Reviews

Okay, yes, obviously this is a rip-off of "The Hills Have Eyes." Let's accept it and move on. Most movies these days are ripping off something else, and if the studios can get away with it, so can the indies. But this flick transcends the stigma of "low-budget-straight-to-video-horror-rip-off" for the simple reason that it is incredibly entertaining! Simply put, this is a fun movie to watch. It takes the hackneyed set-up of a bunch of kids taking a shortcut into cannibal mutant territory and delivers it in a fast, interesting, and completely watchable way. Besides the tacked-on opening, I have no gripes with this movie. The cast, the script, the direction, and even the cinematography are all above par, especially given all of our pre-conceived notions about this genre. From start to finish, it's a fun ride (and the Loopz character is a special treat). Plus, the DVD has some good bonus features (the commentary is great). Seriously, if you're a horror fan (especially of 80's slashers, which we all love to love I guess), you're not gonna go wrong with this one. Joe Bob would say check it out.

Everything Brett Piper does is pure gold (okay, maybe "Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell" left a little to be desired). I am never disappointed by his films, which can rarely be said about any filmmaker, let alone the low-budget, independent kind, who have to work a lot harder on their movies. And true to form, "Psyclops" is a great viewing experience. An inspired plot, talented actors, beautiful visuals--hey, this is as good as it gets, folks. The fun begins when an amateur videographer happens upon a lost dimension-bending machine and gets his video camera fused to his skull, turning from video geek to video freak (as the box will tell you). From there, it's awesome effects (Piper did stuff for Troma in his early days), big laughs, suspense, thrills, chills, and yes, even characters you're rooting for. In fact, this movie is put together so well, aspiring filmmakers should use it as reference material, especially for a horror project. Piper throws in everything and the kitchen sink, blending it together perfectly into a fine feast any horror fan will appreciate. I know I do. I'll stop there and leave you with a final thought: go rent this movie right now, emphasis on the right now part.

This is essentially a low-budget rendering of the classic "Evil Dead" premise. However, I don't think it was intended as a rip-off to cash in on that cool movie. It's more likely that no-budget auteur Eric Stanze wanted to cut his teeth on this flick, and didn't want to stray too far from genre conventions. Not to say this is just "Evil Dead," minus Sam and Bruce and a few hundred grand. Compared to most of the shot-on-video horror stuff released, this is halfway decent. Sure, the actors are bad, but the effects are cool, and plot prances along at a pretty steady pace. And the plot, by the way, is a bunch of kids going into the woods and meeting their demise at the hands of demons they inadvertently resurrected. Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. For what it is, it ain't bad. And just to comment on distribution, Miramax and the like aren't exactly chomping at the bit to get their hands on regional shot-on-video horror flicks put together for a couple grand, which leaves few avenues for the independent filmmaker to pursue. But Eric Stanze, I feel, has made the best of it, and has gotten his movies out there. I found two of them with relative ease. And just to be redundant, considering 95-percent of shot-on-video flicks should be thrown into a pit and burned by a Haz-Mat team, this is a decent, entertaining movie of nearly professional quality, and it does fall into that small percentile of watchability.

As both a comic book fan and an Asian cinema buff, I was predisposed to liking this movie, and I did. It's an easy going, from A to B, kind of flick, and for what it is, it's entertaining. Basically, it's about a couple guys who get into the comics biz, and a girl comes between them. Yeah, that's pretty much it, but you can't judge Asian films by American standards; they're like night and day. The film moves at a quick, straight-forward pace, void of American gimmicks, but full of subtleties and nuances rarely found in American films that overdo and melodramatize everything. And that makes for a conundrum when it comes to putting this into a genre. It's not funny enough to be a comedy, and not serious enough to be drama, so yeah, I guess you would have to call it a romance, even though that's not the main focus of the plot. Now, understand, this is not a great film; it's good, not great. But at least it can't be so easily pigeon-holed, and for that it deserves credit. Hey, if you like comics, and you're open-minded about foreign flicks, give it a go. Otherwise, steer clear. It's no teen movie, and it's no star vehicle. It is suitable for the kids, but I doubt they'd like it. Overall, decent movie.

You know, you can spout the mysteries of the universe for all to hear, but if you're the retarded crackhead on the bus, is anyone going to listen to you? Well, maybe, if your name is "Shatter Dead." I think people want there to be a "deep" horror movie so bad, that they're willing to find it in this piece of garbage. Now, understand, it's not the shot-on-video look or the low budget, for I am accustomed to these things and even appreciate them. This is just a bad movie. Bad acting (especially by Stark Raven, good lord), bad directing, bad everything. But there is an arthouse crowd even for zombie movies, and they make believe there's a hoity-toity hidden (or apparent) meaning in this kind of stuff. I just saw a long-haired guy masturbating while spying through a keyhole. I think that's the boldest statement this movie makes. Really makes you think, doesn't it? (Actually, it does make me think, and that's sad) The presence of God, the existence of our souls...if this movie is asking questions (or giving answers) about these things, then it's doing it in the wrong way. And even if it is, so what? It's still a lame movie that plods along like turds falling out of a horse's butt, devoid of entertainment and visually unappealing. Seriously, folks, pull the stick out of your posterior and watch a movie that really says something.

Whoa, I definitely concur with the other review. This is far and away the best rip-off of Mad Max, and a cool movie in it's own right. Bruce Abbott (Re-Animator, doy) plays the likable hero, and unlike the good guy in Italian Road Warrior clones, he's not a grizzled middle-aged man who seems to need glasses. No, it's Bruce's inherent likability that plays a big part in this movie's appeal. Sure, sure, there's the good writing and direction, and the heroine's pretty cool too, but Brucey really steals the show. So in a nuked-out future, a mysterious treasure guarded by monks must be protected from wayward warlords. Basically, that's it, but there's a lot of cool little inventive things that give the proceedings an extra kick and punch. I've only come across this flick once, and I'm thankful I bought it. It's pretty neat.

This is a pretty hard movie to come by, but if you do, don't pass it up! Back in the 80's, when slasher movies were still worth watching, this one came out that plopped a fly into the ointment of the slasher archetype. Get this, there's a ransom theme! You see that in Halloween 11? And some protective custody stuff, too, which is also pretty cool. So there's a janitor in a university building putting rat poison in food to extort money. But when a hot student gets involved, there's lots of cat and mouse games going on. These are really the highlights of the movie. Most run and hide, find and kill sequences are pretty lame, but these pack a lot of punch, and didn't bore me to the point of fast-forwarding, as they often can. Cool scenes involving pools and locker rooms, oh yeah. Maybe it sounds simple, but it is so, so good. An original concept carried out well, what more can you ask for? Not much, friend, not much at all.

Whoa, whoa, wait a sec, this is actually a really cool movie. Maybe it's because I've seen hundreds of poopy horror flicks and my standards are lower, but if you're a true horror fan, you should have low standards, too! Of all Evil Dead inspired horror fare, this has got to be one of, if not the, best. It's got a good (original, well-thought out) story and compelling characters, two things lacking in most modern horror films. Okay, yes, it has the whole cabin-in-the-woods thing going on, but it uses the set-up well, for twists and turns and flashbacks and all kindsa crazy stuff you don't always find in the demon subgenre. If I was Leonard Maltin, which I am not, I would give this two and a half stars. Fer reals, yo. AIP 4eva!

So it's not a great movie. What do you expect with a title used as a joke on "Just Shoot Me"? Exactly. And don't worry, the title isn't something cryptic or deep and metaphorical, this is just a movie about a vampire cop, who kills vampires and fools around with foxy reporter Melissa Moore, semi-famous scream queen of the 90's. Sorry, there's really not much to tell. It's not a good film, but it's not unwatchable. In fact, it might be a good date movie. Picture this: you've got a hot date, but not much money, so you suggest renting a movie. She coerces you into a romantic comedy, you get her to go for the horror opus, namely "Vampire Cop." After finishing the chick flick, you start watching VC and she's all like "This is a horrible movie!" and you're like "You're a horrible movie!" and she says "You are!", and bada-bing, you start making out. So maybe Vampire Cop isn't so bad after all, huh?

People who eat gourmet all their lives would mostly likely be put off by junk food, just as people who watch nothing but Bruckheimer films will be unsure of what to make of this (because they're stupid). Yes, this is shot on video. My God, no. How dare people make a movie within their means. Blasphemy. This is all very shocking stuff to the A-movie layman, I'll bet, but as someone who has seen a lot of super low-budget features, I liked it a lot. Most won't appreciate it, but the cinematography is above-par, in comparison to a lot of the pieces of crap out there. The acting is good by any standards. And the plot is funny, clever, and compelling. No, it doesn't look like Scream 7, but as far as slasher parodies go, you could do much worse. If you actually happen upon this somewhere, please rent it/buy it/take it out of the free bin. It's worth the time.