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Reviews
Percy Jackson and the Olympians (2023)
I'm sad :(
As a childhood fan of the original book series and disappointed viewer of the 2010s movies, I was excited to see Percy Jackson finally get the live action it deserved. Did this Disney+ series do it? Well...not exactly.
The show did a lot of things right, at least on paper. The characters acted like themselves, which is a lot more than I can say about the movies, and most major plot points were hit. We also got a good Camp Halfblood and some convincing casting for most of the main characters. The main cast did a good job as far as child acting goes and I'm excited to see them develop later on if we get a season two. Charlie Bushnell did a pretty great job as Luke, especially in the final episode. Adam Copeland was also great as Aries. Nevertheless, a lot of the line delivery was a bit clanky, which I think has more to do with the script than the actual actors. I didn't feel a lot of energy coming through the screen, which made it difficult to keep my attention on the story.
In terms of the viewing experience itself, this show was incredibly lack luster. The effects were rushed and the cinematography itself was wooden. Also, what were those long, black pauses every five minutes? Were there supposed to be ad breaks? It was so jarring. Everything felt like it had been through a corporate dry cleaner, including, unfortunately, some of the story. Gabe got scrubbed of a lot of his more undesirable traits, turning into more of a disgruntled washup than a straight up abuser. Annabeth didn't talk about her backstory very much and her fear of spiders goes all but unmentioned until a throwaway line in the final episode. The most criminal aspect of this is that we lost the Zebra express heart to heart that Annabeth and Percy have in the books. A lot of character building moments got changed!
Speaking of changes, there was a lot of shuffling, cutting, and rewriting going on in this show, some of which was welcome, but others were not. A welcome change was the addition of Hera's chair in the Waterland episode, which gave a good character moment for Percy. Another was the addition of Hermes at the Lotus Casino to better set up the final plot twist. Yet another was Percy genuinely failing the quest and Poseidon having to surrender to Zeus to stop him from murdering Percy. Great changes. Some unwelcome changes were making all the characters know everything before it happens. Part of the charm of the original book is that Percy is learning. Sure, he knows some stuff from his Mom, but he shouldn't immediately know who Crusty is. I also didn't like Annabeth getting warped out of the Underworld early or Grover's pearl being lost because of Cerberus. Annabeth also doesn't like architecture in this? What? Grover doesn't eat trash? Percy's sword isn't called Riptide!?! I feel like the show was rushing from plot point to plot point, and, combining that with a poor script, you get a hollow show.
I've been pretty harsh in this review, but only because I know how much better the show could have been. Again, there were some strengths, but there were also a lot of weaknesses. When you make a tv show, you should get editors who know more than cut-to-black. You should get a soundtrack that has at least one memorable song. You should get a cinematographer who knows more than making sure a character is on screen when they're talking. If I had my way, I probably wouldn't have even gone with a live action adaptation for Percy Jackson. An animated show would work perfectly for the story's larger than life characters so you can get Percy besting Aries without motion blur and a shoddy CGI wave. Nevertheless, I am hopeful that the show runners can take this constructive criticism to heart and make a better season two, because ultimately I want to see this story told in full. It's a 6/10 for me for now. Maybe if there is a season two, that score will go up. But right now, I am disappointed.
Gen V (2023)
Perhaps I treated you too harshly Edit: Nvm
When I went into this show, I was expecting to get something as good as The Boys. This wasn't. But that doesn't make it necessarily bad.
I have a lot of problems with the early plot, particularly with how inconsistent and bland the characters were early on. However, things really picked up in the later episodes and we got some actual character development.
I think this show suffers from its setting in a lot of ways. Because the main characters are college students, they do dumb things a lot and it can be frustrating as a viewer. They also act in terribly inconsistent or even just flat out out of character ways. For example, in the early episodes, a character meets another character for the first time and in the span of a few minutes asks them to do a life or death recon mission. What. That's dumb. But it's also college students. By suffering from the setting I specifically mean that, since everyone is college aged and in peak teen drama territory, a lot of things have to get swept under the rug for me. The early episodes especially felt like an edgier version of Riverdale at points. However, once the plot picks up, it gets a bit better.
Similarly, romance develops incredibly quickly between characters. It's immature and that's kind of the point.
I also felt like a lot of the characters got let off easy early on by the writers, which didn't sit right with me. Like at one point, they go into a party, accidentally kill someone, and then act like selfless people as if they didn't leave that other person to die. But later on, their hypocrisy and their own inconsistencies are brought further to light and it just works very well. You get the feeling that these characters aren't meant to be totally consistent or even aware that they are. Like how they want to act like they care about non-superheroes, but then don't really care when one of them dies. Plus half of them are severely mentally ill, so it kinda tracks. Truly a Gen Z show.
Love that the schizo kid immediately becomes radicalized after going to a political rally once. It made sense for his character and it hopefully will serve as a wake up call for the small girl because girly that man pictured you as a muppet when he was having sex with you. Speaking of muppets, that one muppet battle scene went hard.
Early on I gave this show a 5/10, because I felt like it was dollar store The Boys. But now I'd say it's about average in terms of the shows I watch. It's relatively enjoyable and has some cool political satire peppered in. I appreciate the jabs at neoliberal posturing and right wingers being right wing. I'm looking forward to watching the finale and I'll see if my opinion changes after that. 7/10 so far...
Edit: Just watched the ending. It was alright... Some of the creative decisions were kind of stupid and Homelander's appearance was...interesting to say the least. Plus all the stopping mid battle to have a verbal confrontation between like 3 characters got old fast. I'm not convinced that the events would just blow over with the whole superhero supremacist rebellion thing at the school, but maybe we'll see more fallout in the next season of The Boys. Imma take it down a tick to 6/10. It had potential about midway through, but it sorta fizzled out for me.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)
Finally a solid movie from the MCU
We've all been feeling super hero fatigue lately and since a lot of Marvel's more recent projects have been half baked CGI nightmares with little to say, Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 is a breath of fresh air.
First, the good. Rocket's backstory is extremely well done. It maintains a somber tone throughout and is never undermined by quippy Marvel jokes. You can feel the fear and tension in those scenes and they are really great to watch. The humor was pretty good, especially Dave Bautista's Drax. His comedic timing was near perfect. There were also a lot of visual gags and slapstick that really made me chuckle to myself in the theater. There was still the Marvel quippy humor, as Guardians is really the origin of that meme, but it wasn't near as tone deaf as what we saw in Thor: Love and Thunder. The movie lets it's more heavy hitting moments with Rocket lie, which I really appreciated coming from a Marvel film. Gamora's interactions with the Guardians were also handled very well, which honestly surprised me. The movie took a surprisingly mature approach to broken relationships and had a good arc for Star Lord regarding his relationships with others. However, the highlight of the movie is definitely the action and the set pieces. There's a beautifully choreographed hallway scene where all the Guardians get to show off with an awesome fish eye lens POV slow motion continuous shot. It was easily the highlight of the film for me.
Now, for the bad, or at least the mediocre. The Grand Evolutionary was pretty lackluster as a villain. He was barely in the movie and at the end the battle with him is pretty much one sided. Since he was more of a practical obstacle, than a necessary part of the themes the story was exploring, this was fine. However, it could have been better if there was a more focused villain, or perhaps one that challenged the way the Guardians think instead of thematic conflict being between only the Guardians themselves. My only gripe with the Rocket backstory is that we don't see a lot of him dealing with his past in the present, which is honestly a real shame. Adam Warlock definitely won't be everyone's piece of cake, since he was sidelined for most of the movie. However, I didn't mind this as much, because the parts that he was in, he did well. A few of the running jokes didn't quite land for me, but a lot of them did, so that's forgiven. On a more general note, my largest criticism is that the movie is a bit unfocused, since it is juggling so many characters at once. A few arcs had to be played off as gags because there wasn't enough time to really fill them out. A lot of character resolutions were structured as them "realizing" something and saying it out loud to a group of guardians. However, this wasn't super atrocious. If anything, the movie could have benefitted from being longer or from having cut a few characters out. It was pretty good, but it had the capacity to be very good or even great. I still had a great time though.
All in all, the movie was pretty good, which honestly surprised me given Marvel's recent track record. It's a solid 8/10 from me. In my opinion, it is Marvel's best since Endgame.
Inception (2010)
Nolan's Best
I'm a big fan of movies that give me an existential crisis and solve it by the end. Inception is one of those movies. It's so perfectly crafted with excellent visuals, music, pacing, and characters. I cannot express enough how much I enjoyed this film. It confronts the issue of alternate reality and how one can become so obsessed with authenticity that one can end up losing the ability to enjoy what you have before you. The "magic" system is very well established and just a blast to watch. It does start a bit slow, as do most Nolan movies, but it picks up like crazy in the second act. The buildup to the climax is gripping and you will not feel the hours go by in the end.
I don't want to spoil anything for possible viewers, so I'll keep this brief. Please go watch this movie.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)
It felt like a prolonged TikTok that was somehow too short
First, the good. The animation was some of Illumination's best work by a long shot. There's some good references in there that will make you go "Ha! I remember that!", but that's about as deep as anything gets. The jokes landed more often than not, but none were making me laugh out loud. The locations were really well designed. My only gripe with those was that the movie moved too fast for me to drink it all in. Jack Black as Bowser was definitely the highlight of this movie, but I'm sure anyone reading will already know that.
Now for the bad. It felt like a prolonged short form cutscene or a TikTok. Every time it looked like I would see some semblance of character development or a character moment, it immediately ended and we were rushed off to the next thing. Toad wants to join Peach and Mario? Is this conflict? Will of flesh out Toad's experience as an adventurous toad in a society of cowardice? No. Peach just says "Ok!" Mario and Donkey Kong have similar experiences with disappointing their fathers? Conflict? Barely. But then we rocket out of the fish! Mario and Luigi are stronger together? Yeah that's just a fact, don't ask me to develop it or even change what that means in the slightest bit. They fight as one in the finale! How is this earned? Not at all!
The music was a mix of Mario instrumental motifs and random 70s "nostalgia" bait. It was alright in places, albeit a bit cheesy, but the 70s music was jarring. I felt like the whole movie, the audience was expected to just point at the references and go "I remember that!" No development, poor music. Pretty much the only thing it had going for it was nostalgia and decent animation. It would have been better if I played out on 0.25x speed. Let things lie.
Many people say that I should expect the movie to be anything more than it is, since it's a kids movie. Except the movie is packed with references only 30 year old Mario fans will understand. Kids might have fun with the flashy colors and Illumination humor, but that's it. It's clearly made, at least in large part, for adult Mario fanboys. I tend to think a good movie will appeal to all ages. Take The Lion King, or more recently Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, for example. They're geared towards kids, but they have deeper themes and allow the audience to be in the moment. The Mario Movie has none of that. You don't dwell on anything. It's go go go, with no development, and then the movie ends. What's the message? It's good to not quit? Family is stronger together? These are things that are said in the movie, but aren't really demonstrated in a feasible way. Luigi is barely in the movie. There's no conflict that fleshes tour any relationship. In fact, the conflict itself is just Bowser being an incel. Maybe explore Peach's autonomy? That'd be good for kids to understand. Nah. He's just funny incel turtle man.
All in all, I was expecting a better movie, especially with the hype online. I was expecting to stick it to the critics and see how good the Mario Movie really was. Instead, I ended up agreeing with them. This was not a good movie. It wasn't awful, and it didn't make my eyes bleed, so it gains some points there. Overall, I give it 5/10. It's fine to watch on a one off if you were going to scroll through social media for an hour and a half instead, as you'd probably get the same entertainment value and the same depth as you would from TikTok.
Kôdo Giasu: Hangyaku no Rurûshu (2006)
Pretty good
The main thing this show has going for it are it's highs and it's highs are amazing. "Bloody Euphie" and "Re;" are some of the best tv I've watched. The battles are intense and I love the animation style. Lelouch is genuinely one of the best characters I've seen. However, when the shows drags, it draggggs. There's a lot of things that could have been cut or entirely reworked. The thought elevator bit was very underexplored, most of it happening off screen, and King Charles wasn't nearly as developed as I would have liked. Every time there was a school episode, I felt like the show lost all of its momentum. A lot of the drama involving Zero's identity felt a bit repetitive and sometimes unbelievable, especially with characters supposedly close to Lelouch. Anything with Mao bored me half to death, though those episodes were important for exploring how Geass works, so its somewhat forgiven. In short, this show has some low lows, but some of the highest highs I've seen. 7.5 rounded up to 8/10 from me.
Se7en (1995)
Great Movie with a predictable ending
Let's get the good out of the way. This was a very artistic movie with some excellent ambience (I loved the rain). The murders were gruesome and the storyline was engaging. Morgan Freeman was excellent as always and Brad Pitt had some great moments. However, Kevin Spacey really stole the show for me. It's a great movie and I think it's definitely worth the watch.
Now on to the bad. As Se7en is a bit of a genre-defining film, it's hard to watch for the first time today without feeling like the plot is dull. It definitely has its moments, especially when the sloth victim, but one of the most pivotal moments fell completely flat to me. I was able to predict the ending as soon as I knew the killer was going through the seven deadly sins, so as the tension rose and the film built up to its climax, I was waiting for something to throw me off guard. However, everything happened just as I expected it. Apparently, this is not a common experience with this movie, but it was my experience, so it really docked the movie from a solid 9 inching towards a 10 to an 8 sinking towards a 7.
Glass Onion (2022)
I don't get the hype
I watched Glass Onion expecting something on par but different from Knives Out. It definitely met the latter goal, but the former it did not. A lot of the humor didn't land particularly well with me, especially the dated pandemic jokes, and the plot itself was a bit over-convoluted and messy. I also felt like none of the characters were given a lot of room to develop, especially the rich friends, who ended up superfluous caricatures by the end. Don't get me wrong, there were aspects of the movie I enjoyed. Once it got going (though this did take forever) I was pretty invested. However, my investment turned to boredom as the hour long flashback drawled on. I also found the visuals no where near as appealing as the first movie, but this has more to do with the setting of "new money" than anything else. The main thing I enjoyed was a couple of the callbacks and the payoffs for things set up earlier, though many of them I predicted outright, so the flashbacks felt a bit overdone.
The main critique that I've not really seen given is that there were several moments in the movie where I felt like the writers were engaging in a bit of a power fantasy through Helen's character. The young school teacher gets to go on a wealthy island retreat and scold the rich for their hypocrisy. This can be done right, but a lot of the scenes didn't really stick the landing for me. This was especially true in the last scene, where Helen goes around breaking all of Miles's stuff and everyone else doesn't really know what to do. It's cathartic, don't get me wrong, but the resolution is incredibly unrealistic. I felt as though the writers had built up to a grand moment and realized they had nothing to work with. In the end, Miles is still a billionaire, albeit with a hurt ego, and his teet-suckers are still being blackmailed (you know, for perjury) by him. I think I couldn't get behind the sudden change of heart in all the side-characters at the end. They were all still self-interested pieces of garbage, it's just that Miles's Klear didn't work out.
One thing that was more of a personal gripe coming from an engineer is the way the fuel is used in the house and how it contributes to the resolution. Power isn't generated by pumping a bunch of fuel in your vents. Even gas heating is done by blowing air over a combustion chamber. I can pretend like a safe-ish hydrogen based fuel (which wouldn't be a rock, especially not at STP) exists in this world, but acting like it would be pumped in the vents is, to quote Blanche, "just dumb." Never mind that H2 is literally lighter than air and the house has a bunch of open windows. If hydrogen gas were in there, the place would blow sky high with as little as a spark and everyone inside would be dead, unlike in the movie. I get that it was for the Hindenburg climax and all, but I just couldn't get over it. Again, its a personal gripe, so I don't think I should dock the movie for it. However, it did impede my personal enjoyment.
I'm giving Glass Onion a 6/10, since it's above average in some aspects, but also infuriating in others.