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Reviews
Gantz (2004)
Wow, hilariously bad
Totally bizarre character behavior, nonsense dialogue, incredibly bad pacing, slow action, no likable or relatable characters at all, terrible animation.
What Gantz does right:
- Fun premise.
- Gantz itself (the character or object or whatever it is) is hilarious.
- Plenty of violence and nudity and foul language. Never feels like the show is pulling punches.
- The set up for the second mission is awesome, introducing a whole bunch of characters with no connection at all, but somewhat compelling stories, then they all die at the same time before Gantz takes them.
- The action is so bad that, once you get past the frustration, its pretty hilarious.
What Gantz does wrong:
- The characters actions and motivations make no sense.
- The dialogue is rambly and confusing.
- The ending makes no sense.
- TONS of loose ends at the end of the show.
- The action is incredibly bad. Seriously, this is the show's biggest problem.
Here's how each mission goes: "Oh, there is the alien we need to kill" "I'm going to shoot it," *points gun* *45 seconds later* "Wait, don't shoot.. I'll shoot it." *another character points his gun* "Wait! We need to come up with a plan first." "Oh no! It capture some guy!" "Don't worry! I won't let anyone get killed! We are all going back alive!" "Oh no! He's dead!" "Nooo!!" "Ok, I'm going to shoot it!" *points gun* *45 seconds later* "Wait! Don't shoot! ... I'll shoot it."
Literally, ever single time a character vows to rescue someone in danger, they fail and somebody gets killed, there are a total of _ZERO_ successful rescues in the entire show.
Then, the ending is weird and abstract and stupid. Nothing is explained or resolved in any way at all. What is Gantz? What's up with the guy inside Gantz? Who was the old lady that kept asking for subway directions? Is Kurono alive? Are the aliens good or bad?
I think this might objectively be the worst anime I have ever seen.
And yet... for some reason, I want more...
Tomorrow Night (1998)
This is weird
This is a very strange movie. This is possibly the strangest movie I have ever seen. That being said, it is quite enjoyable, especially for fans of Louis C.K.
Some scenes are very funny, you can see Louis C.K.'s humor throughout the film. However, it is really weird, everything is exaggerated greatly in this movie to the point where it barely resembles reality. Definitely not something that everyone will enjoy. If you are a Louis C.K. fan, and are willing to spend some time watching something very different from mainstream movies, watch it. It's only $5, what have you got to lose (besides $5 and an hour and a half)?
Grace (2009)
I watched it, and I have no intention to do so again.
Watching this one once is more than sufficient. That's not to say it's a bad movie, I thought it was quite well done and well acted, as well as an interesting concept, but it was just painful to watch.
Grace is most definitely a horror movie, however, it won't scare you, and it's not suspenseful, and there is no action at all. However, it will make you feel uncomfortable, and you will feel that way throughout the entire movie. The story is not complicated, if you read the IMDb description, then you know pretty much everything that will happen already. However, this is one movie that just can not be "spoiled", because knowing what is going to happen makes anticipating it even more uncomfortable.
If that is what you are looking for, then watch Grace. If you want something scary, don't watch Grace. If you want something ultra violent, don't watch Grace. The problem with Grace is that it technically fits perfectly in the horror movie genre, as it is horrible, it is a horror, however, the feeling it evokes and the motivation you should have for watching it are totally different from all other horror movies. I give it 5 stars because although I think it is a decent movie, I didn't actually enjoy it much, it just made me cringe. Also because I'm not going to sleep tonight, and I'm tired.....
The Devil's Rock (2011)
The world needs more movies like this
Saw this movie the other night, and I loved it. It's such an awesome concept, and it was executed surprisingly well. There aren't enough Nazi/Occult movies these days. I highly recommend this movie if you enjoy supernatural horror movies, Nazi occult/experimentation movies, or anything along those lines. This movie is not for you if you expect a deep story, or crazy high-budget special effects. This movie was made with a low budget, but it really doesn't hinder the movie much; you can see from the cover/posters that the demon looks a little hokey, but in the movie, the demon rarely appears in that form. The gore effects are pretty excellent, although there are very few on-screen deaths in this movie, so you can really enjoy this movie even if you have a weak stomach for that kind of thing. The atmosphere of the movie is pretty awesome and very effective, especially the ritual scenes. The acting seemed really good to me, I was quite impressed. However, its conceivable that I thought that because I'm just not used to listening to a NZ accent. So somebody from New Zealand might have a different opinion (or, they might actually be excellent actors). The ending was the weakest part in my opinion, although, it could have been much worse, and was kind of cool, I just wanted it to be different somehow. Overall, this is almost exactly what I want to see every time I watch a horror movie, it rules.
Road Train (2010)
It's not bad; in fact, its worth watching
Road Train, is not at all an excellent movie, but its worth watching. However, before you watch it, you have to be ready for what you are about to see. This is not a blockbuster with a deep story and unforeseeable, its about a big evil truck, that's about as deep as the story gets. Don't try to use logic, don't expect it to make sense. Don't expect characters to act rationally. Just watch it expecting a story about a truck from Hell (or Hades), that's it. Really, its a very interesting concept, and they do well with making you wonder about what's going on inside the truck, although most people will figure it out quite early.
Pros: Interesting concept, Road train, Truck from Hell (or Hades if you wish to keep your mythologies separate), Blood
Cons: Bad CGI in a couple places (not many), Characters act illogically in many cases (lighting the fire), Loose ends at the end, You won't actually ever be scared, Unnecessary opening scene sets the wrong pace and mood for the movie
So yeah, there are more cons than pros, but really, all the cons can easily be ignored, making the movie quite enjoyable.
I give it a 6/10
Drive Angry (2011)
Drive Angry Rule!
I would love to give this movie a 10/10, I loved every part of it. Its a grind-house-style action film with lots of dead bodies and gun fire and people getting messed up. It features a protagonist who escaped from Hell, a crazy gun called the god-killer, Hell's accountant, a crazy cult, and more people getting messed up. Plus there's also a decent amount of nudity. Those are all the reasons I want to give it a 10/10, but also the reasons why I can give it a 10/10. A 10/10 would be a movie that everyone could watch and love, but really Drive Angry is a movie that only real men can watch and love. Since I am a real man, it rules. Nicholas Cage has done a bunch of movies, but I really think his best films are the ridiculous, violent ones like this. Just so you know, this movie is totally ridiculous, that's what makes it awesome, don't watch it if you want to see a movie with a deep touching story, that simply isn't what this is, nor does it try to be. In fact it doesn't even try to be a decent movie, or have a decent story, instead it just tries to spend every frame being as awesome as possible. If you understand that last sentence, then this movie is for you (and if you hate it, then you didn't understand what I meant). Boom
Untitled Dystopia (2008)
Kinda like it was made my a third grader... but whatever
It seemed like something that would be made by a third grader, its silly, makes no sense, and goes nowhere. The special effects are terrible, they are a lot like my trying to make my own special effects (which I have never done before and would be terrible at). The end is equally silly. The humor isn't that terrible, and is probably the best part of the movie, but at the same time, I felt no desire to laugh at any part of it. The bit in the beginning where Henry talks about life not being so bad was kinda fun for a second, but ultimately led nowhere. However, after all that bad stuff, I feel oddly fulfilled now that I have seen it. It's a strange feeling. It's really not well done or interesting at all, but I can't bring myself to dislike it. Maybe because it feels like watching the imagination of a child, or maybe it was just fun for me to listen to the accents... Whatever, watch it, it will only waste like 6 minutes of your life, you can spare 6 minutes.
The Man from Earth (2007)
good idea, terrible acting, ridiculous dialogue.
I saw another reviewer say "great acting", that's the most ridiculous statement I have heard for at least a few years. When it first started playing, I checked to see if it was originally in another language and only poorly dubbed in English, but no, its just bad acting coupled with horrible unnatural dialogue. Its almost unbearable. If you watch the movie put yourself into any of the listening character's place, imagine what you would feel in their place and you can see how silly their responses are. Just think, people. It's silly. Granted, the idea for the story is good. A man who doesn't age and can give his unique perspective on history as he knew it, that's a neat idea, but the people in this movie just don't act like real people. Here's how real people act: my friend says he is 14,000 years old, I say he's silly, he explains stuff, I listen, I think he's silly or I believe him. The end. I came across this movie while reading about "The Quiet Earth", watch that instead. Or watch "Hancock", if you really want to see a movie about a guy that doesn't age.
The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)
Disgrace to Pitch Black
Chronicles of Riddick looked so good in the previews. It has good visuals, but really, nothing else. Chronicles of Riddick is the sequel to Pitch Black (Dark Fury was between them, and had CoR's flaws as well). Pitch Black was a great sci-fi thriller with horror elements and great character development. It had three scenes which I consider "truly great" (an honor very few films receive, most have 0 "truly great" moments, even if I consider them great movies). CoR is a weird Sci-Fi film that tries to be a cult film, it picks up the story after Pitch Black, and destroys it. In Pitch Black, Riddick is a ruthless murderer, in CoR he is the last remaining of a once great alien race, destined to save the world, tell me that was planned when they made Pitch Black. CoR tries way to hard to be the next Star Wars, and totally fails. The story is extremely hard to follow, very choppy, confusing, and too complicated for a single film. There was no set up for it in Pitch Black, Pitch Black should stand on its own. This movie is not without merit though. Although I really didn't like it, it does have one "truly great" scene in it. I won't give it away, but watch this movie exclusively for the tea cup scene. If you have seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about. Don't watch this movie expecting the story to make sense. I saw this movie before Pitch Black, hated it, Watched Pitch Black (loved it), saw Dark Fury (Also hated, shows how obsessed with Japan/Anime the director is), then watched CoR AGAIN THREE TIMES, and still its an awful movie. No character development, no emotional moments, just more weird alien races (remember Pitch Black had 2 races, Humans and Creatures) and a confusing choppy story. Visuals are good, I will say that.
Summary: I hate this movie for distorting Pitch Black's otherwise great story. You will probably like this movie if you are into anime (I have friends that are and they loved it). It has good visuals and the tea cup scene is enough to warrant watching the movie. Other than that, it has no good qualities.
Night of the Living Dead (1990)
A very very good and very respectful remake of the classic.
First of all, if you are going to enjoy this movie, it is essential to first watch the original. I watched the original recently and liked it very much. When I found the remake I was very skeptical but decided to give it a shot anyway. When I began watching the movie I was pleasantly surprised how faithful it was to the original. I heard many of the same lines, straight from the original. I then feared it would be identical and I would just know exactly what would happen next. However, again I was wrong. It is just different enough to keep you guessing about what will happen next, but not different enough that you could fail to see the resemblance. I have very few complaints about this remake, I actually have more complaints about the original. The movie makes almost constant references to the original, even in its differences. Almost as if it is an identical story being told by another witness, another point-of-view. I think one of the finest remakes I have ever seen, as well as one of the finest Zombie films I have ever scene, and I am very particular about my zombie films. The ending is not the same as the original, but if you have seen the original you will see how it parallels the original ending. I think the way that characters in this remake actually act more realistically than those in the original, and this remake captures the fear that they would experience better than the original did. I loved this movie, I do not think the original could have been remade any better than this. The only reason I do not give it 10/10 is because I feel you need to see the original first before watching the remake. The remake can stand alone, but it is much more enjoyable if you have seen the original and can recognize the parallels.