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Natural Born Sellers (2012)
The Worst Show HGTV has ever shown
What HGTV executive thought it would be a good idea to have a show that shows a couple of bottle blonds sell a $200k property in Rancho Cucamonga? Did someone lose a bet? In the HGTV blurb for this disaster it says that this family is "some of California's most sought-after and successful agents"....really? HGTV has many "good" real estate programs like "Property Virgins" (the Sandra Rinomato version, not the new one), "Selling New York" and even "The Property Shop", which I admit was a bit weird and I often wondered if it was really a Canadian soap opera rather than a reality show. But come on HGTV, we know you are upset that Bravo has "Million Dollar Listing", but is there any need to go so down market with this? What's next, a show about selling trailers in Florida???
Idiocracy (2006)
I wished this film had been better, I really did
So I read that Mike Judge "borrowed" the idea from C.M. Kornbluth's Marching Morons, but like most Hollywood films today everyone "borrows" from someone else. So I watched this film wondering if Fox made the right decision to let this film sit around and then basically let it die a sad death. After 10 minutes I realized that they made a good decision. It is bad. Not particularly bad acting, Maya Rudolph and Luke Wilson seemed more than adequate delivering their lines. It was not even a particularly bad idea. It's just that the idea didn't really materialize into anything more. The script was flat, one-dimensional, character-destroying and just plain horrible. Some nice touches, mostly visual, but the script didn't make sense and the actors were forced to meander through a waste of 84 minutes of everyone's time. As I said, I really wanted to like this movie, I really did.
Mind of Mencia (2005)
What happened to Carlos - Race Out - Sex In
Carlos is perhaps not the most original comic, but the first series was amusing, his forthright comments and observations were fresh. I missed a couple of seasons, but after all of the allegations of stealing material I caught a couple of episodes of the Mind of Mencia at the end of July 07. A bit of a change I see! Carlos is much more into toilet humor and sex jokes than the race observations. In one episode he sort of implied he was in the same league as Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle. I think not. Perhaps Comedy Central will give him one more season, but episodes I saw sounded tired and samey with more words beeped out than the Osbournes. Carlos, go back to stand-up for a couple of years, get some fresh material and try again.
Man of the Year (2006)
Half a good movie, Half a bad movie
Why half a good movie? well, let me expand a little. The initial set up by Walken's character tells the viewers that there are two stories up front. Obviously Mr Levinson was worried that we wouldn't get it, shame on you for thinking the audience is dumb. The Robin Williams half of the movie and the characters in it is great, great fun, great actors, "The Daily Show" meets the "West Wing". Obviously this was how the movie was sold and bravo it was great. Somehow some studio dummy suggested a subplot with Laura Linney. This "half" of the movie stank. Big time. No excuses. Mr Levinson must have written this on a lunch break at Starbucks, it's trash. The viewing public are more savvy than he thinks. We know that if the Government buys an electronic voting system, which they can't as the voting is controlled by each state, they would test it. Years of testing, not just by one lonely tech nerd, Laura Linney. The whole "computer glitch" farce is ridiculous, totally amateur, if I had read that rubbish I would have thrown it back to the writer and torn them a "new one". Trash, Mr Levinson, trash. This movie had the potential to be good. If this had kept more with Robin Williams and followed a more serious note than say "Head of State" with Chris Rock, then it would have none of the comments I read here. The whole voting machine thing was a fiasco, ultra-poor writing and asks the audience to "act dumb" and "forget reality" as far as the subplot goes. I can understand why there are no "deleted scenes" on the DVD, Mr Levinson must have needed every inch of film to come up with something the studio would approve for distribution. The studio then had to market this film with no mention of the subplot, because if they did no-one would have paid to see the movie. Thank the Lord for Netflix.
American Dreamz (2006)
Left me very disappointed
Who doesn't like Hugh Grant? We all love the films he does; "Notting Hill", "Two Weeks Notice", "Love Actually", "About a Boy", "Bridget Jones", etc. So I thought maybe this movie was of that caliber. Well I was very disappointed by this film. It wasn't really the acting that was bad, Mandy Moore was OK, Chris Klein, Seth Meyers, Jen Coolidge, Marcia Gay Harden, Willem Dafoe, all very capable in this movie. Dennis Quaid did a good George Bush impression. I think Tony Yalda and Sam Golzari (whi I was surprised to find was a fellow Brit) stole the movie. Both these guys were great. Unfortunately they were good in a bad movie. So what went wrong? I think there are a couple of major issues. Firstly the story was weak, very very thin. The total lack of subplots made it easy to concentrate on the story, but made the movie so light and predictable that you can predict the last thirty minutes of the movie after watching the first fifteen. Secondly the stereotyping of characters featured in this movie is unexcusable. Totally unnecessary and insulting.
Fascination (2004)
I can't believe that someone paid money to see this disaster
I caught this film by chance as my wife fell asleep on the sofa and this was on when I woke her up. I was interested to hear Alice Evans's voice so I sat down and tried to watch the film. I really tried, honestly I really did, but I was totally taken aback by the total lack of acting skills of the main characters. I was stunned at how wooden the actors were. I just can't explain how so much money was spent on such a disaster of a film. I have seen bad films that turned out to be funny because they were trying to be serious, but this wasn't even funny. It was just bad. I guess the producers spent all their cash on getting the "name" i.e. Jacquiline Bisset, and the other $1000 was spent making the film. I think that the director must not have visited Key West as the movie was made in PR and that is nothing like South Florida. But did you notice something suspicious about lots of the reviews here on IMDb? They're all loving the movie! what planet were they living on? How much did the studio pay people to go online and write positive reviews? Thank goodness that IMDb weight the rating as they can tell who has seen a movie and who is paid to say it. PS. Daryl Haney gets a minus 5 for writing a disaster of a script. He should stick to his soft-core porn scripts e.g. Emmanuelle-Queen of the Galaxy and Lady Chatterley's Stories, where the script doesn't really matter.
Where the Truth Lies (2005)
Did I miss something?
I just finished watching the film and I was underwhelmed. I found the story to be rather lacking, interesting idea, but lacking. Poor Alison Lohman was completely out of her depth, no way should she be a leading actress in this film. Kevin Bacon and Colin Firth were good as always, but they were buried under Lohman's inability to act in more than one dimension, constant shuttling between the fifties and the seventies and a terrible overbearing score by Mychael Danna. I really gave the movie a chance and I hoped that either she, Alison Lohman, would either get better or disappear, but alas I was disappointed. I got rather bored with the strategically placed sex scenes as they seemed to just be put there to spice up a rather dull movie.
Friends with Money (2006)
I was expecting so much more
Not having seen this movie at the theater, I rented the DVD on day one it came out. I was, to say the least, very disappointed. I thought that with a cast of such talented actors; Keener, McDormand, Issacs, Cusack and McBurney (congratulations on the OBE from the Queen), much much more would have been achieved. I am sure the writers, producers, director hoped for much more and I am sure that in the editing it became clear that they had a stinker.
I know this was an "independent" film, but I am sure if cost a fortune to make and even if Anniston didn't want too much money (I mean she got $5M for Along Came Polly). It must have made the studio cry when they saw this effort fail to make any box office traction.
Overall, all the main players have made better movies. However it was good to see Simon McBurney (who is a great stage actor) and Jason Issacs.
The Family Stone (2005)
Funny, well only in places
I watched this film on a flight (April 2006) and I was prepared to stay awake to watch it. Totally missed it at the cinema so I was wondering if it was as bad (or as good) as friends had told me. The film starts of quite funny. Family meets SJP, amusing, yes. After the first half hour the story sort of loses it way and Dermot seems pretty bored with the whole acting thing. I forget how Clare Danes gets involved, but by this time I was ready to start reading SKYMALL and decide what I didn't like from Frontgate and the Sharper Image. But I continued to listen and watch (mostly) the film and realized that the actors were all playing parts that they had played before in other films (except Rachel McAdmams perhaps). Dermot was playing the part he played in "Best Friends Wedding", Luke Wilson was the same as he was in "Legally Blonde", and they do it very well, but the writing really was predictable and in some parts, pretty poor. So in conclusion, I missed out on 90 minutes of sleep by watching this film, pity I did.
Inconceivable (2005)
Inconceivable that this was actually made
Sorry NBC, I think you have got a great cast that has produced probably the worst new series on network TV and I'm including the FOX show that has already been cancelled after 2 airings. The idea that a fertility clinic is a great backdrop for a riveting drama is well, at best misguided. I have no real opinion on the fertility issue, but thousands do and that is dividing your viewing public right there. Then you alienate another bunch of viewers by having white parents rejecting a black baby. Going well so far? Then there is gay couple using a surrogate (I think that lost the bible belt), a BJ in the office, switching "husbands deposits" kept in a wine cooler, labels that seem not to stick well, records laying around with photos and no security. Hell, no wonder they need a lawyer, I think they must have broken so many laws it is a wonder they are not already closed down. Come on NBC, pull their license to practice and put on reruns of Law & Order, you know it makes sense. And Angie Harmon, run like hell away from this Friday night fiasco.
Bad Boy (2002)
If I wish I hadn't bother to watch it
I read a article that said you know you have watched a bad film when they show the funny outtakes over the end credits and that makes you laugh the most. Well this film didn't even make me laugh when I saw the outtakes. What in God's name was Leary doing in this pile of poop. He makes good comedy and has talent. Liz Hurley has less acting talent than my cat. Her only claim to fame was her association to Hugh Grant. As an Englishman I am ashamed that we let her loose on the world. To make things worse now she is breeding!! If you see this advertised at 12:10AM on HBO, don't watch, turn to PBS or CNN Headline news, you will laugh more. I promise.
The Last Minute (2001)
I really didn't like this movie
As a ex-Brit who is of a similar age and born in the same place as Norrington, but I am wondering what went wrong with him. I had never heard of this film until I saw it advertised on STARZ movie channel. I thought "oh good, fellow Brit, sounds like a good movie". Oh dear was I wrong....Parts I liked (no spoilers)...the camera work, Max Beesley's character, comic touches....Parts I didn't like....Tom Bell's character (totally unbelievable) as to was Jason Issacs, the end, the middle and about 90% of the story. Some of the scenes with Jason Issacs (Percy) actually were so gross and unbelievable that two of the people I was watching this with asked me to turn it off. I did not and watched the whole lot. I wished I had not bothered at all.
Norrington is a genius, no doubt. But "The Last Minute" is for true UK fans only, Americans beware.
The Stepford Wives (2004)
I have figured out a better ending to please all
OK, for starters I am talking about the DVD version, not some screen test version or some studio version that someone got from there brother's girlfriend's cousin at the studio. I know there are 200+ comments out there describing the robot versus mind control script disaster, but I have thought of a sad, but feasible way to clear up the mess and include all those lovely (and expensive) CG scenes of Bette et al. OK, so at the beginning of the film (before it got bad), Kidman (as the TV Exec) gets shot by her reality show contestant, Hank (Mike White). The shot misses and she gets canned, has a breakdown, goes to Stepford etc....Well what if either the shot does not miss and all of the "Stepford" experience is all in her mind as he lies injured or the "Stepford" experience is all in her mind as is the looney bin having her breakdown......I know not perfect, but I am sure it would have had less of us complaining about the terrible plot (and I am being kind here).
Me Myself I (1999)
Ignored by Hollywood so they copied the idea and made "A Family Man"
Why, oh why does Hollywood ignore super films like this and then make a copycat, in this case the abismal "A Family Man". Rachel Griffiths is great in this film, the story is fun and original.
Australian films deserve a lot more success in the US, not just Australian actors.
One West Waikiki (1994)
Female Medical Examiner solves the crime, sound familar
For those who are enjoying "Crossing Jordan" there was an equally good show which was almost exactly the same except shot in Hawaii. Yes "One West Waikiki" starring Cheryl Ladd was an excellent example of showing good acting with excellent locations and reasonable plots. Fast forward seven years and lo and behold NBC schedule "Crossing Jordan" a copycat of "One West Waikiki" without the beautiful scenery...go figure.