Reviews

I don't think I've been this bored in cinema for a while. This felt longer and more dragged out than three hours of Oppenheimer. I mean, Zack Snyder's Justice League felt less dragged out than this.

Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse is easily the most overrated film of 2023 I've seen (I didn't see Barbie but part of me wishes I'd seen that instead).

Rave all you want about the visuals but staring at those visuals for 2.5 hours on a large cinema screen soon becomes an eyesore.

I have a minor personal gripe with Spider-Punk. Mostly because where I'm from in England, everybody tries to emulate the language and mannerisms of Hobie because they "think it's cool". It's not.

The lack of Spider-Noir and Spider-Ham was felt too and that kinda knocks it down a bit.

Spider-Man 2099 was incredibly predictable as a character. I don't get the hype there at all. So he's an edgy, unfunny Spider-Man, so what? He felt relatively flat in terms of character.

Props where it's due, they did a great job turning The Spot into a genuine threat and not just a villain of the week. They should've focussed more on his part of the story instead of the Spider-Council side. Additionally, Indian Spider-Man was probably the best new addition in this film, as he seemed genuinely likeable and had a fun and unique vibe.

The final act of this film dragged on for what felt like an hour in itself, throwing one plot twist, followed by another, then a cliffhanger but wait, there's more! Two more cliffhangers later and it's finally over. Pacing issues were prominent.

And my final point, which is more of a personal preference really, but Miles Morales just isn't as good as Peter Parker. He's nowhere near as compelling and certainly not as iconic. When you say "Spider-Man" the default name is Peter Parker for a reason. This isn't exactly the worst Spider-Man film but No Way Home did multiversal Spider-Men better and Sam Raimi's Spider-Man 1 and 2 sweep them all.

It shocks me that at one point this film was #3 on IMDb's Top 250 films because in no reality should it be a canon event that this film ranks higher than The Dark Knight. I'm hoping in the future people will rewatch this film, realise it's not all that, and the undeserved 8.6/10 rating drops lower.

Perhaps watching The Big Bang Theory has given me a different perspective on how utterly pointless this film is, seeing as if Indiana Jones did absolutely nothing in this film, the Nazis would still open the Ark of the Covenant and their faces would melt until they died. Despite this and the fact that he claims to not believe in magic when discussing the Ark despite the fact he witnessed dark magic throughout Temple Of Doom (a prequel, which ultimately seems like a strange idea that they didn't plan out fully for the second movie), this film is still fun and includes many iconic scenes and has truly cemented itself as one of the all-time classics.

I'd half expect a mob outside my house after that statement but I honestly enjoyed this way more than ATSV.

No, I don't know the drama about Ezra Miller and frankly, I don't care. I'm taking the movie for what it is and it is a fun time.

Michael Keaton's return as Batman was great to see, the new Supergirl seemed really well cast actually, and even if the CGI was awful, seeing Nicolas Cage as Superman made me very happy. The story is pretty decent, the film knows how to have fun and not feel like an absolute bore, and the idea with Barry turning into the villain himself after trying to fix time over and over again was clever.

All in all, Ezra's Flash has now been banished to the Clooney-verse and it's time for a fresh start in the DCU. It's not a perfect film but it's still enjoyable.

Commando is a typical 80s action shoot-'em-up film and that's good enough for this viewer. Arnold Schwarzenegger chews scenery while his bullets chew through enemies as he racks up one of his highest kill counts in Schwarzenegger filmography, spitting one-liners all the way. His dialogue in this film is iconic; "Remember when I said I'd kill you last? I lied!" he says, while dropping a man off a cliff. "Let Off Some Steam, Bennett!" he says as he impales Bennett with a steam pipe. It's a staple of Arnold's career and a proper fun time. Sometimes, you don't want deep stories, you just wanna see Arnold blow stuff up and mow everyone down with guns!

The third film in the saga of the one and only Richard B Riddick takes us back to a similar plot to the first film but with more focus on Riddick himself as the main character and ditches the strange visual choices of Pitch Black and the B-Movie feel of The Chronicles of Riddick. While this film does have a lot in common with the first film, I feel this one is an improvement on the first and personally, I'm now invested enough in the franchise to be excited for the fourth Riddick film, as this is one of Vin Diesel's best characters.

Although who knows, maybe we'll get a Multiverse of Vin Diesel when Fast & Furious XXX: Xander Cage Vs Riddick comes out, haha!

Shameless fan service done right. This film brings back Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield to help Tom Holland cure five legacy villains and send them back to their realities after a Dr Strange spell goes wrong. The first reveal of Alfred Molina's Doc Ock was one of the most hyped moments in Phase 4 MCU, and Willem Dafoe returned, showing he hasn't lost a step as he brilliantly plays Norman Osbourne and finally ditches the dumb mask of the Green Goblin.

This film was initially meant to come out after Multiverse of Madness but because it didn't, they had to write in the subplot with Dr Strange's spell that breaks the multiverse, which is where you'll find one or two plot holes, but other than that and the film's somewhat predictable nature (we all knew the other Spider-Men were coming back), this film is great fun.

Better than the other multiversal Spider-Man movie.

This movie was incredibly Strange. 4 kinds of Strange, to be exact. The Dr Stephen Strange returns in a multiversal romp to protect America Chavez from from the latest villain... Wanda Maximoff! The Scarlet Witch has gone bad after the events of Wandavision and will go to any lengths to find a reality with her two sons (apparently she's given up on finding a reality of Vision, I guess). While the plot isn't completely air-tight, the film is visually brilliant and seeing the return of Professor X from the original X-Men trilogy and the surprise reveal of John Krasinski (Jim from The Office) as Mr. Fantastic was a real "wow!" moment... for his less than five minutes of screen time. I think one of the best scenes was the musical fight between Dr Strange and Sinister Strange, in which they used musical notes against each other while a combination of Danny Elfman score and Beethoven's Fifth Symphony combine to provide a perfect audio to compliment the scene.

Dodgeball is the kind of movie I can come back to after a year and still find everything hilarious again and again. This movie is the King of sports comedy films. From the loveable goofs of Average Joe's to the over-the-top villain in Ben Stiller's White Goodman, and watching Patches throw wrenches at people under the logic of "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball". The movie delivers consistent laughs throughout and is a real feel-good comedy for all ages. Plenty of jokes the kids will get and plenty more that'll go over their heads and the adults will understand. Every time I watch this film, I seem to pick up on a new joke each time.

Be sure to watch the hilarious post-credit scene with White Goodman too! It took me many views to realise it existed and it was unexpected to say the least.

Nicolas Cage's middle third of his iconic action trifecta of the late nineties wasn't quite as amazing as The Rock or Face/Off but it still hits high and remains a staple of 90s action filmography. Nicolas Cage puts on his odd southern accent as Cameron Poe, who finds himself aboard a plane of convicts being sent to a high security prison, only to find himself playing John McClain when the convicts take over the plane, led by the insane Cyrus "The Virus". Throw in an array of other mad henchmen and police on the outside that Poe communicates with, you've essentially got the skeleton of Die Hard but with a unique skin, as this is one of the post-Die Hard action films that makes itself stand out compared to many competitors in that field. There's a reason why this is regarded as one of Cage's best actions films and it's definitely worth a watch.

Never has a film managed to blend so many genres in this way. Nicolas Cage and Pedro Pascal carry this meta buddy comedy action thriller drama to an incredible high. Nicolas Cage plays Nick Cage, who takes the job of entertaining a superfan for $1,000,000 only to be intercepted by CIA agents who believe this fan, Javi, is, in fact, a druglord in a cartel. Meanwhile, Nick stays close to Javi as they begin writing a film together that would eventually be their own story. A marijuana-fuelled chase and a break-in later, Nick finds himself thrust into the action hero role he'd often played before.

Utterly brilliant. The best 2022 film I've seen and one of few movies I've truly wanted to applaud at the cinema.

Face/Off is one of the greatest action movies to exist. Nicolas Cage and John Travolta bring their A-Game playing themselves and each other in a movie so fun that you're willing to overlook how incredibly stupid the Face/Off procedure actually is. This is Travolta and Cage in perhaps one of the most unhinged performances they've both done in the best way possible, from Travolta taunting Cage in prison to Cage's infamous Hallelujah scene. This movie is certainly one of the best for Cage, Travolta, and director John Woo and is always a good time to watch! Easily a 9/10 for me and one of my favourite Nic Cage films.

Dolph Lundgren has done his fair share of B-Movies and I'd reckon this one sits between A and B. He plays Frank Castle, The Punisher, in an attempt to be judge, jury, and executioner as the violent hero takes to the streets to defeat a crime syndicate. It's the typical type of 80s action movie action with some cheesiness and some ridiculousness. And the movie begins as it ends: with a full shot of Dolph's rear. Overall though, it is a fun and easy watch, a proper old fashioned action film that doesn't require too much depth, just guns, action, and you guessed it, more action! It's not MCU budget but it's fine for its time.

Demolition Man takes a genius premise, a spin on the idea of thawing a caveman out in our time, this movie thaws a cop and a criminal out in the future where things have changed drastically. Rules and regulations have increased so much to ban violence, verbal abuse, physical contact and even meat! Not too dissimilar to the dismal future we're on track towards, a world where freedom is restricted and you can't so much as touch another human being in any way. Stallone's John Spartan struggles to adapt to the new world in his bid to take down his longtime enemy Simon Phoenix, played by Wesley Snipes. Stallone's job is to track down Simon and figure out who released him from his CryoPrison and why in this high action movie for the ages.

And no, you don't want to know how the three seashells work.

The Fast Family are back after nine cinema outings and at this point, you'd think they couldn't get more insane than sending a car to space but then they drove the seemingly invincible Dodge Charger down the side of a water dam after jumping it out of the sky a few moments earlier. Oh, and there's a cannon car. At this point, it's easier to just point and laugh along with how ridiculous this franchise has become but it is stills quite enjoyable. Jason Momoa's Dante was an interesting villain for the movie, balancing threat with eccentricity. Oh, and did I mention that a young kid jumped from one high speed car into the door of another almost by magic? Yeah, it's getting ridiculous but it's fun if you partake in the joke.

Pitch Black is a somewhat artistically shot take on typical alien-horror tropes carried by a supporting character. There's a reason Richard B. Riddick was the name they built the franchise on, as in interesting, layered criminal with anti-hero tendancies as he reluctantly helps his captors survive the night against aliens with night-vision. It's a suspenseful film that oozes the 2000s era of edgy and the camera work on this film is certainly unique. I'd say it's nothing extraordinary and isn't quite the best movie in the franchise but it's certainly worth a watch. Would certainly recommend the franchise, especially to Vin Diesel fans.

You know the Farrelly Brothers from making Dumb & Dumber. We'll, this time it's Bowl & Bowler as a former bowlers who loses the use of his hand trains up an Amish bowler who he believes has more talent than he really does. Of course, it's because he needs the prize money from a bowling tournament but can't bowl himself any more. It becomes your slightly funnier than average buddy comedy about two guys with completely different backgrounds as Ismail soon gets a culture shock when he sees what life outside the Amish village is like. Adding in the eccentric antagonist played by Bill Murray, you get a thoroughly enjoyable film that's probably good enough to watch again every few years.

I love Nicolas Cage. He's my favourite actor. In my bid to watch as many Cage films as I could, I decided to watch the sequel to Ghost Rider. There aren't many movies I regret watching but this one's pushing the limit.

Nicolas Cage returns as Johnny Blaze, who occasionally transforms into a ghoulish alter ego who takes the souls of those who sin... or something. This time, he's joined by Idris Elba as he attempts to protect the devil's son from the devil, who had changed his name from Mephistopheles to Roarke for unknown reasons. To help obtain his son, Roarke gives some lackey the power of decay, which is both inconsistent and just so lame, and somewhere along the way, Cage urinates fire, loses his powers, spends a fair amount of the movie without his powers because despite all his rage he's stuck as just Nicolas Cage (which might be better actually compared to Ghost Rider's CGI), eventually he gets his powers back, and everything ends.

The CGI is dire, the acting is not great, it's mostly set in one of those Eastern European countries, Turkey I think, that gave good tax breaks to movies so you know it's low budget, and despite starring Nicolas Cage, this movie featured surprisingly little of Cage having his trademark breakdowns, save for one scene ("Scraping at the door!") that's perhaps one of the only entertaining scenes in this movie.

Long story short, it's not good. There are better non-MCU Marvel movies and better Nicolas Cage movies, save yourself the time and skip this one.

There, I said it. This film is genuinely really good. It throws away the campiness and lightsabers in favour of being an intergalactic war film with high stakes, expendable characters, and a good tie in to the first movie, as an unlikely team of rebels do their part to release the Death Star plans to the rebel alliance. The acting is solid, the story is good, you're never expecting who might survive or not, and the stakes are as high as they can be. Tied in with a surprisingly good non-Sith villain and the epic scene at the end where Darth Vader slaughters everyone in his big-screen return, this movie really does tick all the boxes.