Raptor in Black's Reviews

Barbarella (1968)

5 March 2003

Really and truly, this could be the plot of one of the more "high-brow" types of porn. I watched this with a bunch of other girls for a class, and we could not stop laughing the entire time.

See Jane Fonda meet men from around the galaxy, and have sex with them! Dare your friends to count how many times she changes her costume!! Sparks deep philosophical discussion, like what exactly the writers were on when they wrote this. Great fun, not to be missed!

75 out of 107 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

eXistenZ (1999)

Would have been better if it had had a budget...

20 February 2003

I watched this movie for a science fiction class, thus I went in well prepaired to analyze philosophical themes and discuss the post-modernist elements in a genre of cyberpunk blah blah blah...

I have to say my overall reaction is that I don't like the movie, but I can appreciate it. It is kind of a cliche Mess With Reality movie (or at least cliche by today's standards) but it does it in such an unusual way. I was disgusted and intrigued by the organic pods, as well as that mutant-bone gun. I love scifi that deals with the ideas of genetic and organic technology, so was hoping for more. Unfortunately, besides the glowing thingy that Law pulled out of his pocket, there wasn't anything else.

The problem that stuck out most to me was that all these futuristic elements are juxtaposed against a regular, redneck-country backdrop with barns, farmhouses, and crappy cars. It was confusing and jarring. My guess it that they didn't get much of a budget, or spent it all on the pods, so made do by location-shooting in one town for the entire time. Many of the extras, expecially the people in the church during the testing, look like just a bunch of locals they hired.

I would have been much more engrossed if they had taken the pains to make it a real futuristic society, with plot twists more dramatic than going to a chinese resturant. It would make the videogame aspect of it mesh more with today's ideas of what an escapism game should be, as well.

0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

10/10

This movie made me a fan of the books...

20 October 2002

I've been a fan of sci-fi and fantasy since the first time I ever picked up a book. But years ago, when I honestly tried to read the LOTR books, I just couldn't get into them. The first book was pondorous and slow and I couldn't get a feel for who was who. Thus, I gave up. And so, when this movie came out, I expected a computer-graphics and cinemegraphic feast, but a plot that would only get the true, long, hard-core fans of the books engaged.

I was totally wrong.

I sat through most of the movie with my mouth open. Literally. The plot is epic, archetypcally epic, and I was astounded by the great sense of scale that the movie conveys. The dialouge, which had once confused and bored me in written form, made much more sense with skilled actors dictating it on screen with emotion and emphasis.

And the eye-candy...sweet gods, the eye candy. The landscape was perfectly chosen, and the cinematography literally the best I have ever seen in a movie. Ever. All the flyover shots and battle-scenes were visionary. The CGI was exquisite, in my expert opinion. When the Balrog came on screen, I sat up in my chair with an open, shocked smile on my face the likes of which I haven't done since I saw Jurassic Park in the theater in 3rd grade. The movie had me totally engaged, and I vivdly remember glancing at my watch half-way in and thinking to myself, "Excellent! We still have another good hour or so to go!"

Afterwards, over Winter Break, I went to the library and checked out the books again. Now the plot made much more sense, as I had mental images of the characters and places. I am anxiously awaiting the next two movies, and am proud to say that I am a Fan.

1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Dark Harbor (1998)

Watch it for Rickman. The rest is merely incidental.

17 October 2002

I went into this movie knowing fully well what I was getting myself into. I had read all the reviews here, I knew the ending, but being one of the few Rickman movies I hadn't seen I had to see it anyway. In all, it was alright. Mind you, I watched it on TV while packing for college, so I was only listening most of the time, and thus I didn't get the long, drawn-out boring effect. There is a lot of subtle foreshadowing to the ending that makes it a decent attempt at film art. Rickman has a surprisingly large amount of funny throw-away lines. ("I made you toast." "I don't want toast." "But you always have toast!" "Well today I don't, so the next time you want to make a broad generalization you can say I *almost* always have toast!") Despite the drama and tension, lines like that had me laughing outloud. Anyway, if it's on TV, and it's free, see it. Why not.

4 out of 9 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Soul Music (1997)

Yes, you read that right, I am an American fan of Pratchett...

14 August 2002

After stumbling across Pratchett completely by accident two years ago ("Sourcery" was my first book), I underwent a 5-month long intensive crash course in getting *anything* discworld that I could get my hands on. This was quite a feat, as not all the books were published in America at that time. Once I got all the books, my fervor diminished to an extent, but it was still enough to inspire me to actually *buy* both the Soul Music and Wyrd Sister's DVDs.

I was hesistant to watch Soul Music for fear that it would destroy my mental image of my favorite Pratchett book. But between the two, Soul Music does a better job of adapting the book and pacing the jokes. I felt that Wyrd Sisters was a little too rushed, and some jokes were even mumbled at points. Soul Music favored pacing over cramming in every little detail. (My favorite part is probably the scene where Death is talking with the guru-guy on the mountain and they're arguing about the color of the infinite.) The musical numbers were quite entertaining as well, and I loved how each of the tour concerts they did had a specific parody theme. The casting was good and bad. Susan was good, the Band members were good, though I do agree that the Dean and Quoth the raven grated on my nerves very quickly. Christopher Lee as Death totally made up for any poor jobs in casting, and in fact it was these movies that introduced me to Lee and made me realize how cool he is. And suuure, the animation is, frankly, weak-sauce. However, though I enjoy artful quality as much as the next guy, you don't need eye-candy to tell a good story.

14 out of 14 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)

8/10

It seems that what Austin Powers is mostly parodying now is...Austin Powers.

29 July 2002

Warning: Spoilers

**Uber-Spoilers**

My newspaper's movie review made this comment about the movie, and after seeing it I am highly inclined to agree. Still, i found it very funny and entertaining. Better than the 2nd, though still not as good as the 1st.

There is a fine line between re-hashed jokes and running gags, and in my opinion this movie leans more towards the latter. The jokes are made with a tounge-in-cheek attitude, indicating that the writers know that its the same stuff and know that we know its the same stuff and want us to know that they know that we know its the same stuff. In comparison, MiB2 failed because it slipped in old jokes and acted like it didn't know they were the same. For example, in Austin Powers 3 there is yet again the old thing with Dr. Evil and Scott trying to hold a conversation in which half of the dialouge is Dr. Evil trying to shut Scott up, but in this case once the exchange starts, Scott essentually goes, "Oh ok, I know how this goes, I say something, then you go ziipshhh!, and then I go..." Thus, it becomes more of an in-joke than anything else.

There are a lot of original cameos and pop culture references, most of which were lost on the teeny-bopper crowd I saw the movie with (there was a girl who actually had a Britney Spears shirt on and who shot me an angry glance when me and my friends boo'ed as Britney came on screen). I mean, apparantly I was the only one in the theater who knows who Nathan Lane and Michael Caine are, and while I saw the Mr. Roboto reference coming from a mile off, for the most part it didn't even get a giggle from the rest of the theater. I guess they were too busy laughing at the wang jokes and at Goldmember eating his own flaking skin (Where the hell did that come from, anyway!?)

I gave the movie an 8 out of 10 because I enjoyed it, which is what counts, and because of the part when Scott opened the tank on the floor and I, along with my friends, immediately squealed, "Sharks with laser-beams!!! :D"

1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Lilo & Stitch (2002)

8/10

I laughed more during this movie than during MIB2...

6 July 2002

Lilo & Stitch is a welcome breath of fresh air for anyone, like myself, that has fallen out of touch with Disney animated movies. (I mean, if asked to name the most recent Disney movies, I would answer, "Um, well there was Lion King...then Mulan was in there somewhere...oh and that Hercules one...I think...")

Even though the story deals with an alien convict crash-landing on Kauai, this movie is so much more *real* then any other Disney movie I can think of. The issue of a family being broken up by the death of the parents is real. The eccentric and understandably child-like actions and feelings of Lilo as she tries to fit in are real. Even the style of the characters is more real, since it seems that Disney animators have finally discovered that women don't all have waists the diameter of a soda can.

Sure, people say that the plot makes itself too neat sometimes, but I think that adds to the humor. I thought the ending was all that much funnier for all the loose ends being tied up in wierd ways. The art, too, was mesmorizing. I adored the watercolor renditions of Hawaiian landscapes. The songs, both Elvis and hawaiian-style background music, are very nice as well, and I for one don't miss the long and drawn-out musical sequences that have been Disney's claim to fame.

Anyway, bottom line, if four cynical and jaded teenagers can have more fun at this movie than at MIB2, then *anyone* can, and I recommend it to everyone.

1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Vanilla Sky (2001)

1/10

Hands down worst movie I've ever seen

27 May 2002

When I walked out of the theater after seeing this movie, I was amazed that I had only lost two hours of my life. It had seemed like a whole lot more. I have to hand it to the movie, though, cause it does try to be all cryptic and philosophical like other "artsy" movies, but it is poorly executed. The whole thing comes off as some disastrous emotional roller-coaster, with the light, clear parts being slashed through suddenly and unexpectedly with the darker "mystery" parts. It's as if the movie is trying to play itself out with a normal linear plotline and only occasionaly decides to remind us that nope, it's actually an "artsy" movie and here, we'll prove that by being all depressing for a little bit... I would literally have walked out if not for the fact that my ride was actually, for some reason, *enjoying* the movie. The last half hour almost, MAYBE redeemed it in my eyes, but it seems too added-on. If the entire movie had been done with that lightly sci-fi flavor, then perhaps it would have worked. As is, though, the ending was just bizarre and unexpected. This movie has also creeped me out on Cameron Diaz for the rest of time.

0 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Intern (2000)

8/10

The best movie that I've ever seen by accident

27 May 2002

I stumbled across this movie by accident one day on TV and, after finding nothing else better, decided to watch it. Although it's not the best scripted movie in the world, I still found it cute and entertaining. The random cameos from top fashion designers were funny, and I can now proudly say to all my friends that I know what Tommy Hilfiger actually looks like. I was surprised to see many recognizable supporting actors, and they might be the most entertaining part of the movie. I would definately recommend it to someone, so long as they didn't have to pay too much to rent it.

2 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Raptor in Black

Reviews

Tell Your Friends

Recently Viewed