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Shark Swarm (2008 TV Movie)
1/10
I wasted 3 hours of my life tonight
25 May 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I knew this was going to be a bomb when the first shark attack reminded me of a video game from a few generations back it was so completely phony. Granted it was made for TV so it couldn't be as realistic as "Jaws", but my goodness this is now on my top 10 for worst movies I have ever seen.

The basic premise, as usual, is the bad guy, Armand Assante wants to build a multi-million dollar condominium complex in this little town on the California coast. Most of the residents are all for the idea because the "fishing has dried up" and the economy is in the toilet. Only Daniel and his family are holding out.

Apparently The Bad Guy has deliberately contaminated the water to destroy the fishing in the hopes that everybody in the town will wish to sell to him (ho-hum). Unfortunately there seems to be a nasty side effect of this poisonous water: The sharks get bigger, meaner and start bonding together! OMG! Can you guess how The Bad Guy dies at the end?? The scenes were so disjointed; one minute it's sunrise but in the next scene it's still dinnertime. These people all knew about the shark attacks; well maybe most don't because nobody I saw eaten was ever reported missing including a daycare worker and yet THEY STILL GO IN THE WATER! We have people swimming, scuba diving, surfboarding, having a water Baptism, you name it, they were doing it the water. And while it appeared to be cold enough that some were wearing sweaters and wetsuits & you could see their breath, people right up the beach were in bathing suits and splashing in the surf. People are being eaten and murdered and some of the characters start making out after a near death experience.

Have you figured out yet that this is a stinker of a movie? Who makes these things? Worse yet, who approves these movies? A Junior High kid who has played Donkey Kong a few too many times? If you're desperate to see people eaten by sharks go watch Jaws (the original) and don't waste 3 hours of your precious life on this drivel. The actors and actresses should not have even got paid for this movie, they should be sending US checks for watching it.
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God Bless the Child (1988 TV Movie)
9/10
Heartbreaking movie
29 January 2008
Warning: Spoilers
When I saw this movie I had a 3 year old and a 1 year old and my husband had just had a heart attack. This movie struck home for me. It made me realize that, for a large part of our population, homelessness is just a paycheck away.

The part where Mare Winningham has to sleep on a filthy bed at the shelter and lets her child sleep on top of her just to keep her as protected as possible was so sad. Mare is such an incredible actress, I can't figure out why she is not used more often. She brought such believability to this film.

The ending was so sad to me as a new mother that I couldn't stop crying. Hours later, I was still crying. And for so many, this is real, not just a movie which makes it even more sad.
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A Family Lost (2007 TV Movie)
1/10
Can they make a worse movie than this?
28 January 2008
Nothing else was on so I figured I would watch this Lifetime movie. What a stinker. The acting was horrible, especially the girl who plays 13 year Claire. One minute she's crying over some trauma but as the camera pans away from her face you can see her smiling....

I figured out the plot 10 minutes into the movie which should have been my clue to turn it off but it was like watching a train wreck in slow motion - I just couldn't turn away from the carnage.

The scenes were also phony especially the plane crash scene. I would love to know what the budget was on this movie because it must have been made on a shoestring. Terrible acting, stupid, predictable plot. Do not waste 2 hours of your life on this drivel.
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Grayeagle (1977)
2/10
Tripe, pure tripe
2 January 2008
I love Westerns but this one had me reaching for the remote control. The story was nice but the actors were just going through the motions, Ben Johnson kept ordering his Indian friend around like he was his own personal servant and there was some totally useless scenes that were thrown in for no purpose that I can see.

It's your usual Western with a "Woman Kidnapped by Indian" theme. In this case Lana Wood is kidnapped by an Apache and her father and his Indian friend spend most of the movie looking for her. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

It's funny when you look back at older Westerns and see the leading lady with full make-up, especially when she's wearing too much blush and her hair always looks perfect no matter how far & long she has traveled by horseback as a captive.

The only thing that made this worthwhile, in my opinion, was the love story aspect, otherwise don't waste your time. Watch Quigley Down Under if you want a great Western.
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A Marriage of Convenience (1998 TV Movie)
8/10
Predictable but sweet
2 November 2007
This was a very sweet, romantic movie but oh so predictable. A successful woman Chris, (Jane Seymour) raises her nephew after the untimely death of her pregnant sister Shelly. The father of the child is unknown. Years later Chris finds a letter written by Shelly and she mails it to the father, Mason, never expecting what would happen next. A custody battle ensues and the child, who is now about 8 or so suggests to the judge that the best way to settle this dispute is to have Mom and "Dad" marry.

Seymour and James Brolin were very good in their roles and it was a refreshing change from most of the drivel out there in TV land where graphic images of murdered & autopsied bodies seems to be the newest thing.

If you like romance novels you will definitely enjoy this movie. If you're a guy you will most likely hate it. I like feel good movies and this one did that for me.
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Flightplan (2005)
1/10
Worst suspense movie I ever saw
24 July 2007
Warning: Spoilers
This movie started out with a good premise. But unfortunately it rapidly disinagrated and the longer you watch, the more ridiculous the whole plot is.

SPOILER!!!!!

We are supposed to believe that an air marshall plots this whole thing, including killing Kyle's husband just to plant explosives in the casket so he can extort millions of dollars. He was taking a pretty big risk that (1) Nobody on that entire plane saw the kid (2) Kyle would fall asleep for 3 hours (3) That she would move to the back of the plane.

And what was the point of kidnapping Julia in the first place? The whole plot was so ludicrous and unbelievable. Carson has to be one of the dumbest criminals since Dog Day Afternoon.

What a waste of 2 hours.
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