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Masters of Horror (2005)
Campy Christian Horrors?
All these stories are formulaic with Demons, chapter and paragraph from the Bible, worship, sacrifice and abortion?
Very campy . The episodes have some amazing actors and actresses like Christopher Lloyd, Elliot Gould, Ron Perlman and Corbin Bernson.
I don't know what the writers and directors had on these actors but they mustve owed some public service or something like that because there isn't enough money to pay all the actors what they normally get paid? Even if they were paid the lowest wage all these episodes would add up?
The A level talent is crushed beneath the terrible storylines.
The Ark (2023)
I waited for This?
This show is worse than the first season on LEXX or Tales from a Parallel Universe. The "actors & actresses" are like the HS theater club kids who go on stage and pretend to be trees and then cry about it because the students that watched the play 'didn't understand our talents'. The compression suits worn by these colonists teens have hood helmets that hold pressure? Come on? It's like wrapping a person in aluminum foil and proclaiming he's now a state of the art cyborg? Huge open decks full of cryo-beds and they gripe about wasted space for storage? Rooms and corridors are wider than the ones on the Enterprise D and Discovery? Rationed foods are prepackaged little cubes of cookie in cardboard that is waste packaging? Crew quarters are huge without storage in the room because they have rows of lockers with the colonists personal items stored away so they can be tampered with later or used to frame the curly haired girl who doesnt shut up? The girl in charge has a room with a queen sized bed in it? She wasn't in charge before the Event happened? Was this her room assigned to her before the adult captain died? This isnt the captains room she just moved into is it? Do any of the writers know anything about the genre of space travel TV shows? Cancel season 2. Cancel episode 2 for me even.
See: Rock-a-Bye (2021)
What? Wait...how?
So how is it that Voss went from feeling the ground for movement and swinging a hog splitter at his enemy to weilding a katana? A weapon known for its precise ability to surgically slice through people? And he wears it correctly And draws it from its sheath correctly AND... wears traditional garb of a samurai with layers and has his hands and wrists wrapped Yojimbo style and everything? Even down to his hair gathered in a top knot? All of these fashions died out centuries back on another continent hes never been to or met anyone from? I do like how they pray though? Real down to earth way too..
American Horror Stories: Milkmaids (2022)
As if?
Like two lowly milkmaids could read and write in the late 1700s? Not a chance. Just a statement like this would've got these women burned as witches. To lay with another woman, witch. To force themselves onto a child..witch. Talking sciences and such, witch. This woman is writing down scientific notation and inoculations, bacteria in the wounds? Witch talk!!
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: A Quality of Mercy (2022)
Did you catch them?
In the beginning of the finale episode 10, did you catch all the other Star Trek references? Access the Data and the thing about Savik 7 or whatever? So this review is too short and I need to add enough characters to make the post at least 150 characters? Is this enough?
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: All Those Who Wander (2022)
Too many character driven episodes.
It's becoming formulaic and using episodes to flesh out each character for a series where the viewing base don't need it.
I'm really close to calling this a wash, just like I did with Discovery and that asinine spinoff. Putting warp nacelles out on tractor beams? That helps with being able to go to warp? Why would a ship with a perfectly functional spore drive need that upgrade? And ? Is it just me or does Nurse Chapel have a pierced tongue? Yowza.
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: Lift Us Where Suffering Cannot Reach (2022)
Interspecies nonsense.
So? Again, how can Uhura know how to translate a non federation language from Magalas . Without knowing the structure of the language or context of what was being spoken? Does the language have vowels? Is it pictograms? Is it symbols of things she couldn't possibly know? But she just translates a bunch of info cards no problems Without using the main computer or database to attract any attention to her doing it? A majority of languages Uhura knows are dialects of Earth languages. Which wouldn't help her at all. And... Pike's Johnny Bravo hairstyle?
The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)
So Bad you'll Howl!
Terrible, disjointed storytelling written AND acted by Jim Cummings? I couldve written a better cop/werewolf/Abu Garaib/PTSD movie on a short weekend with a hammer and chisel carved into Diamonds. And I probably suck. But suck is still one or two steps above this movie. Except for Riki Lindhome shes a delight and id watch a full length MCU movie of her eating Ramen.
Halo: Inheritance (2022)
So Many Questions, well, two so far
While I like the story and adaptation of the Halo game I am left with so many questions? Like; why does Bokeem Woodbine's character have a messed up arm? I know why it is but why is it still? This is the future, he makes good money as a pirate of UNSC property? Couldn't he have a new arm grown and connected or have a state of the art prosthesis built for him? And, why does Burn Gorman's character Vincher Grath have an SUV vehicle that he gets chauffeured around Madrigal in by his lackey? Again, this is Halo , he could have a bad a** ship he tools around in? Why land in a ship from space and drive off in a wheeled, land based vehicle? Seems like one too many steps for a space-nazi?
DMZ (2022)
DMZ ? NIMBY
It's a good thing Rosario Dawson got into "the warzone" on the exact day they were filming a Benaton ad, everyone of every flavour mixing in the streets. Free food, live DJ , black, brown, white and yellow all just having fun like they do in real life? Right? Thank heavens they all have a side hustle on the booming black market for fresh food, meds to trade, drugs, gasoline, the everyday what-have-yous people need to survive? Just No running water? No. But they got spray paint and weed. It wasn't Me who killed Cyrus, it was the Warriors....nope, I mean the 5th Avenue Vatos.
And Skel isn't short for skeleton. It's cop slang for perp.
The Kindness of Strangers (2019)
A struggle to survive, Me , not the actors.
I've seen the first twenty minutes and I've said " what? Please?" So unbelievable im struggling to get through it. I love the actors etc. Billy Nighy? Yes , Jay Baruchal , Hiccup , yes, that Landry guy. All good. The nympho black woman from Letterkenny. The nurse from somewhere? And the lead actress? Not a clue where I knew her from. Ugh , the struggle is real. If you leave your POS cop husband and take your kids and scurry away in the early morning. Pack food and clothes. Maybe some pawn-ables? Some cash. And then throw a pan of boiling oil on that mook while he sleeps. But thats just me..
Reacher (2022)
Yeah .... uh-huh ?
Episode 1 two guys get transfered to prison in one day , got bounced in 12 hours. Ep 2 Reacher checks into hotel with teeny tiny female officer who walks around in little black ( i want to say panties) underwear , literally throwing it at him. Nothing happens. Ep 3 said little copper gives Reacher her daddy's gun ??? A .50AE Desert Eagle !! , hand cannon gets jocked and never seen again. You lost me with the 6'5" line when he is clearly 6'2" cause little Willa is 5'5"...clearly 10" shorter than Reechie....please let him be gay..
I onde dager (2021)
Who wrote this ?
What did i just watch? A Neo Nazi , a gay rapist and a psychopath escape prison? A minimal security prison i think? And hole up in a summer cabin somewhere in the fjords of Norway. A cabin that is owned by a director that doesnt direct and an actress that cannot act. If you disconnect your brain at the halfway mark its watchable. All i know is that the makeup artist for Lars and Lisa knows their craft. It really looks like Lars was beaten several times to the brink of death . Its pretty gruesome what happens to these 5 characters but the real star is Lar's papa. The man has the best lines and the best death. He takes a lickin' but keeps on tickin'.
The Silent Sea (2021)
Nice hardware, terrible story
Why would a mining and research base have a keypad that lets people into the airlocks? Like there are people just out there strolling around on the moon and might want to break in and steal some Soju? When the shuttle crashed and nearly skid over the edge into the canyon how did Dr Soon fall out of her chair? No gravity? Then the windsheild blows out with such force it almost blows Dr Soon out of the shuttle ? The moon is no atmosphere and inside the shuttle is 1 atmosphere. Thats not enough to blow anything out after a few seconds of smashing out? Boo...
Occupation: Rainfall (2020)
Maximum 20 minutes
I usually give any movie 20 minutes before i cut it loose or continue to watch it through. This one was a struggle. All the sets are parking structures with dirty cardboard boxes and torn rags. The majority of the cast are CGI aliens from first year students at some random graphics school. Its a mish-mash of stories , who am i , who is that , what is that ? How many alien races are on Earth currently? Do humans trust aliens immediately when they say they switch sides because this war isnt right? I don't think so? Its been a couple years of non-stop battle and humans are dying off quickly so lets add some aliens to the ranks ? Terrible?
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)
Cringe
While watching Phoebe ( McKenna Grace) interact with Paul Rudds character i didn't know which was more cringe worthy ? The obtuse joke or the animated , almost robotic way Phoebe blinked her left eye? Or that she winked at a teacher she had only just met? Shes 14-15 and Rudd is 51-52. Also Phoebe is the name of Lisa Kudrow's character in Friends whom Paul Rudds character, Paul , dated?
Gunpowder Milkshake (2021)
Joanne Wick
What in the Hell was this? People were gushing over how cool it was. The synchronized fight scenes , the goofy tough guys. Just a horrible comic book brought to life. And it just keeps getting worse. The boneheads are cackling hyenas on nitrous. Very impossible shoot outs and set ups . This movie begged to be directed by Quentin Tarantino. Or at least Roberto Rodriguez?
What can i say? Its not even escapism. Poor Pond . Run along silly girl...
Loki: For All Time. Always. (2021)
Really Kang , Really?
I was really enjoying Loki and how the series was progressing. All up to the point when Loki and Sylvie enchant Alioth and they get to the castle . The elevator opens and..... sly , jive ass turkey 1975 era Kang persona? I was just waiting for Kang to say hes a Time Pimp. Stacked shoes , slacks and silky vest, chomping on an apple? An immortal being just snacking on a freaking apple?
Everything Kang said i was waiting for him to finish his sentences with " you dig my rap?" What a let down for such a huge character arc before the movies AMQ & DR-MOM? Sad.
The Tomorrow War (2021)
Not too terrible.
For being an Amazon Prime offering it wasnt terrible. I know Pratt is an up and comer in Executive Producer title but this was pretty well done. The effects of the White Spikes was quality but very improbable in their structure. They supposedly were eating humans but their anatomy must not have been very taxing on their systems. They can squirt 8 inch bone projectiles at will from long tentacles? They also have 4 or 6 arms or 2 to 4 legs? Depending on what its doing? Running on all surfaces 360° at any given time and it appears as if gravity dont impact on them at all?
If you shut off you brain and watch this you can still predict whats gonna happen. Its a good watch.
Black Summer: The Cold (2021)
Still many Whats ?
So they are in the freezing cold but you can't see their breath and they get into a huge farmhouse but the ice still hangs off their hair and beards. A man climbs a tree to escape a zombie and when he gets down out of that tree he picks up 3 pieces of chopped wood that he was sent out to retrieve. James King lets him back in just in time to escape the rampage of the tree zombie. The house is immaculate and is wall to wall wood . Tables , chairs , sofas, sideboards and wood trimmed walls and doorways. The tree guy brought in 3 pieces of wood? Do Better . This is terrible.
Monsters of Man (2020)
Does NOT compute !!
I wanted to like this movie so bad ? I'm not saying that i am knowledgeable of all firearms but i Am saying i know all these weapons. If you watch Boller he racks his pistol several times for the effect of doing so. Also the half charge of an AK-47 to see if its loaded and then ejecting the magazine to see how many rounds you still have does nothing. Watch the final fight scene between 3 & 4 and Boller & Mason , while Boller is firing the AR-15 style rifle the ejection port stays closed, every time the bolt cycles it hits a tab on the inside face of the ejection port/dust cover making it open to eject the spent casing. It doesn't shut by itself. This is a technical mistake by the Weapons Dept for the movie. Do Better ! The robots are pretty good though. Other than that its just a bunch of 20 somethings crying , screaming and dying to make the movie work. Terribly. A bunch of no name actors blubbering and running from temple to temple in the Cambodian jungle.
Stowaway (2021)
Just terrible , cosmically comedic
I wanted to like this movie . It has amazing actors and actresses. I gave the rating one star per great actor. I couldn't give a partial star to the new Stowaway guy? The first few minutes ruined this movie for me just based on the "artificial gravity" of a linearly traveling ship to Mars and then the three astronauts held a press conference with head gear so the conversation was completely one sided . With the astronauts speaking to a box that was asking silent questions and apparently receiving images we can't see from Mission Control. Yuck. I understand that movies are being made now on low budgets with minimal actors but ....come on ? The ship is huge , full sized corridors and modules. A giant Millenium Falcon window opens up with sliding panels . Its purely Chekov's Gun. You know its going to get blown out at some point in this wretched movie ? But when ? Who dies when that happens? You know that only the Stowaway survives the mission when it reaches Mars ? I wouldn't know , i shut it off after 20 mins.
IMDb Originals: Remembering Chadwick Boseman (2020)
Wow ? Im stunned !
I cannot believe this ? Chadwick was a great up-and-comer .
He was a great actor and his reign was short on the throne of Wakanda . It just goes to show , if you want to make God laugh , sign a multiple movie contract . Again , stunned at the loss .....Oh'bomb'ay T'Challa
( Denzel is mad !!)
Amazing Stories (2020)
Not Everybodys Show ?
So everyone was quick to jump on the gay and tinder bandwagons . Nobody said anything about their company the Taylor Bros Construction took a job that on the first day of work the older brother Jake is tearing up hardwood floors while the younger brother Sam does ?? What ?? First day of repairing an old house ? Of course , hes sanding the outside front porch railing ?? Who does that ?
Star Trek: Picard: Stardust City Rag (2020)
What Was This ??
How in the world did they think this episode was any good ? Rio's dressed like a 1980s , Seven in an implied relationship with Vagazil ( sp I know , shut up)
Dr Agnes killing off her love interest Maddox because he created the abomination Soji and Dahj , I get that but ? Why doesnt the " artifact " have a fail safe that kicks in , repairs the cube and activates 1000s of intact Borg ? Then the Queen sees the cube has reactivated and opens a warp conduit to the Delta Quadrant? There is That problem solved ! And Picard ? A Shakespearean trained actor Sir Pat doing that terrible accent , so badly I cringed hearing him . Romulan Sword Guy doesnt know how to bluff and play a character? Like he didnt read the Three Musketeers and sword fight with Picard , pretending to be D'artagnan? Come on people . I've written better episodes in my sleep with a crayon in my teeth ?