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Reviews
Rhythm and Weep (1946)
Maybe the worst Stooge short of all
"Rhythm and Weep" begins with the Stooges being thrown out of a theatre for having the worst act on the circuit, while the theatre manager suggests they commit suicide...so they agree! Funny stuff, huh? They decide to jump off the ledge of a building. But there encounter three beautiful dancers who are also planning on killing themselves. A laff riot so far! Also on the roof is a man who claims to be a filthy rich Broadway producer who can't find a cast, which leads to their salvation. But anyone who can't figure out the punchline the first time the "producer" laughs maniacally should watch Westerns instead. This short shows Curly at his sickest; his timing is gone, and he is virtually incapable of performing the slightest comedy shtick. As a result, most of what would have been Curly business is shifted to Larry. The three dancers are fine, despite the club-footed choreography, but the short over-all has the appalling stink of one of those "Lets-Put-On-A-Show" wartime "Our Gang" comedies. If you love the Stooges, avoid this one like the plague.
The Mummy's Tomb (1942)
Decent Halloween Romp
Somewhat overburdened with stock footage from "The Mummy," "The Mummy's Hand," and even "Frankenstein," "The Mummy's Tomb" is nevertheless eerily shot and has its moments. There are some continuity problems with its predecessor (such as "Hand"'s Babe JENSON suddenly becoming Babe HANSON), but it also features Lon Chaney Jr.'s best turn as Kharis. He famously hated the role, but here he actually puts in the effort, using body language and gestures to convey the fact that Kharis is seriously dead, but still walking. Dick Foran and Wallace Ford from "The Mummy's Hand" age believably, and Turhan Bey as this week's High Priest of Karnak does his best, even though the script calls for him to be lurking about in virtually every scene, "Zelig"-like, in order to keep the plot going. Despite its idiosyncrasies, "The Mummy's Tomb" is arguably the best of the Chaney series.
Murder, She Wrote: Witness for the Defense (1987)
The Worst MSW?
This rip-off of Agatha Christie's "Witness for the Prosecution" might just be the worst episode of "Murder, She Wrote" ever. The two stars are primarily for the eccentrically energetic performance of Patrick McGoohan as a flamboyant defense barrister, the level of class Juliet Mills as his court opponent brings to the proceedings, and the fact that Angela Lansbury is allowed multiple opportunities to present amusing "undercover" personae during the course of her investigation. The problem begins with the farcical depiction of a court case and ends with the fact that any fully awake viewer will have caught on to the murderer's identity much before it hits Jessica in the last five minutes. For some reason, this episode is set in Quebec, Canada, though there is nary a French-speaking or accented person, or any semblance of local color. Half the cast is American (including a stereotypical New York wiseguy), and the other half British. Another problem is that the ostensible hero, the man accused of murder, is such a wuss that you almost want him to be wrongly convicted anyway. As close to a total loss as the series came.
Tales from the Darkside: Effect and Cause (1985)
Effective moments but an ineffective story
"Effect and Cause" is almost a mini-metaphor for "Tales from the Darkside" overall: it has its creepy moments, but also flounders in amateurish production values. The series strong point was always its casts, though it was "Summer Stock" casting, with one or two big name actors, often miscast, supported by unknowns. The big name in "Effect and Cause" is Susan Strasberg, who is badly miscast in a stereotypical young, kooky ditz role. Her relationship with the other characters is vague at best, but the biggest problem is that the script really makes no sense at all. Written by Michael Kube-McDowell (not to be confused with the more successful horror writer Michael McDowell, who also wrote for the show), it sets up an intriguing situation but offers no explanation whatsoever as to why it is happening. It apparently has something to do with paintings, but maybe not. Director Mark Jean makes the most of several scare moments, but again, there is little attempt to rationalize what's going on. As for the ending...well, a lot of "TFTD" episodes didn't really end, they simply stopped, and this is a prime example.
Tales from the Darkside: Answer Me (1985)
A low point for this series
The gist of "Answer Me" is very simple: it's Woman vs. Telephone. And as such, it has the occasional eerie moment. But overall, this episode is a flop. There are two major problems: one is the script, which is written as an extended monologue, like a one-woman play; and the other is the one-woman cast. Taken together, those are pretty big problems. Jean Marsh, a fine actress in most instances, is woefully miscast as a young British actress in New York to audition for a commercial, who is driven to distraction by an incessantly-ringing telephone. Not only is she too old and classical for the role but she projects her monologue to third balcony. The nonsensical script (written by the vastly overrated Michael McDowell) calls upon her to do so many stupid things as to make the proverbial horror movie ingenue who goes into the basement without turning on the lights look like a genius by comparison. On the plus side, direction and photography are atmospheric...but that hardly matters when the story is so dumb.