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roblynmouth
Reviews
Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)
Lost and without Direction it might be, however still enjoyable
I went to this film without any preconceived ideas about what I was in for (I have never seen a Jarmusch film before)expecting to enjoy another offering in the Vampire tranche. And for that I wasn't disappointed, as a fan of the main three actors and appreciative of Mia Wasikowska's up and coming talents in Stoker etc, all three played their arts well, so as to make the 123mins pass by.
I liked the darkness which hung the film together a lot, and the setting of Tangiers, which its history of drug fuelled anything goes, enabled the direction to go anywhere it wanted to without upsetting either film purists or Vampire aficionados. And that was the problem it didn't seem to want to go anywhere except its own bottom. For all the credit I have given the film so far, the one thought that was prominent throughout was 'well when will the story start?" and to be frank it never did.
This was a film which like many films these days, oh to many in my book, which expects the viewer to have an understanding of the incitements of the main characters, as well as an insight of the directors humour (Kit Marlow, FFS) What ever happened to a start, a middle and an ending? lost on the cutting room floor perhaps. I do not like the presumption that we already know what it going on, what drove these Vampires to separate and lead seemingly separate lives across the planet, whilst being still married. Yes I do need plot fillers to bring me up to date, no I do not expect the glorious colour of the piece to be enough to under stand why Kit Marlow was in the flipping thing? Why not Andy Warhol, Bert Blogs, et all, what was his 'crime' to see him ended up as a blood sucking ghoul aged 435 or so.
It was this limpness of plot development and the lack of any clear editing which soiled a large section of the film for me.
I suppose the reason why I gave it 7 was simply because this is what a whole lot of films are made of these days and it was in parts worthy of that much.
Wait for the DVD release.
The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)
Awful
Phone Rings
"Yea, Marty here"
"Marty that you its Leo"
"Hi Leo hows it going in actoring Land these days?"
"Fab Marty, never better, You know how you wanted to make a movie stuffed full of naked women? You know with naked flesh, simulated sex, close ups and all manner of video nasties?"
"Leo, Leo, Leo you been drink-in or sum-ting?, you know those a/h at the censorship house would never let us get away with that, we have yanked this so many times we have given up?"
"Marty baby, steady listen, and you know how you always want to burst the F count in a film?" well think no more, I have the script, I have the finance and I have actors dumb enough to make this film.
"Leo, you know I love you as I would my own bambino, but this is crazy land, get some sleep, I'll call you in the Morning, and talk about that great western we are making"
Thus started the pre-amble for what would become the story of how Marty and Leo hoodwinked the people in making The Wolfe of Wall Street.
3-hours of gratuitous sex. lust, cocaine, champagne and excesses so large that, mere mortals such as us will be forever conned into believing that this is just what the Movie Industry was designed for, Industry self-gratification and a return on the Dollar.
Do yourself a favour with this Wall-St and Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll rip off, if you need to see Sex in a film, order a XXX from any porno outlet, it will be milder. If you want to see people ripping of the Economy take a trip to wall-street.
But don't dignify this carpetbag of a dump truck though.
News just in, Jack Valenti president of the Motion Picture Association of America, has just been found bound and gagged in a dumpster round the back of the offices of the MPAA. A Spokesperson for the MPAA and Police said they were looking into a witness statement, that claims to see 2 diminutive film types speeding away in a car full of naked women and champagne saying "See Marty I told you we could get away with it'.
Battleship (2012)
Brainless escapism
There comes a time when, the movie goer realises, that the reason why they go is to be entertained. Moreover that Movies today are but another example of that, along with TV, the Internet, Radios and even books.There is no need to examine why, just the joy of sitting back and being entertained. Battleship is but one example of that but possibly one of the best of 2012. Its a romp, it rocks when it needs to, it gets to the point apart from the beginning, which seems to be tagged on as an afterthought and it blasts your senses with spectacular CG I, FX, and all means of other movie magic. So what if the story is contrite, that the actors are shallow, the story line looses its way and the script stinks. This movie is about shear b****y enjoyment and the classic good guys -v- the bad. I loved the Aliens, I loved the ham acting, but what i loved most of all was the imagination given to just how one side get to kick the arse of the other. It also has one of the best Battleship manoeuvres you are ever likely to see and possibly the most impossible. However, first and foremost this is about 2 hours of escapism and i loved the depiction of Alien weaponry. So Mr. Berg, full marks for this one and as for Battleship 2, what about a 4 'man' alien special forces team, which is sent to Earth to find out what went wrong sort of the Alien SEAL's, makes contact with home and then Earth has the 500,000 ship attack that Rhianna promised us.
Shame (2011)
Yet another 'worthy ' film about addiction, i think not
OK, lets get the must see bit out of the way first. Yep we get to see the magnificent Fassbender's bits, all of them, nicely toned & shaped. Here is a Yuppie who knows how to look after himself. Mulligan on the other hand display's her 'bits' (sans bas) and as nice as they are and confirms my belief that Mulligan is as attractive without her clothes as she is with. However as a night club singer and not a Yuppie, presumably this accounts for the non-worked out female body? Next lets deal with the incest. OK at the start we see that the two main lead characters are happy with the nudity that each displays to the other. Moreover, the one of two redeeming point of the film is the later section were Sissy (Mulligans role) slips into bed with Brandon (Fassbender) complaining 'she's cold' is dealt with with some acumen, as it gets the message over yes they have been lovers but not for this film, thank you. After that...? nothing, sans, zilch, nada. This is a film about addiction, it doesn't show as is claimed frequently a sex junky trying to rid his demons nor is he phased by his ever widening need for different sex. Brandon is as happy at home with his needs as mom is making the apple pie for Sunday lunch. He doesn't need a way out as it doesn't affect him. He has a great job, his boss loves him (and get to bed his sister within 20mins of meeting her) he is well paid, he dates as and when he wants to he's got a great flat with a luxury address and he enjoys the internet and all its perversions as and when he wants to. Nothing about this person says anything about its time to seek the slippers settle down and breed his 2.5 of the world population. Without Sissy however the film would have crashed and burnt long before its 2 and a bit hour length. Herein lies the second redeeming feature, I liked Mulligan's Sissy. She plays a washed out nightclub girl looking for something to settle down with, somebody who will protect her as a father figure, maybe. In fact her father's figure in Junior (Brandon), having clearly sorted out in her mind that Brandon's butt between her sheets 7 nights a week was just what she was looking for and if that meant substituting sibling bonding for playing Mums and Dads, well that wasn't going to matter one little bit. After all its all family fun at the end of the day. Made all the more realistic as she took on the role of Alex Forrest, MkII. I did think as I left the film, that if Brandon had climbed onto Sissy's hospital bed with the intention of 'nursing her needs', that might have given the whole thing some credence All in all, not something that will have me rushing to the video store when its out for rental, and left me kinda wishing that I'd of stayed at home and caught up on my backlog of TV programs on the TIVO box
Irina Palm (2007)
Classy Brit Flick
Irina Palm is one of those quirky off-beat Brit flicks that you come across every now and again. Based around the life of a middle aged Maggie, widowed, one son and a grandchild dying of a rare illness. Maggie needs a lot of money to pay for the treatment the boy needs, which can only be found in Australia. However, as widow whose main employment seems to have been as a lady who lunches, her work skills are rather non-existent. Also having sold of the family silver and home some time previously there is very little in the kitty to pay for the treatment he needs. However, she eventually finds salvation in the sex trade as an unlikely sex worker however a rather talented one at that. Finding her niche in hand jobs (to be polite) she sets about becoming the best in London and the target of headhunters (or hand-hunters in this case) What I really enjoyed is the sheer brilliant humanity that Ms Faithful brought to the screen as she realizes that there are real people who work the industry, real that is with families, and homes of their own Special mention must go to Miki Manojlovic and Jenny Agutter for two of the best scenes in the film. All in all a well worth the trip out but as its now playing at Art house cinemas might be a little bit tricky to find.