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CaptainUSA2000
Reviews
Cha Cha Real Smooth (2022)
Cooper Raiff looks 30
At least cast an actor who looks the right age.
This is like 2 hours of rehashed clichés of every movie you've already seen.
Characters are cliché, dry, and predictable.
Happily (2021)
This movie was POINTLESS waste of time. SERIOUSLY DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME
There IS NO ENDING.
The writer conveniently has the main protagonist stop the antagonist from explaining the ending. How convenient and gnikcuf lazy.
SERIOUSLY DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME.
How the hell do tihs movies like this get greenlighted?
Alone (2020)
This movie is a TOTAL RIPOFF of #ALIVE except it has CRAPPIER ACTING and even worse directing!
Don't waste your life on this piece of schnitt zombie ripoff of #ALIVE.
I mean, WTF... since when did putting newspapers over glass protect you against zombies? Those aren't even interior windows for ducks sake! If you're gonna copy a movie then ducking do it right, don't do it dumb!
Where did the main actor go to school? He should ask for his money back. Overacting is for soap operas and nobody likes that schnitt, case in point, how many soap operas exist today? None. I rest my case.
You're better off using your schitfinity data-capped regionally monopolized bandwidth on streaming live cat cams than on this garbage.
If I got to you too late and you need to wash this crap out of your mind, go watch #ALIVE.
Fantasy Island (2020)
Don't let the stupid boomers ruin this movie for you, it's actually pretty good!
I had very low expectations due to the 4.6 rating of this movie but since I love tropical island movies and I'm stuck at home social distancing anyway, I gave it a watch. The acting is pretty decent and there are enough twists and turns to keep you guessing. This movie is really about a 7/10 but I rated it 10/10 to balance all the moronic boomers' hatred.
It's definitely not predictable, Hollywood usually makes sure a certain stereotypical trope plays out in every horror movie, not this one though. I won't ruin it for you. That was fkucing refreshing as hell. Great job Blum! Looking forward to more movies like this one!
Frozen II (2019)
I'm a 51 yr old male who loved this story of sisterly love.
I normally don't write reviews but I love new story lines that help me to discover the breadth and depth of my empathy.
I loved the relationship between Anna and Elsa in this movie.
I cried with Anna when she lost her sister and when she saw her alive again.
Dirty John (2018)
How the F did this show get such a high rating?
It has some of the most "amateur hour" script writing and cringiest acting I've ever seen in a TV production.
Two Night Stand (2014)
Cringy, Corny, Cheesy
This is the kind of movie that makes you wanna pour fluorosulfuric acid into your eyeballs... and not in a good way.
This is the kind of movie that makes you wanna throw the lead actors head first into an industrial tree branch shredder... and not in a good way.
This is the kind of movie that makes you wish you could go back in time and prevent the writers from ever being born... and not in a good way.
If you're into cringy writing and acting that tries way to hard at making statements just to make a statement, then you'll love this movie.
The Butterfly Effect 2 (2006)
The acting in this movie was SOOOO BAD!
The acting in this movie was sooooo seriously bad! How do I go back in time to prevent this movie from every being made? It has nothing to do with the original. I've seen kids in high school plays act better than the cast of this movie. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself not to watch this movie because I wasted 90 minutes of my life on it.
The Meg (2018)
Another typical worship the White male hero cringefest from Hollywood.
I can't believe those Chinese idiots funded a film like this. Cliche characters and cringy interactions between them propping up the White male lead.
Glad I watched the download instead of contributing money to this garbage. Turtle bum needs to be put out to pasture.
Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)
IMDb's star rating thing is broken on this movie, so I'm forced to write a review.
Maybe all the low ratings broke it?
Hollywood should have stopped giving money to Michael Bay after Transformers 3. I paid $4 for my ticket and that included popcorn and a T-shirt. Even that was too much. This movie just dragged. Writing and pacing were terrible. The action scenes were cluttered. The dialogue bantering was REALLY bad and awkward; none of the character interactions felt like they could form cohesive sentences.
You could tell Bay was like "Hey this idea would look good. let's throw it in ..hmmm..... HERE." "Let's throw this other idea in ...let me see...... HERE" .. "AHA I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA!!!! let's put it here!!!!!!"
Pretty soon, you have the most discombobulated movie you'll ever have seen.
Try fitting... WW2 Nazis, knights, dinosaurs, Robocop ED-209's, car chases, submarine clashes, underwater space ships, air-to-air battles, dragons, love story, secret organizations, random Goonies kids, 20 new transformer characters, drone fights, magic wands, anti-gravity action, time-warping, alien-god with no backstory, cringeworthy sexual innuendos and racial stereotypes, and military Overwatch soldiers into a 2 hour movie that feels like it's 4 hours long.
I dare you. Not an entertaining or fun movie. Just A BIG EFFIN MESS. I want my $4 back!
The Pyramid (2014)
The trailer was 100x better than the actual movie.
There hasn't been an Egyptian themed adventure-horror styled movie (like, "The Mummy" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120616/combined) in a long time, so when the trailer for this movie came out, I was excited to see it.
This film is so bad that I had to write a review for it. This is my first review. That's how bad this film is. Okay, so where do I start? Or, rather who the hell do we blame for this rubbish??
How about the lead actress? I think that's a fair place to start. Ashley Hinshaw definitely isn't sore on the eyes but her acting will make every part of your body sore with cringing pain. I actually tried muting the audio and turned on the subtitles to see if that would help, but her acting was still so bad that even the mute button couldn't fix it.
Unfortunately, the rest of the cast could not carry the film either. Which leads me to believe that the director, whatever his/her name is, should seriously consider a career in ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE CINEMA INDUSTRY.
The script reads like a natural conversation my niece would have with her friends...except that she's four. So, imagine four year olds on an Egyptian expedition conversing with one another and that's how naturally the script flows...because, four year olds tend to cut each other and everyone else off a lot because they just learned this new skill called, "talking" and are really excited to use it.
Was this movie made by YouTubers? Actually, that would be insulting YouTube film makers.