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Grimcutty (2022)
A New Standard In Borror
Have you ever seen a movie that's so unbelievably bad that it's actually kind of ironically enjoyable? That is not this movie. Have you ever seen a movie that's so bad that it actually transcends the "so bad it's good" label and just makes you melt into a great big puddle of cringe? That would be this movie. It is so unbelievably boring, the acting so inconceivably amateur, the writing so unexplainably asinine... I honestly haven't seen something so stupid in some time.
The Grimcutty monster is ridiculous. In fact it's hilarious in its appearance. It looks like an amateur CGI "artists" miserable attempt to create one of the turtles from the 1990's TMNT movie. If I hired somebody to work on my movie and they came up with this ridiculous monstrosity, I would sue them for emotional damage. Twice.
The ASMR thing is vomit inducing. For those who don't know, the main character is an ASMR content creator. And I may just be not very hip with the times, but the idea of ASMR is so cringy. And the fact that this woman can't act makes it cringer, if cringer is even a real word (autocorrect doesn't mind it). It's creepy, but not "oh I'm watching spooky horror movie" kind of creepy, but "oh I have weird fetish for whispering" kind of creepy. I don't like it. Very stupid.
The monster apparently gets it power by feeding off parental fear, so the moral, apparently, is something like "never worry about your kids or you'll make them kill themselves" or some other such nonsense, being obviously written by someone who doesn't have kids or worse someone who's quite bad at raising them. It all starts when a blogger starts suggesting "detoxing" from technology for a short period of time. This crazy, controlling, even fascist behavior (I'm not kidding; the movie describes this behavior as fascist on two, non-consecutive occasions) conjures a demon or something that strikes back at the fascists by cutting kids and sometimes suiciding them. The only way to defeat is either to stop worrying about your kids or for the kids to straight up murder concerned parents (again, not kidding), which movie portrays as something concerned parents deserve. Yes, deserve. So don't take your kids phones or that might have to kill you. Makes sense. If you don't agree, you're a fascist.
Which reminds me; if I hear one more person unironically describe non-fascist behaviors as fascist I might explode. Like just imagine surviving all of the horror of 40's Germany and having some punk tell you that taking their phone is the equivalent of that actual dystopian nightmare that you had experienced. It's legitimately insulting.
The acting is terrible, I may have added, and there are no scares in the whole movie, cheap scares or otherwise. If I could rate this a zero I'd be complaining that this site won't let me rate in the negatives. If I could rate as such, I'd be complaining that such negatives don't go to infinity. There is no ranking to low for this absolute garbage.
0/10. Do not watch.
American Dad!: Son of Stan (2010)
The Moral of the Story is be Stupid
I suppose every show must have a few duds after airing over 100 episodes. With that point being made, this episode capital S-U-C-K, suck, suck, sucks. The side story, wherein Roger tries to irritate Hailey and Jeff into giving him their $50,000 from the previous episode, is relatively funny, I suppose, but the side story, wherein Stan and Francine compete to see who's the better parent is positively ridiculous, unfunny, and just plain stupid. The two's quarrel revolves around whether Stan's strictness or Francine's leniency is the better way to raise Steve after Hailey's eloping. Even though the answer is obviously "don't let kids do whatever", the story acts like the two are both bad, with Stan's method turning clone Steve, named Steverino to distinguish, into a cat murdering, head-juggling, Steve-kidnapping sociopath. The moral seems to be "don't set any high expectations for your kids, and only be strict when they are literally farting on their own mother." It's just ridiculous. Seth obviously doesn't have any kids and it shows. This really stuoid lesson would be less "ugh"-inspiring if the episode at least had some humor thrown in there, but it doesn't. It's as unfunny as a German Prime Minister in South Park. Its all lame attempts at shock laughs like Steve winning a "spanky" for "pulling it 11 times in one day" or Roger arriving in Thailand and ordering "3 12-years old boys with no MSG". Obviously off-color humor is no stranger to this show, but there is a difference between off-color humor and "jokes" where the shock value is the only actual punchline. There's a difference between South Park and Terrance & Phillip. You dig? Apparently S Mac does not dig. The long and short is the episode is not very good. 2/10. Very no good.