Reviews

This is not a great movie. But it is way better than the sum of collective parts. Dark comedies do not rest on a moral code or character growth as much as they do the darkness of the human condition. Max lives and dies in darkness and the sole light is the kid's smiles. The conflicting instructions to act both down right wrong versus taking a good path to do right are all to common in reality. The ending of the movie is bright but not by the actions of the protagonist. So solid movie done on a sparse script and budget. I love thought provoking and clean low budget movies. Seven stars well earned here.

Asteroid City has many story lines. And many ways to follow the story and the characters. I love movies where there are layers and ways to interpret the happenings and characters motivations. Ultimately though we have several characters discovering themselves, learning or accepting at least parts of their increasingly absurd realities, and then finding ways to go forward from there as better people. Asteroid City reminds us that insane crazy world may be closer than we would like and maybe that earns it low scores from some. But watching the characters learn and overcome in the many story lines we have makes it a winner in my book.

Cold Blood has no plot. There is a story line, but it is impossibly improbable that it could play out as presented. For there to actually be a plot there are piles of information not given or earned in any way shape or form by the protagonists. The snow, ice, isolation, and acting were all solid. But somebody somewhere missed continuity checks in how the scenes and story tie together.

This film strikes me like a lottery ticket winner with big prize telling how smart they actually are since they have the cash. The real reason for the success is uncorrelated with any intelligent work, planning, or diligence. But yet by random chance the right things happened to make somebody think they were smart. While that may resemble real life, it is an unrewarding movie.

This is homage to Film Noir but with darkest of dark comedy done well. Some may not catch that darkest comedy done best may not connect on initial review. Fireworks is best savored in the additional viewings where you get to examine the tropes roasted. The details are all subtly interconnected with geat economy. Gershon and Zane both deliver their characters to perfection. The filming immersed me back to an era we are are all to willingly view with rose colored glasses. But the dirty underbelly had to exist and we meat the players--and even get to experience their lives. If you want happiness and a lovely plot go elsewhere.

I was able to watch all four episodes so that gets it a rating and a review. Three Stars is generous as the pay off for watching never comes. We get bad human tricks galore. I can watch the news for that. Give me something new, exciting, fun or revealing. We know Anna is broken and we have some clue why. The sexual power of abuse survivors can be overwhelming. If that is truly the reason for her being than give us another clue or three. It is not like we are worried about being family friendly as the film goes on a path of destruction scene by slow rolling out scene. The WHY was missing either it was not acted, directed, of envisioned so in the end, the 4 episodes leaves a void and thus there is little reward to watching. By the end of it I felt like I had seen to much of a bad accident.

Normally I am willing to pass on watching, enjoying or even rating favorably a film with this type of sex jokes. It is classless to tie the film plot to the furniture matching the drapes. Despite that, this is a complete film with a story of personal redemption, growth, characters making the best of a bad lot, and many more positive things. Puppet Porn in the milk cow, ejaculate, and other graphic variety here is new and something I know many of us thought about with various jokes growing up. They had the creativity to pull that into a movie and actually make it work. Seven Stars for fresh creativity. This is far from the super low ratings some give it as we have a plot, believable story line, and characters parodying well worn tropes.

Spoiler Free Review: So if you ever get on a plant and it gets hijacked by kooks, remember it can get worse (at least with the magic of movies). By now you hve probably caught on that there is a pretty significant difference between the tag lines, trailers and how the movie plays out. If you have not, stop and just watch for the twist. Normally this strikes me as bait and switch but it works here. They do it well and in the end we have characters really trying to make the best of the awful hands they have been dealt. I have to give kudos to the strength of the mother child bond as presented here. She almost pulls it off--and I was hoping until almost the end to find that she did succeed. Moms ROCK! But the real hero is Elias who has to make the right and hard call at the end. Bood Reds Sky (2021 Netflix) is not high art but it is a pretty solid movie to watch for the two hours it runs.

The Wrong Missy (2020) has a good set up, some good laughs, and a great setting. There are plot twists that I did not expect in a comedy suggesting script writing thought this through. Then they included way more obnoxious and slapstick humor than was necessary to move the plot forward and build the characters. Tim facing the midlife crisis of a failed relationship and an unfulfilling career are evident enough. Looking for love in different places is almost works, but the delivery is enough over the top that this turns out to be a pretty average movie in the end. Plot a plus. Soundtrack a huge minus. Setting a plus. Slapstick overboard a minus. For every plus we get a minus in The Wrong Missy so it averages out to 5 stars in the end.

There are so many plot holes here it is impossible to see how they added up to a complete movie. I guess movie editors are more important to the process that talented and dedicated scriptwriters and direction. For a thriller to be thrilling, there must be either logical steps of logical mis-steps for the protagonist to take. Inheritance (2020) takes most convoluted and impossible steps from one scene to the next. Had there been a laugh track it could have been possible to view this as a comedy of the absurd, instead it is just a sad excuse for a movie.

I am sure there more than a paragraph of things that people just do not do that one can come with about this movie but my five essential absurdities are: 1. Who in a position of authority and who believes themselves to be honorable, locks a car back in a prison found by surprise on her own property? Hint: nobody I want to know.

2. Who survives 33 or so years in that kind of pit? Hint: I am aware of few to zero instances.

3. How did such a story stay buried or play out? Only because that was what the script called for.

4. Bunkers do not burn like that.

5. I am unaware of deserted road like that staying intact for more than three decades.

You may find your own inconsistencies if you suffer through this insulting movie.

The Pale Blue Eye (2023, Netflix) delivers two full hours of thoughtful and amazingly well filmed movie. The actors and setting brought me back to what 1830 may very well have been in many ways and my feet were cold as we walked through the snow, but I could not quite smell the candles or forest. And that is why this is a very respectable 7 star movie. They have a solid story with two almost believable plot twists. The direction succeeds with the challenging proposition of putting historical characters into a movie. I loved the way we touch on supernatural solutions but in the end find man's capacity to do evil to his fellow man explains the story line. We have breadcrumbs from scene one leading up to the pre and post conclusions. This is dark and gothic and a great way to spend just over two hours.

As much as I like to watch Naomi Watts, "The Watcher" series is not worth the rest of the script insanity that you are expected to believe to go from one scene to the next. Skip it.

I love movies where the protagonists learn, adapt, and overcome. We had a setup where that could be the plot line in The Watcher (2022) at the beginning of episode one. The elements were tossed out for what could be a good story and I like watching Ms. Watts well enough that I took the invitation to sit through the whole series. Sadly, there is no payoff if you watch this stinker to the end. Just watch episode one and believe you can write a script that ties the story together to a rewarding end. No matter how bad you are at visualizing stories in your head, your version will have fewer plot holes, better continuity, and it is more likely to have logical consequences for actions than "The Watcher."

The only things our protagonists ever learn is whatever the directors plot line for the next scene requires. There in zero logic in what they do. If I find tunnels in my basement, I am going to have them mapped and followed. If there is strange noises in an intercom, I am going to follow the wires to figure out what is going on. If I suspect somebody of nefarious behavior, I am going to work on building a case with further investigation. Dean and Nora are buffoons confronting people absent any standing--and yes if you want to believe they are their own worst enemies and hate each other in classic psychological horror style leading to the others destruction by the end--HAVE AT IT. That is more logical than anything else told in this story.

ARQ (2016) is an admirable new entry into a crowded field. After the groundhog, making a time loop movie that with new approaches is hard, and even harder with little budget. ARQ delivers two fresh takes with some competence. Adding a little extra plot reveal and exposing a character's back story each loop was a new approach done well here. We also have those caught in the loop remembering there are trapped and that impacts those decisions this run through the loop. I really liked that part.

ARQ is far from perfect though. It is easy to a big corporation as the bad guy. Asking us to believe the resistance block is therefore good with no backing information gets a bit tiresome. And we can say there is a bit of messed up physics but that was a given with a computer running a time loop machine so easy to forgive.

ARQ only asks us to believe what is necessary to keep the plot flowing on budget and with some solid internal consistency. For that I am rating this one a good solid 7. It is watchable. In the 92 minute run time, I do not recall saying that wrong of stupid to myself once. I did say though that with a bit more care or budget that could have been better. This is solid low budget movie craft with a complete story told up to a hopeful ending. I can appreciate that short comings aside.

Quick Review: You will miss nothing if you skip this turkey.

Supporting Details: I watched Bring Him Back Dead (2022) without expecting all that much as it looked like all the good stuff was edited into the trailer and preview. I figured that if the movie delivered even some of what was promised then it may be average or slightly above. But then the movie started and that assumption went downhill fast. My disdain for the movie genre where the least bad guy is presumed to be hero is growing rapidly. All the more so when said "least bad" bad guy makes increasingly illogical and inconsistent decisions. BHBD does not deliver any honorable outcomes and implies that the whole world is corrupt--and it does neither well. Directors / story writers who have certain scenes in mind that they want to include in the finished product but do not take the time make the plot logic support the placement hurt their movies a lot. In the case of BHBD it is like they did not even try. If you watch this stinker, please post any logical explanations for: 1. Diamonds Handed to Corrupt Cop, 2. How The Rats (plural yes many) were able to communicate outside their circle, 3. Why on earth any criminal would voluntarily let their guns get locked up, 4. How any deals could have been made in advance or during from the story lines we had, and 5. Why the senseless deaths were included. Ultimately this movie scores two stars from me for having some beautiful settings and camera work. I rounded up to three stars as they did tell a story kinda beginning to end consistent with the plot. I tend to rate plots with good guys winning, great character growth, inspiring decision making, and the like much higher than the mess that is BHBD. In the end, I had zero interest in knowing what happened to any of the characters as they had worn out their welcome on my screen.

The Last Days of American Crime (2020) is almost a complete story. We have a dark dystopic crime ridden city in a country going to h__l because of crime so that gets one star. We have numerous bad guys trying to score one final heist before some Plot Magic is going to make crime except by the state impossible--Maybe. Then we introduce the femme fatale who just does not work for the story line and those doing her beck and call should know better. In the end there is a sunset, but who rides off into it is unrewarding. There are reviews galore giving this 1 & 2 and over 6 scores. Do not trust them. There is a long but kinda complete movie here. Minimal action and characters that behave, but sadly do not develop. I am putting this as a 3 stars as it just keeps going and going absent rewards to the reviewer. I can understand people like the setting and dystopia giving it one of two more stars. But, there was so much opportunity here to have a good movie and sadly it never made it to the final presentation. If you miss this one, you are not going to regret it much as there are few memorable moments or lines. Netflix is going to have to step up their game if this represents what they call dark dystopian Science Fiction. In many ways they would have had a better movie to kill everybody off at about the 80 minute mark as that would have been a better reward for my time.

There are parts of three different movies here. The writer could be imagining all this stuff in her mind before it makes it to papers. That is a clean and boring movie and it we had had transitions showing her mind separating from reality it would not be a bad movie, just a boring one.

The insane murderous nanny is another plot line hinted at in movie trailers and Grace is charming enough that possibly she could pull it off, but again the transitions and editing do not really deliver that theme through to the end.

The last plot line included in this Deadly Illusion movie is usually one of my favorites that being the classic just who's reality are the characters living and acting within. And there is just not enough of the characters paths to discovering which reality is the one they are in here to warrant other than the star above.

This is not as bad as the one and two star reviewers imply as we get a story told with care and intent--it is just not told well enough to follow. BUT this is not a good movie by any means no matter how it is being hyped and promoted as the trailer is all you really need to watch and then let your imagination run wild--that would be more rewarding.

It is hip to include hinted at or actual lesbian scenes now so that is one more way to interpret this movie as a movie made to check off obligatory boxes in what one considers essential to a movie line. And if so, at least make it believable next time.

Another way to review the movie is the stuff filmed in Albuquerque was awesome three stars for that setting and then zero for plot, acting, and compelling characters.

Class Onion gets every star it earns for the nifty filming locations and they way the camera hauled me along for the rest of an entirely impossible story. For a Who Done It mystery there are no clues here that we are supposed to use to spot the real villain as one either spots the villain on their first appearance or has to way for the last of the reveals. We do have a complete story so in that regard this is watchable. The characters are cardboard cutouts with cliche line after cliche look after cliche back story. If one is telling a story previously well told to get high marks it is necessary to reward me with either a compelling telling, great reveals, and identifiable characters. Glass Onion had so much promise after the original so I am wholly disappointed in what is now most likely a dead end franchise. Daniel Craig is so much better than portrayed here. The director even managed to make Dave Bautista look like a worse actor and that takes some doing. There are other rating out there slamming this film and if you are reading them to see if this is worth you time pay attention to them. That is not denigrating those who rate it highly as I understand flashy scores well for many--just not me.

Skip this really poor imitation of the Awesome Luc Besson movie The Professional. Absent the acting chops of Reno and Portman, one has to have some solid plot, suspense, and action to pull together a decent "inspired by" movie. My Name is Vendetta fails to live up to the image it tries to create. Maybe the voice over takes something serious away, but the characters on screen are almost one dimensional. Of maybe director Cosimo Gomez thought he was pulling together a complete different movie that what was in the final edits. Four stars as they actually have a mostly complete story line with some of the back story filled in. And the action scenes almost fit with the story line and the characters as presented. But in the end the characters just left me flat and happy that the movie was over.

The way this plot rolled out appeared mostly done to include additional special effect scenes in the movie. And that probably the Plot: Think up a lot of incongruous special effects actions scenes and than use whatever plot line one can come up with to attempt to pull it all together. TWO Stars for Action and zero others. It took me a few minutes to identify what offended me the most in 6 Underground: Supposed Good Guys create incredible collateral damage that kills more people and costs more to clean up after than whatever minimal good they actually accomplish. There can be no net good when you add up all those innocent bystanders mutilated, murdered, and monetarily maimed just so action heroes can feel good about themselves. This is a waste of time, money, and Melanie Laurent. I did not really expect much from Bay or Reynolds so in that regard there was not all that much to lose. Skip this turkey if you want any plot at all in a movie.

Watchable but lacking. Calling this a Blade Runner knock may be overly harsh but truth prevails. Perhaps if they had been working a bit harder for their own dystopia and plot dynamic they'd have been able to rest on their own reputation a bit more. But, if you have an android hunter in a near future dark dreary dystopia and you have androids questioning their own humanity, you are going to wear the comparisons to one of the best movies ever. If Blade Runner is reference you have to give me something fun, thought provoking, or shocking to reward me as a viewer. Zone 414 tries to be its own universe and barely succeeds. For that I award six stars as there is a plot with a couple twists but there is just not enough to make this one unique. Guy Pearce and Matilda Lutz deliver their main character roles a bit better than passably, but the fault here is in needing just a bit more plot to stand out from the setting they grabbed.

Ana de Armas carries this movie. Ryan Gosling does violence well and smart directors keep him moving which was done weill in The Gray Man (2022). Ana can deliver both accurate shots, punches, and punch lines all well maintaining her femininity! The Gray Man starts off pretty aggressively suggesting we are in for a thrill ride all the way to the end and with just enough plot to pull everything together we get an amazingly presented if not entirely believable run all the way to the end. Gosling and de Armas work well together and present to the others strengths. If somebody wanted to make a believable and identifiable lady action hero franchise, Ana de Armas might have the gravitas and good sense to pull it off.

Above and beyond any other review I can compose about The Old Man (2022) is that Alia Shawkat can act. This young lady could carry a series on her own. Having seasoned veterans along for the ride like Jeff Bridges, John Lithgow, and Amy Brenneman fills this out nicely. As a more seasoned citizen that I care to admit, every time Dan Chase wins in another unlikely situation I feel a little vicarious success. Season One of The Old Man has a lot going for it in terms of a solid story line, an amazing way of rolling the story out with the well acted and spaced flashbacks. Above all else, I want them to continue this series so we can see how many times who The Old Man that the title is referring to actually is. Thus far, we have had my guess for who that title roll actually is change as we discover more. In Order Dan is the solidly the title character until Harold takes over. Then in a phone call or two Morgan takes over the title roll. Things bounce back a forth until we find Faraz in that title roll drivers seat. This makes a great series as the story gets deeper and deeper. I am anxiously awaiting HULU's release of season two of this gem.

The Weekend Away moves along like a reasonably predictable thriller. Some parts are almost thrilling. Other parts drag or have a lot of: "Hey, that does not work logically. The ending comes twice, once when you get to say, hey that misses some of the essential clues and once when you go hmmm, I get it, but why this way. The settings in Croatia are beautiful and parts of what I watch a movie for. It is always rewarding to see places I am never likely to see any other way. I am going to go up and change my rating from 5 to SIX as the cinematography in this movie added a lot and filled in for some of the other shortcomings. Call this one a solid workman style movie that would have been made for an early slot in a long double feature.

Compared to all movies this is 3 stars at most. It has many vegetables in various stages of decay. But if violence and sex are your movie necessities, this one is six or seven stars.

Mikkelsen and Hudgens almost have a dynamic to make this movie work. Three times along the insane ride of Polar (2019) we see the sparks of a very disconnected bond between the two. So three or four minutes of this movie work and I so much want to rate it higher for those rare instances. BUT, the balance of Polar is disjoint and gratuitous scenes of graphic novel sex and violence. I am not knocking sex and violence in a movie, but if you pretend to have a plot, make the violence and sex connect to that plot even as predictable as this plot was.

We get that Mikkelsen is playing the worlds greatest assassin from the beginning and expecting him to dispatch all opponents is therefore a logical flow. So that is the story line that needs to be built. Other lines in the movie are just that diversions with little to add. Finding all the spare film with Mikkelsen and Hudgens interacting would be well added to a directors cut. If you are a graphic novel adaptation movie fan this will hold plenty of promise and the ratings support that.