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wallflowernova
Reviews
Impostor (2001)
Wow, this movie was bad-wrong
2 for getting 2 pretty decent actors to be in a limply written, painfully dull 'movie'. I don't even have the strength to write all that is wrong and bad and bad-wrong about it. But, since I'm here, how about the monotonous dialogue or the over acting? And by the way, don't they pay people to edit movies so unnecessary parts get chopped out so we don't have to sit through them wondering when they're going to actually offer something interesting? OK, so first: Find a good screenwriter that isn't being paid with heroin (cause I'm assuming he was focusing on a fix and not the script), second: If you don't care about how your actors are 'acting', just save your money and hire Steven Seagal, he'll mumble his way through and kick butt with a bored look on his face. Third (and most importantly) edit, edit the movie like your job depended on it. Hint:not important? cut the sucker. If you want to see a good sci-fi movie, watch Pitch Black or Bladerunner, just stay away from this straight to video crap. Blech! Ahh, I feel a little better now.
King of the Ants (2003)
messed me up for days-it was great!
Ok, so I'm probably the wrong person to rate this since I think the main character is absolutely gorgeous, but I do love an offbeat revenge-type movie. So the basic outline is the main character is kind of a drifter, he does odd jobs while he floats along in life until he's offered a job by the town sleaze ball to kill an accountant who's digging up dirt on him. He does the deed (Dirty Deeds done dirt cheap could have been this characters motto) and then gets stiffed by the sleaze ball (another Baldwin brother-where do these guys come from? There's always a new one popping up!)He decides to blackmail the guy for his pitiful fee and things go downhill fast. It's a little shaky in some parts, the fact that George Wendt (George Wendt!) takes down a 6'3" man is laughable; and that an only slightly nervous Sean (main character) allows himself to be dragged to a shed in the middle of the desert where a lousy bout of beatings befall him I thought was somewhat unrealistic (shock, maybe?) All in all though, if you want to talk unrealistic, watch "Independence Day", I'll let this stuff slide. SLIGHT SPOILER The best part of this film is a disturbing scene where after quite a few beatings, Sean silently ties the nasty piece of mattress padding around his head in preparation for the blow he's about to get to the head. That part stuck with me for days and because it didn't require any brilliant dialogue or fancy location shot, it made an impact on me for what I thought of the whole movie. Enjoy!
Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)
this is a "Mexi-can't"
Hey, I like Robert Rodriguez, he gave us Desperado, Spy Kids and From Dusk Til Dawn. But, uh, what was this crap? It cycles around with over the top action, little 'fluff' dialogue and skips over character development. Johnny Depp is the only character that seems to have substance, and it's pretty weak. (Yeah, I think anyone can have their eyes gouged out, get shot in the arm and twice in one leg and still make a snappy comment while standing on their own.) I guess everyone's entitled to having a crappy movie, but hey, Robert, lets not make this a regular thing, ok?
Timeline (2003)
An affront to Michael Crichton!!
Did someone accidentally forget to let Michael Crichton in on this screenplay? I cannot imagine how anyone who did not already read the book grasped much of what was going on in this movie. Yes, you can only put so much of a book onto the screen, but COME ON! They even left the best part of the book out, the jousting tournament! You had almost no background on ANY of the characters, nothing to build on; ideas were gutted from the book and slopped onto the screen in a brisk, here-ya-go! cafeteria style manner.
All I can say is, I'm astounded there are actually people who are gung-ho for this movie, as I feel bitter that I was excited for months waiting to see this movie and all I got was a sore mouth from constantly gritting my teeth in frustration. Do yourself a favor and read the book-if you want to see a M.C. movie, watch Jurassic Park or The 13th Warrior.
House of Cards (1993)
skip this movie!
Wow, first may I say how much this movie blew. Maybe it's because I'm familiar with child psychology, but the whole story-line was one big disaster. This movie has nothing to do with autism, (I noticed a reference to that in other comments from viewers) they pretty much thrust you into the movie, the girl is traumatized by her fathers death, (which she didn't see) and the idea is given at the end that the girl is able to see her fathers death through her mother when she is looking at her (telepathy?) and suddenly, she's healed! Tommy Lee Jones being the psychologist doesn't do it, the architect mom does. Sorry, but I'm not an idiot. That doesn't happen in the real world. Anyone who liked this movie probably also thought "Attack of The Killer Tomatoes" was representative of why we should monitor the: food Vs. genetics issues. Rent something like "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" to cleanse your cinematic palate and give yourself some well deserved laughs. I gave it a rating of two just because I like Mr Jones.