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Ascension (2002)
Oh no how could they....
This is one of the worst movies of all time.
Someone - probably the director - must have told the actors that if they do something slowly, it indicates thought, feelings or something... and the actors must then have though "good idea". They do everything slowly - walk, talk, think...
You keep seeing this midsized building in which they are walking up the stairs, but how can it take so long? oh well they do everything slowly...
It has meaningless lines, delivered slowly and badly. They torture us with bad cut scenes, awful camera handling, awful effects and bad music/sound.
This is terrible, it does nothing for me - except for being annoying. Maybe it is supposed to be controversial, provocative, blasphemous or something; it accomplishes none of this. Forget this title and find something more interesting.
The Living and the Dead (2006)
What a load of crap...
I shouldn't even get this piece of waste of time one star. I'm sitting here considering this one of the worst movies i have ever seen - and i've seen some crap in my time.
The sorry piece of movie will of course give us all some bad taste in our mouth when they make awkward and embarrassing scenes like seeing a retarded son trying to help his mother when she is seriously ill and crying, scenes where the retard tries to force his mother to eat pills because "the more you take, the better you will get". But that doesn't make the movie better, touching, scary or anything else than a bad taste in my mouth and wanting to seeing this sorry movie. So lets just say that the one star i'm giving is for making me feel bad.
The effects are really annoying - fast forward style effects, annoying sound. Mental-patient seeing visions effect look like a joke with a painted guy with something weird on top of his head - i guess he is supposed to look dead (and even with this they fail miserably) and he has got something that looks like a new years party decoration on top his head.
Even the ever so faulty and stupid story of the family with a sick son and mother has so many annoying mistakes and just poor judgments in it that i hate this movie. I would never recommend this movie to anyone, not even my worst enemy or as looser-practical-joke recommendation to my best friends... DO NOT WASTE YOUR LIFE ON THIS!
AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)
What really could have been good...
...wasn't! I was very excited when I first heard about this movie. I have read some of the AVP comics from black horse and really enjoyed them. I was looking forward to some Alien vs. Predator vs. SpaceMarine action and I must say that I feel that I've been let down.
The story or should I say bad excuse for the movie, really is bad. The relationships (trying not spoil here - watch it you'll know) in the movie are so lousy ideas for a story that I almost cried.
After seeing all Alien movies and the Predator movies one have some to expect certain things and elements from such movies - the chill of some of the alien movies, the action, the seriousness of the aliens/predators. None of these elements are fully lived up to in this movie! The effects and the acting in this movie isn't that bad but still far from great... watch something else.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)
Fun action packed movie
A good blend of fun, action and a bit of romantic spice here and there - and who wouldn't enjoy seeing the lovely Angelina Jolie in a (romantic?) fist fight.
The story of the movie isn't that original and it is not a epic story - in my opinion it is an excuse for entertaining people. And thats all it does. And yes it is easy to find other movies with more action, blood, sex or whatever - but this movie has a reasonable mix of all the elements. The fights are well done, always humorous and not too bloody.
Even though some scenes and parts of the story are somewhat long the general flow in the movie is good.
I enjoyed watching this movie - I had a good laugh. I wasn't bored at anytime in the movie and I didn't notice any really bad acting, but neither did I notice any really great acting (and I didn't expect that either). It was actually better than I had expected.