Change Your Image
g-pala
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Furious 6 (2013)
America saves the World..... again.
Obviously the target audience of these films (13 to 17 year olds) have never driven a car, never mind one of those mysterious "stick shifts"..... Anyway, this film has every cliche known to man..... cool black guys, muscle bound American meat heads, hot pant wearing bimbos and evil Brits (The British are always evil, right?).
I suggest you watch this film, just in case you've watched too many good films recently. It will allow you to recalibrate your brain to realise what is wonderful, and what is (sorry) complete dross.
I'm going to to drive my (stick-shift) car soon and find out if it just goes faster and faster every time I change up a gear and try and make that clunky rifle-bolt sound every time I press the clutch.
Top Gear: Episode #29.2 (2020)
Tired? No, terminally fatigued.
Very tired show now. The new crew are trying desperately hard to emulate Clarkson, May and Hammond and as a result it feels like it's all been done before. Humour is a subjective thing, and in my mind they're not getting that right. It's lost the winning formula now and I suspect the BBC will scrap it before it gets to Series 31.
Joker (2019)
Overrated
When adjectives such as 'masterpiece' are used to describe a film you would expect to be watching The Godfather. But The Godfather this ain't. Theres a story, but no real closure. It was just dark and gloomy narrative about how the Joker came to be. If you're a Batman aficionado this will probably strike a chord with you, but I'm someone who has pretty much no interest in the Marvel franchise.
On the plus side, amazing cinematography and music. But would I have paid to go and see it again? No.
Frasier (1993)
Pretentious, pompous and unfunny
Awful. I pretended for years to like this TV tosh just to keep my girlfriend happy. Kelsey Grammer obviously believes he's a stylish, sophisticated cut-above kind of chap who is irresistible to women, both in real life and TV studio. They crowd round him, and he indulges them in eating out in sophisticated restaurants, where they have a "maître d'" and "wine list". American audiences must love this, but over here in Europe it's just pretentious and awkward. The jokes and dialogue are very predictable, and the canned laughter tiresome. I can also assure everyone in The States that Daphne's British accent is about as convincing as Frasier's comb-over.
Still, humour is a very subjective thing, but I'll stick to my Alan Partridge, Sasha Baron-Cohen and The Office. The only good news is that this series isn't being made anymore. Phew!
Michael Palin in North Korea (2018)
Insightful
Bewilderingly there have been some pretty mediocre reviews of this mini series, with one suggesting Michael doesn't do enough to criticise the DPRK's poor record on human rights. In actual fact he asks some pretty probing and difficult questions, which leaves his minders squirming while still managing to remain very charming and non confrontational. Anyway, I didn't feel this programme needed to be about N Korea's political stance, brutalilty or isolation, but did well to connect with the country's people and gave me optimism that one day some reunification will be possible. An insight into a country that you won't find anywhere else- recommended viewing.
This Time with Alan Partridge (2019)
Slow Start but Welcome Back Alan
Okay I'm a fan, and have been hooked on Partridge now for twenty-five years, but sadly thought the first two episodes were wide of the mark. I was about to give up, but by episode three Alan was back on form, and last night's episode (No 4) was up there with his best... racist old ladies being cut off on air, Monty Don being set up on a corruption charge, and an Irish Alan Partridge doppelganger taking over the show with a pro-Republic song; "It's like an advert for the IRA declared a worried Alan".
Stick with it Partridge lovers, you'll fall back in love!
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
Abysmal sequel
I'm old enough to remember the first Mad Max (1979), which despite being low budget was also original, enthralling and exciting. Things started to go off the boil a little with Mad Max two, but by the time the third arrived (with a wailing Tina Turner) I assumed the final nail was in the post-apocolyptic Australian coffin lid.
So, here we are in 2015 and this bewildering, feministic, camp, ridiculous, over-dramatised and CGI'd-to-death abomination has arrived. The camp-ness first appeared in no 2, but this is has an underlying BDSM theme that i"m sure many "specialist" websites could plagiarise.
The fantasy was stretched well beyond the elastic limit, but can somebody please explain to me what that flame-throwing electric guitar player was doing? Lactating mums? Chastity belts? I could go on, but I don't really have the time. Other reviewers have managed to summon the time and energy, and I admire their patience and diligence.
If you want sequels, stick with the Godfather.
Are You Being Served? (1972)
The worst remnants of a bad time
Awful, truly awful. As a little boy in the 1970's there was very little on TV, but we had to endure this. Even before the concept of political correctness had emerged I found the relentless smutty innuendo and gay suggestion dull, repetitive and predictable.
What a waste- and all this from a time when Fawlty Towers was being produced. There was other stuff on TV to keep an eight-year old entertained.
How this ran for a decade is beyond comprehension. I guess it's Americans giving this show great reviews- just what must they think of us Brits?
Only God Forgives (2013)
I hope God does forgive
I'm not a film director- obviously. But films like this make me think I still have time to review my career options. Judging the reviews for this film it's obviously a bit of a love it or hate it affair. I'm with the latter.
Anyway, this genre has been done to death now. Long moody silences and heartless killers who manage not to blink for ninety minutes. Cool. Still, that's the life of the international drug dealer eh? There were the sounds of what may have been gasps from the audience during less slow bits, but I was probably being optimistic. The film was so slow and quiet it was probably just viewers stifling a yawn.
I can't be too harsh though and give it two stars- the cinematography and background soundtrack were superb. Be warned though, there's better things to do on a Friday night.
From Paris with Love (2010)
America saves the World.
What on Earth is going on here? This film contains every cliché, every bit of corny dialogue and every racial stereotype it's possible to squeeze in. Do we really need another gun-toting, "hyper-intelligent", action hero to save us poor hopeless Europeans? At some points in the film there were so many bullets flying our hero would have at least died of lead poisoning should he not have ducked behind flimsy wooden crates. And while we are on the subject of chemistry, there is absolutely none at all between any of the characters. I can't give this one star- there is worse around, but this makes the Die Hard quadrilogy look like a cinematic masterpiece.
Director Luc Besson? Hang your head in shame.
Australia (2008)
Fumbling Antipodean nonsense....
I couldn't really decide what this film was, comedy, romance, historical, anti-racial discrimination statement, or epic docudrama. Of course Nicole Kidman is stunning, but the whole film is so painfully clichéd I felt at many times I could predict what would be said next. The film starts well enough, but then fumbles along clumsily. Australia is a huge place, and perhaps they would like people to believe that you can travel a thousand miles down a dirt track at little more that walking pace in a few hours, or that King George (the mystical Aboriginal grandfather) would be capable of magically appearing everywhere. Nor could I understand why Nullah the young Aborigine boy seemed to stay aged ten despite his adoptive father spending years going away droving cattle. This would be bad enough of course, but I was expecting the film to end at the ninety minute part, only to slowly realise that new ideas were being thrown into the hat. With little more effort they could have gone the whole way and made this the full "Airplane/Naked Gun" format, but to my horror it soon dawned on me that this was a serious, high budget attempt.
There's an awful lot more you can do in three hours, and personally it would be a more sensible option to wait until it comes out on television, or DVD (which surely won't be long?). I suspect the Directors of this were vain enough to believe that they'd created a masterpiece, but to my mind they're sadly misguided.