Reviews

I don't know where to begin with this movie, there is a lot of content. I have heard criticisms of the shortened "western" version, but truthfully in the fully cut, some scenes just seem to go on and on. The initial "skirmish" With Cao Cao's 2000 troops seems to last an hour between prep, setup and the actual battle scene. I was definitely wishing the movie would get on with it (even during the action sequences). To compound matters, areas like this battle scene weren't really important for anything. You just spent an hour setting the stage for this battle, the action gets boring, but then all it amounts to is "the guy was testing us". Really? Is this the best use of screen time? Also, as an American with a cursory knowledge of Chinese culture, there is only so much philosophy I can take. It's not the philosophy itself, but it's laid on so thick and obvious as to be elementary. Perhaps it's the translation or the subtitles but if I'm on the outside looking in and feel like I'm being talked down to, how must a native Chinese feel? There was nothing ground-breaking, thought-provoking, or otherwise enticing about the moral codes, philosophical quotations or musing. Many of the scenes felt forced and a little wooden despite solid character performances.

Also, I'm not a big John Woo fan. I've tried to get into previous films like "The Killer", "Paycheck" and others. You get the director trademarks in a setting that isn't entirely familiar which is neat to see, but like other films, it just seems contrived and dated. Many of the dialog scenes are forced. The action goes on too long and frankly doesn't show much originality. By the time you get to the end, the face-off (face-offs?) between protagonist and antagonist are extremely anti-climactic.

Tony Leung is just a little too unemotional. I don't generate any feelings for his character. I get that his portrayal as such may be intentional, but frankly it just makes his character a little dull and one-dimensional. It also takes away from his philosophical musings and insightful strategic maneuvers because I just don't care. Kaneshiro is acceptable as his character, but truthfully he needed more development. Ironic as he probably has the most individual screen time. He just stands around with a weird smirk and looks like he has to fart whenever he is about to say something. Cao Cao was probably my favorite individual character, but again, the focus on his character was wrong. You don't see his motivations and thought processes for the most part, just his evil acts. It's a strange contrast between the protagonists who are constantly stressing strategy and unity. The female characters all start with potential but also dither into stereotypes and roles that have been done before, which is too bad because I felt that their portrayals were more convincing than the male leads who maintain most of the plot's focus.

As a whole the movie is entertaining enough to get you through it's runtime without feeling too rundown. However, for a movie closer to 5 hours than 4 (but only just) it seems like it can never decide what it wants to be. As such it either needs to be longer (ouch) to develop its roles further, or shorter to cut out a lot of fluff. This isn't a wire-fu movie, the action is tame and there's nothing really new here in any facet. Woo fans may be glad to see him back in action, but if this movie isn't screaming at you to watch it, you're probably better off spending your time with something else.

I didn't have any expectations for this movie, but 52 people have it a 7.9, it was free, so I figured I'd give it a go. Blah. The good news is Eliza Dushku has nice legs, and now I want a Denver omelet. An hour and 20 minutes of poor acting, weak lines, and a forced pill of controversy don't do much for me. Macaulay's mannerisms seem terribly forced, but at least it seemed like he tried. He failed, but he tried. The rest of the cast was forgettable, there are several pointless scenes and what's more, the film tries to focus on sex. The awkwardness was decently conveyed, but without spoiling a movie short on content, the ending really just treats it as a red herring. Sex and relationships, at least make up your mind what your movie is about before you shoot it, because whoever wrote this obviously wasn't talented enough to include both. Eh, at least there was some Sea Wolf in there.

This line from Jack, sums this movie up perfectly. I feel like I had a full frontal lobotomy after seeing this movie. I was nearly brought to tears by this film. Not from emotion, I don't think there's an actor in the film who could elicit that, but from how much money must have been spent on this travesty.

From the ridiculous opening scene with the dubbed over song, to the utterly pointless end battle, this movie had more in common with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas than Pirates of the Caribbean. In fact, I've probably seen people on acid make more sense. Getting married in the middle of a battle? WHAT THE HELL?!?! And speak more clearly. The combination of mumbling and accents in this movie was a blessing in disguise to spare us from more trite and terrible dialog. Now put that to cannon fire and you have a truly unintelligible 3 hours of spoken line. And speaking of cannons, do they have any effect in this universe? 3 films, roughly 7 hours of film, each containing firefights and not one ship sinks, not one character apparently dies, from cannon fire! Until the very end, when it happens in about 2 seconds. I can't even form a coherent thought on this movie, that's how bad it, and the effect it had on me is. This is simply the worst movie I've seen since Ultraviolet. I wish there was a rating worse than 1 star.

I firmly believe that with the exception of Lord of the Rings, and possibly X-Men, the 21st century is destroying trilogies and sequels as we know them. Pirates, Star Wars, Spiderman 3, The Matrix, all gone to hell. I only pray that the Bourne Ultimatum is spared.

I understand this is a graphic novel, and no I have not read it. But if the movie is remotely based on it, I just don't see who thought it could translate well to film. There was not a single original idea in this film. And to top it all off, you blow stuff up to the 1812 overture? Come on! Throw in CG motion trails on knives, and a love admission eerily reminiscent of the original Matrix, and this thing just overloads on cheese. The themes of good and evil, the symbolism is so over-explained and illustrated in this movie that it's almost insulting. Combine that with a ridiculous and overly simplistic plot and you get not only a numb backside, but a numb head as well. From the first moments of alliteration abuse, to the final tones of the 1812 overture, this movie is simply dull and fails to entertain. If you want to make a movie filled with anti-government and media propaganda, next time stick to a pamphlet in my opinion.

I wanted to like this film so badly, but as I watched, my opinion started high and just started a steady decline. I simply thought this movie tried to be too artsy and self-important for it's own good. It's not a thought that struck me at first as everything about this film is done so subtley. Bill Murray himself doesn't disppoint, he did a great job in this film. A picture says a thousand words and so many of his expressions were just priceless. However the chemistry between his character and Charlotte was simply non-existant in my opinion. They had no interaction, they had no life altering discussions, their relationship amounted to the same value of two people staying up late getting drunk and discussing the world. Which is exactly what this movie is, it just happens to be in Japan. What a bunch of garbage that keeps movie critics in business.

This movie was just plain bad. I enjoyed the first one, tolerated the second one. The third one has no excuse, even the hilarious Eugene Levy was just a tired character. Each and every returning actor in this movie looked so bored and tired, and no wonder. Every seen I was looking to see if S.W. Scott was going to kill himself, having to play Stifler one more time. His performance was just plain bad, and that pretty much sums up everything else in the movie. Retarded attempts to make fun of itself, horrible writing, no plot cohesion, awkward scene transitions, bad jokes, worse one-liners. I couldn't even recommend this trash as a rental.

I've been really looking forward to this film since i first heard about it last November and I must say, I am rather disappointed. All I have heard about this movie is praise, but I just don't get it. The only saving grace for this film was colin farrell's acting, which was done well enough to be convincing, but still felt empty. Though it was nothing next to the hollowness of the chemistry of the characters. from Stu Shepherd's aide, to his wife, Pam, even the sinister voice, there was nothing. And to me, this is what brought this film down, I sat through the movie bored, because I couldn't care about any of these characters, and I didn't believe it. Not to mention the retarded idea of bringing in the police chief's personal problems, boy was that awkward. and ugly. Throw in the hasty ending that seems to have no thought behind it and you have yourself 81 minutes of a flick that is worth a watch, but certainly won't be going anywhere, or resurrecting Joel Shumacher's career.

This movie isn't worth the time it takes me to post this. I only say anything to stop others from going through this torture. Cruel Intentions meets Dazed and Confused wannabes by a horrid, talent devoid, although attractive actors/actresses. There is no point to this movie, it completely misses any mark it was aiming for. It's not dark, it's not funny, it's not a great satire of culture, it's not worth the time and money spent on it to be filmed. I'd rather watch a monkey fling poo on a crash test dummy. You have been warned.

WOW! I was impressed, as an avid fan of American Psycho I was expecting a cheap knock off that abused the original name but did I ever underestimate this waste of film. From the horrible plot, to the excruciating dialogue, to the detestable character interactions, this movie Stunk with a capital S. (bad inside joke, you'll understand if you've seen he movie). However if you thought the line was lame, just wait til you see the movie, I do believe it set a new record for the most cliched movie ever. Or better yet, just rewatch the great film that the original was and if you still feel the need for a bad film that not even the mindless teenie boppers would enjoy, go see Jason X or something. I'd rather pay twice the admissions fee for that then to have a free copy of this DVD.