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Poordeadking
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The Rebound (2009)
A sick and horrible movie
Please note: I use the term 'producers' with reference to the entire band of freaks who produced this film, rather than to those officially credited as 'Producers'.
Some IMDb members have speculated that The Rebound might be closely based upon director Bart Freundlich's own life and experience, so in this respect the film might make some sense as a woefully-executed contrarian vanity piece – but if that IS the case, we must unfortunately assume that Mr Freundlich is a creepy idiot.
I could go on for hours about this horrendously twisted film, but I'm getting angry just writing about it, so I'll keep it fairly brief.
First, let it be known that I'm no prude. I'm even a fan of smut and toilet humour if it's well-executed and genre-defined. But for such wildly inappropriate muck to masquerade as a romantic comedy is just terrible.
The idiot producers of The Rebound clearly thought it would be OK to have the kids in the film spout pure filth all the time. Even when they're not spewing profanities or casually conversing with adults about sex, they're standing around while everyone else does. That's just wrong. It's not funny, in fact it's pretty creepy.
And there seems to be a gratuitous over-abundance of this kind of stuff. The family in The Rebound- CZJ and her horrible children - seem to be very unlucky when it comes to vagabonds exposing themselves to the kids on the streets of New York, in fact it happens twice in the film. Why is this? What made the producers think this is funny?
There is no character development in The Rebound, in fact there are no actual characters, just people that stuff happens to. The dialogue is stilted and vacuous and irritating and the plot is so wildly unbelievable that it's barely worth mentioning. What sort of mother lets the guy from the coffee shop - whom she's just met - babysit her kids?
What topped the madness off for me was the film's insane ending, where the main character Aram Finkelstein - on his trip round the world after vainly attempting to court Catherine Zeta Jones and her kids - passes a young Bangladeshi boy on the steps of some religious temple and they exchange a furtive, coy little glance. I thought, 'Surely this guy isn't about to start wooing the kid? Surely not?' But sure as hell, after Aram's soul-searching period, he returns home to introduce the kid as his new son, gushing: "We met in Bangladesh and just fell in love with each other". Seriously - I kid you not.
You fell in love with a little boy? And then what, you just decided he was your son? What made the people behind The Rebound think this is acceptable, or believable?
But do the producers even care that The Rebound makes no sense? Do they care that it's so artless and stupid and lacking in any redeeming qualities? I'm actually beginning to think this film is just some kind of cultish indoctrination piece with an ulterior motive. That's the only explanation I can think of for such a smutty and morally indigent piece of trash.
I'd encourage people to see this film, if only for the opportunity to witness Hollywood at its absolute lowest ebb. This film is stupid and sick.
Transformers (2007)
Studio Shills
This is a terrible film. I can't see how any right-thinking person could say otherwise. It's insultingly lame and convoluted. I wish I had the energy to point out all of its laughable flaws but I don't.
And besides, almost every other user comment lists them already.
My main reason for posting is to lower the average rating, which has clearly been unfairly manipulated by studio shills.
A couple of questions 'cause I need to write 10 lines apparently:
Why are the autobots such pussies?
What made the studio bosses think we want to watch the autobots acting like idiots and getting their asses kicked? Seriously, I'd love to hear their reasoning on this.
What happened to the Australian chick and her 'token' friend?
How does IMDb choose its lead comment?
Why is the average rating for this film not lower, considering everyone clearly hates it?