People, I never try to be arbitrary when it comes to movie reviews. I love movies, I love the industry and I love everything involved with it. I went into this movie completely open-minded and expecting nothing more that 3 hours and 49 minutes of entertainment.
This was horrible. This was one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my 44 years. Honestly.
The acting was so over-the-top, the audience in the theatre began groaning audibly within 10 minutes. The editing had to have been done by Stevie Wonder. It was so choppy and disconnected, it bordered on ludicrous.
The battle scenes were exercises in hyperbole. Minute upon minute of men running through the trees. Left to right, it's the Confederate Army. Right to left, it's the Union Army. This went on ad nauseum. Shots fired, men fall. Cannons fire, men fall. More shots fired, more men fall. Etc., etc., etc..
Every scene had some sort of anthemic music attached to it as if it were some monumental turning point in the movie. Totally sappy. At times, it actually drowned out the dialogue which was a mixed blessing.
The actual fighting scenes were another fiasco. Men would charge right into a cannon like they had no common sense at all. No ducking, no trying to avoid the cannon, just running directly into it only to be obliterated.
The rebels in one scene are positioned behind a stone wall awaiting the Union soldiers to climb a hill and attack. OK, reasonable enough. The movie shows the Union soldiers running valiantly up this hill, but as they are running, they are being shot and killed. Someone in the theatre audience yelled, "How can they be getting shot if they haven't reached the top of the hill and gotten in the line of fire of the Rebel soldiers?" The whole cinema burst out laughing.
In one cornpone scene, a Rebel soldier approaches his friends at a campfire. "Boy's, tomorrow's my day to die. My pappy gave me a $20 gold piece for luck. If I die, make sure it's gets sent back to my pappy.", the soldier says. His friend replies, "Oh Zeke, you ain't gonna die."
Next day, they are running through the woods dodging bullets and firing their guns. They jump a wall and hide. "See Zeke, I told you, you weren't gonna die!!" says the friend. BOOM!!! Cannonball hits and Zeke dies. His friend rolls him over and the camera zooms in on Zekes hand. The bloodied hand slowly and dramatically opens to reveal.............a bloody $20 gold piece!! Ta da!! No wonder the south lost. They couldn't shoot their guns very well carrying around $20 gold pieces!!
Then the dialogue. Dear god, every 5 minutes, someone would break out into a soliloquy about God, their "Deah sweet suthin' wife" or even Julius Caesar. And don't even get me started about the southern accents these actors had to feign. It was painful.
This movie was far too long. It was obvious that they were trying to make an "epic". They failed, and failed miserably. This movie has a 12 minute intermission. We stood to stretch our legs and we observed people actually leaving the theatre.
"Hey!! The movie's not over!!" we yelled.
"Oh yes it is!!" they yelled back, and walked out.
Thumbs down
3 out of 7 found this helpful.
Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Tell Your Friends