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Reviews
Moulin Rouge! (2001)
Baz' masturbatory piece of fluff.
The cinematography was spotless, and the visuals, although quick and headache inducing, were fabulous. But good FX do not a good movie make.
Moulin Rouge is eye candy with no substance other than force fed cornball MTV fluff, with inane dialogue, dreadful performances (only John Leguizamo stands above the material), and is visual proof that Baz Luhrmann has his head in a fluffy fantasy world where good writing falters in the face of visual aesthetics.
But, I enjoyed parts of the film. Once again, the visuals were pleasing, if a little pretentious. I also loved John Leguizamo as the little guy, proving he has what it takes to be a serious actor amidst shit fests like The Pest. But Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor were totally, off the wall awful. Kidman was great to look at, but let's face it folks, she couldn't act her way out of a wet paper bag. McGregor is a talented actor, and has the ability to choose interesting roles. He was out of his league here.
The predictable script doesn't help matters. We know Kidman is doomed. Cough, gag. For a film that nearly modernizes 19th and early 20th century Paris, it makes you wonder why none of the clueless characters could have picked up on her ailing. I mean, they did somehow manage to get high tech surround sound in the theatres and through the music... Why not modern medicine? That's right - then she would have lived and the story wouldn't have the tug at the heart strings ending. Yawn.
I suppose Moulin Rouge is what it is. I imagine it'll be Baz Luhrmann's one and only swan song in the field of entertainment, and I imagine every 15 year old girl with an itch for schmaltzy sap fests will purchase the extravagant DVD... But, I suppose I'll just forget the film, as should any intelligent movie goer.
The Jamie Kennedy Experiment (2002)
Absolutely on the floor hilarious!
You're not on Candid Camera here. Although the premise is the same, Kennedy's show differs as we get to see him perform every single practical joke, so there's an added element of getting used to one single person rather than random people. Kennedy himself is hilarious, and I can only imagine what level they take his ridiculous disguises and alter egos to.
Highlights: Seeing thousands of people cheering for the rock band Creed, only to see Jamie Kennedy as a folk singer named Chris Kreed. Judge Leighland. The Bob Saget tour. The straying dating show.
It has potential to be a long lasting show. I just hope it builds an audience and runs for a few years.
The Fast and the Furious (2001)
Vin Diesel morphs into Jack Black!
I am getting sick of looking at Jack Black. A few years back, nobody knew who he was, and he was cool. Now it's cool to like Jack Black. He's the main thing. Vin Diesel, too, is going through the exact same motions.
Anyway, the movie sucked and sucked hard. So let me get this straight - grease monkeys, that's Vin and his gang, work for meager wages in a garage and can still afford these high-powered racing cars, which I presume cost upwards of 50 to 100 grand, only to be put to use grinding the gears and blowing the motors? Heck, even when these fast cars are used for the highjackings, the only thing they take is petty merchandise like DVD players and stereos! Talk about a non-profit scheme, Vin.
Bland, un-interesting, and Swayze and Reeves did it years ago under the title 'Point Break'... Avoid this utter garbage like the plague!
Saturday Night Live (1975)
Please make it stop!
I've never been a fan of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, to tell the truth, but every now and then I would catch a small portion of it whilst someone else was watching it. There have been some decent moments - Chris Farley's boistrous mannerisms will always be a highlight, and Norm Macdonald's self-depricating humor during the weekend update is classic, and he does the best Slim Pickens impersonation ever!
I can't really remember anything before that, so I won't comment on it, but this new stuff is absolutely dull. Weekend Update has went from dry, sarcastic humor, to lame, unfunny jokes, with Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon laughing at eachother's puns and backing eachother up. Comedy mistake. You do NOT laugh at your own jokes, lest you look like you're begging for attention. Will Ferrel is a funny guy... But his shtick is getting tired. The same goes with Chris Kattan. Y'know, just once I'd like to see these two put in a serious movie. I think they may be able to do something with the material.
Anyway, I've went off on a tangent. SNL makes the crude mistake of playing a joke out until the viewer is in pain. One such skit that had promise but went on forever was the bit where Will Ferrel masters the Yoga technique and is able to orally please himself. The stunned reactions on his fellow classmates is priceless, and should have been the end of the gag. But no, they made him pop up from doing his deed, say something, and continue. Wash. Rinse, Repeat. Ad nauseum.
It's time for Lorne Michaels to hang up this old ratty heap and put us out of our collective miseries. This show is not funny. At least not now.
The Karate Kid Part III (1989)
Astonishingly bad!
Alright, so we've got a multi-billionaire who can leave his business practices and grand jury indictments at will in order to exact revenge on an undeserving kid... Right.
The original Karate Kid had heart and brains. The sequel was basically a rehash, but with a few wise words of wisdom and an exciting climax. This one is, well, words cannot describe how awful it really is.
I like looking back on this and thinking how funny it is that Ralph Macchio was not only a spell older than the nemesis, Mike Barnes, but was actually a year older than Terry Silver, the evil toxic waste dude who trained him!
I think I'll download Vegas Video and redub this, ala Steve Oedekerk style - it's deserving of that fate!
Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)
A misunderstood classic!
Steve Oedekerk is a genius, and it is a shame his movie got such a critical lambasting upon its release - it definitely didn't deserve it.
Kung Pow is hilarious, from the beginning to end, with its many absurdities, including the baby rolling down the hill, all the way to the intentionally awful dubbing. Oedekerk has spliced himself into an old Martial Arts film and interacts with the existing characters, altering dialogue and voices all the while.
The film parodies such things as The Lion King and Star Wars with a knowing wink, and the background, off the wall dialogue is freaking hilarious - I constantly find myself quoting Master Betty and the 'Taco Bell' bit.
Great stuff. Hope to see more Oedekerk madness in the future! Bring on Kung Pow 2!