When I heard this film was getting so much buzz in a year ripe with quality horror, I was more than excited. What a let down. This hacky horror is a collection of the tackiest horror tropes with unsatisfying jump scares and more slow motion than a Zach Snyder movie. What was an interesting concept to twist the genre totally falls flat and into a tired and cringey slap fest. The villain lacks dimension so much so, you wish he was just Jason Voorhees so you could actually enjoy it. There's no one to root for and it's completely unsatisfying. 2016/17 horror really killed it and this film just did not.
Reviews
17 Reviews
Nocturnal Animals
(2016)
A Great Film Dipped in Art House Bullshit
12 September 2016
Nocturnal animals is three stories woven into one. It's a story about a woman (Amy Adams) living in her upper class LA life with problems in her boring marriage to her gorgeous, rich, husband. She mysteriously receives a manuscript from her ex husband, to whom she hasn't spoken to in 19 years. The manuscript is a terrifying story of a man who's family is attacked on the highway. This story is overlayed with Adam's present, and her past, falling in love with her first husband, Eddie, the author of the manuscript. The tale of the family man on the highway is an excellent story of a man's descent, in the style of great films like Prisoners. The rest feels like an empty attempt to create an art house dichotomy between Adam's character and the man in the novel, with less than subtle "hints" like a red velvet couch appearing in the three stories at a shallow attempt to mirror the feeling in each story. It completely falls flat and serves as a distraction from a good story to focus on an underdeveloped story of a woman in a bad marriage out of love with her career, that we've seen a hundred times. It felt like a narcissistic attempt to be "deep" by mirroring objects at three different points in time and space. The visuals are beautiful and the focus on colour does not go unnoticed. Each actor acted for their lives, and there is certainly some credit due to Tom Ford for seeming to get the best performance out of this brilliant ensemble cast.
Jurassic World
(2015)
Joke Bait and Nostalgia
18 June 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Starbucks Presents: Jurrasic World: A Pandora Presentstion. Spielberg has gotten a hold of Chris Pratt's "All The Harrison Ford Roles" reel (the Solo vest, the close calls with closing gates...)and helped some guys splice it with dinosaurs to make a movie. At least, I think it was a dinosaur movie... it might have been a movie about family... or brotherhood... or militarization... or god complexes... or hubris... or relationships... or dinosaurs. Dinosaurs. They were the villains... or maybe the villains were the military guys... or the science guys... or the humans in general... or the adonimous rex... or the raptors... I dunno, but I'm pretty sure the T Rex was the protagonist. Bold move not introducing the protag until the third act. In a film that was basically "cinemasins" bait, prepare for unexplained explosions and plot developments that somehow don't develop the plot (like... why did it matter about it being part raptor? Why was that a big reveal). On an island in south America, run by a middle eastern guy, everyone working and visiting will be white and American. Watch one woman shoot and kill a dino eating a man and immediately hear "wow, your boyfriend is badass." But don't worry, feminists, she'll outrun a T Rex in high heels later. (Yeah. Get in real tight on those high heels). Watch as Chris Pratt's "funny bumbling dude" persona is stripped from him and handed to Jake Johnson and replaced with a fake tan and an ability to emote using only his eyelids. Enjoy the nostalgia like the original DNA animation, the ageless scientist, and the entire park from the first movie which has just been left there to rot for some reason. Revel in fear at the ADONOMOUS REX, a dino with so many undefined powers, it even manages to change it's scale throughout the movie. Then sit and reflect that you just contributed 20 bucks to that movie's gross and notice the blatant sequel set ups. *sigh* where's Goldbloom when you need him? ("We're not making the same mistakes" "uhhh no. You're making all new ones"). ... seriously there is too much to say. That was just so terrible...
Maggie
(I) (2015)
A Human Approach to the Zombie Genre
22 April 2015
Maggie was certainly a zombie movie,but more than that, it was a movie about a young girl facing certain death at the hands of a new virus and how it affects everyone around her. Arnold shines as a father coping with his dying daughter and staying strong in the worst of all situations.
Every long shot is like an art piece. Scene changes are like a beautiful album.
The movie suffers from some slow moving drags but the long clips are scored beautifully and create a unique style and feel.
The grittiness of the shooting does not go unnoticed. Maggie's unkept nails and the shots of Maggie on a swing spliced with Caroline hacking at frozen gross tomatoes are reminiscent of old French horror.
A great film, albeit not completely exciting.
Every long shot is like an art piece. Scene changes are like a beautiful album.
The movie suffers from some slow moving drags but the long clips are scored beautifully and create a unique style and feel.
The grittiness of the shooting does not go unnoticed. Maggie's unkept nails and the shots of Maggie on a swing spliced with Caroline hacking at frozen gross tomatoes are reminiscent of old French horror.
A great film, albeit not completely exciting.
Kingsman: The Secret Service
(2014)
The Comic Book Movie We Didn't Know We Needed
28 February 2015
In the age of Madmen fandom, James Bond and Dos Equis, Kingsman is the comic book movie we didn't know we were waiting for. This movie breeds grins start to finish. It's exciting, funny, clever, witty and fun as shite. It's a James Bond satire with comic book flair and an overwhelming amount of British hooliganism that made us love flicks like "Attack the Block." This movie is near perfect and I can't stress enough how much you'll love a mashing of spy movie, comic book movie, camp movie, Tarantinoishness, zombie movie (hello, church scene) and flat out action. I wish this came out 10 years ago... not bc I've waited to long, but so my crush on Eggsy would be more appropriate...
Pacific Rim
(2013)
Dear: Hollywood, Please Don't make Pacific Rim 2
5 November 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Pacific Rim is, in my humble opinion, one of the greatest pieces of cinema in recent years. I haven't yet gotten bored of it, and it's ratio of "times watched" to "times it made me cry" is on par with the ratio of me and Terminator 2 (1:1
all the time
every time). So, why wouldn't I want more, you ask? Here's why.
Pacific Rim stands for everything Hollywood used to be. In the recent years, movie trends have included things like world issues, sequel setups, and the dreaded remakes. Pacific Rim was amazing for not being "any of those things" but for simply being a beautiful robots vs. aliens smash hit.
It doesn't care about world issues.
Every movie has to care about world issues. Casino Royale and the following Daniel Craig bond movies all had something to do with "the world is running out of oil," even when that didn't lend to the plot at all. Even my beloved superhero movies have all made allusions to topical world political issues. There is something to be missed about not necessitating, say, a plot point where the Transformers technology is being weaponized for overseas wars. In Pacific Rim, the world all comes together to fight a common enemy. THAT is the world issue.
Tangent: That's part of why we all love zombie movies so much. It's humanity vs. evil. Period.
It doesn't take itself too seriously.
If you didn't like the "Cancelling the apocalypse" monologue from Stacker Pentecoast, then I don't even want to know you. Pacific Rim doesn't shy away from villainous ploys (the way Chuck says "Raleigh" is masterpiece cinema), monologues, and characters speaking to each other while facing opposite directions. It's a beautiful nod to the movies of old that has an almost self-aware campness. Pacific Rim knows it's robots vs. aliens and doesn't try to give a more serious spin on it, like say, ahem, TDK series.
It has a beginning, a middle, and an end.
Open: exposition. Alien monsters are coming from beneath the Ocean Floor. We found a way to handle them. Body: It's not working anymore. We have to find another way. We have one more shot at this with our giant robots. End: ***Spoiler*** WE DID IT!
Perfection. Pure perfection with nothing else needed. The movie didn't go all "The Hunger Games" and split stories up to make us see 4 movies. It started, and finished. Beautifully.
It isn't a remake or a sequel.
Pacific Rim is an original story. It's not the only robots vs. aliens story, but it also isn't a remake or a sequel. Since the start of downloading movies, the only things that have been super reliable at the box office are remakes and sequels playing on my generation's love for nostalgia, prompting us to still flock to the theatres. Original stories don't make it the way they used to, so Hollywood sucks stories dry until there is nothing left.
But Pacific Rim, which admittedly didn't have the box office reception in the West one would have hoped, created a new story starting and finishing it in one beautiful film.
To make a sequel to Pacific Rim is to take what I felt was a statement against the new Hollywood, and completely ignore that to stretch out a sequel. Pacific Rim is the robots vs. aliens story of my little movie geek heart's dreams. Finally, a throwback to the fun of the past when Godzilla was a new concept, and King Kong was a classic. To when remakes of The Shining and Carrie weren't necessary. To a time when if you wanted to see the Ninja Turtles in live action, you had to dust of a VHS or order Pizza Pizza. To a wonderful world where Transformers was a cartoon and didn't need A-list stars and young models in booty shorts to be marketable. To standalone sci fi like Blade Runner and Donnie Darko. To a time when "Her," "Rush" and "The Help" would have done better at the box office that TDKR, Divergent, and Anchorman: 2.
So that's why, Hollywood, I am asking, nay begging you, please don't make a Pacific Rim 2.
Pacific Rim stands for everything Hollywood used to be. In the recent years, movie trends have included things like world issues, sequel setups, and the dreaded remakes. Pacific Rim was amazing for not being "any of those things" but for simply being a beautiful robots vs. aliens smash hit.
It doesn't care about world issues.
Every movie has to care about world issues. Casino Royale and the following Daniel Craig bond movies all had something to do with "the world is running out of oil," even when that didn't lend to the plot at all. Even my beloved superhero movies have all made allusions to topical world political issues. There is something to be missed about not necessitating, say, a plot point where the Transformers technology is being weaponized for overseas wars. In Pacific Rim, the world all comes together to fight a common enemy. THAT is the world issue.
Tangent: That's part of why we all love zombie movies so much. It's humanity vs. evil. Period.
It doesn't take itself too seriously.
If you didn't like the "Cancelling the apocalypse" monologue from Stacker Pentecoast, then I don't even want to know you. Pacific Rim doesn't shy away from villainous ploys (the way Chuck says "Raleigh" is masterpiece cinema), monologues, and characters speaking to each other while facing opposite directions. It's a beautiful nod to the movies of old that has an almost self-aware campness. Pacific Rim knows it's robots vs. aliens and doesn't try to give a more serious spin on it, like say, ahem, TDK series.
It has a beginning, a middle, and an end.
Open: exposition. Alien monsters are coming from beneath the Ocean Floor. We found a way to handle them. Body: It's not working anymore. We have to find another way. We have one more shot at this with our giant robots. End: ***Spoiler*** WE DID IT!
Perfection. Pure perfection with nothing else needed. The movie didn't go all "The Hunger Games" and split stories up to make us see 4 movies. It started, and finished. Beautifully.
It isn't a remake or a sequel.
Pacific Rim is an original story. It's not the only robots vs. aliens story, but it also isn't a remake or a sequel. Since the start of downloading movies, the only things that have been super reliable at the box office are remakes and sequels playing on my generation's love for nostalgia, prompting us to still flock to the theatres. Original stories don't make it the way they used to, so Hollywood sucks stories dry until there is nothing left.
But Pacific Rim, which admittedly didn't have the box office reception in the West one would have hoped, created a new story starting and finishing it in one beautiful film.
To make a sequel to Pacific Rim is to take what I felt was a statement against the new Hollywood, and completely ignore that to stretch out a sequel. Pacific Rim is the robots vs. aliens story of my little movie geek heart's dreams. Finally, a throwback to the fun of the past when Godzilla was a new concept, and King Kong was a classic. To when remakes of The Shining and Carrie weren't necessary. To a time when if you wanted to see the Ninja Turtles in live action, you had to dust of a VHS or order Pizza Pizza. To a wonderful world where Transformers was a cartoon and didn't need A-list stars and young models in booty shorts to be marketable. To standalone sci fi like Blade Runner and Donnie Darko. To a time when "Her," "Rush" and "The Help" would have done better at the box office that TDKR, Divergent, and Anchorman: 2.
So that's why, Hollywood, I am asking, nay begging you, please don't make a Pacific Rim 2.
Big Game
(2014)
Fun Fun Fun!!
9 September 2014
Samuel L Jackson is the disgruntled President of the United States who is the target of an attack that leaves him crash landed in the forest of Finland aided only by Oskari, a Finish boy trying to prove himself as a hunter and as a man. WHAT MORE CAN YOU WANT?!
This is the best camp action movie I have seen in a long time (and I'm counting The Expendables). It's so much fun to watch. Onni Tommila as Oskari is so brilliant and hilarious, and stands up no problem to Sam Jackson.
Definitely what you're looking for on a Friday night in with a buddy and a beer.
This is the best camp action movie I have seen in a long time (and I'm counting The Expendables). It's so much fun to watch. Onni Tommila as Oskari is so brilliant and hilarious, and stands up no problem to Sam Jackson.
Definitely what you're looking for on a Friday night in with a buddy and a beer.
Pride
(I) (2014)
Just Plain Gorgeous
9 September 2014
I watched this entire film from start to finish with tears in my eyes and a smile plastered across my face.
It tells a beautiful story of a small group of Gay Rights activists who take action to support the striking miners whom they feel are feeling the same oppression that they had once and were currently feeling.
It is a gorgeous story of humanity. The film, in my opinion, perfectly captures the homophobia, bigotry, ignorance and curiosity that the LGBT community deals with showing the spectrum of opinions using the right amount of humour. While I can't speak to the accuracy of the time, I can see my own experiences with LGBT friends of mine and curious people painted across the screen.
This is a must see movie that will show how hate can harm and will also reinforce your faith in humanity.
The actors' performances were all amazing and flawless, from tears to dance sequences.
It tells a beautiful story of a small group of Gay Rights activists who take action to support the striking miners whom they feel are feeling the same oppression that they had once and were currently feeling.
It is a gorgeous story of humanity. The film, in my opinion, perfectly captures the homophobia, bigotry, ignorance and curiosity that the LGBT community deals with showing the spectrum of opinions using the right amount of humour. While I can't speak to the accuracy of the time, I can see my own experiences with LGBT friends of mine and curious people painted across the screen.
This is a must see movie that will show how hate can harm and will also reinforce your faith in humanity.
The actors' performances were all amazing and flawless, from tears to dance sequences.
Nightcrawler
(2014)
Jake G's Blinks in Prisoners are Only Rivaled by the Weaslely Grin In Nightcrawler
9 September 2014
This movie was both fun and terrifying. Jake Gyllenhaal's performance as Lou Bloom will certainly frighten you. He is brilliant when paired with the amazing monologue style rants written for him.
Lou Bloom is a driven man reminiscent of a sociopath who finds he has a talent as "nightcrawling" in that he takes videos of true crimes as they are happening to be broadcast on the news. His motivation and seeming lack of empathy allow him to break through and take the controversial images, and sell them with a strong aptitude for negotiation.
As a character, he grows more and more "motivated" and seems to learn his business in such a way to bring him amazing success, but to the determinant, perhaps, of his assistant and the victims of these crimes.
The writer/ director of this movie (making his directorial debut) certainly understands fear and comedy. The simplest scene was made into a laugh by the angles and cuts.
It's funny, and enjoyable, but still terrifying enough to feel like a real horror thriller.
Lou Bloom is a driven man reminiscent of a sociopath who finds he has a talent as "nightcrawling" in that he takes videos of true crimes as they are happening to be broadcast on the news. His motivation and seeming lack of empathy allow him to break through and take the controversial images, and sell them with a strong aptitude for negotiation.
As a character, he grows more and more "motivated" and seems to learn his business in such a way to bring him amazing success, but to the determinant, perhaps, of his assistant and the victims of these crimes.
The writer/ director of this movie (making his directorial debut) certainly understands fear and comedy. The simplest scene was made into a laugh by the angles and cuts.
It's funny, and enjoyable, but still terrifying enough to feel like a real horror thriller.
Tusk
(I) (2014)
Tuhhherrrrifying
9 September 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Brilliant.
This movie was "about" a young pod-cast host who gets kidnapped while visiting Manitoba, Canada to do an interview, and is tormented and tortured by a man who wants to turn him into a Walrus he credits with saving his life.
But this movie is about America's perception of Canada, a satirical perception Canadians have of Canada, and a hilarious bringing to life of an idea hashed out on a pod-cast with Kevin Smith.
I laughed start to finish. The comedy, as you can expect, is amazing. If you're Canadian, even more so (the subtle Canadian jokes were unreal). But at the same time, the movie is terrifying bordering on disturbing. And even in the terrifying scenes, there is some subtlety in them that is hilarious.
So brilliant. So well done. So fun!
This movie was "about" a young pod-cast host who gets kidnapped while visiting Manitoba, Canada to do an interview, and is tormented and tortured by a man who wants to turn him into a Walrus he credits with saving his life.
But this movie is about America's perception of Canada, a satirical perception Canadians have of Canada, and a hilarious bringing to life of an idea hashed out on a pod-cast with Kevin Smith.
I laughed start to finish. The comedy, as you can expect, is amazing. If you're Canadian, even more so (the subtle Canadian jokes were unreal). But at the same time, the movie is terrifying bordering on disturbing. And even in the terrifying scenes, there is some subtlety in them that is hilarious.
So brilliant. So well done. So fun!
Safety Not Guaranteed
(2012)
A look at faith in people and the world
5 August 2014
SNG takes the viewer on a quick vacation from work reality literally with the characters, and figuratively... with the characters. It seems to almost accidentally force the viewer to both have and question faith in people and the supernatural. Each rising action has us re-question the plausibility of whether there is actually a time machine. It's a fun look at the ordinary that allows us to see through the view of the world we might have lost with age. A fun comedy that is worth enjoying.
It all starts with a group of reporters (a reporter and his interns) taking a "business trip" to nowhere to explore a story of a man who believes he can travel through time and is seeking a partner. The film explores a jaded male character who takes a vacation back to his old life that he starts to romanticize via his old girlfriend. It's everything he should have expected, but when he gets it wrong, he is both upset and excited at his new future. All of this is centered around the exploration of a man that these reported believe is crazy, but their faith is slowly rattled when it seems like he might not be as crazy as they all thought. This is ultimately romanticized by our leading lady who is the first to start to have faith. The characters show steady growth and the viewer is somewhat shaken to believe a little more in the miraculous.
It all starts with a group of reporters (a reporter and his interns) taking a "business trip" to nowhere to explore a story of a man who believes he can travel through time and is seeking a partner. The film explores a jaded male character who takes a vacation back to his old life that he starts to romanticize via his old girlfriend. It's everything he should have expected, but when he gets it wrong, he is both upset and excited at his new future. All of this is centered around the exploration of a man that these reported believe is crazy, but their faith is slowly rattled when it seems like he might not be as crazy as they all thought. This is ultimately romanticized by our leading lady who is the first to start to have faith. The characters show steady growth and the viewer is somewhat shaken to believe a little more in the miraculous.
The Wolf of Wall Street
(2013)
A Brilliant Mashing of Boiler Room in the Style of Goodfellas
27 December 2013
Here, I thought the world would never see another gangster movie like Goodfellas, but I was wrong. Terence Winter and Martin Scorsese come together to give us a Wall Street gangster who is aware of the viewer in his narration, similar to to our old friend, Henry Hill.
The 3 hour movie is a gratuitous romp of cash, drugs, sex and late 80s rock and roll. The viewer gets to jump into Jordan's shoes and root for him while questioning our loyalty to him when meeting the FBI, his wives, children, associates and clients.
The film is criticized for glamorizing the drugged out womanizing thieving lifestyle of Balfort, but tgis criticism neglects to notice the plot roller coaster which **mild spoiler** ultimately wraps up in the same way Henry Hill's does.
Sure, a 75 year old academy member and a screenwriter yelled "shame on you!" to Marty and Leo at the premiere, but at the screening of Casino, people yelled "Crap!" and "pornography! " at the screen.
The 3 hour movie is a gratuitous romp of cash, drugs, sex and late 80s rock and roll. The viewer gets to jump into Jordan's shoes and root for him while questioning our loyalty to him when meeting the FBI, his wives, children, associates and clients.
The film is criticized for glamorizing the drugged out womanizing thieving lifestyle of Balfort, but tgis criticism neglects to notice the plot roller coaster which **mild spoiler** ultimately wraps up in the same way Henry Hill's does.
Sure, a 75 year old academy member and a screenwriter yelled "shame on you!" to Marty and Leo at the premiere, but at the screening of Casino, people yelled "Crap!" and "pornography! " at the screen.
True Blood
(2008–2014)
Dear HBO: Please Cancel TrueBlood
28 July 2013
Warning: Spoilers
As many of you know, I am ends oriented and committed. At season 6 of this series, I am so invested in these unlikeable and unrelatable characters that I just can't stop watching. But it's literally gotten to a point that I can't even hate-watch it anymore. I just hate myself. And I kindly ask you to cancel the show so that I can begin reclaiming my dignity and my life. I mean, sexy slutty teenage quadruplets? Come ON! It's getting so bad that I actually thought Jason's weird homoerotic shaving scene was a brilliant device with literary merit and hardly noticed that it was just a gross list of bad penis entendre. Here's why you need to stop.
The Stakes Literally Can't Get Any Higher
The show started in an unassuming universe. A small town with a mindreader and some vampires crawling out of the shadows. It was only natural that the universe would progress and expand as seasons went on to keep the story interesting and rolling. But I think we can all admit that it's peaked. After the vampire Sheriff became a member of a vampire monarchy, we had issues, but then that became an entire vampire government, police force, prison, 'authority.' I was still on board at the 'Authority' part, despite rolling my eyes at every single reference to it. But now there is a vampire religion and a vampire supreme being. You have a vampire prophet and literal vampire god running around. That's literally the peak. That's it. You literally cannot expand farther than that and I'd be willing to defend that in a room of philosophy PhDs.
There are No Species of Males Left to Fall in Love With Sookie
Fine, the shapeshifter and the vampire both fell for her. It made for an interesting story. But then there was the other vampire. And the werewolf. The Fairies and now a FAIRY VAMPIRE. Her gap tooth isn't THAT charming.
You Can't Keep Going Back and Changing Things Anymore. The 'Finale' Already Happened
As several of us movie fans know, and anyone who paid attention in Scream 3, trilogy rules (and finale rules) dictate that at the end, we learn something that changes the whole story from the beginning and all bets are off. This has happened like a whole bunch of times. We already learned that Bill was 'lying' from the get-go and that the whole love story might have been a fraud. We already learned that Sookie's parents were actually killed by vampires. We already learned about Eric's maker, sister, and thus non-evil side. Now we know about Sookie's grandfather, Warlow, and what he means as connected to the authority and vampire religion, and then that Warlow might not even be evil, but be a saviour what ELSE IS THERE? I wanted to say that "unless you go back to the conception of the earth, you literally can't go any farther back," and the you DID. You went back to 3500 BC. Freakin' Cave-Fairies. There just can't possibly be anything else to uncover.
No One Else Can End Up or Turn Out Evil
I'd rather not bother. After Alcide turned out to be a weird animal, and his girlfriend said "I'm your number one bitch," I just didn't even care who else was "bad" anymore.
It's Happened Already
Virgins have been turned. Jason's switched teams. Sookie's been in her underwear. Sara's changed from religious to slutty, unexpected characters get hooked on V... The episode filling plot points have run drier than Sam's facial expressions.
So I'm asking you, HBO, nay BEGGING YOU. Set me free from this torture. I can no longer handle the shame or Bill's fitted sweaters. Please cancel TrueBlood.
The Stakes Literally Can't Get Any Higher
The show started in an unassuming universe. A small town with a mindreader and some vampires crawling out of the shadows. It was only natural that the universe would progress and expand as seasons went on to keep the story interesting and rolling. But I think we can all admit that it's peaked. After the vampire Sheriff became a member of a vampire monarchy, we had issues, but then that became an entire vampire government, police force, prison, 'authority.' I was still on board at the 'Authority' part, despite rolling my eyes at every single reference to it. But now there is a vampire religion and a vampire supreme being. You have a vampire prophet and literal vampire god running around. That's literally the peak. That's it. You literally cannot expand farther than that and I'd be willing to defend that in a room of philosophy PhDs.
There are No Species of Males Left to Fall in Love With Sookie
Fine, the shapeshifter and the vampire both fell for her. It made for an interesting story. But then there was the other vampire. And the werewolf. The Fairies and now a FAIRY VAMPIRE. Her gap tooth isn't THAT charming.
You Can't Keep Going Back and Changing Things Anymore. The 'Finale' Already Happened
As several of us movie fans know, and anyone who paid attention in Scream 3, trilogy rules (and finale rules) dictate that at the end, we learn something that changes the whole story from the beginning and all bets are off. This has happened like a whole bunch of times. We already learned that Bill was 'lying' from the get-go and that the whole love story might have been a fraud. We already learned that Sookie's parents were actually killed by vampires. We already learned about Eric's maker, sister, and thus non-evil side. Now we know about Sookie's grandfather, Warlow, and what he means as connected to the authority and vampire religion, and then that Warlow might not even be evil, but be a saviour what ELSE IS THERE? I wanted to say that "unless you go back to the conception of the earth, you literally can't go any farther back," and the you DID. You went back to 3500 BC. Freakin' Cave-Fairies. There just can't possibly be anything else to uncover.
No One Else Can End Up or Turn Out Evil
I'd rather not bother. After Alcide turned out to be a weird animal, and his girlfriend said "I'm your number one bitch," I just didn't even care who else was "bad" anymore.
It's Happened Already
Virgins have been turned. Jason's switched teams. Sookie's been in her underwear. Sara's changed from religious to slutty, unexpected characters get hooked on V... The episode filling plot points have run drier than Sam's facial expressions.
So I'm asking you, HBO, nay BEGGING YOU. Set me free from this torture. I can no longer handle the shame or Bill's fitted sweaters. Please cancel TrueBlood.
Argo
(2012)
Suspenseful and Satisfying
17 October 2012
An unbelievable look at a CIA operation by an unsung hero. While I did not myself research the history of this operation, I have put my faith in writers, and have to say, it's an amazing story. Many covert operations are ignored, and Argo gives the viewers a unique opportunity to see the inner workings of such an operation. As a movie, it was brilliant. The acting and visuals were unbelievable, and the straight building of suspense was out of control. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. There was just the right amount of humour, although, I wouldn't have minded a few more moments with our 'Hollywood' members.
The shocking moments and visuals were breathtaking, and amazingly, were copied directly from historical pictures (as shown) which I think was so creative and so striking. It really made the story 'real' and not just 'inspired by true events' like the Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Definitely stay after the credits.
The shocking moments and visuals were breathtaking, and amazingly, were copied directly from historical pictures (as shown) which I think was so creative and so striking. It really made the story 'real' and not just 'inspired by true events' like the Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Definitely stay after the credits.
Jeff, Who Lives at Home
(2011)
So
basically
. They made a movie about a guy who took "Signs" seriously.
19 June 2012
There's just something that I don't find appealing about these "film festival" moves that take comedic actors and put them into situations of having real life person problems. While I shouldn't complain that there is a genre of realism that doesn't wrap up in a nice bow like your average romantic comedy, I still can't be taken by a mundane movie that shows your average person with an average life problem. Jeff's character probably mirrors someone that everyone knows, and Pat appears to be the average middle class man with an imperfect marriage and a short sighted financial view
again
probably someone we all know. The most interesting character is played by Susan Sarandon (Sharon), being a widow coaxed into new experiences in her later years, after feeling regret about how her life turned out. The odds are, when I reach that age, I will know someone exactly like her as well. The story is boring, the filming isn't bad, and the characters, while believable and real, aren't anything special.
If it comes up on your Netflix or TMN, check it out for the sake of feeling cultured, and better yet, to see a new Porsche wrap around a tree. Other than that, I'd say skip it.
If it comes up on your Netflix or TMN, check it out for the sake of feeling cultured, and better yet, to see a new Porsche wrap around a tree. Other than that, I'd say skip it.
Prometheus
(I) (2012)
Average movie going audience, are you seeing this?
19 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Because, seriously, there is a lot that I am sure was missed. Tons of amazing movies are bold enough to ask questions, and leave them unanswered, tantalizing the viewer who walks away satisfied, despite being inquisitive. Prometheus is bold enough to not only ask the big questions, but also to answer them, begging the real question: was it too ambitious to answer the great questions of the Universe in 123 minutes? If one is willing to do some reading before and after, and to critically analyze the story beyond the epic, I am certain there will be a feeling of satisfaction, and the itch to have your movie geek friends HURRY UP AND GO SEE IT so that a discussion can be had. Aside from that, it was visually stunning, with a solid amount of suspense, and Elizabeth Shaw proves almost as likable Ripley. Michael Fassbender does an excellent job of becoming "David" and one has to enjoy the first scene of the movie, giving yet another ambitious answer to the question "what might a droid do if he was alone for 2 years?" (I'd imagine that he would just sit and stare). Of course, one wants to ask "why would they spend billions of dollars and send sassy scientists uninterested in the work on this mission?" and the simple answer is
entertainment. No one wants to watch personality-less characters, just like no one wants to watch a team scan a planet for 18 hours while trying to find the pyramid. It's just better to watch this way. Obvious "twists" are contrasted against ambitious answers, making for a thought provoking epic, up to the nose with science fiction action (even mention of Terraforming!). A definite must-see, despite what some brilliant tweets will tell you.
***SPOILERS BELOW***
Some food for thought: 1) Notice the timing of the archaeological findings. It appears that for each great ancient civilization, there has been allusion to a visitor or prophet giving the secrets of the universe, a creator, and where to 'meet up.' It seems that about 2000 years ago, after sending their last prophet, the Engineers lost faith in humanity and decided to use the genetic goo to wipe out their creation. 2000 years ago... about the time Jesus might have "visited" the Earth and been crucified by humanity. 2) Themes of creation and self sacrifice are evident throughout the film. The first scene shows an Engineer self sacrificing in order to create humanity. Contrasted with a) Peter Weyland refusing to accept death and trying to stay alive (note Meredith's line about the King's duty to die) b) Shaw's unwillingness to house the alien 'fetus' as she would likely not survive, opposite a) the pilots crashing their ship into the "goo" ship in order to prevent the massacre on Earth and b) Holloway asking for Meredith to kill him so he wouldn't infect or harm any others on the ship. 3) Images of "Prometheus are everywhere." Prometheus was a Titan in Greek mythology who built man out of clay (creator of life). He later, gave the humans fire, and was punished by Zeus, being condemned to perpetually have his liver ripped out of his abdomen by a bird, only to grow back. Essentially, it seems like the Engineers created man kind, but gave them too much power, or maybe gave the Aliens too much power, which lead to their eventual demise. The Aliens burst from the abdomen, much like the pain of Prometheus, Shaw, the Aliens, and maybe even Jesus at his crucifixion. Prometheus has long been a symbol for the improvement of human life resulting in tragedy. 4) Of course, the goo is referred to as a "weapon of mass destruction" and it is noted that the Engineers weren't "stupid enough" to build it on their own turf. We really do live in an age where 'world issues' are ultimately important (even weighed against the meaning of life).
If you were wondering: 1) David is not going back and forth from evil to good, he is under the control of Weyland and thus acting for him, and sometimes not, and Weyland has conflicting wants. That's why David was testing the goo out on Holloway, and being sinister toward Shaw, despite 'helping her' in other ways 2) The goo appears to be acting in different ways, maybe mirroring the host, or maybe being refined. It is first used to break down genetic material to create humanity, and later to create the famous "Alien." In Alien, the species is referred to as the perfect being, so maybe we are to imagine that the Engineers had perfected their craft after creating humanity. It then seems that the goo has gone out of control, killing even them, as they stockpile it to bring to Earth.
***SPOILERS BELOW***
Some food for thought: 1) Notice the timing of the archaeological findings. It appears that for each great ancient civilization, there has been allusion to a visitor or prophet giving the secrets of the universe, a creator, and where to 'meet up.' It seems that about 2000 years ago, after sending their last prophet, the Engineers lost faith in humanity and decided to use the genetic goo to wipe out their creation. 2000 years ago... about the time Jesus might have "visited" the Earth and been crucified by humanity. 2) Themes of creation and self sacrifice are evident throughout the film. The first scene shows an Engineer self sacrificing in order to create humanity. Contrasted with a) Peter Weyland refusing to accept death and trying to stay alive (note Meredith's line about the King's duty to die) b) Shaw's unwillingness to house the alien 'fetus' as she would likely not survive, opposite a) the pilots crashing their ship into the "goo" ship in order to prevent the massacre on Earth and b) Holloway asking for Meredith to kill him so he wouldn't infect or harm any others on the ship. 3) Images of "Prometheus are everywhere." Prometheus was a Titan in Greek mythology who built man out of clay (creator of life). He later, gave the humans fire, and was punished by Zeus, being condemned to perpetually have his liver ripped out of his abdomen by a bird, only to grow back. Essentially, it seems like the Engineers created man kind, but gave them too much power, or maybe gave the Aliens too much power, which lead to their eventual demise. The Aliens burst from the abdomen, much like the pain of Prometheus, Shaw, the Aliens, and maybe even Jesus at his crucifixion. Prometheus has long been a symbol for the improvement of human life resulting in tragedy. 4) Of course, the goo is referred to as a "weapon of mass destruction" and it is noted that the Engineers weren't "stupid enough" to build it on their own turf. We really do live in an age where 'world issues' are ultimately important (even weighed against the meaning of life).
If you were wondering: 1) David is not going back and forth from evil to good, he is under the control of Weyland and thus acting for him, and sometimes not, and Weyland has conflicting wants. That's why David was testing the goo out on Holloway, and being sinister toward Shaw, despite 'helping her' in other ways 2) The goo appears to be acting in different ways, maybe mirroring the host, or maybe being refined. It is first used to break down genetic material to create humanity, and later to create the famous "Alien." In Alien, the species is referred to as the perfect being, so maybe we are to imagine that the Engineers had perfected their craft after creating humanity. It then seems that the goo has gone out of control, killing even them, as they stockpile it to bring to Earth.
House of Lies
(2012–2016)
Like Watching an auto tuned song
27 March 2012
I think that the concept behind this show was to give them the old Razzle Dazzle. Every moment raises your heat rate, rushes your blood, And holds your eyes wide open. The up looking angles, the slow motion walking timed to high bass tracks, boobs, the cross marital and sexuality banging, fast cars and D list stars... The cast Is even an averagely funny, pseudo attractive bunch, including an Internet star and an Oscar winner. That said, I have absolutely no idea what this show is about. I think we are just being beaded and feathered. I think the only target audience must be the consultants of the world who want to be motivated back into feelings of bad-assery, but we know that none of them have time for TV, and would be as insulted as I was by the explanation of the word "Deck." I just hope that Kristen Bell's strong female character isn't immediately written into a delicate romantic looking for a way to juggle work and motherhood. Oh wait...
10 points for accidentally referencing Pulp Fiction by noting the appropriateness of foot massages amongst married people. And 10 points to anyone who noticed that the owner of the huskies was Jerry's building repair man in Seinfeld.
I wonder if the show has a Consultant consultant... ? Sha wing.
My opinion? NEXT!
10 points for accidentally referencing Pulp Fiction by noting the appropriateness of foot massages amongst married people. And 10 points to anyone who noticed that the owner of the huskies was Jerry's building repair man in Seinfeld.
I wonder if the show has a Consultant consultant... ? Sha wing.
My opinion? NEXT!
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