Marty he places the dog in the car and shows off his remote control. Filming the entire time Marty sees a real remote control car scale 1:1 in action. On a pause , Brown drags Marty to the point directly across from the car. According to some calculation a speed of around 88 mph will be some serious stuff. Marty considers moving out of the speeding cars path , Doc has done the math and pulls him back. The car lights up and BBQs its way to the future leaving fresh charbroil marks on Marty's Nike's.

Doc explains the De Lorean is in fact a Time Machine and will be back in a hot minute. Right on que , one car , really cold , delivered on time. The dog is fine but his watch is slow , proving something both Marty and the viewer have no clue what that is but it's good enough for Doc. Next , Doc explains the radioactive nature of the flux capacitor and its creation. Also the terrifying story about how he obtained plutonium for a pinball machine. After suiting up and feeding the reactor , Doc leaves Marty with instructions for the dog and almost forgets his cotton underwear. In the middle of the farewell , Libyan terrorists roll up and something is clearly bugging them. Sadly , they kill Doc and Marty hops in the car for an escape post haste. After speeding around the terrorists attempt to test a rocket so Marty speeds away over 88 just in time to miss the bad guys photo finish. A wander far afield from a 1980s mall , Marty gets the carp scarecrowed out of him and hides in the barn. Old man Peabody and his family determine he is a mutant and shoot to kill. Marty wastes no time with a sales pitch , cutting to the chase , running over a pine, and missing Peabody's final special delivery. As the sun rises it goes from bad to worse. How do you run home to mom and dad when your neighborhood has not been built? Better yet , if your car is out of gas?

Hoofing it to town Marty learns what 1950s Hill Valley looked like. Stopping in at a diner , he locates Doc's address , is told he must pay for pepsi and can't run a tab till he orders something. Then he watches as teenage Biff bullies his teenage dad. Marty is in shock as it is but the realizes the Diner is cleaned by the future mayor. George Mc Fly heads of to his appointment with Grandpa and Marty arrives just in time to see his dad checking out his mom. He then falls in the street is almost hit by a car and Marty is hit by the car. His mom's fathers car. Waking up in his mom's room , in his mom's bed he covers brief topics like underwear fashion and coast guard work. Invited to dinner , Marty tell everyone about re runs and and where JFK drive is. After a pass by his mom , he bolts for the door. His grandfather tells his mom he'll disown her if she has a kid like him.

Doc is living in a house that is not a Burger King. He won't listen too Marty's stories about being from 1985 and about actors running the government 30 years later. However , hitting his head on the toilet and showing him the De Lorean works way better. After figuring out how to screw in a camera to a 1950s tv , Doc is shocked to discover that he will need 1.21 Gigawatts of electricity to send Marty back to the future. The only thing in 1955 that can generate that is a bolt of lightning. You never know where they will ever strike. Except for the historical flyer Marty has telling them exactly where one will strike. So next Saturday night they send him back to the future. That's cool he gets to hang out in 1955 , no. Doc puts his foot down and grounds Marty. Then the bomb. Marty has already run into his parents and his brother's future head is missing.

So Marty must fix the damage he has done by hooking his father up with his mother. It's hard and Marty has to torture his old man with Van Halen and use the force to convince him to go after his Mom even with Biff in the way. Marty makes his plan and after giving Biff a load of manure over his driving skills , he drives his mom to the fish under the sea dance. No it was the enchantment under the sea dance. George is holding stag for the appointed time. Marty's mom makes her move but doesn't like it . Thankfully , George opens the door. Except it's Biff , he tells his gang to dump Marty in a trunk and moves in for some quality time with Mom. Biff's gang do as their told and the brother's do not take it kindly.

George opens the car door and delivers the agreed upon line. Biff tells him to split. Listening to his future wife's pleas , George says no. Biff decides to throw the smack down on George and attempts to break his arm. Mom jumps Biff and he throws her aside , George is a little miffed and drops Biff flat with Mike Tyson's signature hook shot. After spinning out at his one hit wonder George gets the girl and is off to the dance. Marty is freed from the trunk and in return agrees to play guitar for the band. George is tested again and again after a moment reclaims his date. Marty was almost going to disappear for that one. The band wants a good number to finish the evening. Marty suggests some thing in the blues range. Johnny B. Goode and Marvin Berry be Goode friends with Chuck , cousins in fact. After his solo act receives the correct response from his parents generation , he attempts to get out of being grounded.

At Doc with a few minutes to spare he get the low down on the return trip. Doc discovers a message about the future and Marty argues that his life depends on it.

In all the fun the lightning cable gets disconnected. Doc sends Marty too the start point. Marty resets the cars watch to go back and warn him. After a connection is made last second Marty crashes into the theatre in 1985 hill valley. Looking around he jumps in the car to heads to the mall. It dies , no gas of course. There is plenty in the terrorists van that goes right by him. Running for Doc's life he arrives at Lone Pine Mall to watch him killed and to see himself jump back to 1955. Doc changed his mind , read the letter and wore a bulletproof vest. Whatever. After a ride home Marty watches Doc jump to the future and crashes for the night.

The next morning he discovers his life changed , his dad writes a novel and he owns a truck that Biff just waxed. Jennifer meets him to go to the lake , but Doc returns , something is wrong with his kids. They don't need roads either.

I'm alarmed this was ever filmed.

Jones is having a nightmare. Remembering an encounter with the nazi's decades ago. He still hates those guys. Blowing his cover he is hung up for all to interrogate. Then the Americans drop a bomb , freeing him from the noose. He lifts a car to escape the blast but has Nazis in the back seat and an escort. After a wrong turn he bails from the car and bikes his way to the train below. Inside a good friend , Basil Shaw , is being interrogated. Jones incognito , relieves a sacred lance from Nazi guards on board. Careful examination reveals the lance is fake. A fact being revealed to the commander of the interrogation at that very moment. The scientist has something better. A piece of the antikytheria a dial that can predict time. The commander laughs the scientist off and begins pursuit of Jones. Who slips past him and saves Shaw. Shaw snags the antikytheria piece and they make a daring escape to...

1969. Henry Jones jr. Now more senior than such is awoke to daylight by his beatnik neighbors all nighter. Between the crummy instant coffee and the pending separation of himself and Marian it's off to another day of professoring. He is completely oblivious to the fact América will land on the moon. His lecture that day was less than inspired or understood. The sacking of Syracuse. No not New York. Italy , the home of Archimedes , and the starting point for the antikytheria. Only one student seems to know this or have done the assigned reading. What little attention his lecture received was tuned out when a television appeared suddenly displaying the Apollo 11 astronauts. Professor Jones has a short clock indeed. His retirement party occurs post haste. After giving away the clock , he bides his time at a local bar. Helena Shaw joins him for a drink and a discussion on everything antikytheria. Across town an older more determined German scientist discusses ancestry while sitting down for a hot meal. As the retirement celebration continues Jones realizes his friends daughter is after the antikytheria and for legit academic reasons. Jones is concerned his friends daughter is pursuing the very think that drove her father crazy. He is unaware that the German Scientist is also pursuing her with the help of the United States Government.

Back at his former college Jones show the half of the dial to Shaw's daughter and Dr. Schmidt sends his henchmen to collect. Jones reveals her father's notion that the dial if use properly might be able to predict time. Schmidt's goons ransack Jones office while eavesdropping on the conversation. The conversation turns to the lost half of the dial and Jones tunes in to the inconsistencies of her remarks. Shaw is about to be caught when one of Schmidt's henchmen brings a gun to point. Shaw takes off , the fed after her.

Jones grabs the remaining evidence and follows but gets shut out of the pursuit. After showing Schmidt's goons the stairs. Jones shelves any possibility of conversation and runs out. On the way tripping over the two people Schmidt's goons killed. Shaw continues her roof top escape with goons and the agent in tow. Shaw escapes into the local parade.

Jones is not so lucky. He is captured and interrogated. Sadly , his captors are poor drivers , they get out and join the parade. After much horsing around Jones frees himself and catches the subway.

Schmidt concludes an interview and receives a very important call. The agent informs him of Shaw and Jones escape. She then orders him to Los Angeles to receive his medal.

Schmidt has other plans and orders his goons to take him to Morocco. Jones is catching some television and Salah picks him up and drives back to his place. He drops the 411 on Shaw being a smuggler of contraband and black market profiteer. After getting the rundown on the Mao bosses and location of sales Jones hops a plane for Tangier. In flight , he remembers the night he took the dial piece from Shaw's father. His demand of its destruction. Landing in Morocco jones arrives at the hotel atlantique in enough time to stop the bidding. However , Schmidt has arrived also to reclaim his property. After a brief history lesson , fighting ensues and Jones cracks the whip. The rest of the room cocks their guns.

In the chaos Shaw snatches the dial passing it to her man all of 13. He is caught by the goon squad and the dial is given to Schmidt , who gives Jones the shaft. Jones and Shaw in hot pursuit suddenly find themselves the center of attention by the local mob owing to Shaw's previous love affairs. Teddy , Shaw's soon to be man picks Jones and Shaw up it the market and they cart race across Tangier after Schmidt with her ex in tow. Jones crashes and Shaw and Teddy jump Rickshaw. The ex becomes more daring and Schmidt more desperate as Jones joins Shaw's side crashing one cart. Shaw never one to sit still jumps to Schmidt's ride attempting to claim the dial. Jones opens the door for a goon and the ex show up and blasts them apart. Jones plugs up the ex and his car first and then plugs the radiator with gum so they can make the airport.

Schmidt captured by the US military revolts against his American handlers stealing their chopper and killing them all. Meanwhile Jones and company catch the red line to a boat charter in Athens , Greece. The captain is an old friend of Jones. That night the course of life is discussed . Jones expresses his concern over Shaw and reveals the death of Mutt in Vietnam. The next day the team goes of the deep end . Only for three minutes. They search the wreck below and find the cargo , Jones gets scared at all the eels his cords are all tangled. On the surface Schmidt and his men capture the boat. After hauling off Jones and his friend to a room he gets Shaw's services for some shiny rocks and she appears to translate the problem for Schmidt , while offering an explosive diversion to facilitate the groups escape. Jones upset at his friends sudden death is not happy. He is much more pleased that Shaw fed Schmidt the misdirection Arcimedies intended. After which the tablet exposes the correct place to visit for the second part.

The group arrive in Sicily after a few hours on the red line. Teddy wanders off for Gelato but is nabbed by Schmidt. Arriving at the specified ruins , Jones and Schmidt go head to head in a race for the second part of the dial , leading both to the tomb of arcimedies. The tomb itself reveals some surprising facts not only was he good with math but he had a penchant for non existent wrist watches. In their moment of surprise Schmidt and his goons reclaim the dial at gunpoint. Adding the final part from the tomb it is re assembled.

With help from Teddy , Jones manages to shoot their way out but is wounded. The goons collect him at Schmidt's order. As they ride to airport , Schmidt explains how the dial tracks time fissures and changes outfits also adding a very familiar wrist watch. Schmidt is planning to kill Hitler.

Once aboard the plane Jones is seated. Teddy lifts a plane for pursuit pilot included. Shaw catches a ride in the wheel well. The plane is on course headed for a fissure as charted over Syracuse. No not New York. Jones realizes Schmidt has a flaw in his plan . Archmedies did not know about Continental drift. His calculations are wrong. For the warning Jones receives a knuckle Sandwich. The plane enters the fissure an emerges out of control. As for Teddy his " stowaway " wakes up and demands his plane back. Both panic when their engines give out. With simple skills and restarts both planes regain control. Schmidt celebrates his success. The plane strafes to the surface and there is warfare all about.

The ships. They are wrong. They are Roman. This is not 1939. The impossible is confirmed when a shot from an onshore ballista pierces their engine. They have arrived for the siege of Syracuse. No Not New York. 214 BC. Archmedies stands in his tower informed of the Roman Dragons that are attacking. The unfinished dial on his workshop desk.

Schmidt orders the plane to return but a well timed ballista shot takes out the pilot. Shaw makes her move and sheds some Nazi cargo. Archmedies purses the dragon as it goes down crashing on the shoreline. Teddy insists they land to pick up Jones and Shaw. Archmedies arrives at the crash site and relieves Schmidt of his wristwatch. His apprentice discovers his completed dial. Then Jones and Shaw land near them. A charging soldier attempts to kill them but Archmedies assistant puts him down with som well placed arrows.

Jones is going to stay but Shaw isn't having it , and she crosses fists with Jones jaw.

1969. Jones wakes up in his bed. The dial rests near the phone. His shoulder wound bandaged and healing. Shaw greets him and he complements her on her hook shot.

He asks why she did leave him. She says he couldn't be left he would have changed history. He was meant to be in 1969. For who he asks? As if written in a script Marian Re Appears with groceries. Salah pops in to say hi and then he and Shaw take the kids for ice cream. Marian and Jones begin reconciliation.

Shaw was right everything belongs in it's time. This 20th century piece belongs to the past.

The 1950s. Rock n Roll. Diners . Hot rods. Motorcycle gangs. Jock culture. And as Jones reminds us. Russians.

After being unpacked from the trunk , Jones grabs his hat and finds himself in a nameless desert surrounded by russkies attempting to gain access to a nameless generic building.

While his sidekick embarrasses both of them , Jones as usual has no love for the Comrades with arms. The red captain is more than happy to serve Jones his favorite lunch. The Knuckle Sandwich , as tasty as that new Mc Donald's. However , his superior Col./Dr. Spalko disapproves . The Russkie boss , well actually eastern Ukrainian , give the bite of her W's , is more interested in information that the usual Cold War exchange. In spite of her magnetic personality Spalko is unable to gain knowledge by extra sensory means , there fore the Hangar door is blow up so it can be found the hard way. What? A metal container the US government stored in the warehouse the are entering. It looks familiar the warehouse. Who know what holy artifacts are contained within. However , the russkies are gunning for something more alien. Jones , taking advantage of a moment of awe , whips his guard and pins the russkies down. Friends just aren't what they used to be. Mac is a double agent for team red. Jones has the final words. He likes Ike. As the shots ring out Jones flat foots it after Spalko's Jeep. Clearly , he's not a crack shot anymore with the whip missing the Jeep and getting close to two passengers in the rear truck cab.

Santa whip he jump Spalko and crashes the Jeep through several crates. On of which contain an item he lost. Now in control of the Jeep he plays a rousing game of Chicken Kiev With Boris and Mac. After the crash Jones takes the high road and fends of the Red Captain while Jetting his way clear of the situation.

After his escape he comes across a desert town and stops in to borrow the phone , knocking first of course. The likely hood of phoning home from mannequin land is slim to none and there is an even bigger problem. Several kilotons bigger. It takes a minute but Jones clears out the Crisco and wedges his way into the latest lead lined Ice box. A good place to chill for a nuclear bomb test. The russkies add to pollution as quickly as possible and the townsfolk melt over it. Jones is pitched over the Comrades as they suffer a crushing defeat. Jones and the locals discover it's an open and shut case. The mushroom cloud confirms the test. After hitching a ride back to base and getting an improper scrub down , the CIA offers Jones a real shakedown. It's clear the intelligence officials have none of their own on the Alien matter. General Ross sheds further light on Spalko and her background despite intelligence objections.

Back at home the FBI is make life in halls of academia quite difficult. After a tense discussion with the department head Jones is placed on leave indefinitely. Not the best day at the office one can have. His friend falls on the sword for him and he begins packing his bags. The hysteria of communism has a high cost not lost on the loss of his father or Marcus Brody he moves on. That plan is a train that has already left the station. A leatherhead named Mutt drops the bomb on Jones that a friend of his is going to be killed and needs help. Between discussions of politics and style , Jones figures out his buddy Oxley may have discovered a clue leading to the ancient city of Acator. Jones is interested and so is Mutt for his reasons , sadly so is the KGB. Mutt is up for the rumble but brought a knife to a gunfight. One thing América can be reliably counted on for infighting. One solid right hook to the Jock and every Greaser in the bar is in a rumble. The KGB is as fast as Jones and Mutt are at escaping and the chase is on. Pretty soon , Jones and Mutt are leading the carbound russkies on a ride through Yale. Breaking up protests , dethroning Brody and lecturing about the need for fieldwork , Jones and Mutt steer clear of the reds.

Back at home base , Jones figures out Oxley's jibber is letter is actually a clue and a message that the skull , and himself are in the Nazca region of Peru. Jones , Mutt and the motorcycle Board the red line.

On the ground in Peru , Mutt picks up the fact he's not in Kansas anymore , they don't even speak Spanish some of which he actually knows. They head for a local asylum Oxley was held at recently. Along the way Mutt picks up Jones was kidnapped by Pancho Villa when he was younger. Jones also unknowingly picks up Mac. The sister at the convent explains that Oxley was released at gun point to another party. She shows them his room. After some cleaning , Jones determines Oxley has found the Spanish Conquistador rumored to have been lost searching for Acator. At a nearby graveyard they fall on broken ladders , dodge poisonous locals and get stung by scorpions. After going nowhere fast Jones and Mutt find the lost party. Mummified but still intact for the most part , one is opened. Behind its leader is the crystal skull Oxley is obsessing over.

It is clear Oxley found the skull but then returned it. But why? That's what Mac and his employers want to know as well. Jones and Mutt are escorted on red airways via the red line to to another part of Peru and shipped off to the jungle.

Jones finds him self in camp guarded by what looks like the Russkie equivalent of Jon Cena. Mac tries to convince Jones he's just a regular sell out for gold no politics needed.

Jones isn't having it. Spalko then returns. Unlike the lust for gold Mac has , she thirsts for military supremacy. The skull is her Atomic bomb. She fancies herself the red Oppenheimer. She already has a bomb for Jones. The reds recovered two little grey men from their side of the world not counting ours from Roswell that makes a trio of UFOed Aliens also looking for Acator. Jones can't believe his ears or his own eyes as Spalko shows him the crystal skeletal structure of the lil guy from Roswell. Spalko believes the skull communicates telepathically with only a select few. She requires Jones assistance to translate Oxleys gibberish into something she can use to search for the city. After she takes possession the reds will psionically reprogram the United States leaders. Jones is forced into the mind meld to which Mac brings a halt not letting it damage him. Jones breaks his nose for it..

Spalko pushes the narrative along by threatening to cut Mutt's leash. Besides his bike being lost , Mutt know fleas when he sees them and tells Jones to shut it. Spalko , ups the ante when she decides Jones might react more favorably to his mother being threatened. You know the type that runs bars in Nepal. Jones toys around with fact that mother and son stand before him and that yes actually WW2 is over. Now back in redville Marion greets Jones with all the love and adulation he deserves. Sadly the lovers quarrel is in trumpeted by Oxley's need to attend art class. The writing being on the tablet the expedition gets underway. During the ride , several items of importance get sorted out like Jones is Mutt's father and yes he's going back to school. Mutt agrees with the russkies the fighting is too much. They try to put a sock in mom but Jones and Mutt give them the boot. After dropping off dead weight Jones shoots a missile cutting the convoy down to size. Spalko is not amused. Lining her ducks in a row they take as Jones and company commandeer their own. Jones bails on the family and knocks heads attempting to regain the skull which is passed to Spalko. Mutt isn't fencing over wanting the skull as drives the point how to Spalko. As he points out to mom he is not in fencing class and his just could get whacked. They do. During all the fun Mac finally clues Jones into the fact he is double agent. Mutt continues to be split on killing Spalko and defending his nuts when a sudden jolt changes the topic to role reversal. Mutt grabs the skull and beat his red chauffeur senseless while Marian and Spalko trade shots. Spalko returns the car and Mutt is given a back seat. He gets hung up by Jones look and by the vines overhead. The chase in beckoning a real edge of your seat cliffhanger.

Not intending to monkey around Mutt goes in pursuit of a new ride. Mutt, his swing in full gear and unseats Spalko. While his new friends monkey around he bails back to Jones car just in time for a car wreck. Spalko gets her gun and takes charge but something other than Jones is bugging her. Ants . Big ones , they really bite too. Spalko calls for backup but the place just crawls. Jones and Oxley are jumped and Mutt and Mac catch a ride too the River.

Oxley uses the alien skull to keep the arena safe for the red captain and Jones. Spalko discovers the ants has an unhealthy appetite. Jones removes the stick from the red captain's Butt and watches the ants door dash him. With Spalko on the ropes , Jones and Oxley back for the ride , Marian drives off a cliff brushing Spalko's men off the cliff and down the river. Three times is drops.

After a day at the water park Jones and all in tow wash up ashore. Once recovered, they again face the truth. Passing through the cavernous entry point they learn of the Aliens time on earth and the teachings imparted. Oxley leads the way to the city , but the residents are not happy to be disturbed. Spalko has washed up meanwhile, and continues her pursuit. After leaving the welcoming committee Jones and company bust some heads and gain entry to Acator. After racing down the stairs , they discover the gold room. While discussing gold and artifacts , Oxley discovers the board room. Contained within is the ruling council. 13 aliens minus one head. They return to their dimension , Mac dies over his greed and Spalko's lust for knowledge burns her. Riding the rapids the group sees Acator wash up right before their eyes.

Like the prairie dogs. Your left wondering what all the ruckus is about.

1938. A couple years after the arc is thrown into a military warehouse , Indiana Jones is enjoying life at sea. With bad weather and a free knuckle Sandwich included.

There is a man aboard this ship with a cane and he is very cross with Jones. This is the second time Jones has stolen his personal possession. Jones protests it is worthy of a museum , the owner argues he is too. When he orders Jones thrown overboard much fisticuffs ensue. Catching the right cross before bailing overboard Jones watches his nemesis ship go down in flames.

Back on campus Jones imparts the difference between fact and truth. Also noting Dr. Tyree has philosophy classes down the hall. After handing over the prize to Brody , he retreats to an office full of complaining students , ungraded term papers and mail from Venice , Italy. Being enthused by none of it he jumps out the window. Then is immediately cut off by a goon squad. Later he waits at the study of Walter Donavan a grail enthusiast. The subject is as to be expected first he presents a tablet recently unearthed which verifies the tale of an old Franciscan friar from sometime before the invention of pizza. Jones refers Donavan to his father the real expert but there is a snag. He already hired Jones father , who is now missing. After a little looking around Jones with Brody in tow head for Venice , Italy.

Jones sits down for some light reading and continues to rack up his air miles on the red line. Arriving in Venice proper he connects with his contact Dr. Schneider. As the introductions go on they head to a library one church. Using a clue found in the mail from Venice he finds the entrance to a tomb beneath. X marks the spot.

Along with long dead bodies the tunnels are filled with oil and rats. It's a long and stressful walk but after risking the plague and worsening carbon emissions they find the tomb of the first knight . The shield within contains a complete copy of the stone table. No sooner than they have the knowledge than do bad things begin to happen.

A new enemy appears and they must match wits to survive. After popping out of the sewers they proceed to run from the new henchmen in boats. One of them tries to tag along.

After ejecting the first , Jones propels the second to answer his question regarding his fathers location. Only to happy to oblige the would be assailant inform Jones his father is held at a castle in Germany near the Austrian border.

Back at base Jones and Brody determine that the starting point for the grails location is the city of Iskenderun. Jones goes to spread the news but finds Schneider's room and his ransacked. Then a tiff ensues being resolved in bed. Brody flies to Iskenderun to meet Salah. Jones and Schneider head to a Nazi castle to rescue his own father. O the red line they decide to pose as a Scottish lord and student...the castles butler is not putting up with any Mickey Mouse. So he gets the smack down. Why so inhospitable? Nazis. Jones hates those guys. The alarmed door is clearly where they are holding his old man so he crashes through the window. After a brief father son chit chat , the Nazis enter and demand the diary. After a fight for show Jones kills the Nazis and finds Schneider held hostage. Jones wants to save her but father says she's a Nazi. Stunned Jones can't decide and surrenders. Afterwords, during the interrogation Schneider reveals that Brody must have the map.

Brody arrives in Iskenderun unable to talk to anyone completely lost , until Salah finds him. As quickly as he does so do the Nazis. After a quick bit of shenanigans, Brody is captured. Back at the castle the Jones boys are being taught the proper way to say goodbye in both Austrian and German. While trying to escape they burn the house down and do little to improve their situation. After learning the value of just sitting a moment and thinking , they hope a bike to Berlin to fetch the grail diary. There Jones relieves Schneider of the diary and gets it autographed by histories greatest villain. After which they set off to rescue Brody and stop the Nazis from getting the grail of course. Catching the first blimp out proves problematic at best and the Joneses steal a plane to escape when the blimp heads back to Berlin. Jones father is surprised his son can fly. Fly yes. Land no. After trying to play the game that got the red Baron a pizza named after him , they " land " into the side of a barn. Borrowing a car proves just a futile as they are strafed of the road an onto a beachhead. Out of bullets and seemingly out luck , the older Jones gets the featherbrained idea of startling thousands of nearby seagulls. The gulls fly right in to the plane's propellers bringing it to crashing end.

After trading a Rolls Royce for Camels, provisions , an armed escort and Tanks , Donavan , Schneider, Brody and the Nazis in tow begin their journey. Salah and the Joneses head out to catch up in his brother in laws car. As is pointed out there is no award for second place in this race. Things are going well until the car is blown up by a tank. After which a column of armed men , the ones from Venice , attack the Nazis. In all the ruckus the elder Jones jumps into the tank with Brody but is captured. The younger Jones learns of this from Salah while discussing the fact that five camels are not equal to no camels. Jones assaults the tank head on with his horse. Elsewhere , Donavan arrives at the canyon of the crescent moon.

After rescuing his father Jones , Jones and company are captured and brought to the entry of the grail hall. Someone is not happy and heads are rolling for it. After a philosophical debate , Donavan concedes and mortally wounds Jones Father. Jones must now pass the three tests. Using his fathers diary for cliff's notes , Jones passes In penitence , Ancient spelling and Occular Illusion. After his success he is greeted by the last of three knights. There is not much time , not enough in fact before Schneider and Donavan arrive. They must choose the correct cup to drink from. Donovan chooses...poorly. Jones chooses the cup of a carpenter ...the occupation of the being during its time on earth. He chose wisely but in order to be immortal he must remain in a cave , no internet door dash or air conditioning. Uh huh , first things first Jones runs out to the entry to heal his old man and does. Schneider sees the opportunity and attempts to remove the cup. After it falls into a crack Jones loses her while she tries to get it , the same almost happens to Jones himself except the old man tells him to let it go.

They run out before the whole place falls apart. Before riding into the sunset the father reveals that Jones nickname was taken from the family dog.

Long and implausible. A plot as dry as the desert it was filmed in.

" the only good that came out of this movie was I met my wife " - Steven Spielberg

Oh yeah . You know you have a hit on your hands with that quote.

Shanghai , 1935. One year before Jones and Belloch go at it after the arc of the covenant . Indiana Jones is after one thing alone. Well two things. Fortune and Glory.

Tonight at club Obi-Wan it is just fortune. Jones is present for delivery of payment. He has successfully retrieved the remains of Nirhatchi and is set to return them , for payment , to chinese businessman Lao Che. Businessman is a loose term of course. After checking in with the club wait staff , Jones and Lao Che discuss the pressing matters of the evening.

Enter Willie Scott , an American singer on contract at club Obi-Wan. After she is introduced Jones wastes not time getting to the point. Payment. The purse is passed and Jones is not happy with just plain old gold. The Diamond. He wants the diamond. Lao Che grudgingly gives it up , in return receiving his prized ancestor. After an ill received cocktail the tables are turned on Jones when he is poisoned and his ally shot and killed. Jones in no mood for games fires at tasty shot back at Lao Cho's top man. Willie goes for the rock.

Jones dives for the antidote and both hit the floor , Jones decks everyone , even a card girl , while Willie searches for the real Ice. She nabs the antidote and Jones grabs her avoiding Tommy gun fire , jumping out the window , they are going , going gong.

After the fall the sit back and cruise to the airport , avoiding Lao Che's men and assisting rickshaws in gaining traction for a quicker arrival. It's a race to the plane and Jones waives good bye to Lao Che as he departs. Lao Che will have the last laugh however. Racking up air miles again , Jones naps. His favorite hobby on the red line. Everyone else follows Their fearless leader to slumberville and the pilots , acting at Lao Che's command , bail leaving Jones and company with no notice , fuel or parachutes. Short on flying lessons Jones tries to wing it but runs into a raft of issues. Bailing out at the last second they hop a boat and surf their way over snow and rapids to a final landing near the town of wesalostin , India. A local guide returns him to his village where they attempt to book an elephant to Delhi. The villagers have something else in mind. That and Willie's bad table manners are discussed over dinner. Then it occurs to Jones , there are no children in the village. The guide explains what has occurred. Jones will receive his ride to Delhi , With a detour to Pangkok Palace.

The journey is pretty uneventful besides the wildlife and elephant antics. The skies are covered in Giant Vampire Bats. That however is not what scares of their guides.

The butchered human remains might have. Jones and company arrive on foot to the palace and are greeted by the maharaja's minister. Given rooms and facilities and fresh clothes the group settles in for dinner and conversation. The subject of Jones and a certain Madagascar misunderstanding and the issue of the village are discussed as an extravagant meal of Snake Surprise , Bugs and eyeball soup are served. For dessert the main attraction , chilled monkey brains. After dinner Jones wows Willie with fresh fruit and they proceed to begin nightly affairs. Jones more than willing to discuss nocturnal habitual rituals is snared up mid conversation by the large thuggie cult member. After things come to blows the cult member gets hung up over the fact that Jones is just not fan. Jones returns to Willies room and finds a secret passageway no one wanted to see.

As if the two dead guys were not warning enough , Jones and Short Round get trapped . Willie makes no bones about the fact that it's beginning to bug her. After freeing the two they go for a beautiful lava side cave stroll and witness a guy being burnt alive. Revealed as well the villages missing Shankara stone.

Having seen enough Jones whips on down and steals the stones. Leading to a need to escape. As they make their way out of the caverns they come upon a slave labor camp filled with children. Owing to an I'll fated decision Jones is captured and turned into a brainless servant of the cult leader. Or so it would appear. Willie is to be sacrificed , and short round tries to wake up Jones. Jones however was never brainwashed in the first place and the fight is on. Willie thinks Jones plans is the pits and is about to get burned by it.

After several rounds of poke me with a stick Jones goes for Molaram who slides out a trap door. The maharaja's minister emerges to finish the ritual but is crushed when Jones spoils his attempt. Willie slaps Jones to be certain and the group flees. This time they release all the child slaves and escape via mine cart. The cult members follow and Jones goes right not left sending them deeper into the mine itself. Gun fire , fists fly and things get of track as they get deeper down. After disposing of the pursuing cult members Jones puts his foot down and the ride ends. Molaram tries to drown out Jones fire but his plan goes awash.

After escaping the mine the group heads for the bridge back to the palace. Short Round and Willie head across , behind them Jones encounters two swordsman. Dailing .357.. Uh oh. No gun. No matter . Jones makes easy work of the team whipping one down and scaring the other off. Jones screaming charge is cut short by the hundred reinforcements charging back. If it's not stormtroopers, it cultists. Jones reaches the bridge just in time to see the rest of the group captured by Molaram on the other side. As he is closed in on the bridge he does the only sane thing. Cutting the bridge. It flies apart delivering door dash to the gators below. After a breathtaking cliff side fight Molaram attempts to reclaim the stones , Jones drops him off and the gators show him some teeth. The stones and the children are returned safe and Spielberg and Capshaw live happily ever after.

Original. But Christmas leftovers are still not as good as the first night.

Somewhere in a far away rugged land ( A Hawai'in sugar and pineapple plantation) in 1936 , we are greeted by one " Indiana" Jones. We watch as Jones and his local guides donkey through the jungle discovering stone totems , quibbling about the locals , and practicing the finer art of running for one's life. After , dismissing a rouge employee Jones decides crawling into a cave no comes back from might just be fun. Oh , one might pause at the sight of several dozen eight legged freaks , but Jones? Nah.

As the pair presses on the discover his competitor who has a significant amount of points to share. Failing to see the light Jones presses on. After a side game of pitfall , Jones come to a room with a shrunken head golden idol. After an advanced game of hopscotch and discovering proof that staring at something is not math , the race is on.

Jones remains employee tries to steal the idol but forgot the competitions previous points. Jones realizes this cave does not rock. At all. He bails out the front door and is Met by the local tourism board. They too have an axe to grind and the idol is just the tip of the spear. After losing the idol Jones hops a plane and slithers home. He hates snakes too.

Home sweet home. We discover our bullwhip wielding , stapleheaded hero is in fact professor " Indiana " Jones. The students? They love him. He is the apple of their eye.

The same is true , professionally , with Marcus Brody , museum head and Jones fan. While it seems as though Jones and Brody are getting ready for Miller time , Brody is not there to discuss Belloch . The American Intelligence services , have decided that spying , double talk and backstabbing are not actually elements of a quality education. They decide Jones is their kind of professor. After discussing subjects ranging from academic nostalgia to the arc of the covenant , The intelligence agent decide to send Jones to find the arc of the covenant himself. Jones has gun and will travel. After catching the red line to Nepal he decides to chill at the local watering hole of Marian Ravenwood.

Sadly , the shadow of their past together is enough to make any woman drink. After rehashing old tales and bitter regrets, Jones drops the story on why he's arrived.

Abner is dead but Marion may know where the pieces Jones is looking for is located. Jones offers her a location switch which he suspect may give her a sunnier disposition.

Toying will him she sends Jones packing. For the night. After his departure the other guys arrive. The ones your father and the allied powers of WW2 warned you about.

Marion is coy , pretending to play broker , but heir Mac is having none of it. After getting burned by all parties she will not be left in the cold. She tags along as Jones chases for the arc.

After catching another red line to Egypt , Jones stops at the Cairo home of his good friend Salah. Clearly the Nazis are not monkeying around. The are close to finding the arcs resting place. Salah knows a man that can translate text and help Jones get the arc faster. While eating dates and reminiscing on the good old days , Marion is kidnapped and Jones demonstrates why the revolver is mightier than the sword. Marion ever the basket case is hauled off by the bad guys. Jones gets hung up in the crowd but finally catches up In enough time to see Marion's ride go out with a bang. Commiserating her death , Belloch sends the goon squad to collect him. Belloch , and has no qualms about rubbing salt in the wound. The conversation turns to the arc and the meaning of such. Jones has no issue with facilitation of a meeting with God , however , the children are sent to save him.

Salah has arranged his meeting , and two things are clear , the Nazis are digging in the wrong place and monkeys are favorable to bad dates. The next morning Jones and Salah stop by the map room. Built prior to the birth of encyclopedia Britannica or Rand Mc Nally , Jones must decipher which squiggly line matches which hole , he does and the staff lights the way. Salah meantime is invited back to the Nazi camp for lunch and interrogation. After rousting the troops , Jones discovers , quite by accident Marion is still alive.

Surveying the situation Jones leaves Marion to divert Belloch as he breaks ground to locate the arc. Mean while , Belloch and Marion are receiving lectures from Heir Mac , apparently hung up on Americans penchant for overdressing at the wrong time. Day turns to night and a storm rolls in , the diggers crack open the arc's tomb. It's a giant snake pit. No Slash.

Salah volunteers Jones to go first and Belloch agrees. Jones doesn't even get the chance to mention that the arc was watched over by the Gods , C-3PO and R2D2.

A well dressed Marion and Jones navigate a tomb that contains all kinds of things that slither , bug Marion , and they engage in the usual skullduggery eventually scrapping their way out of the mess brick by brick. After handing out several knuckle sandwiches and learning first hand why a close shave is not desirable , Jones hitches a ride with the arc and diverts the cargo and his crew for a scenic River cruise. What was headed for a romantic cruise is stopped cold by a U-boat. After a rude inspection Marion is lifted along with the precious cargo. Jones jumps ship and stows away on the red line to a middle of nowhere Island. After docking and a quick discussion of hygienic and tailoring standards , Jones becomes a quick study on ambush tactics. Belloch isn't buying it. Offering the arc for sacrifice calls Jones bluff.

The matter is settled on ceremony. As cameras roll and rituals require the arc is opened to reveal what at first is the sand derived from the previous Ten Commandments.

Then Gods speaks. Jones and Marion turn a blind eye to the Nazis ignorance and they are wiped out by the ensuing wrath of God. Once home , Jones and Brody are well paid but frustrated by the situation with the arc. It now seems the arc has fallen in to even worse hands. The bureaucrats of the United States Government. Who will afford it Great study by top men. As soon as the budget is available. Which is why it will sit in a wooden create only to be seen again in the Cold War.

Original but empty as your dinner plate on Christmas.

The journey of over a decade now comes to a close in front of the barn at Clint Barton's farm. Hawkeye is teaching his daughter to shoot. Far far away in Wakanda Thanos snaps his fingers and Hawkeye turns around to burnt hotdogs and a pile of ash he once called his family. Across the known universe , Ironman and nebula repair their ship while learning paper football. After his final meal Stark records a final message for Pepper and retires to bed. He is awoken by a Kree nightlight. Captain Marvel.

After delivery by the Captain , he heads inside for some wound licking. The other Captain freshly shaved , along with the remaining avengers drop the bomb that thanos got what he wanted and ridded the universe of half its problems overnight. Many heartfelt it's your fault and I told you so moments ensue. With Tony out for the count the real Queen has decided to finish the job and eliminate Thanos. Nebula steps in and provides , with help from rockets 3D story globe , his whereabouts. The avengers take off to space. Rocket reminds all first time space travelers no barf bags are provided. Arriving at Thanos new pad , The marvelous one pull a quick recon flight. So the avengers decide to drop by for dinner. After disarming Thanos the questions fly fast and furious. Much to their dismay Thanos has destroyed the infinity stones via using the stones to do such. Thor goes for the head this time , satisfying his last axe to grind.

FIVE YEARS LATER...

New York looks like a ghost city. Somewhere amongst it all in a church meeting hall , sits Counselor America, deep in a group therapy session filled with people like himself trying to move on with 50% of their lives. Elsewhere in a San Francisco storage locker , Scott Lang's Quantum situation is ratted on , right in front of the on duty security guard. Hauling his limited stash away from the perplexed officer , Lang soon finds his own conundrum in the world around him with most people not being forthcoming. Arriving in a local park , he discovers the monument to the disappearance of all.

Then he discovers the most important fact of all. He is missing. Running to his former house a brief family reunion ensues. Back at HQ Black Widow is dealing with her most lethal Opponent to date. PB&J. As this classic combatant on wonder bread is known. After discussions on toxic garbage scows and underwater earthquakes result in adjournment , Natasha is left with Rhodie and the ugly reports of Barton. After a moment to express her grapefullness , the Captain offers his optimistic opinion on whales in the Hudson , coming that close to one half of a sandwich in the face. While waiting for his underoos to dry , the Captain attempts to quietly sooth the Widow. Of course, all the noise Scott Lang is making at the front gate makes it hard.

Once inside , Lang begins to assemble the facts outloud as Rogers and Romanoff wait for the blue loop clear , talking in circles Lang finds a way to not say hey I figured out how time travel works. Then it dawns on the rest of the room , Lang knows how time travel works. It also helps to feed him regularly. The trio arrive at the lakeside villa of Tony Stark headed in for lunch. Tony enjoys drinks , the reunion of his comrades and completely deconstructing the laughable time travel theory Lang offers , hoping above all hopes it is in fact not from Doc Brown's Laboratory. At the end possible or not Tony is a firm no. So they turn to the worlds next biggest brain , the Banner/Hulk. Who appears to like a hundred diner plates , every morning. The team discovers Banner/Hulk has reservations about this time travel business , and Lang discovers that in the world of fan selfies his significance is ant like. That evening after dinner , Stark unearths a picture of himself and the former Spider-Man on a day long ago. His emotions lead him to half heartedly examine the possibility of Lang's idea. With no DeLelorian involved. He has no time to deal with the lightning strike moment of it being properly calculated and confirm because he has to deal with his daughters language issues. The solution is determined to be extortion, for 99.987% of a juice pop. After such and a non read bedtime story Tony faces the challenge of telling Pepper he succeeded in creating time travel. Pepper knows stopping the event is impossible but Stark knows he could lose it all.

The Banner/Hulk , Rogers and Black widow are about to attempt time travel. Well actually Ant-Man is about to attempt time travel , while the rest assist the Banner/Hulk.

After which Rogers grabs a breath of fresh air wondering if age really is just temporaly relative. No sooner does one problem appear , than does an Audi with one too.

Stark is ready to help and knows Lang turned into a baby. He lays down the law on everyone being returned to the present no five year do over , and symbolically offers to reset shield by way of Captain's shield. So the " Team " is assembled. Nebula , Rhodie and Rocket arrive just in time for taco Tuesday. Banner/Hulk hooks up Ant- Man and is off to new Asguard aka Norway. Upon arrival a familiar ally informs them that Thor is unavailable. Mostly drinking and complaining about losing Cinemax again , he passes the days by boozing , and terrorizing 10yo Noobmaster69 in Salty springs. Along for the ride are meek and Korg. Things turn sour for a moment when Banner/Hulk brings up the new plans to kill Thanos. After using logic to recruit Thor and failing , Rocket offers free beer.

It was a dark and stormy night in Tokyo where Clint Barton was engaged in Blackpink DDR and the art of making human sushi. His enemies prove not so limber at preventing the final showdown with their Yakuza boss. Who, while deadly in the art of the valid point , falls short in sword mastery. Then a fierce attack from behind as Black Widow threatens him with his most feared item. Hope. Back at HQ , Thor continues his beerfest , as Rocket teaches Stark his actual name. In another room , Banner/Hulk corrects the rest of the team about the completely false Hollywood narrative about time travel and the multiverse. All while having to be constantly reminded about how important Pym particles are.

Barton's successful return to Green Acres begs a question. Where to , or maybe when to? After many versions of ABC's afterschool special on the infinity stones , the new avengers decide where there temporal and real world hiatus should be.

Team 1 heads to New York City , where they once again deal with the army of Loki and everything that entailed. Banner/Hulk , Ant-Man and Captain America head off to with Tony to his own house to capture the some stones. Meanwhile , Banner/Hulk must smash his way to Bleecker St. Even if he thinks it gratuitous. Upon his arrival he discovers Dr. Strange has not checked in yet and the current manager is not very helpful. Banner/Hulk's demand for the Time Stone triggers the need for extensive existential debate.

Back on Asgard Thor and a raccoon offer us one last chance to see Natalie Portman. Thor however wants his mommy. This leaves Rocket to paw Jane up for the stone.

Nebula and Rhodie are pulling up to Morag for a quick drop and go. They wave good bye to Black Widow and Hawkeye who are off to Vormir. After skipping stones and chatting about the weather and waiting for intergalactic grub hub , Peter Quill shows up for his stone and they remember the moron they are dealing with. On Vormir , Hawkeye and Black Widow arrive on a mountain top to meet an all too familiar foe.

Tony and Crew successfully manage to defeat Loki while , almost in concert the newer crew and Tony Successfully pull of a heist of the scepter. Hulk once again has to take the stairs. Sadly , Tony's plan short circuits and Loki escapes with the tessaract. Captain America battles himself over the scepter. All does not end well . A short ways over on Bleecker Street the debate rages on about time , the nature of the universe and what Banner can do if he suddenly has to go to the little Hulks room. Everything magically unlocks however when it's asked why Strange gave the stone to Thanos in the first place. Stone in hand , the rest of the gang determines they must jump to another place to get the tesseract.

Rocket pilfers the stone from Natalie Portman and catches up to Thor having quality time with Mom. Thor does not want to leave his dead Mom but she sends him on the way.

No,no,no, wait! An excited Thor is reunited with and can once again spend all eternity playing with his hammer. Back on the Ring of Thanos , Thanos laments the idiocy of one of his minions Ronan. Everything is fine until Nebulas temporal tattle tell device gives away her future selfs deeds. Thanos can also do math. He knows he succeeded and that he is listening to the plans of its undoing. Let the scheming begin. On Vormir , Black widow and Hawkeye play a deadly game of chicken securing the soul stone. Tony and the Captain Arrive in 1970s SHEILD land , there Tony has a reunion with Dad and Rogers gets a look at his life's love. On Morag Nebula is captured and replaced with her younger self.

It works and all return with the stones. All except Natasha.

After reassembling the coolest power glove in history , Banner/Hulk gives it his best snap. Total success is realized when Barton's wife calls. Evil young nebula also opened a portal for Thanos ship who lays waste to the teams base. After surviving Thanos delivers his final sermon as decision , now he will kill all life , allowing an ignorant universe to seed new life. That is the final straw. The Avengers begin an all out assault on Thanos with support pouring out of every open portifice. At the end Tony has his one chance. With his sacrifice Thanos and his armies turn to dust. A long line of goodbyes is said. A service is held lakeside and Morgan Stark receives her fathers last message , and cheeseburgers. Barton is reunited with his family.

More sap than a maple tree.

As if unleashing Surtur and watching him destroy Assplace , Assburg ..where ever was not bad enough a loss , whilst cruising on the Grandmasters "SUV" on their way to earth what was left of those who survived Hela , now get a visit from Thanos. After a rousing sermon it is discovered he wants the tesseract , and within it the infinity stone. Thor attempts to foil the plot but is bound to fail. Loki , in a final act of Heroism for his people attempts to kill Thanos but misses. A point Thanos drives home. Meanwhile , Hiemdall Decides this matter needs to be taken to lower authority and sends Hulk on a door dash for the Avengers. After which , Thanos reasserts his point. Back in New York City , Strange and Wong are engaged in a debate over the importance of meat , and the problems of the lack of money it requires. After Wong decides on a tuna melt , Banner crashes the party.

Thanos is coming. Wong and Strange ask the most important question of all. Who?

In Central Park , in his own world Tony Stark continues his life long project. Chasing Pepper Potts. It seems to go well with the marriage and kids chat and the kissing and flirting , But then something strange happens. Dr. Strange to be exact. Appearing in Central Park with Banner in tow. After a reminder from Pepper to be home before 10 pm , Tony returns to Bleecker street for the Wong's Notes version of the history of the infinity stones. After which Banner fills in the scary parts about Thanos being an insane being that travels the Galaxy killing half the people on any planet he pit stops at. Discussions on strategies are fruitless as arguing is reduced to the proper use of garbage disposals and ballon animals.

Banner in a good attempt to refocus the group attempts to call on Tony to re assemble the Avengers. Sadly his two year absence was showing. Tony breaks down the politics of the breakup. It takes a significant moment , but Stark sucks his ego up and grabs the phone the Captain left behind. Yet , oddly enough there is something wrong in the air , and it is not Strange's weave. The people outside engaged in vigorous running for their lives does not bode well.

On Bus on a bridge the problem seems clear , well at least to Peter Parker. The Ring has arrived. Sadly , this is not Master Chief. With distraction employed he slings off to the city to investigate. Stark with Banner and the Wizards of the East Coast in tow receives an all to familiar sermon. After politely refusing service and referring the Alien warmongers to the laws regarding proper business hours , the Aliens disregard and begin an assault. Stark calls for the big green one. Then comes the awkward moment where Banner explains that himself and the Hulk have done a little version of the avengers in his absence. Embarrassment aside Tony reaches in the bag for the Iron. Round one goes the right way and Tony shows off his new suit. The baddies are persistent and a prolonged fight looms. As Banner won't turn green Strange sends him to the Green of a nearby park. The baddies fight spills over to the city and again Banner still non hulked is in the thick again. Right on cue our friendly neighborhood Spider man arrives to ask whas up? The short end of it is he must now chase down a wizard with a necklace. Which of course leads to boarding Master Chei..uh...Thanos ship. After dropping off Parker , and informing Pepper dinner may be postponed Stark takes a look at his opponents joint. Parker a teenager of course ignores the adults and re enters the ship right before it jumps. Wong returns to the sanctum.

All Banner can think about is the amazing length Stark went to in order to not call the Captain. See he does it himself.

Space. Also flying through it , the Guardians of the Galaxy. After receiving a distress call they jump right into the middle of wreckage and dead bodies. And as such they catch a Thor sized bug splat on their windshield. It is even dramatic enough to get grout to look up from his game. After examining their new guest and determining that one more meatball sub will turn Quill as round as such , Mantis awakens Thor. Who asks the only relevant question. Who the hell are these people? Thor accepts the free food and listens as Gammora rehashes Wong's points on the infinity stones , her fathers desire to kill half of all life and so forth. Thor bonds with Gammora when he realizes her family sucks as bad as his did. All this over Quills insecurities. After the issue of Quill's voice and the crews food is settled , it is determined Thanos is bound for knowhere to fetch another stone.

Left undetermined? Whether or not Kevin Bacon is a member of the Avengers. Ultimately, it is decided , Thor , his new rabbit friend and the itree will go fetch him a new weapon.

Quill and the remaining morons will go to knowhere.

In a cold Scottish night Wanda and Vision stay warm in a pleasant hotel suite. On a venture out for local Haggis , the news reveals disturbing events that make Visions recent complaints about his infinity stone seem more than passing events. Little time is give for deciding the next move as Thanos warriors attack with the upper hand. Their plans are derailed when the Captain and company intervene on the subway. They are scolded on not checking in and the jet heads back to HQ.

Gammora is well aware that in Thanos hands she is a weapon against Quill and the mission. She asks Quill if she is captured to kill her. Which he does not want to agree too but does. They arrive in knowhere and head straight to the collector. Sadly , the master plan falls to pieces and Thanos has already captured the infinity stone. Quill unable to kill Gammora watch as Thanos abducts her.

Back at Avengers HQ , the renegades arrive to a not so friendly government welcome. Rhodie slides that conversation to the left and moves deftly to the awkward reunion of Banner and Black Widow. The room shifts to a yet more important conversation the theory put forth by Vision on how to destroy his infinity stone. Wanda is having none of it. Being the only one who can , this is problematic. The solution ? Wakanda . Where the stone may be able to be removed without killing Vision. Back in said place The King prepares for battle and invites the one armed bandit to join the fight.

Back in the ring of power Stark is still working on the liberation of all things Strange. Quite the Caper he finds Strange and retrieves a missing garment. Then the best news. Parker is back and in need of serious parenting. None of which is going to occur in a spaceship. The good news? The kid has seen old movies and now he wants to talk about Aliens. Ironman shows down the baddie torturing Strange for his infinity stone and blow a hole in his ship sending him a lethal chill message while spider reels Strange in.

It's agreed Thanos will be fought away from earth. Strange must protect the stone even in the face of Stark and Parker's death. Parker is now an Avenger fully Offical.

On Thanos chariot , father and Daughter are engaged in a long conversation about life and it's choices. As an example Thanos offers Gammora the chance to save Nebula from death. The price. The name of the world that keeps an infinity stone. Vormir. Upon their arrival Thanos and Gammora are greeted by a familiar face from many movies ago.

The stone is not free , it has a high price. You must kill that which you love. Thanos throws Gammora under the bus , and claims the stone.

Thor and Rocket have arrived at the legendary forge of Nidavellir , only to find it shut down and out of stock. The forgemaster it seems was tricked into making a gauntlet for Thanos to contain his stones. After which Thanos killed everyone and maimed him. Thor will not be daunted in his task , he single handed ly reignites the legendary forge and the master makes him an axe head. With no handle. Groot sighs and for a switch sets his hand held game down , tendering the needed handle him self.

Strange , Stark and Parker land on titan. Thanks to a message from nebula the other morons from knowhere are there to greet them. After awhile they realize they are on the same team. All agree when it comes to Thanos they should Kick Names and Take Ass. Strange in the mean time in engaged in a deep bromance with his infinity stone and has discovered only one way to win. Everyone agrees it is the plan.

Vision has arrived in a still Starbucks free Wakanda. Banner bows before the king for Rhodes personal enjoyment. The super genius in the Kings lair teams with Banner to remove the stone but will need time. Right on cue the bad guys arrive. When the super bomb fails to destroy the shield dome , they land a kennel of rabid space dogs. The Black Panther however is no pussy. He and his army open several pallets of kick arse all over the mobile zoo. Just as the fight seems hopeless and all are being over run arrives Thor with his new axe ready to put the spark back in the teams fight.

Thanos has arrived on Titan on the other side of the Galaxy. Strange and Thanos reminisce about Titan past while our heroes set up the trap. From falling moons to millions of things strange the team attempts everything under Titans sun to extract the gauntlet. In the end it proves futile and Strange surrenders his stone to Thanos. Back in Wakanda the situation with Vision grows worse and Thanos little brats are closing in. Sensing this Vision leaves the operation and heads to the nearby woods. Having beaten the team on Titan , Thanos returns to earth to retrieve the final stone. Try as they will the Avengers do not go for the head. Thanos manipulates time and retrieves the final stone from Vision. With a full set of stone he snaps his fingers and achieves his goal. Those that live watch as half of all before them turn to dust.

They fight , they fight , they fight , they fight , they fight , the itchy and scra....er Avengers: Infinity War....

Of the finales this half should have been killed.

Thor is locked at the local drunk tank of the warlord Surtur. After Surtur drops the 411 on our Prince , he is uncrowned and Thor returns to Asguard to deposit it for safe keeping.

Something is amiss. As chaos reigns throughout the nine realms Odin rests at the shrine of his departed adopted son Loki. Thor watches as his father is absorbed by what appears to be a bad Matt Damon movie , and all in his bathrobe eating grapes. No fool Thor sees right through Loki's magic and throws the hammer down on his spell. After revealing his brother's treachery Loki reveals his father has gone to earth. After a stop at a demolition sight , Loki is swallowed whole by a strange circle. The answer lies not far. 177a Bleecker street. There he is confronted by a wizard with an agenda and excellent taste in beer. It is decided that Thor and Loki should get Odin and return to Asguard promptly. After grooming techniques are discussed at length , the brothers are whisked away to Norway.

There Odin awaits , hearing the calls of his loved ones , he informs Thor of the coming of Ragnarok. Thor discovers he is not the first born. His father had a daughter , Hela the goddess of death. Imprisoned by Odin his entire life , she will be unleashed upon his death. Which then happens. Thor and Loki greet their estranged sister , the first born and things do not go well. Reading the writing on the wall Thor attempts to put the hammer down but that plan is shot to pieces. Instinctively , Loki recalls them by bifrost but unwittingly drags Hela along. A fight ensues en route and both Loki then Thor are ejected into random space. Hela , arrives on the one realm no one wants her. After dispatching a few of the warriors three , she recruits Scurge as her lackey.

Meanwhile , Thor has just be plopped out of the Devils fiery crack in space. With not much time to adjust he is netted for food and then taken for the planets gaming needs.

Hela , back on Asguard introduces herself to no celebratory welcome. After , the army lays down gauntlet , and Hela shoots it full of holes. Scurge receives a lesson in revisionist history by Hela revealing the imperial nature of the world he knows. Then she proceeds to show off her army of the dead and beloved puppy. Hiemdal in the meanwhile relieves them of the bi frost sword.

Back on Sakar , Thor is introduced to the Grandmaster , who proceeds to toast his cousin. After leaving the smell of burnt toast behind , the Grandmaster explains Thor's predicament , discovers a less than brotherly lover between himself and Loki , and spends time discussing Thor obsession with Assberg , Assplace whatever. Thor sets off to win the championship and with it his freedom. He meets a sidekick that rocks and cuts to the chase with Loki. Later over discussions of women warrior and the special way to play with one's sacred hammer , we discover that all hair can be cut. Then followed by a splash of hulk and a shockingly close shave in combat.

As Hela continues her pursuit of the people and the sword of the bifrost , Heimdal hides the people no advises the Prince to seek a way out of Sakar by driving the biggest possible object possible through the devils anus. First , they must find an object powerful enough to penetrate the hole in the universe. Loki knows where , and of course attempts the double cross. This time Thor hits back with shocking retorts laying his ego out flat. Then it's off to the races as they attempt to set an new record in rectal repulsion.

Upon the other side they discover the party has been moved to the woods , so they stop by the palace for some quick upgrades.

After discovering the people gone again Hela returns to the throne room to throw down in the greatest galactic sibling rivalry of the nine realms. Whilst the hulk attempts to lay the smack down on her pet , Heimdal and Loki attempt to send Hela's troops to the after life. With a little help from Scurge and the last of the Valkyrie the people are able to jump ship. Sadly , Hela feels that the cross eye her brother gave her was shockingly to personal and decides to stop all departures. Scurge dies in a final attempt to redeem himself for the history books , and Thor and Valkyrie keep Hela occupied while Loki get Surtur fired up for his big moment. In spite of Hulks attempt to smash , all flee and watch as asguard is completely destroyed , Hela with it.

The King of Asguard decides all will be safe on Earth.

Honestly , it's the stuff in the 80s we should have left in the vault.

In this episode of characters that need introduction we are greeted by New York physician Steven Strange. No not much is strange with him. One of the states crack surgeons, things are actually quite well , as he serves to save lives everyday. After , saving yet another and winning at his pop music trivia game , he is off for a social evening in his fancy car.

One wrong turn , and he is unhanded in a spectacular hilltop dive leaving his career all wet. Not one to be daunted by circumstance he begins to task of healing Thyself. Easier said than done. After , an argument with his physical trainer , he determines that he should seek out a man , once paralyzed who walks again. The answer appears to be opening one's mind , and a quick visit to the monks of Karmataj.

Upon arrival , he is less than impressed and not shy at all about showing it , leading to reservation on the monks exclusive doorstep. After many an hour he is readmitted and shown to his room. There he takes advantage of the shower , bed and Wi-Fi password. The following week consist of lessons on physical fitness , how not to freeze to death on Mt. Everest and not stealing from the library. After managing to ignore the rules on forbidden texts Strange crosses the line by attempting to play with time. The librarian and the PE teacher are very upset. Nonetheless it is explained to Strange that time is held together by the ancient one and three sanctums located conveniently in NYC , London and Hong Kong. Sadly , he is offered little time for reflection on such ideas when sucked into the NYC sanctum against his own will.

He arrives just in time for a front row seat of the execution of the master of the sanctum by the evil sorcerer Kaicilius. After introductions all around a good fight is had by all leaving Kaicilius aides in an extra terrestrial dilemma and Kaicilius himself chained up in the caper. After receiving the evil guys stump speech , Strange is wounded by a returned aide and hits the ER for some nostalgia and lessons in improper broom handle storage. Upon his return the ancient one appoints him the guardian of NYC , for which he is not ready for and even he knows it. There would be more of a debate except this time the ancient one is hurt and back at the hospital Strange asks his former co workers to save the day. Whilst dying the supreme sorcerer confesses to feeding on the energy of the dark dimension to defend earth from the evil dormoru. She charges Strange to stop Kaicilius and bring down Dormoru , then passes away.

Upon the revelation that the sorcerer supreme was elongating her existence by drawing from dromoru's dimension, the gym teacher suffers a crisis. Holding it together Strange requests his aide in protecting Hong Kong the final sanctum. Along with Wong , Strange and Mordo confront Kaicilius and fail at preventing the destruction of the last sanctum.

Strange figures out the repetitive nature of dark dimension and sends dromoru for a loop. Mordo quits after clearly having lost faith.

A poorly conjured vision.

I realize I may be risking several of my nine lives with this review , let the fur fly.

A long time ago in a far away alien land ( Oakland , CA ) the king of Wakanda stops in to visit his brother's crib. What starts a a family meet up devolves into political talk and the King killing his brother over stolen vibrainum. The King and his servant depart leaving his brothers son to fend for himself. Fast forward to the modern day , and the Black Panther is liberating a large group of trafficked humans from a neighboring nation. After this he convinces his life's love to return for the day of his coronation. They gather at scenic waterfall as the prince receives his blessing from the five tribes. However , there is trouble in paradise. One tribe will not have it. Let the cat fight begin. After Hissing and screeching with much clawing and tail pulling occurs , the complaining Party yields and licks his wounds whilst the Prince is crowned King.

Back at home the new King is given a Royal drink and nap in the sandbox. This brings forth visions of his father , a reunion is had by father and son. In another land far away a man is giving museum staff difficulty over a hammer. Seems he wants to authenticate it himself. After poisoning the expert , a crack paramedic team assists with curing the man of his security issues. Back in Wakanda the new King has accepted the job of locating and bringing the notorious Claw to justice. It's off to South Korea for dinner and drinks.

At the casino The Prince and his ladies determine Claw will make an exchange with token white boy Agent Ross. A long chase down many an alley commences and the good guys nab the Claw. During interrogation Claw professes his love of vibranium and tells Ross he is being taken for a long ride. No sooner than Ross finishes his interrogation, than does a guy in a funky mask show up to free him , getting away with him , and also getting agent Ross shot. The Prince returns to Wakanda with Ross and orders him healed.

Meanwhile , our would be shooter enters the border of Wakanda with a gift for the guards. Claw's dead body. For this they bring him to the King. The King proclaims him persona non grata , but the guest identifies himself as the son of the brother the Kings father killed. He then challenges for the throne. After several rounds of verbal jabs and deep cuts , The Brother avenges his father killing his friend and throwing the Prince of the cliff to his death. T'challa's family flee the new King with Ross in tow to the mountains to hide.

The new King settling in to his new throne decides that Wakanda must assist the oppressed with its power and begins instructing the release of vibrainium infused weapons for use in revolutionary fighting. The Mountain tribe has a secret. T'Challa's body , not dead remains. With aid of the sacred flower he is reborn.

With the assistance of the tribes , his family and even Ross , T'Challa defeats his brother and is again proclaimed King.

Like a great panther perch upon high this movie opened its jaws , and coughed out a furball.

We begin this caper with home movies reviewed by none other than Peter Parker. Happy lugs our neighborhood web slinger off to Berlin to face Captain America. After many a cut scene and conversations on how much chatter a fight requires , Parker is sent back to his Burrough and the exciting world of high school. We settle in as Parker deals with problems minor and inconsequential all over NYC. Exactly where Stark wants him. His life begins to pass in a blur of debate practice , number 9 sandwiches and adventures in Lego Star Wars. Sadly , the teenage dream is about to become a real world nightmare.

Many years ago while Peter was at recess , a construction Forman faced a crisis. After the alien attack on New York , he bet heavily on being the cities go to clean up guy. Like anything as controversial as cleaning up alien tech , larger more powerful entities moved in and took control , leaving our overextended Forman out in the cold. Not for long.

Originally, sticking up for his employees, our Forman right hooks the interlopers and begins developing cool stuff from stolen alien tech. It pays well but supply is limited and the need to steal causes the illegality to increase.

By the time business joins Peter in high school our foreman is working hard in his own brand new Goblin suit. Parker is plodding along when he sees the Avengers attempting to cash in on someone else's dime. Confused by this Spidey inquires as to withdrawal policies taking place. The faux ones are quick to beam out of the picture rendering his favorite sandwich bodega toast. Short dinner and his backpack or webslinger is off to DC to answer questions to just about anything but where a flying green thief is. First , a hacking session ensues , opening all the powers of his suit whilst insuring that once again he will miss his chance to get with the girl.

Back to work , his exploits lead him to a gas station in the middle of nowhere. When from nowhere a flying guy in a suit puts him in a box. Not good. He is dropped into a larger high security box and misses the interrogations , at the cost of his own , meanwhile it is clear that a deal is going to occur in NYC so our hero ferries along to sink it , sadly splitting the boat in two and drowning his chances with Stark. After the Uber home home he is freeze dried by aunt May who demands answers. Parker dejected sinks back to school life.

One good thing actually comes as he gets the date he wants for homecoming. Things are at least working out okay until the night of the dance.

The foreman is his dates father. It does not take long for the flying chauffeur to connect the dots and in an earnest moment offers Parker his daughter in exchange for simply minding his business. No can do. After "Forgetting" his phone and dropping his homecoming date Parker is back on the job. In a Flash he drives another car to his destination.

His man behind the cpu tries to warn Happy about the attempted hijacking but is slid to the left. Then he has to explain his exploits to his principal , in teenage terms.

Parker becomes attached to his dates father and chases him to the departing flight. Dad is not impressed and a long winded argument leaves his relationship beached. He departs leaving the old man tied up in a sticky situation.

Back in class , he excuses himself to take a leak. There is happy waiting to drive him upstate and not for a sandwich. Upon arriving at Avengers HQ , Stark meets and greets him with a better Spidey suit and a side slot on the Avengers crew. Parker at last figures out that he doesn't need to grow up before he actually does. All comes full circle , everything works out and the world gets its neighborhood Spider-Man back. Well after aunt May figures out what the....

It has it all , but the measure of a Spider-Man movie can not be good when the real reason you watch is Aunt May.

We catch up with our mighty Avengers in Lagos , hoping to smoke out Runlow and his former associates before they spread the wrong kind of bug to the whole world. After he trashes the entrance to the objective, the Avengers kick it into gear. Even with all the fast and furious fisticuffs our heroes can't stop the fictional world version of Covid from being caught for a smooth sale. Ditching their escape vehicle , the suspects flee into the crowded streets , with Falcon and Black Widow in pursuit. Not Runlow , Nope. He has some choice words for the Captain about the art of precise building demolition. As Natasha is busy refusing to thank Falcons billion dollar Tamagatchi , Runlow drops a bomb , Wanda decides to spoil his plan to have the Captain for a cookout and deflects the explosion right into the side of a building. Obviously, killing a few people.

Tony Stark is showing off his own personal holodeck on stage at MIT. After which he gives people all the money they want making them all happy and allowing him to scramble as fast as he can for the " Bathroom ". Outside his escape hatch stands an incensed mother , and she has no bones about being exactly where she wants to be. After stuffing Tony full of sour grapes about her dead kid from Sokovia , Tony hops a ride to Washington where he picks up the Secretary of State, who brings an amusing golf story to the team ,and hits for the pin with a lovely document called the Sokovia accords. Apparently , 117 nations reached boiling point with the people of Wakanda leading the charge. In a rare case causing even the universe itself to pause both Natasha and Tony agree , also in spite of Visions wisdom , what having the mind stone for a brain and all , The Captain is not buying it. In the heat of the argument he abruptly bails but not for the reasons of conversation. Peggy Carter dies. He leaves for the funeral in London.

Whilst in attendance his defiant position solidifies much to the dismay of Natasha. In Vienna , the United Nations moves forward with the ceremony of adopting the accords.

We meet the King of Wakanda and his son , obviously Black Panther. The King begins his speech and the ideology of the future is blown to pieces , leaving the King dead on the floor. Across town , the Captain becomes acquainted with Peggy Carter's niece , whom delivered her aunts eulogy. After the explosive events reveal Bucky is the prime suspect Natasha consoles the new king , while Carter warns the Captain that Bucky is going to be taken down under orders to shoot first. Meanwhile , in Bucharest the Real Bucky Barnes is finding it Plum hard to shop for food. It doesn't bother him a lot , however he is not used to paper vendors fleeing his very site. A quick glance at the headlines opens up the mystery. Later at his "palace" he finds his best friend waiting , memories , fights and explosions cover the conversation as a quick jump off a building lands Bucky into the waiting Claws of one pissed off black cat.

A chase all over the country ensues and eventually all involved are under arrest. On the other side of the world something much more dangerous is happening , vision is attempting to cook dinner. As for the " team" they are arriving at the headquarters of another intelligence agency somewhere in the world and are greeted by Everett Ross the most official coat check in the agency , he even issues them receipts. After the fun and games finish , Bucky is sent to evaluation , whilst the disarmed Captain and Falcon bump into Nat and Tony. Hey it could be jail. Tony brings his best penmanship to the table and tries to make peace with the Captain. The Captain is not having it. Over all the excitement of Wanda and the accords someone no one expected has slipped into the evaluation room. Suddenly in the dark Barnes finds himself activated. Again the Mission Report of Dec. 16 , 1991 is the topic. After a run down , the captain has Bucky in a Vice and squeezes him for intel. Bucky owns up to there being more Winter Soldiers asleep in a Russian frozen wasteland.

An interesting pyrotechnics display attracts Vision's attention and Barton drops in to lift Wanda from her multi billion dollar 200 something acre prison cell. With Bucky in tow Captain meets up with Carters niece who returns his Shield and Falcon's " Bird Costume " . He's elated for the help and it's not just lip service. Sans one super jet they have to get to Russia the old fashioned way , so they meet at the airport. In the parking lot they find one Ant-Man. He Bugs out at the sight of The Captain but quickly falls in line. In the middle of discussing their choices for in flight meals , the airport announces evacuation and closure why? Iron Man and co. Show up to ground them. A larger more interesting fight breaks out. Clint and Natasha just don't have the hearts for it. Bucky and Falcon are busy explaining to a teenager in underoos that fighting is done with less talking.

Black Panther meets Clint and does not care . Vision hovers above all . Except the 50 foot ant man. Spidey discovers he is not the first hero from the five Burroughs. After a collective sigh to catch their breath the Captain and Bucky catch a plane with a little aid from Natasha. With Iron man and War machine in pursuit , Vision takes a shot at Falcon who swoops away causing the shot to take out War Machine. In spite of both Falcon and Ironman gunning it Rhodes hits the ground too hard. Back at Avengers HQ Tony warns Nat to take off as she is now wanted.

On his way to the Raft , a giant floating Azkaban in the middle of nowhere ocean , Tony receives word that Bucky did not blow up the UN and that the looney shrink the Captain was raving on about is actually the bad guy. Helmut Zemo a former special ops fighter from ..you guessed it Sokovia. Zemo has nothing but vengeance on his mind. When his meeting with Ross does not go as planned Tony squeezes the info needed from Falcon , stiffs Ross and is off to the secret base that is home to the winter soldier. He misses the elevator but catches up to the two former adversaries in the hall. Everyone kisses , makes up and finds the silo room. There Zemo introduces himself and plays an instructional video on how to use a winter soldier to kill Howard Stark. And his wife. Tony is a little miffed. The battle of the century goes down with no one but Black Panther to see it.

Yet he would rather talk the good old days with Zemo. Zemo explains his whole family was cancelled by the Avengers and Ultron in their showdown. The Panther stops Zemos suicide attempt and he is given meals and bathroom breaks for life. Rhodie gets AI legs . A special package arrives for Tony Stank. Where the Captain offers his phone number for a meet up anytime it's needed.

Peter Parker meanwhile continues spinning his web of lies with aunt May. He then plays with his new toy.

There is no need for civility. It Stinks!

Some time around the birth of Taylor Swift , Hank Pym discovers that government or private people are just plain shady. After confronting Carter and Howard Stark about SHEILDs attempt to copy his revolutionary Pym particle. A brief exchange on ideology combined with a solid hook to his critics counter points and Pym leaves SHEILD behind.

Many years later, after a brief stint in San Quentin, Scott Lang is fired from his job at Baskin Robbins. He kills time by dropping in uninvited to his daughters birthday and refusing to hit the perfect mark. The mark. Hank Pym. Who while juggling promblems with his own daughter , has to worry about his protege creating super soldiers suits. Yellowjackets are Pym's worst fear come true. Enter Lang. After Unemployment rears it's ugly head he follows up on the lead and busts into the old rich marks house. After deftly handling all challenges before him he gets an explosive dud. Leaving with an old bikers suit. This of course is all by design as Pym watches the robbery closed circuit style. When the safe is exposed as a bust Lang and his crew bug off. Back at Pym's lab the protege is racing to solve the yellowjackets remaining issue , literally leading lambs to the slaughter.

Back at casa de Lang , Scott is beginning to realize he is in possession of something that is no bikers suit. After charging it up and fiddling with buttons blindly he is brought down to size. After riding the rapids of downsizing ,Lang gets his groove back and springs into form. The experience leaves him longing for the door so he promptly returns the suit falling right into the hands of the police. Pym , posing as Lang's lawyer briefs him on his escape plans. After an exercise in ant air tactics , Lang awakens to the sight of Hope.

Not that she was that bothersome , however , the ants crawling all over the place were. After dividing the eight legged sea , Lang has afternoon tea. Pym decides to put him to work before he tries to quit again, offering him a chance to defy his protege and end his life of stealing stuff. Then Pym orders him to steal stuff from his protege. First training.

After failing to kick the door in and getting tossed around the ring by Hope , Lang is treated to a barbecue. Well actually an introduction to his ant sized army. After his training , he is tasked to command the ants themselves. Like sugar into tea. The infighting threatens to tear the group apart and is really bugging Scott. He makes head way with Hope and dials in on ant telepathy. Pym finally reveals the truth about his wife , apparently attempting to defuse a rogue nuclear missile his wife took a quantum leap out of the world.

The break in. Lang must infiltrate the headquarters and sabotage the very hive of the Yellowjacket itself. First , however a needed piece of tech is locked away and rotting in a Stark hanger in upstate New York. Using his skills Lang must retrieve this item. After buzzing off a plane to the area , in flight intelligence reveals the hanger is no small target. Lang hits the roof running but is spotted by Falcon. After conversation fails Falcon is clipped in the smallest smack down episode in history. Scott arrives back home with the item. Very little time is given for celebration as Pym's protege invites himself and Hope to dinner. When he realizes what is happening he swats Lang and strikes a deal to sell the suit to the Government. After a psychotic break up and shoot out over a failed relationship that leaves Hank perforated , Lang jumps a chopper after the protege , after clearing the building which is going to blow. In the middle of it all Hank and Hope tank their way out of the bosses dungeon.

The ensuing round trip airfare includes a stop over at the now home of Lang's daughter where he and Yellowjacket throwdown. With a combo of size stuttering stunts Yellowjacket is upended at last and taken out by Thomas the tank engine for good. Lang himself is granted a sort of parole , his daughter begins her career in gymnastics, Hank discovers Lang moving in on family turf and decides it's time for Hope to fill her mothers...wings.

Wound up plot and sticky dialogue . Like the Hollywood version of flypaper. Apply Raid liberally.

The Avengers are out for a quick winter fight , whilst kicking baddies hindquarters , Ironman ponders Captain America's views on foul language. After jokes all around , as the attack worsens, the iron legion is called in to protect a public that could care less. After destroying the enemy base and discovering they are not the only mutants causing mayhem in The world , they fly back to base with Loki's Scepter which itself is trouble. Also , the Iron Legion returns cut down to size by its local critics. Whilst Barton is healing , Stark poses a Man Sized "If" to Banner. This triggers a Cold War debate about Shields and AI. However , every hard working billionaire , playboy , philanthropists have hosting responsibilities to their party guests. Sadly , Ultron arrives early and is clearly uninvited. The good news he may be the solution to world peace , the bad news he sounds to much like James Spader.

Ultron's absorption of Jarvis goes unnoticed as Rhodes bombs at comedy , Stark brags up his woman , Thor sends a pack of World War Two vets to the showers , the Captain discusses urban issues and Banner redefines the word awkward with Romanoff , all concluding with everyone proving they cannot properly handle Thor's hammer.

The fun and games end when Ultron now fully active crashes the party. In spite of his best sleepy hollow suit and witless rambling Ultron attempts to hand the Avengers their end.

This obviously does not happen and poof he's gone. With Loki's Scepter. Later in the replay lab , Thor nearly beheads Stark , but the Captain saves everything again even in the face of the prophecy Stark so eloquently illustrates for the viewing audience for later review in Avengers : Endgame. If they lose they will lose together , uh-huh.

Back in Sokovia the Maximoff's head to an abandoned church for some new age enlightenment. Returning to stryker's lab Ultron informs the Maximoffs he will be destroying the Avengers for which they are all in. So they go shopping , to a man who knows no fear , an arms dealer marked by Wakanda himself. Ultron Disarms the dealer and grabs hold of his vibranium for a tidy sum. The Avengers show up attempting to sour the deal and a discussion of values devolves into exchange after exchange. Wanda makes the whole situation a mind warp and sets the Hulk beserk. Stark stops the big green machine with help from space and a new technique in simultaneous land acquisition and demolition. Reeling from the arse kicking handed them they decide to soothe their wounds with a sleepover at Barton's house. With special guest Nick Fury. On the side Natasha and Banner get closer than ever And discuss his performance anxiety. Back in Korea Ultron is about to hatch his next evil plan but needs tech from Banner's lady doctor friend to pull it off. This creates yet another long expensive action sequence involving machines explosions and runaway trains and planes. Oh with one tiny exception the Maximoff's switch sides.

Thor gets a crash course in the infinity stones with Dr. Selvig and Stark introduces Banner to the reborn Jarvis. Together they have a new vision. Natasha in the meantime is back at Ultron's layer laying out 40 winks and waking to a nightmare. As Ultron describes his endgame , the Maximoff's join the Captain in stoping Stark and Banner from finishing the ultimate vision. After an explosive round of back and forth Thor arrives to put the hammer down , completing vision. After an intense self healing session , Vision and the Avengers take off to terminate Ultron. Upon arrival Ultron demonstrates his upgraded armor and lays out the drill. Evacuation of Sokovia proves difficult and success is up in the air. Ultron lays down his ultimatum he intends to drop the humans of earth like a rock. Most of the avengers assist in removing Ultron's army amidst , Barton's therapy sessions , hulk smashing and discussions of events in Budapest.battles and fights and clashes oh , my. Fury shows up with a flying carrier prototype and the general population hops on for a ride. Maximoff's Brother dies saving Barton and a kid from Ultron and Wanda takes the heart out of his efforts. The city now falling Stark and Thor tag team an electric death blow on the meteor , bringing its massive weight down to millions of more earth sized pieces.

Everyone wins and yet loses , and more people who clearly were not paying attention line up to put themselves in harms way as Avengers.

The Gravitas of this dud imploded on first impact.

Somewhere in the infinity of space a being of such monstrosity, one so hideous and dangerous no one will go near it is stealing batteries from a planet of self conceited , Uber gamer nerds. Obviously , only the Guardians of the Galaxy can save the day. After cutting off the free loading Lo jack monster , the guardians receive their prize : one pain in the @$$ sibling.

Their return home is quite uneventful , Quill and Gammora fighting , Drax watching and Nebula demanding a root that is not ripe yet. Then an entire fleet of drones launched by the conceited Uber nerds attacks , why? Because rocket borrowed a few AAAs. Even at that point Drax still can't pronounce them right. Defeating the nerd fleet and jumping out of the system out of control , they fly past an egg riding space fairer and crash on planet whoknowswhere.

Whilst arguing about wether or not calling a genetically enhanced raccoon a " trash panda " is a minor or really big burn, the egg pilot drops in over easy. Peter frys a circut when he claims to be his long lost father and offers him a ride to his home. Rocket doesn't by any of it and stays with Nebula to fix the ship.

Elsewhere , on a sub zero paradise , Yondu is facing the music about his outcast place with the ravagers. He receives information leading to Peter's location and is off to the Forrest moon of the next plot point. Rocket and Nebula , uncertain of who is coming , attempt and fail to ambush Yondu's crew. After which a mutiny is staged and Yondu loses his captain status.

Peter and the gang meanwhile are back on ego's planet learning about the greatness that is he. Between musings on pop culture and flashback about mom , Gammora has a bad feeling. That feeling is confirmed by ego's servant and Gammora who while out for a nice walk discovers her homicidal sister has arrived , fresh from the Tazerface era of ravagers culture. Back on board Yondu , Rocket and baby groot all conspire to get Yondu his captain bars back and the attempt is a smoking success.

They then jump around to ego's planet , just in time for Peter to realize he has a bone of contention with ego himself , about giving his mother cancer. With teamwork and help from Yondu the team successfully blows ego's mind. At the cost of Yondu himself. At the funeral the other ravagers , light up the night and when Peter blows his horn about the events regarding ego. Then he receives the final gift from his adoptive dad , a zune. He makes it a point to thank the new Captain.

Who hatched this featherbrained piece?

We are introduced to a boy , one Peter Quill of earth , who whilst trying to survive on awesome musical mix tapes cannot escape the fact he is trapped in the most heinous place in the galaxy . 1988. That is until the giant spaceship steals him away.

26 years later on a forgotten land heap called Morag , Peter is still dancing away to 80s tunes and stealing powerful stuff he knows little about. All is going well until some strange guys point guns and shoot at him and his ship. He fires up his rockets and makes a deft escape , the water spout leaves his finale all wet. He was reckless enough however to awaken his current fling..uh..umm..uh...Marit! Yeah , now that she is back again he takes off.

The universe has one rule. Women can not refrain from answering phones. On the other end is Peter's boss Yondu. He'd like the orb but the ravagers have a code.

Steal from everybody. Back on Xandar , Quill attempts to peddle the orb to the usual broker who wants nothing to do with it if Ronan is involved. You remember him he stopped by a while back on Captain Marvel's watch.

Afterwards a tree and raccoon screw with him as does a living weapon named Gammora. After several rounds of back and forth , the four hack their way to a shocking end.

The Nova Core promptly arrests them and sends them to prison.

Once there they meet Drax a literal muscle head who assists them in their daring escape. They decode to sell the trinket to some collector in nowhere. While waiting for their appointment , Peter fails to score with Gammora , all while Drax and Rocket go ten rounds. The fight is broken up when the collector calls for an audience. After explaining the certain death they were carrying around , his slave girl decides the moment has come to gain her freedom.

After narrowly escaping the explosion , Ronan arrives and after Gammora runs out of breath , Quill calls Yondu who will gladly pick him up for a Quick bite. After discussing the matter and deciding not to be killed by Rocket's Adron enforcer , the team cooks up a plan to defend the planet from Ronan's plan. The ravagers greet Ronan on Xandar and assisting the nova core in the planets defense prove at last they are @$$holes not 100% Dicks.

They blast a hole in Ronan's ship and slap his soldiers Silly .When the moment arises Gammora decides to expound upon her relationship with her sister Nebula. Once matters are settled the team fires the fatal shot at Ronan , but the infinity stone stops it. It cannot stops the ship that flys in destroying the bridge and crashing the Aster.

On the surface Ronan gloats over his final victory , but Quill challenges the madman to a dance off. During the distraction Rocket and Drax get a second shot off removing the stone from Ronan's staff. Working as a team they harness the stones power and incinerate Ronan once and for all in a cloud of purple rain. After which they are pardoned , there ship is returned like new (Yay) and they zip off to deal with a very annoying battery thief.

So amazing too believe this was actually made. Guess burning cash gets boring huh?

Steve is out on a run. On his left is a soon to be new sidekick that loves Marvin Gaye and sleeping in caves.

They chat up matters 20th and 21st century , when the world's deadliest Smithsonian enthusiast stops to ask for directions. The Captain checks his watch , mission time.

Later that evening the captain and black widow book a leisure cruise on a stolen SHEILD vessel. After discussion on matters tactical and tactile , the Captain anchors himself to the front of the ship. His shield strikes a chord with the heads of the terrorist front line and soon he finds others dropping in for the fight.

Runlow's team works on their hostage rescue game , while Romanov gives the rest of the terrorists a lesson in impact yoga. The Captain shatters the bridges momentum and the other bosses fancy kicking. Natasha in the meantime is discovered playing hacker. Driven by orders from Fury she steals the ship database allowing the bad guy to make an explosive retreat.

Back home , the Captain and Fury have heart warming exchanges about trust and and his grandfathers elevator work. In the middle of the underwater hangar bay , the conversation shifts to pro activity vs. Preventive defense measures and the ethics of such. No sooner is the Captain finished with Fury than does his boss Alexander Pierce his boss call for a chat.

The Captain a spry and witty man of almost century reads a lost to mistrust in Pierce and dodges his questions deftly.

It's a rock em sock robot smash all to his bike and out of the complex. He arrives at his complex to find Fury's home. Fury fills him in on some really bad news , they are getting into issues of resolution when an unknown attacked nearly kills Fury. Happily the Captains neighbor Is a Shield plant of Fury's design. He peruses the assassin but comes up empty handed.

Nick Fury dies. The Captain upset with Natasha squeezes the truth out of her about the mythical Winter Soldier. It is decided that a nostalgic trip will give some much needed answers. Which is discovered in the form of the improperly placed bunker. It turns out to be an abandoned Shield hub.

And stored in its antiquated computer is life force of former Hydra top dog Zolla.

After rubbing in how naive they both are Zolla issues a missile strike on his location and calls for Pierce's goons.

Back in town they pick up another goon of Pierce and are Reintroduced to the Winter Soldier. After destroying every thing in a four block radius they are captured and runlow Intends to kill them. On the ride over a familiar face from Fury's entourage cuts them lose and they give runlow the slip.

Nick Fury is alive. And living in an abandoned dam facility.

After discussion on matters take out and treason it is determined that Shield is comprised by its internal Hydra infection. It is agreed that the day is over and they are done. The team heads to the back door to gain entry.

Romanov under cover slips into the councils private meeting with Pierce. He explains that he will prevent most future violence by mass murdering those genetically identified as being pre disposed to it.

Natasha draws the meeting out with a certain point and the Captain announces that things are not what they seem And the crew divides its loyalties for the final showdown.

The hangar bay launches its ships and the Captain heads out to stop it , aided by a new Jogging Buddy/ Wingman.

Natasha falls on the taser , as runlow discovers gravity , Falcon catches a ride on Fury's helicopter and the Captain and Bucky go ten round of knockout for the title.

They meet at Fury's grave and agree to a hiatus , during which the Captain decides to go find Bucky.

Clearly a canned product. Imported from the B rate leftover rack.

Many years ago Tony Stark was speaking at a convention and ran into a good looking woman. On his way up to his room he runs into a fanboy who looks a lot like Guy Pierce. The Uber nerd is trying to get a word in edgewise between Tony's date and his security team. Tony sends him to the roof with sky high expectations.

Many years later Tony is working on his Ironman prototypes and suffering full blown PTSD. Meanwhile , Guy Pierce has returned to show off his big brain. Tony spends time.poking fun at his security chief as Pepper cuts short her meeting with a certain Guy.

Then like an order from grubhub comes the Mandarin. The terrorist scourge of the current era. It seems to be all the Presidents problem until Happy is nearly incinerated by someone. Tony's PTSD continues to worsen and jeopardizes his relationship with Pepper. Suddenly , a girl from an elevator shows up. As do three attack choppers that level his beach side property.

A series of events leaves Tony trapped in a middle of nowhere midwestern town where he discovers odd things about the death of a soldier and displays his knowledge of potato guns in a garage. Still bothered by the PTSD , he races off to figure out who the Mandarin is. The Mandarin executes another one of the presidents men.

Stark arrives at the Mandarin's Mansion to discover he's just an out of work actor named Ben Kingsley, er Trevor Slattery , sorry. Slattery fills Tony in on where the real bad Guy is. Mean while War Machine and Rhode have been Lo jacked and are hanging out at the bad Guy's base.

After getting caught Tony is reintroduced to his former hot date that assisted the crazy Guy in kidnapping pepper.

After killing his former fling , Scary Guy heads off to his base near the docks and conspires to promote the VP to full time President. One of the goons wearing War Machine kidnaps the president and s brings him back to base while Tony shows of his synchronized skydiving moves. Rhodes and Stark catch a ride to evil Guy's base.

There they wreak general havoc attempting to save pepper and the president. Achieving limited success in single combat Tony calls in the Iron Army for added punch.

Pepper meanwhile infected with the bad Guys unstable goo , is at the mercy of the final duel.

With the aid of a few explosive tricks , Tony defeats that Guy and saves Pepper , or at least whatever Pepper is now.

Cut rate and overblown. Just like Slattery's acting.

A long time ago on a backwater planet the backwater forgot , a war between the Father of Odin and a planet of dark elves was fought. After a long protracted battle the leader of thedark elves attempts to turn day to night. Using guts and superior fighting tactics the army of Asguard puts a stop to it and seals away the elves secret weapon an advanced form of strawberry jam.

Fast forward to Thor's incredibly irritated woman. After two years of no phone calls , texts or tweets , Jane is beginning to question their relationship. As she is working out her issues with her assistant and her new intern they drive out to the docks to check out a strange reading. They find some kids who show off the ability to flip large trucks and teleport objects across rooms.

Whilst her staff plays with and loses the car keys , Jane discovers a teleport zone and winds up in a strange room that looks much like the prototype of Tetris. Also she discovers a large pool of strawberry jam that decides to spread to her. After infection , she begins to display strange qualities. Then at long last the love of her life returns. The reunion was a slapping success.

Thor takes Jane to Asguard to try to see what Hiemdal is freaking out about , Odin is not amused and tells Thor to take his date home. The family drama subsides when Odin figures out what is going on. The Dark Elves , now awake again decide to attack Asguard to claim their goo back from Jane. Thor Jams them up as best he can but in the end the Elves kill his mom and get what they are after.

Thor releases Loki and they go after the Dark Elves on the former home world. The plan goes awry and the Elves escape with the jam in a jar and Loki dies. Thor and Jane hide in a cave and find her car keys. After returning to earth and convincing Selvig to put his pants on. They track down the arrival location of the Dark Elves.

Whilst running around planting sticks in the ground , Thor puts the hammer down smashing the plan to once again bring about eternal night. After which they all talk about how many years it will be before Thor returns again over Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Just too Sappy and squishy.

Loki is back. The Asguardian Prima donna has decided to claim the glowing Rubik's cube for himself. Nick Fury is wide eyed at the destruction of his favorite secret facility.

So he steps into action.

Black Widow is enjoying another relaxing evening of espionage when Agent Coulson calls for help. She jets off to Asia to pick up the worlds foremost expert on gamma radiation. After a bit of back and forth Black Widow gets the win. Nick Fury is being chewed out by the leadership.

After which he drops by the big Apple to recruit Capitan America , no sweat , he's no surprised by anything anymore , Fury bets 10 bucks he is wrong.

Agent Coulson calls Tony Stark but is given the Answering Machine. Hacking into his phone and his plays at Pepper , Coulson insists on an audience. Stark explains to Coulson that he is only available 12% of the month. Coulson and Pepper jet off and Ironman heads to Germany where Loki has begun a rumble with Capitan America. Loki has no problem with surrendering , which makes little sense.

During the flight home , they come across bad weather and Thor crashes the party. Thor and Loki are engaged in deep bromance when Ironman shows up to reclaim his bad guy. A brief round of Shakespeare in the park ensues with shocking results. The Captain steps in and Thor puts the hammer down. After a truce is reached they all return to Fury's ship where they discuss what's next and The Captain coughs up 10 bucks.

A lot of hemming and hawing begins and the group explores the dynamics of itself and the issues with shield and its trustworthiness. Ironman and Hulk clue captain in on the very suspicious goings on. Thor bemoans Loki. Black Widow interrogates Loki and gains the needed information. It all comes to a head when Stark's spy drive produces the information on Phase two. As the Captain points out not much different than Hydra. It all makes for wonderful distraction as the converted Agent Barton attacks.

The team splits up to defeat the whole attack on shield. Stark realizes it's not about Hulk at all , Loki is attempting to conquer earth. Luckily , he has decided make his throne at Stark tower. Stark drops by to pick a new suit up while taunting him. Selvig under the influence of Loki opens a portal from an alien world and the invasion begins. The team assembles and kicks alien rear end all over NYC. In the middle of the fight shield preemptively launches a nuclear missile at manhattan to curb the fight.

Ironman , gets the info , intercepts the missile and bee lines it into the alien world where he sends it straight to the mother ship. After the Big Bang he falls to earth and is woken by a loud alarm clock. Everyone survives and politics continues. The Avengers adjourn for Shwarma.

Hugantic , Ginormic waste of time , talent and money.

Something is wrong in the state of Asgard , and Thor is taking out the trash. After a swift defeat of his opposition he returns home to his father Odin in celebration. Odin however fears relations with the Frost Giants maybe cooling. Desiring to prove himself Thor launches a sneak attack on the Frost Giants homeworld. For his trouble he earns his fathers wrath. Odin believes his son must be taught manners and cast him to Midgard ( Earth ).

Jane Foster is in the middle of nowhere in New Mexico looking at pretty lights in the sky as part her of doctoral thesis.

After a bright flash blinds her , she hits the only innocent bystander in the Tri-county area. Being a proper person she attempts to pick Thor up to aid him but he is in no gaming mood. So her research assistant tazers him.

The next day in review of the previous disastrous evening , Foster and her team determine that Thor maybe an alien.

They return to the hospital to discover he has been redecorating his room and left for some take out. Fate steps in and she once again lays the smack down on him.

After his second recovery he assumes the clothes and name of Donald Blake a former squeeze of Foster's.

The gang all adjourns to the nearest diner for the entire menu to be eaten and several coffee mugs put down. A visitor complains about a hammer nearby no one can move and Thor springs into action.

Eric Selvig , Foster's mentor believes Thor , or at least he calls himself that may be a few batteries short for his laptop. They leave him to go find his way. Later that night Jane can't help but try to see what happens. Agent Coulson and Hawkeye along with several SHEILD agents have set up a camp around the Hammer. Thor walks in , uninvited and many people attempt to show him the door.

After several knock outs Thor attempts to play with his hammer. He is unworthy. During his interrogation his brother Loki arrives and drops the bombshell that Odin has died.

After his cunning release by Fosters crew , Thor grieves over boilermakers with Selvig. He can't hold his liquor and Thor spends the night discussing the Bi Frost and the many realms with Jane. The next morning at breakfast with the aid of Hiemdall , Lady Sif and the warriors three arrive for a quick chat and some Whoppers. After informing Thor his father is not dead they drop the bombshell that Loki is the bad guy.

Out in another nowhere a giant machine bot appears in front of the whole of SHIELD , while Coulson believes Stark isn't telling him something , the machine begins eliminating every SUV in sight. After a brisk stroll to town it starts cutting carbon emissions on Main Street one ride at a time. Thor evacuates the town , while his friends attempt to shut down the fighter bot. In a moment of desperation Thor offers his life for all of Midgard lest Loki destroy it.

Loki slaps back with a brutal counter offer and all seems lost , but the magic of Asguard brings the Hammer down on the bot , bringing the god of Thunder back to life.

Thor returns to Asguard after a quick goodbye with Jane confronting his brother , the result leaves the Bi-Frost destroyed and Loki missing.

Shockingly bad film that will leave you Hammered.

Meet Bruce Banner . A mild mannered individual living in exile in South America. He works at a soda pop factory hauling freight and fixing his bosses conveyer belt. He is physically fit and enjoys watching poorly translated 1970s American sitcoms with Bill Bixby. Also , like everyone else he has secrets.

Banner was once a military scientist but something went terribly wrong. In the process of experimenting with Gamma radiation an accident occurred mutating Banner and hospitalizing his woman and her father. Thus leading to his current life problem , his temper. Banner is working diligently on a cure for his issue , and an internet companion named Mr. Blue is the flower in his field. He continues his research and comes to a roadblock. He must retrieve his data from home.

Meanwhile the US military has tracked him down and has hired a mercenary to catch and contain him. Banner is deft at escaping him and the rundown fizzles to a halt at his place of work. Sadly , Banner is then cornered by the usual workplace problems and his anger bubbles over.

Cue the big green meanie. Our mercenary friend watches first hand as hulk rearranges the factory floor and uses equipment for athletic pursuits.

Back at home the mercenary confront the general , also Banners sweetheart's father , reveals the underlying story to the mercenary and offers him the chance to be like him. Through a series of injections and tests the mercenary is " improved" .

Banner has returned to Virginia to his old collegiate stomping ground. He attempts to quietly slip in but identifies a problem. After pizza and a good nights sleep he delivers a pie to security and cracks the computer lab slicing his way into the mainframe. Sadly however al the data is gone. As he is leaving the worst case scenario occurs. His former woman walks in for a pie. She pursues him and picks him up , he then spends the night.

The next day he walks her to work and to say goodbye but the army and police have other plans. Engaging Banner it doesn't take long for his alter ego to break out and crash the party. The mercenary primed for the fight chases the hulk down and eggs him on. Not smart. It's a one hit wonder. One hit and the general wonders out loud if the mercenary is in fact a moron. Then the Hulk squares of against a helicopter and it blows up in the army's face.

Banner his woman in tow , escapes to a nearby cave and yells all night at the rain. In the morning they decide hotel are more cozy than caves. Banner pukes up the data he swallows and showers while his woman buys him new purple stretch pants. Later it is discovered that Banner can get his green on just by getting it on.

They ride a cab to New York and stop by Mr. Green. Green is game to try to fix Banner and they gear up.

Once again the mercenary intervenes only this time he brings his a game and transformed into a green abomination. A brief alliance between Hulk and the military ensues , and they collectively bring down the monster.

Hulk fades of into the sunset. Later Tony Stark taunts the General over drinks.

Do as hulk does when a display plays this movie...smash.

Ah , Tony Stark , the Ironman. Out of the weapons business for the time being , Tony reopens Howard Stark's old stomping grounds the Stark expo. Dropping in as Ironman our hero kicks the expo off in style. After which he heads off ready to party. His party is sadly crashed when he is taken for a ride by a beautiful woman who turns out to be a federal agent ordering his appearance before Congress.

At the hearing he is criticized by all the other kids for not sharing his cool toys. Not only is he unsympathetic to the complaints , he actually heckles his naysayers. Demonstrating the far inferior robots major players like China , North Korea , and well Justin Hammer are working on. Even Col. Rhodes manipulated comments can't stop his ego rush as he charges out the door.

There is one guy however , in Russia . He is really not amused. His patience has worn thin and the death of his father is the last straw. He sets to work and builds his own reactor , then whips together an ad hoc suit of his own. Next stop the Monaco GP.

Back at Stark HQ , Jarvis is raising a stink about Tony's love of heavy metal. His blood toxicity is growing and his time is running short. In desperation to place things in the best situation he orders Pepper Potts to take control of his company in his absence. Even Rhodes isn't impressed with his health.

Tony meets with Pepper settling in to her new position and she brings the transfer of power paperwork as well as a rather nice looking notary named Natalie Rushman. Whilst Tony looks her up and is chastised by Pepper , Natalie whips his driver into shape. The paperwork signed Tony himself is off to Monaco. There he meets Rushman again demands that his seating choice be met and tables all discussion with Justin Hammer. Bored with the appetizer menu he get his gas on by driving his own car in the race.

His dreams of hoisting the trophy in the winners circle are cut short by an interloper. With a special briefcase in hand Pepper comes to Tony's aid via a crash course in wrong way driving and an expert pit stop by her driver.

After small talk Tony puts on the metal and shreds his slasher opponent's moves in front of the world. The police believe the guy is crazy , however he knows how to build arc reactors so Tony questions his knowledge of such and his taste in underwear.

Justin Hammer sees money. He breaks out the Russian and flys him back to Hammer HQ. There he asks him to build him a whole line of Iron Man Suits. Instead he begins building drone soldiers for the branches of the US military. Hammer doesn't get it but doesn't want to miss his tee time either.

It's Tony Stark's birthday and he's going to party like it's 1999. Rhodie has had enough and put his foot down in an Ironman suit from Tony's wardrobe. Then flys off to his base. Where he has it outfitted by Justin Hammer.

Tony's coffee and donut break is causing a certain SHEILD agents Fury. After removing him from the donut the agent asks his why he let Rhodes steal his gear and why he's giving his stuff away. Rushman shows up but Fury explains she is his spy Natasha Romanoff. She then stabs him in the neck . It hurts but eliminates the very toxic crossword puzzle on his neck.

In a conversation at what was left at Stark HQ. , fury explains that his opponent is the son of Anton Vanko a man his father had deported over a disagreement about clean energy. Fury admits no one ever found what Howard Stark was talking about but Fury bets Tony can.

He leaves him under house arrest and with all of Howard Stark's notes. What seems to be a pointless review is suddenly cleared up on an old home movie reel. Stark then trys to kill pepper with strawberries, argues over Latin with Romanoff and brings home a big train diarama that was once his dads. The map is a dual image one of the Stark Expo , the other of a new element that solves his indigestion problem. Colson Leaves for New Mexico.

Shortly after Vanko calls and threatens Tony like all villains do , Stark figures out he will hit the expo. Not shy about making an appearance he busts in on Hammer's speech just in time for Rhodie and the drone warriors to begin attacking the crowd. Romanoff meanwhile breakers into Hammer's HQ and finds Vanko vanished.

She assists in disabling the drones and then Rhodie tells Stark and Potts to get a room. Later Stark is given a medal and a firm reminder of how annoying a little prick can be.

The Good Guys Win . The Bad Guys Lose. And there is a bird too.

Meet Tony Stark weapons dealer of the year. Today he wishes to display his greatest achievement yet the Jericho. All orders above a billion dollars come with free booze. After wrapping up the sale he chats it up with lifelong pal Obadiah Stain before settling in to a comfy military escort to his ride home. Topics in of conversation include social media posts , women and AC/DC.

The convoy is suddenly attacked leaving Tony wondering which was more deadly , the war , or the reporter from Vegas earlier in the week. After his convoy is slaughtered Tony is offered the once in a lifetime opportunity to personally test his product. In no time at all he awakens in a locked room inside a cave. Everything seems fine except for the car battery attached to his chest.

He has company. The doctor who saved his life , who informs him he is now the prisoner of the ten rings. Then the ten rings and their leaders show up demanding their own Jericho. First things first Tony must get something off his chest. He builds a micro arc reactor to replace his die hard and sets off to build his escape weapon. The terrorists catch on too late and Tony charges into action destroying the camp and freeing himself.

After being rescued by Col. Rhodes , he flys back home for a cheeseburger and to announce a halt to all weapons manufacture. Agent Colson asks Pepper Potts for a meeting and it is kicked down the road. Tony heads home to kick back and work on his new idea. His friends and the US Military are not on board and he realizes he must go it alone.

After several test runs and building the prototype he realizes it's party time an heads to his own charity ball , there he charms Potts , schedules a meeting with Colson and encounters an outraged blonde reporter while getting drinks. Her photos convince him something is up so he presents them to Stain who informs him that he is going to shut Tony out of the company.

Back home Tony takes his frustration out on the decor and watches the news. He decides to take matters in his own hands and flys off to meet with the terrorists in person. With any chance of diplomacy shot down Stark takes out the trash. He doesn't get far when his enthusiasm is tanked. He is swift enough to recover and leave an explosive situation behind.

The return flight was not easy after his sour negotiating caught attention , the US Air Force sends two jets to chat with him about it. He wriggles his way out of the fight saving a pilot in the process. Stain begins producing a suit of his own. Tony is putting the finishing touches on his suit but realizes he will need files from work. He sends Potts to fetch them. During her download she discovers Stain sent the ten rings after Tony. She leaves as soon as possible with Stain in tow. Agent Colson is waiting for his debrief and she invites him out to lunch at his place.

Stain meanwhile steals Tony's Arc to power his own suit.

A dummy robot gives Tony a hand up and he suits up for the main event. Back at the shop Colson and Potts are looking for Stain to arrest him. Tony chimes in and arrives just in time to prevent Stain from stepping on his aide. The fight is on and spills all over the city , until Stain develops an icing problem and falls to earth. Tony and pepper flee as Stain blows his top and the life sized arc reactor next to him.

The blonde reporter jumps all over Tony at the resulting press conference and he admits , " I am Ironman "...

The type of thing you could only find in a comic book.